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The biggest mama's boys in videogames

4:00 PM on 05.07.2011 // Tony Ponce
  @megaStryke

Tomorrow is Mother's Day! It's the day to stop thinking of yourself for a change and to show your gratitude to that wonderful woman who shaped the person you've become.

Wait... that's not right, is it? Why must we only honor our mothers once a year? They've been there every step of the way, so it's only fair that we express our love and adoration whenever possible. Don't they deserve as much?

On that note, rather than a boring "gaming's best mothers" list that we've likely seen dozens of times before, I present a list of gaming's biggest mama's boys! We all think that our moms are the absolute bestest, but these guys go the extra mile for mommy's smile!

I consider myself a mama's boy -- you won't believe how many times I've badmouthed my brother just to make myself look like the more loyal son! Heck, I'm 25 and I still do my family's dishes and laundry and run errands of my own volition just to earn brownie points! But I have no shame, and why should I? I love my mom and so do the fellas below!

Well, duh! He's the poster child of this trope and and the inspiration for this whole feature!

Sephiroth's is a tragic tale. He was an elite soldier who, while still in the womb, was infused with the cells of a powerful alien creature. Growing up, he was told that his real mother was some woman named Jenova. When he discovers that Jenova and the alien are one and the same, well, he throws one heck of a hissy fit.

Those mean ol' scientists did nasty experiments on mommy! They deserve to pay! So Sephy goes out and kills a bunch of people, then he decides to turn the entire planet to ash. Why? Because that's what mommy would have wanted.

It's a heartwarming story of mother and son bonding after years of separation. And by heartwarming, I mean fucking psychotic.

Like Sephiroth, Paxton is just trying to help his poor, abused mother get revenge on all the evil science nerds who wouldn't leave well enough alone. He pursues this noble goal by eating people and telepathically commanding an army of super soldiers. Totally healthy behavior.

I'm glad that Paxton is able to look past the fact that his mother, Alma, has chosen to assume the form of a pre-teen girl. Coming to grips with having a parent who looks as young or younger than you can be difficult -- just ask the Presleys or the Rivers!

Thankfully, he can accept Alma just the way she is, as a psychokinetic murderess.

At the end of Metroid II, Samus was moments away from eradicating the Metroid infestation once and for all. There was just one infant left, and... D'AWWWWW! It thinks Samus is its mommy! How sweet!

Doesn't this remind you of those stories where, like, a kitten is raised by a dog? Or the movie Babe? Cross-species adoption is a special thing indeed.

Oh, what selfless devotion! The baby Metroid sacrifices itself to grant Samus a shot at defeating Mother Brain in Super Metroid. And if that wasn't enough to bring a tear to your eye, the baby's cells are used to save Samus's life a second time in Metroid Fusion. Even in death, this wonderful creature is looking after its mama's well-being!

Zell Dincht tries to act all cool and macho -- he shadow boxes in public and has a Mike Tyson tribal tattoo on his face. But everyone knows that he's mommy's ball of sunshine. She even printed his portrait on a playing card!

Zell may have been adopted, but that doesn't change how much he loves and cares for his mother. Some kids leave home to explore the world and never look back, but Ma Dincht knows that little Zell will always need a home to return to. That's why she makes sure his room is always super tidy -- you never know when he'll make a surprise visit!

Being Italian, Ezio is a mama's boy by default. It's like a Renaissance version of Everybody Loves Raymond, only not in the slightest.

After witnessing the wrongful executions of his father and brothers, he helps his mother and sister escape to their villa. Unfortunately, mama loses the will to speak, and this distresses little Ezio. He has to cheer her up somehow!

So in between assassination missions, Ezio scours the city to collect feathers that remind his mother of one of her departed sons, Petruccio. Waste of time? Sure, if you're a heartless monster. Any loving child would go to the ends of the earth if it means hearing mama's sweet voice again.

Servbots are short, yellow robots that look like Lego minifigs and pilot massive death mechs. Aren't they just the most adorable things EVER!?

Built by the air pirate Tron Bonne, these 40 (or is it 41?) munchkins assist her and the rest of the Bonne family in managing the ship and completing various other pirate-y tasks. The Servbots behave more like children than robots and are always getting scolded by their creator.

But that's okay! They are tough little workers and will do just about anything for "Miss Trooooooon!" That includes inviting Mega Man to become an honorary Servbot so that he and Tron can hook up!

Little matchmakers! Too cute!

In his father's absence, Hawke has to man up and become his family's caretaker. When he and his family take refuge in the city of Kirkwall, he has nothing to his name. However, he wants to make sure that his mother, Leandra, lives in the comfort she deserves, so he makes a name for himself and amasses a vast fortune.

Would you let your mama live in a dump? I don't think so!

That's why it's so heartbreaking when the necromancer Quentin plays taxidermist with Leandra's body in order to "rebuild" his dead wife. Hawke really doesn't get a break at any point in the game, actually. All he wanted to do was make his mommy happy!

Well, err... Lucca is a tomboy, so technically she is a...

No, you know what? Metroids are genderless, so I'm putting a girl on this list! I make up the rules!

She deserves to be on this list because of how big an impact her mother had on her becoming an inventor. As a child, Lucca witnessed a horrible mechanical accident that cost her mother's legs, and she vowed to study science so that nothing like that ever happened again.

One day she discovers a time portal back to that tragic event, giving her the chance to rewrite history for the better. I think I'll let Chad's wonderful Memory Card on the subject tell the rest.

The Lumas are those bubbly little star-shaped critters scattered across space that help Mario on his quest. They are just babies, though, and will one day become great big stars and galaxies. Until that time, they are under the protection and guidance of mama Rosalina.

They love their mama! She built them a home! She reads them bedtime stories! They'll gladly relinquish their self-awareness to become planets and other tools for Mario's benefit if it'll make Rosalina happy!

...

Come to think of it, that's kinda twisted.

Mamma is a giant man baby whose name is also the only word he can say. Need I say more?

-----

One of the most remarkable things I learned when compiling this list was just how many game characters have adoptive mothers but love 'em all the same. As long as the care and acceptance is there, it makes no difference who your family is. I really dig that message!

Are there any other good examples of mama's boys (or girls) in videogames that I failed to mention here? Drop some names in the comments if you want!

Don't forget to give your own mothers big hugs and kisses tomorrow!



Tony Ponce, Contributor
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