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The Destructoid Comic: HAWP to it

5:40 PM on 05.08.2009   |   Mikey

The Destructoid Comic: HAWP to it photo

Jim, CTZ and the RetroforeGO! crew are traveling through the Destructoid City subway system, which is now overrun with zombie trolls. There they find Necros, who leads them to a safe room/broom closet to meet other survivors.

The Destructor-toid is still roaming the city skyline ploughing through buildings in an almost child-like fashion. Along with it, the streets are filled with seemingly sentient Xbox 360s, attacking anyone that they come across. No-one has a clue what's going on. Not even me.

It was Conrad Zimmerman who had the winning comment this time. Check it out after the jump.

Next page:

MEANWHILE, IN SUBURBIA --

Ashly Burch is curled up in her overstuffed chair, game controller in hand. Anthony Burch approaches from behind her. "Hey Ash, whatcha playing?"

"I don't know," she responds with a quizzical look on her face. "I just got it in the mail. It's some kind of robot game."

A robot game indeed. The screen displays a giant robot, none other than the Destructor-toid, as it rampages throughout city streets. "It's pretty cool," Ashly continues, "free-roaming, fully destructible environments and the graphics are amazing."

Anthony turns to face Ashly and asks, "Ash, did you notice anything odd when you started up the Xbox?"

"No. Why?"

"It has three red lights..."
I kept as accurate the the comment as I possibly could, it's pretty much word for word.


THE RULES:
1. You have 24 hours from the time this blog was posted to suggest what happens next. After that, I'll choose the winning comment and the page will then be posted the following week.

2. Try to keep it relatively SFW.

3. You can only make a suggestion once per week.

4. Your suggestion has to fit on one page (although I will occasionally stretch it to two pages).

Now what? What's up with the Burch 360? What is this mysterious game? Does it control the Destructor-toid in some way? How? AND WHERE THE HELL IS NIERO?!
LAUNCH GALLERY (2 IMAGES)
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33 comments | showing # 1 to 33
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pedrovay2003's Avatar - Comment posted on 05/08/2009 15:06
pedrovay2003
Haha, this is awesome, as usual.
falinter's Avatar - Comment posted on 05/08/2009 15:06
falinter
Aw no double page?

Wheres Papa Burch? is he going to bust out the METALGEAR?
Daniel Carneiro's Avatar - Comment posted on 05/08/2009 17:28
Daniel Carneiro
awesome :D
I like the new gamer dictionary :)
Dead Movie Star's Avatar - Comment posted on 05/08/2009 17:43
Dead Movie Star
A whole page that is just Papa Burch looking over his book and saying, "It looks retarded."
ArrestedDeveloper's Avatar - Comment posted on 05/08/2009 17:45
ArrestedDeveloper
Agree with falinter, we need to see papa Burch.
D-503's Avatar - Comment posted on 05/08/2009 17:46
D-503
they discover that the robots are not actually robots BUT IT'S JUST A VIDEO GAME! BUM BUM BUUUUUMM
Naim Master's Avatar - Comment posted on 05/08/2009 17:46
Naim Master
I stick with my last week suggestion , that must happen...

They are told that they can't find a Dreamcast in Goodwill anymore because it was destroyed by zombies , but are told of a ancient legend , of the immortal bearded samurai Y0j1mb0 , owner of all slightly related to gaming and of a powerfull clan of samurais , the legend says it's just across the subway , but no one ever tryed to get there , fearing Nemesis (from Resident Evil), with no choice left , our mighty heroes try to cross the subway ...Oh , and the clan is the Dtoid community ! (and I MUST appear, one handed katana , big eyes ,big head , big eyebrows , black hair and white skin)...Also , Nemesis is Mr Sadistic , with the gimp suit and all ...
Technophile's Avatar - Comment posted on 05/08/2009 17:50
Technophile
Ha ha! Brilliant!
Colette Bennett's Avatar - Comment posted on 05/08/2009 18:05
Colette Bennett
Everything you draw amazes me, Mikey.
randombullseye's Avatar - Comment posted on 05/08/2009 18:17
randombullseye
This comic looks great, but why waste it on this nonsense?
007's Avatar - Comment posted on 05/08/2009 18:27
007
Awesome awesome and uhh... Awesome!

But I think we need some more Papa Burch. Just sayin'.


NAWWAHIMEAN?
Zippyduda's Avatar - Comment posted on 05/08/2009 18:29
Zippyduda
Randombullseye, how very dare you!

Good job as always on the suggestion and great artwork, well done.
Projectexodus's Avatar - Comment posted on 05/08/2009 18:40
Projectexodus
It appears that Mr. Burch has unusually large amount of space in between his legs. He should eat more and do some strength training.
Chronic Logic's Avatar - Comment posted on 05/08/2009 18:44
Chronic Logic
They pull the tv socket plug off and they discover the TV is still working! And they get sucked into the television!
FalconReaper's Avatar - Comment posted on 05/08/2009 18:50
FalconReaper
Again Naim Master's suggestion with me as the reaper dude( I'm black) with the falcon on his shoulder, holding the boss files book and scythe controlling Sadistic. motive for doing this is to get a chance to bust the giant robot and get into " the files" for future reference. I also have an inexplicable, nigh on superhuman knowledge of boss characters, their conventions, and random boss related terms ( like OOSP, the obligatory overpowered super attack). The other reason is because I exiled myself from the clan to become the world's greatest "bossologist"
vexed alex's Avatar - Comment posted on 05/08/2009 18:56
vexed alex
I got a suggestion!

In the next one, Randombullseye appears and annoys everyone like he normally does.
Takeshi's Avatar - Comment posted on 05/08/2009 19:31
Takeshi
Mikey...

I think I love you. In a manly way.
Electro Lemon's Avatar - Comment posted on 05/08/2009 20:01
Electro Lemon
The red-ringed Xbox transformers into a deadly robot, and Reverend Anthony and Ashly run for cover. The Xbox closes in on them, destroying everything in its path, and finally, when it's about to attack, Papa Burch busts in and shoots it dead. And then, of course, he says something clever and Papa Burch-y.
Sterling Aiayla Lyons's Avatar - Comment posted on 05/08/2009 20:04
Sterling Aiayla Lyons
Very fucking nice Mikey!

I like Naim Master's suggestion for continuing for continuing the hero's sewer journey.

I like Chronic Logic's idea for continuing on with the Burch subplot(or something simmilar to it).

So I think you could do another two page spread where the first page is Chronic's idea and shows the Burch siblings getting sucked into a digital world(and maybe you could somehow allude that they are being taken to someplace closer to where Niero is). The second page could then be Naim Master's idea.

That's my opinion anyhow.
Red TheHaze Veron's Avatar - Comment posted on 05/08/2009 20:31
Red TheHaze Veron
I JIZZED MY KEYBOARD
madninja's Avatar - Comment posted on 05/08/2009 20:41
madninja
While Anthony is perplexed by the red ringed Xbox 360 he has no time to worry about that because a knife is thrown and almost hits him. Anthony turns around to see a group of ninjas and the leader of the group says "We need the girl" Anthony is shock and Ashley not caring you hear a thud and Mr. Burch comes busting out with a triple barrel rocket launcher saying "Who the hell is fucking up my wall"
Anthony Burch's Avatar - Comment posted on 05/08/2009 21:12
Anthony Burch
This is awesome. Ash isn't around so she hasn't seen it yet, but I'm sure she'll shit herself when she does.

I love the fact that we're tangential to the "main" group -- I hope it stays that way to some degree so that you end up with one of those really epic "several separate groups of people who know each other fighting in different areas for the same cause" formats like MGS4 and the end of the third LOTR movie used to great effect.
Monodi's Avatar - Comment posted on 05/08/2009 21:23
Monodi
She will blast the entire fucking universe!
CrudeDarkness's Avatar - Comment posted on 05/09/2009 00:10
CrudeDarkness
Ash: "so?"
Anthony: "so? what do you mean so?"
Ash: "hey, as long as it works who cares what color it is anyway?"
Anthony: "good point.... no wait! that's not what I............... hey Ash.."
Ash: "what?"
Anthony: "Doesn't that house look familiar? It kinda looks like our house"
Technophile's Avatar - Comment posted on 05/09/2009 02:10
Technophile
I just noticed the books on the shelf. Well fucking done Mikey. Well done.
odber's Avatar - Comment posted on 05/09/2009 04:53
odber
Ashley looks hot
eskimo bob's Avatar - Comment posted on 05/09/2009 07:46
eskimo bob
what Dead Movie Star said, but replace "It looks retarded" with "METAL GEAR."

and this comic never ceases to amaze me. I love this comic.
RiotMonster's Avatar - Comment posted on 05/09/2009 09:50
RiotMonster
You drew Ash so cute.. :3
Nukkus's Avatar - Comment posted on 05/09/2009 12:11
Nukkus
Panel #4 is uber-kawaii!
MechaMonkey's Avatar - Comment posted on 05/09/2009 12:48
MechaMonkey
View of the outside of the Burch estate, the sound of screaming within. Cut to Ashley wearing a mask of some frightening game character, Anthony angrily asks where she gets these things. The red rings are temporarily forgotten. Cut to satellite image of Miami, zoom in to a Helghast guard walking into a large office where a man faces away from us in a high-backed chair. One arm is visible, sporting a white sleeve, and a cat with the head of a Destructoid robot sits on the desk. The Helghast salutes. "Sir... They've taken the bait." Cue evil laughter, maybe cat stroking.
necrozen's Avatar - Comment posted on 05/10/2009 13:54
necrozen
My favorite page yet! And I second Rev Ant's idea about the climax where several factions are all battling the evil at the same time. Love when that happens, Temple of Doom did it well, all be it on a much smaller scale.

Speaking of... you should put some temple of doom in there.
KyleGamgee's Avatar - Comment posted on 05/11/2009 00:04
KyleGamgee
I love it!
downsouthhustla's Avatar - Comment posted on 05/24/2009 21:31
downsouthhustla
Just read all the pages tonight, it's amazing. Oh, and the full life consequences reference? Fuck yeah, I didn't know other ppl laughed at that shit.
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