Burn it all to the ground.
I'm making guacamole.
Here's last week's post. Let's begin anew.
[We post a lot of articles here at Destructoid. The endless, ouroboros news cycle has us burning the snake at both ends, which will ultimately push big news, thoughtful original pieces, and all sorts of other great content off of the front page. Check here every Saturday for my attempt to rectify that.]
Hope you're not working this weekend because this post is not safe for such an environment. I mean, it doesn't get that bad, you'll think, and then you read Brittany Vincent's erotic fan-fiction and need a shower. But keep on going until the end and read mine. Because I don't know if anyone made it that far.
It's Sonic's 23rd birthday, and we couldn't let his big day go by unnoticed. We wanted to celebrate by paying tribute to the legendary hedgehog. A really hot, steamy, sexy, erotic tribute.
In case that last sentence wasn't indication enough, this post isn't exactly family friendly. So, not safe for work content to follow. You've been warned. Enjoy.
Here's a new, occasional feature from Bill Platt where he talks to his young daughter about videogames and she makes more thoughtful points than 99% of people yelling about videogames on the internet. Not even one critique of the frame rate.
Today, we will be talking about Tomodachi Life, since that seems to be the hot game at the moment. I will ask Kaitlyn a series of questions regarding the game, such as how it looks, how it plays, and overall fun factor. I will then, in turn, reveal her thoughts to the world, as close to verbatim as possible.
Just Saiyan: The Advanced Adventure Saga! Part Two - Bill Zoeker
Those darn dogs! We're playing Dragon Ball: Advanced Adventure for the GBA again. We broach a lot of subjects this time around; from Mr. Popo's endless power, to King Furry's dark secret, to the reason for the Senzu Bean shortage.
Hardline 24: Mirror's Edge 2's combat, supporting Bad Company, and Sonic fandom - Jordan Devore, Steven Hansen, Hamza Aziz, Brett Makedonski
This is what happens when there isn't much news to dig into in the weeks following E3.
I tried to talk with Steven, Brett, and Hamza about a few of the silly EA stories that made the rounds earlier this week -- Mirror's Edge 2 focusing on refining first-person combat, DICE not entirely knowing what made Battlefield: Bad Company 2 special -- but we had vorarephilia on our minds.
If you don't know what that is, as I didn't prior to a couple days ago, that's probably for the best.
I think the one only downside to The Legend of Korra game is that it's going to be four hours long for an average playthrough. Of course you can do replays and go for 100% completion, but as a giant fan of the cartoon series, I wish there was going to be more. Otherwise, like I said before, think of this as a self-contained episode. It's not going to outstay its welcome, and it's a solid deal when you also factor in that this will be $14.99 when it comes out.
Dying Light is less about zombies and more about movement - Brett Makedonski
It's fitting that Dying Light is about movement, because it's by far what it does the best. At times, it's unclear how substantial your objective is, just that you're moving toward something. Maybe the objective is only to survive. That'd make sense. For all the zombie material that focuses on attacking the undead, it's an unwise approach. Much smarter would be running, jumping, and climbing to get as far away from them as possible. Dying Light ensures you'll do plenty of that.
HOTTEST, SLIMIEST NEWS OF THE WEEK
In a lovingly overproduced developer diary, a couple of Sledgehammer bros ran down the exciting new gear in Call of Duty: Advanced Warfare, including this year's "game-changer," the exo-skeleton, and hyped some of their other groundbreaking innovations such as... as laser. If nothing else, there was an opening for a Mountain Dew joke.
Video: Japan's new Godzilla game looks a bit rough - Max Scoville
The King of The Monsters is stomping his big dumb lizard feet all over the Playstation 3 this winter, but only in Japan. Bandai Namco hasn't really given us much else to go on for this game. Will it come out in the west? No idea, but the recent Godzilla movie from Legendary Pictures did pretty well, so who knows.
Dear god! The Deer God is on Kickstarter with 3D pixel art - Steven Hansen
"The Deer God is a breathtaking 3D pixel art game that will challenge your religion and your platforming skills," the Kickstarter page reads. Challenge well accepted. I am incredibly good at both platformers and religion. I can't tell you how many tasteless crackers and extra lengthy swigs of Christ wine I've eaten and drunk.
[*].disqus.comto your security software's whitelist.