8:00 AM on 04.03.2011 |
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Thanks to the Destructoid community blogs, I now cannot look at this formerly beautiful screenshot of The Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim without seeing a terrible truth. That truth is the unquestionable penisfinger standing proud on the end of that mage's hand.
What's worse is that it's one of those gnarled, crooked, gross looking penises. The kind that you'd imagine Gary Busey has. If you look at it as long and intensely as I have, you'll notice the whole hand seems to suffer from withered penisflesh syndrome, which is something I can no longer scour from my mind.
The only way to cope is to make all of you see it, too. In fact, look below for some images that prove Elder Scrolls V is all about the penisfinger.

This is the power Kirby gains after swallowing Gary Busey. GAZE UPON HIS STRENGTH AND WEEP!

Heavy Rain finally gets a plot twist that makes sense!

Ekans is too late to warn his friend.

Denis Dyack, thinking about Denis Dyack.
SugarDVD, purveyor of such fine films as What An Asshole and Hairy Asian Schoolgirls Masturbate, has confirmed it'll be bringing its adult entertainment streaming services to Microsoft's next-generation Xbox.
The servic...
[Destructoid turned seven this past Saturday, and all month long Dtoiders have been reminiscing about their time with the site over in our Community Blogs. Here's Handy's little dandy. Show us yours! --Mr Andy Dixon]
We have ...
Dale North's review is taking forever because he keeps getting distracted by sh*t like this.
[Swagtoise's Tumblr via Tiny Cartridge]
This is... well... umm... you know what? I'm not even going to explain it. The latest Hey Ash, Whatcha Playin'? is brilliance, plain and simple. Go watch it and have a good laugh or two.
Hey Ash, Whatcha Playin'? - Civilization V [GameTrailers]
As some of you may or may not have heard, this is officially my last day with Destructoid.
Man ... I can barely type that without getting upset.
I am starting a new job next week at GolinHarris as a writer for Nintendo. It is...
On today's completely professional, mature, and otherwise not stupid or embarrassing Destructoid Show, we discuss some very serious topics. First, a season pass is announced for Assassin's Creed III, and the first DLC will b...
Sometimes this job is boring, and sometimes YouPorn sends Destructoid a press release, excitedly telling us that its streaming sex video services is coming to Xbox Live. Of course, what it actually means is that, with Interne...
Yeah we're a web site, but we are also a collective of fleshy sacks of meat and blood that play video games together and drink sometimes! In an effort to centralize our random adventures and always have a place to show ...
I stand corrected. This is the weirdest story of the weekend!
If you read Joseph Leray's "Nordic New Wave" feature from the other week, you ought to be familiar with Johann Sebastian Joust, a game using accelerometer-powered ...
[Update: So apparently it is not real. Stupid sexy Voldo!]
Namco Bandai recently pulled an advert for SoulCalibur V after fans complained that it was too offensive. No, it wasn't the magazine page featuring ginormous breasts....