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The Castlevania movie is falling apart; wait, let me go put on my surprise face photo

I don’t know what it is about video game movies and bad directors. They kind of go together like bad jokes and Full House – Season 3.

One of the biggest offenders of bad directing, Paul W.S. Anderson (not to be confused with actual good director Paul Thomas Anderson), has completely dropped off the Castlevania movie, according to Dread Central. Anderson was pegged to write and direct the film, which made a lot of Castlevania fans (myself included) cry like a little girl. And not the fun kind of “I just got a pony!” cry. More like the “my puppy just got run over!” kind of sob.

But don’t let the potentially good news about Paul W.S. Anderson leaving get you too excited. While bringing on a new director is great for some films in the end (*cough* Empire Strikes Back *cough*), one has to think how awful everything must have been to make even the infamous Anderson leave the project. Man, I bet things were just a mess on that set. Angry Medusas, disgruntled Fleamen. I would have loved to been there.

Hit the jump for more (plus, a rant!).

In all seriousness, a Castlevania movie should have been nothing but awesome from the start. It has vampires, a whip-wielding hero, giant monsters, creepy locations, epic set pieces, over-the-top action sequences, a loyal fan base. The ingredients for a summer blockbuster couldn’t have been more perfect.

What is it with all these video game movies? Why do they all completely fall apart or make me throw up in my own mouth? Come on, Dtoid readers, we are intelligent, creative people – let’s just get together, whip up some awesome scripts, sell them to Hollywood, and start making some kick ass video game movies for a change! I am getting sick of all the drama. Who’s with me?!

(awkward silence)

Nobody? Dag.


Continue: More Video game films stories





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26 comments | showing # 1 to 26

savagesaladin's Avatar
savagesaladin at 03/27/2007 18:56
Oh god, why fat cosplayers? Either their too fat, too skinny, too ugly or the wrong gender. Cosplayers never seem to pull it off.

Good news though.
Necros's Avatar
Necros at 03/27/2007 19:23
I'd rather have no Castlevania movie than one directed by Anderson. I'm glad to see he's no longer on the project.

However, I still have doubts about whether or not Castlevania is suited for the big screen. The early games had barebone plots, and though recent IGA-directed games have larger plots and established canon, I still can't see a strong movie plot emerging from any game.
William Haley's Avatar
William Haley at 03/27/2007 19:44
I'm with you Chad! Can we get some ice cream on the way?
Scape's Avatar
Scape at 03/27/2007 19:45
Instead of Destructoid pulling together to make a video game movie, why don't we pull together and make an actual video game? It just makes more sense to me.
bvicarious's Avatar
bvicarious at 03/27/2007 19:49
What is a man? A miserable little pile of secrets! But enough talk... Have at you!
Sharpless's Avatar
Sharpless at 03/27/2007 19:51
Oh, come now. Surely you're overreacting.

...the cosplayer in the middle is cute.
sirmoosh's Avatar
sirmoosh at 03/27/2007 19:59
Haha I agree with Scape.

Though my memories of Castlevania aren't so fond.
Playing 2 on the NES when I was little was quite the challenge.
Then moving from that to the N64 version.
My feelings for it are somewhat vile.
Crunshii's Avatar
Crunshii at 03/27/2007 20:08
If Castlevania was made with that director, wouldnt be a copy of Van Hellzing? but shit-ier?
supremeFronk's Avatar
supremeFronk at 03/27/2007 20:14
Full House and bad jokes? How rude!
grrza's Avatar
grrza at 03/27/2007 20:21
@ sirmoosh: No wonder, you skipped all the best ones!
Chad Concelmo's Avatar
Chad Concelmo at 03/27/2007 21:26
@supremeFronk's "How rude!" You are awesome. :)
Tubatic's Avatar
Tubatic at 03/27/2007 21:34
Agreed Crunshii. Once I figured out what was actually happening in Van Helsing, I gave up serious hope for a Castlevania movie, because i was watching a bad one.
Dexter345's Avatar
Dexter345 at 03/27/2007 21:38
Cancelling this movie altogether would probably be the best news for it.
BahamutZero's Avatar
BahamutZero at 03/27/2007 21:40
good surprise face chad
bleep's Avatar
bleep at 03/27/2007 22:05
Van Helsing WAS the castlevania movie....wasn't it?
Just be happy that that got made at all.
epoch's Avatar
epoch at 03/27/2007 22:16
why the Paul W.S. Anderson hate? The man directed event horizon, at least give him props for that
Mxyzptlk's Avatar
Mxyzptlk at 03/27/2007 22:30
I'm still pissed that Hollywood continues to ignore my brilliant Donkey Kong Jr. Math script.
Crunshii's Avatar
Crunshii at 03/28/2007 00:20
u got my vote Mxyzptlk!

now... if Hollywood could spell ur name right once, we might actually get to sign something...
Static X's Avatar
Static X at 03/28/2007 01:45
@epoch
I love Event Horizon, but nothing can justify Soldier, Resident Evil movies, and AVP. Not to mention he had a hand in the shitty DOA movie. He could have penned the script for The Godfather and I would still hate him after seeing the garbage mentioned above. This is the best news possible for the Castlevania series.
nightshift1973's Avatar
nightshift1973 at 03/28/2007 02:17
Well he did the one thing Jack Thompson can't do. stop a video game cold. think Mortal Kombat
Remz's Avatar
Remz at 03/28/2007 03:26
5 bucks says uwe boll picks it up.
PetiePalo's Avatar
PetiePalo at 03/28/2007 08:41
Damn it. This could be an AWESOME movie. We could use a more realistic vampire movie since the Blade II and III atrocities.

I mean come on, a vampire hunter with a whip? Even a METAL whip. That screams awesome.
RICHARD BLOCKER's Avatar
RICHARD BLOCKER at 03/28/2007 10:16
flea men on film FTW!!!!
nic_disassembly's Avatar
nic_disassembly at 03/28/2007 14:05
i just checked the imdb page for the movie...LOL at the thread titles "Stop Anderson before he kills again" and others...

this movie could work if the director/producer give enough respect to Castlevania fans...and that is, the franchise is 20 years old, hence most of us are in our late 20s and early 30s...stay away from the anime crap, and make it creepy...bring back the dude who's boat you got on in part 2...bring back the grim reaper from part 1...show lots of blood and boobs ;)
FengLong's Avatar
FengLong at 04/08/2007 19:06
Hell, wtf r u talking about?
when i heard that a castlevania movie will be release i was f**ing amazed.
i love the whole series and no matter who will be to direct t3h cv movie i'd love it.
btw what is it you got against anderson? c'mon, avp wasnt that bad oO
i guess you always just make your own little connection between the stories so that youre f**ed up when seeing someone that destroys your cute little world with the REAL story... you just aint no real fans if you cant tolerate a movie being made of cv, thats my opinion.
that movie could show us all the real depth of the cv timeline, but you ignore that. as for me, i like to write some real deep fanfics about cv but i aint pissed off when a new game is released destroying my whole logic...
i look forward to that motion picture - pathetic, if you dont.
Asellus's Avatar
Asellus at 06/28/2008 22:02
Nah... It sounds really interesting !!
I just hope Michiru Yamane will do the soundtrack or it's screwed....

Love Castlevania!
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