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What a week! When we haven't been busy slaying dragons and wooing wenches in Skyrim, Max and I have spent almost every waking moment this week gangbanging and bludgeoning thugs with oversized dildos in Saints Row: The Third. It's a tough job, but somebody's got to do it.

UPDATE: We've also got our hands on some packs of groovy Saints Row: The Third vinyl toys to give away. To win, just leave a comment on this post by 11:59pm PST on November 15th, and we'll randomly pick two winners!

Contests Official Rules

 

No Purchase Required to Enter or Win

1. Eligibility: Destructoid.com contests are usually provided by sponsors who, due to customs and shipping costs (yay budgets), often limit participation to individuals who are legal residents of the fifty (50) United States (unless otherwise stated) and are 12 years of age. We encourage our overseas friends to be super sneaky and make a friend in the United States who can receive your prize, and then you two figure out the customs/logistics. Be cautious about who you trust, obviously. Employees of destructoid.com, their advertising or promotion agencies, those involved in the production, development, implementation or handling of Contests, any agents acting for, or on behalf of the above entities, their respective parent companies, officers, directors, subsidiaries, affiliates, licensees, service providers, prize suppliers any other person or entity associated with the Contests (collectively “Contest Entities”) and/or the immediate family (spouse, parents, siblings and children) and household members (whether related or not) of each such employee, are *not* eligible and will be fired and publicly beaten if are caught participating. All U.S., federal, state and local and regulations apply.

2. Agreement to Official Rules: Participation in the Contest constitutes entrant’s full and unconditional agreement to and acceptance of these Official Rules and the decisions of the Sponsor, which are final and binding. Winning a prize is contingent upon fulfilling all requirements set forth herein.

3. Entry Period: The start and end dates/times of each Contest (the “Entry Period”) will be posted on the applicable Contest site.

4. Entry: To enter a Contest, follow the instructions on the Contest site. Submission will result in one (1) entry. The number of times you can enter the Contest will be posted on the applicable Contest site. The use of any agencies or automated software to submit entries will void all entries submitted by that person.

5. Drawing: At the conclusion of the Entry Period, we will select the names of the potential winners in a random drawing of all eligible entries received during each Entry Period. The number of winners to be selected in a specific Contest will be posted on the applicable Contest site. The odds of being selected as a potential winner depend on the number of eligible entries received during the Entry Period. Potential winners will be contacted via email and will be asked to provide their full name, age and mailing address within a specified time period. If a potential winner does not respond within the timeframe stated in the notification email, we may select an alternate potential winner in his/her place at random from all entries received during the Entry Period. Limit one (1) prize per household per Contest.

6. Requirements of the Potential Winners: Winners will be notified by the e-mail address associated with their account on destructoid.com.com and/or receive a Private Message on destructoid.com.com or through a Twitter Direct Message/Facebook message. Winners have five (5) days from the original message alerting them of their winnings to respond and claim their prize. If no winner comes forward within five business days, the prize will be forfeited and raffled again where Destructoid's hardcore fans are most active (forums/community blogs/facebook group).

7. Prize(s): The prize(s) (including each prize’s approximate retail value) available to be won in a specific Contest will be posted on the Contest site. No cash or other substitution may be made, except by the Sponsor, who reserves the right to substitute a prize with another prize of equal or greater value if the prize is not available for any reason as determined by the Sponsor in its sole discretion. The winners are responsible for any taxes and fees associated with receipt or use of a prize. Prizes will be mailed between 1 to 45 business days after winners have replied with their required info.

8. General Conditions: In the event that the operation, security, or administration of the Contest is impaired in any way for any reason, including, but not limited to fraud, virus, or other technical problem, the Sponsor may, in its sole discretion, either: (a) suspend the Contest to address the impairment and then resume the Contest in a manner that best conforms to the spirit of these Official Rules; or (b) award the prizes at random from among the eligible entries received up to the time of the impairment. The Sponsor reserves the right in its sole discretion to disqualify any individual it finds to be tampering with the entry process or the operation of the Contest or to be acting in violation of these Official Rules or in an unsportsmanlike or disruptive manner. Any attempt by any person to undermine the legitimate operation of the Contest may be a violation of criminal and civil law, and, should such an attempt be made, the Sponsor reserves the right to seek damages from any such person to the fullest extent permitted by law. The Sponsor’s failure to enforce any term of these Official Rules shall not constitute a waiver of that provision. In case of a dispute as to the owner of an entry, entry will be deemed to have been submitted by the authorized account holder of the screen name from which the entry is made. The authorized account holder is defined as the natural person who is assigned to an e-mail address by an Internet access provider, online service provider, or other organization responsible for assigning e-mail addresses for the domain associated with the submitted e-mail address.

9.Release and Limitations of Liability: By participating in the Contest, entrants agree to release and hold harmless the Contest Entities from and against any claim or cause of action arising out of participation in the Contest or receipt or use of any prize, including, but not limited to: (a) unauthorized human intervention in the Contest; (b) technical errors related to computers, servers, providers, or telephone or network lines; (c) printing errors; (d) lost, late, postage-due, misdirected, or undeliverable mail; (e) errors in the administration of the Contest or the processing of entries; or (f) injury or damage to persons or property which may be caused, directly or indirectly, in whole or in part, from entrant’s participation in the Contest or receipt of any prize. Entrant further agrees that in any cause of action, the Contest Entities’ liability will be limited to the cost of entering and participating in the Contest, and in no event shall the Contest Entities be liable for attorney’s fees. Entrant waives the right to claim any damages whatsoever, including, but not limited to, punitive, consequential, direct, or indirect damages.

10. Disputes: Except where prohibited, entrant agrees that any and all disputes, claims and causes of action arising out of, or connected with, the Contest or any prize awarded shall be resolved individually, without resort to any form of class action. All issues and questions concerning the construction, validity, interpretation and enforceability of these Official Rules, entrant’s rights and obligations, or the rights and obligations of the Sponsors in connection with the Contest, shall be governed by, and construed in accordance with, the laws of the Commonwealth of Virginia, without giving effect to any choice of law or conflict of law rules (whether of the Commonwealth of Virginia or any other jurisdiction), which would cause the application of the laws of any jurisdiction other than the Commonwealth of Virginia.

11. Contest Results: To enter the contest without needing to buy/sell anything or request a written copy of the name of the winners, send a self-addressed stamped envelope (stating the specific Contest you are requesting the winners for) to destructoid.com Contest Winners 260 King Street Suite 883, San Francisco California 94107. We run many contests, so please be specific in what you are requesting. Winner requests must be received within thirty (30) days from the end date of the applicable contest (they're always posted on our site though). Winners are usually posted the day following the contest on our contest section. 

Lastly, Destructoid has the right to kick your ass and take away your prize if you are a total dickhead, so be cool and don't kick any puppies on your way to victory. Have fun with our contests and be a good sport when you win or lose. Remember: First you get the power, then you get the money, then get the baby.

 





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Tara Long is a co-host of The Destructoid Show and a previews editor in San Francisco. Tara spontaneously moved to SF in search of adventure after graduating with a degree in Mathematics from Texas, where she went on to pursue a career in the field of scientific research. Likes She is a staunch proponent of kittens, sudoku, Kurt Vonnegut, hip hop music, unrelentless humor, and any game ever made for Sega Genesis. Dtoid aside, Tara spends 95% of her remaining life on Reddit. Meet the rest of the team



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125 comments | showing # 1 to 50
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next 50 comments

SirNinjaFace's Avatar - Comment posted on 11/11/2011 13:57
SirNinjaFace
Love these video reviews.
BrowneyeWinkin's Avatar - Comment posted on 11/11/2011 14:15
BrowneyeWinkin
If you add up all the vids you guys put up this week its way more Max & Tara then we usually get, kudos

I give Taras boob shirt a 10/10
Occams electric toothbrush's Avatar - Comment posted on 11/11/2011 14:29
Occams electric toothbrush
Yeah, these video reviews are great. Keep 'em up.
Janklogs's Avatar - Comment posted on 11/11/2011 15:32
Janklogs
I WANT I WANT
RoBoSexual's Avatar - Comment posted on 11/11/2011 15:33
RoBoSexual
Game needed more oversized dildos for a 10/10.
(God, I hope I win; oversized dildos!)
JooJooFace's Avatar - Comment posted on 11/11/2011 16:34
JooJooFace
Cant wait!!!
klutch50's Avatar - Comment posted on 11/11/2011 16:37
klutch50
Comnent Victory!!!
tamagoyorokobi's Avatar - Comment posted on 11/11/2011 16:43
tamagoyorokobi
Great review guys! I'm so psyched to get the game on Tuesday. I'm gonna be an old lady with pink hair wielding one of those giant purple dildos!
fabledj's Avatar - Comment posted on 11/11/2011 16:56
fabledj
Yessir
Edgar Lopez's Avatar - Comment posted on 11/11/2011 17:37
Edgar Lopez
Mmmmmmm
Marquis Taylor's Avatar - Comment posted on 11/11/2011 18:20
Marquis Taylor
Everyone except Jim and Gametrailers seem to love this game. Really looking forward to my copy in the mail!
maex's Avatar - Comment posted on 11/11/2011 18:44
maex
Despite Jim's review, I'm looking forward to playing it. Maybe even winning something here!
rekviem's Avatar - Comment posted on 11/11/2011 18:46
rekviem
A giveaway? Count me in.
Usedtabe's Avatar - Comment posted on 11/11/2011 19:05
Usedtabe
After Jim's review I was not planning on getting the game anymore, but your review has left me torn. The game still looks fun as balls.
tehwexxl0rz's Avatar - Comment posted on 11/11/2011 19:43
tehwexxl0rz
Random winners? I'm random! I LIKE THOSE ODDS! >:)
MetricInchworm's Avatar - Comment posted on 11/11/2011 20:09
MetricInchworm
Can I please get a dildo bat?

Please?
MailOrderClone's Avatar - Comment posted on 11/12/2011 00:29
MailOrderClone
Now if only we could combine the two games, so we could knock out a dragon with a giant floppy purple dildo.
Tonesworth's Avatar - Comment posted on 11/12/2011 02:46
Tonesworth
Yo lemme get dat.
shadow1w2's Avatar - Comment posted on 11/12/2011 02:59
shadow1w2
Super Random comment power is go!

Professor Genki demands you pick me and the poor crippled kid who may have also entered.... and the Squid monster... I guess he isn't eligible but none the less.

These sour chicken turnips won't teleport themselves you know.

But seriously, nice review.
Covered everything I was looking for and makes me feel better about my purchase.
Course I pre-ordered anyway and a bit disapointed by the removal of some small things but it still sounds like a game I want.
Keep up the good work.
hpv's Avatar - Comment posted on 11/12/2011 03:15
hpv
It really is disappointing that you can't select your facial expression or clothing options (like open/closed jacket). It's also too bad they don't have enough hideous clothes. I really liked making my guy dress like a d-bag in the last one.
Maikol's Avatar - Comment posted on 11/12/2011 05:44
Maikol
yes, i want to blow stuff up and get awesome toys. why isn't nov. 15 here yet?
Arsenic13's Avatar - Comment posted on 11/12/2011 07:03
Arsenic13
Pass that dutch B-Man.
Faux Furry's Avatar - Comment posted on 11/12/2011 08:34
Faux Furry
@hpv- There is always the option to create custom expressions by adjusting lip curl, lip size,lip depth, height of the different parts of the eye brow and eyelid folds and nostrils. It is a lot more work that just picking Blank, Joyful, Psychotic, et cetera, though.

If you want to make your character look like a feminine hygiene product incarnated in human form, besides having a wide array of non-human skin types(if you are looking to go literal with the douche bag look), there are some very Jersey Shore inspired clothes as well as a Jersey hairstyle.

Was that a random enough comment to suit the purposes of the contest?

If not: Skyrim was the worst basketball simulation that I have played all of this century despite the name leading one to believe that the sky was the limit on the distance that one's character could jump over the rim, something which Michael Jordan did on a regular basis back in his old Nike commercials which were 100% true to life portrayals of the game.
Compared to even NBA Jam, it is lacking in realism. I don't even think that I saw paint anywhere except on people's faces, never on the lanes. -10/1000
SuperMuerte's Avatar - Comment posted on 11/12/2011 12:00
SuperMuerte
a comment here?
John Green1's Avatar - Comment posted on 11/12/2011 12:10
John Green1
I cant wait for this game! and I dont even have a xbox or a ps3...or a wii, ugh, help a man out!!
Little Mac's Avatar - Comment posted on 11/12/2011 12:13
Little Mac
Dragon Shout to Victory!
asmilon's Avatar - Comment posted on 11/12/2011 13:32
asmilon
Yeah for Saints Row 3!!!!
Zantetzuken's Avatar - Comment posted on 11/12/2011 14:19
Zantetzuken
I'm hoping that once all is said and done with this game (in my case) it will not disappoint. About the video, it was nice to hear details about the character customization that were not touched upon within the written review. I approve.
DepressedOptimist's Avatar - Comment posted on 11/12/2011 15:13
DepressedOptimist
I am looking forward to Saints Row. I played a little of Saints Row 2 at my friends house, and just picked up the bundle pack of the first two games recently. I've also been messing around with the initiation station and was a little disappointed with how muscular your guy is even with muscle dialed down to zero.
DrangeM's Avatar - Comment posted on 11/12/2011 16:25
DrangeM
I like free things!
twb2593's Avatar - Comment posted on 11/13/2011 17:01
twb2593
I can has prize?
frisbee god's Avatar - Comment posted on 11/13/2011 18:58
frisbee god
im always up for free stuff and the game sounds and looks fun
DreamingRevenge's Avatar - Comment posted on 11/13/2011 21:39
DreamingRevenge
Both Skyrim and Saints Row reviews were great. Keep doing whatchu doing!
Michael Myers's Avatar - Comment posted on 11/13/2011 22:59
Michael Myers
Mines should be here tomorrow :)
Hugh G Rection's Avatar - Comment posted on 11/14/2011 12:47
Hugh G Rection
Comment
BkV's Avatar - Comment posted on 11/14/2011 12:50
BkV
I love how the Giveaway posts have the most posts.
dannychando's Avatar - Comment posted on 11/14/2011 12:50
dannychando
The Only thing saint's row needs is dragon slaying.
glowbug's Avatar - Comment posted on 11/14/2011 12:51
glowbug
These reviews are awesome. I really like all the extra stuff we're getting.
Tristrix's Avatar - Comment posted on 11/14/2011 12:54
Tristrix
Gimme.
momomo66's Avatar - Comment posted on 11/14/2011 12:58
momomo66
Keep it up guys, Destructoid remains the best VG site online right now... right now.
SuperMuerte's Avatar - Comment posted on 11/14/2011 12:59
SuperMuerte
looking forward to this game
Lewis McKie's Avatar - Comment posted on 11/14/2011 13:00
Lewis McKie
Yessums
XDustinEFLX's Avatar - Comment posted on 11/14/2011 13:02
XDustinEFLX
Saint's Row: The Third looks like it could be the most all-around fun game to come out in a very, very long time.
DeCoYSpIz's Avatar - Comment posted on 11/14/2011 13:02
DeCoYSpIz
why bother entering i never fucking win
Megaphone's Avatar - Comment posted on 11/14/2011 13:03
Megaphone
Just what I need, more vinyl toys cluttering my bookshelves!
HostileFire's Avatar - Comment posted on 11/14/2011 13:04
HostileFire
At the moment I would rather be playing Saints Row 3 than Skyrim. Oblivion and Fallout 3 both were okay but I have a hard time believing I would love Skyrim.
hellofahat's Avatar - Comment posted on 11/14/2011 13:08
hellofahat
I love giant purple dildo's. Can I win something?
tuoman's Avatar - Comment posted on 11/14/2011 13:09
tuoman
El Boom.
MACTHEKNIFE's Avatar - Comment posted on 11/14/2011 13:16
MACTHEKNIFE
I am commenting on this because I think it would be cool to win something. Although I have to admit, I'm scared of what the prizes are.
pokota's Avatar - Comment posted on 11/14/2011 13:21
pokota
Yesterday, in the grocery store, I had my faith in humanity restored. Two small children were walking ahead of me, pointing out foods that they did not like.

Little Girl: "I hate that, and that, and I hate that, too."
Little Boy: "Um. Well, um, I hate everything."
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