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We all know the whole "The Wii is two GameCubes duct taped together" joke. Well, after watching this video, I can't help but think maybe the Wii is more like a GameCube nailed to a Nintendo 64. Cruis'n USA wasn't the best racing game ever made, but it was one of the funniest games someone could own when the N64 launched. Cruis'n recently made a comeback on the Wii, but it seems like the developer really didn't try that hard. The only difference I can really tell is that the Wii version used real half naked women in the game as apposed the N64's digital whores.

All joking aside, we know that the Wii can put out far better graphics than what we're seeing here. This is just the result of a developer being extremely lazy and rushing out a game to make a quick buck. If you really need a Cruis'n game, then just wait and pray that the N64 version makes it to the Virtual Console.

Also, I've completely forgotten how ridiculous Cruis'n USA was. From the music that sounds like a girl is trying out anal for the first time, to being able to smash into a school bus with screaming children, this game is a classic.


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59 comments | showing # 1 to 50

vp360's Avatar
vp360 at 12/14/2007 17:43
hey i am for XBOX360 all the way! but the Wii is winning this gen even though it sucks.
king3vbo's Avatar
king3vbo at 12/14/2007 17:44
Wow, they actually look like the same game
ArrestedDeveloper's Avatar
ArrestedDeveloper at 12/14/2007 17:45
Apparently when a system prints money you are allowed to phone it in.
007's Avatar
007 at 12/14/2007 17:49
Damn, i didn't know you could use nitro in Crus'n 64...
Fading Star's Avatar
Fading Star at 12/14/2007 17:53
Mezzers.
Cheeburga's Avatar
Cheeburga at 12/14/2007 17:54
I like the trophy girl for n64.
Ignus's Avatar
Ignus at 12/14/2007 17:58
I stopped the video as soon as I saw the women in the Wii version as real (2D) people instead of 3D fake people. That just looks horrific.
casualweaponry's Avatar
casualweaponry at 12/14/2007 17:59
Wii supply problem solved!

Just make incredibly shitty games that can't be differentiated from their predecessors from two fucking console generations ago and no-one will want a Wii!

Hell, even the girl from the N64 version is hotter, all 3 animation frames of her. Whatever happened to the Nintendo Seal of Quality?
Zeal404's Avatar
Zeal404 at 12/14/2007 18:00
Revving the engine for the come from behind win
Danmartigan's Avatar
Danmartigan at 12/14/2007 18:01
I rather enjoyed the LA Ghetto™ level.
CaptainApocalypse's Avatar
CaptainApocalypse at 12/14/2007 18:05
So sad.
corneliuscack's Avatar
corneliuscack at 12/14/2007 18:05
@danro

LOL i was thinking the same thing.
FuriousGeorge's Avatar
FuriousGeorge at 12/14/2007 18:08
if I had a nickle for every shitty game for the wii Id be able to buy zack and wiki
Noah's Avatar
Noah at 12/14/2007 18:12
I kinda want a wii...mainly so I can play more games with my wife. I hate that the graphics are so terrible, like they don't even try(like in this game's case) because they claim that it's not about graphics but game play. Lazy bums.
BahamutZero's Avatar
BahamutZero at 12/14/2007 18:25
HAHAHAHAHHAHAHA omg fucking hilarious
MechaMonkey's Avatar
MechaMonkey at 12/14/2007 18:31
Maybe they were trying to keep that shitty arcade graphics feel?
Cyberxion's Avatar
Cyberxion at 12/14/2007 18:36
Yes. Because obvious lame-duck cash-ins are a fair way to gauge a system's power.

Really though, this is funny. But the reason for that goes way beyond the video up there.
AgentMOO's Avatar
AgentMOO at 12/14/2007 18:46
Awfulsauce.

Actually on the N64 one did you notice that the woman is getting a little too friendly with the trophy?
SDogg554's Avatar
SDogg554 at 12/14/2007 18:46
rush 2049 on the n64 owns this. nuff said
zardoz's Avatar
zardoz at 12/14/2007 18:54
But isn't Mario galaxy on the Wii?

Why are people using a blatantly shit game as a measure of a console's capabilities?
Hamza CTZ Aziz's Avatar
Hamza CTZ Aziz at 12/14/2007 18:59
"All joking aside, we know that the Wii can put out far better graphics than what we're seeing here. This is just the result of a developer being extremely lazy and rushing out a game to make a quick buck."

I was pointing out the rush job of the game. There are plenty of games (from Nintendo mostly) that show off the Wii's good graphics potential.
AgentMOO's Avatar
AgentMOO at 12/14/2007 19:00
@zardoz
Try reading the post



We all know the whole "The Wii is two GameCubes duct taped together" joke. Well, after watching this video, I can't help but think maybe the Wii is more like a GameCube nailed to a Nintendo 64. Cruis'n USA wasn't the best racing game ever made, but it was one of the funniest games someone could own when the N64 launched. Cruis'n recently made a comeback on the Wii, but it seems like the developer really didn't try that hard. The only difference I can really tell is that the Wii version used real half naked women in the game as apposed the N64's digital whores.

All joking aside, we know that the Wii can put out far better graphics than what we're seeing here. This is just the result of a developer being extremely lazy and rushing out a game to make a quick buck. If you really need a Cruis'n game, then just wait and pray that the N64 version makes it to the Virtual Console.
grrza's Avatar
grrza at 12/14/2007 19:10
Wow, the N64 was awesome!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
vexed alex's Avatar
vexed alex at 12/14/2007 19:29
They've got some nerve if they decide to price this at $50.
timtheterrible's Avatar
timtheterrible at 12/14/2007 19:40
I've yet to see a Wii game that couldn't be done graphically on the GC. I think the devs have had enough time.
urbanyeti's Avatar
urbanyeti at 12/14/2007 19:57
The best part of Cruisin' USA was the song it would sing to you while entering your name on the High Score List.

"Whats your name? WHO-HO-HOOOO! (cue snappy latin beat) Does it start with an A? B? C? E? F? G? How bout a H? I? J? K..."
BFeld13's Avatar
BFeld13 at 12/14/2007 20:03
Just.... wow
niakori's Avatar
niakori at 12/14/2007 20:04
I miss my 64, I miss roadrash more.
NihonTiger90's Avatar
NihonTiger90 at 12/14/2007 20:10
I requested a review copy of this game.

You know. To tear it a new one.
ikoul's Avatar
ikoul at 12/14/2007 20:17
Cruis'n USA was totally awesome back in the day. It's still awesome. The music was funny. The racing was about as good as you could get at the time... I would buy it the second it came out on virtual console, and it would be much better than the new crappy one.
NukaCola's Avatar
NukaCola at 12/14/2007 20:49
Cruisin' Wii's graphics look no worse than GTA: San Andreas.
Iron Gamer's Avatar
Iron Gamer at 12/14/2007 20:52
OMG!!! HUGE DISCOVERY!
the starting point womans voice sounded familiar so i looked up a few racing games that I last played on a recent trip to the arcade (people still go to the arcade don't they?). Anyway I discovered that the half naked womans voice is an exact copy of the half naked woman on the Fast and the Furious video game... Don't know if its that huge of a discovery but just seems like these people spent a month making this game...
Mink Car's Avatar
Mink Car at 12/14/2007 21:01
Atrocities like this make me want to hurl my Wii out the window sometimes... then I go on the Brawl preview site and it's all better :D
brotherkirk's Avatar
brotherkirk at 12/14/2007 21:05
I think we're all missing the point, here--the Wii is using its space-age technology to give us something the N64 version couldn't give us: UNBROKEN DRIVING LANES. Do any of you know what it takes these days to put a line down the middle of the screen, occasionally bending without having dashes to give the memory a rest? I don't. And that's why I leave this up to the pros.

This feat is almost as impressive as Blast Processing.
DanielMachine's Avatar
DanielMachine at 12/14/2007 21:31
LAAME!
Fuck, I loved Cruis'n USA. Is that weird?
Copyright 2008 Agent Chieftain's Avatar
Copyright 2008 Agent Chieftain at 12/14/2007 21:35
Speed Devils for the Dreamcast had better graphics.

And I enjoyed it more than the original Cruis'n.
Jamish's Avatar
Jamish at 12/14/2007 21:36
@Iron_Gamer

Actually, I read that the game was just a port of the Fast and the Furious, except they dropped the title because they no longer had the licensing. But still, good ears.
hoydensnare's Avatar
hoydensnare at 12/14/2007 22:37
w00t! The N64 is capable of Wii level graphics. Who knew?
Justice's Avatar
Justice at 12/14/2007 23:24
Crusin USA was a pretty sick game
DynamicSheep's Avatar
DynamicSheep at 12/14/2007 23:58
Wow, this really looks like shit... what lazy developers.
Necros's Avatar
Necros at 12/15/2007 00:11
Dammit developers, when you stop making games for the system because no one buys them, you'll only have yourselves to blame! Quit sucking!
Orionsaint's Avatar
Orionsaint at 12/15/2007 00:36
konchu's Avatar
konchu at 12/15/2007 00:53
Though I do think the Wii version does look better than the N64 version it still looks bad. Cruisin USA was a good game back in the day but this new game does not pull well at the nostalgia strings, its not doing that for me. I would think they could have kept the nostalgia made a better looking game and done well though.
JohanMcDougal's Avatar
JohanMcDougal at 12/15/2007 01:08
No, it's definitely a port of "The fast and the furious", minus the "the fast and the furious" title. I worked at an arcade that had it for a while.

Keep in mind, the arcade version ran on dated PC hardware from about 3-4 years ago and, while it didn't look like an amazing graphics monster beast, it definitely looked better than this. So, way to get beaten by 3-4 year-old PC Hardware, Wii.
Drift64's Avatar
Drift64 at 12/15/2007 01:57
Wow Dtoid you just brought me back to 1997!
Cyberxion's Avatar
Cyberxion at 12/15/2007 01:59
No, not really. It looked a little sharper, but it still sucked a metric fuck-ton of asshole through a straw.

But really though, like the damned article said, the game's craptasticness has more to do with the laziness of the developers more than any fault on the part of the Wii.
Lightthrower's Avatar
Lightthrower at 12/15/2007 02:13
More turd for the Wii, gotta feel the 3rd party love Nintendo is getting.
Trowble's Avatar
Trowble at 12/15/2007 03:28
Cruis'n USA was the shizznimatisticales on the arcade and ok for the N64, but what kind of developer excrement came out for the Wii?
Mxyzptlk's Avatar
Mxyzptlk at 12/15/2007 03:28
Seriously Nintendo, sometimes it's okay to tell 3rd parties "no".
Burnt Meatloaf's Avatar
Burnt Meatloaf at 12/15/2007 05:31
Low dev costs for the win! That's what Nintendo wanted, right?

@Mxyzptlk: If Nintendo's publishing reputation isn't at stake, then every answer will be "yes".

Frankly, so long as the game doesn't erase saved games from other titles or cause other kinds of system havoc, I don't really think anyone needs to crack down on quality standards.

What this is, I hope, is a hard reminder to all Wii owners that THEY are in control of software quality. Stop buying crap, and it will... well, at least diminish. Of course, does that work in the real world?
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