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The battered wives of the gaming world photo

You don't have to be gifted with heightened perception to realize that we, the gaming consumers, are little more than bodies to be harvested by videogame publishers. We are neither liked nor respected, yet we remain as loyal and subservient to our game supplying masters as ever, nothing but trained Labradors at a Dog Show. Only with slightly less power. 

Publishers know that they can do whatever they like and we will allow them to get away with it, either through a lack of willpower or the general apathy that seems to surround the gamer demographics. We take whatever they dish out because we know no other course, thus publishers will continue to do as they please with little retaliation.

But even among we wretched souls, there are those that sink even lower. While many may kick their heels and sometimes attempt to resist, there are those in the gamer demographic so beaten down, so drained of will, that they are little more than battered wives. Their tormentors have taken absolute liberties, yet these miserable creatures continue to enable the transgressions, supporting their own downfall. They are indeed the battered wives of the gaming world, so read on to find out who they are. Oh, and ignore any black eyes, they just walked into a door ...

MMO Players:

We all know that videogames are expensive, and publishers will do whatever they can to squeeze as much cash from their consumers as possible. However, there is no gamer more fleeced than an MMO gamer. Be it World of Warcraft, Everquest, or one of the many millions of games that have tried to capitalize since, an MMO is for life, not just for Christmas -- especially where one's wallet is concerned.

You pay full price just for the privilege of owning an MMO, before being expected to pay further increments to be able to play it. To put it in perspective, it's like paying $5.00 for a hamburger, then paying $1.00 for every bite you take. 

It's true of course, that you are also continuing to pay for a service that is being maintained, but MMO developers won't leave it there. They are insidious, tempting players to stay with extra treats and highly addictive gameplay. We've all seen how, in extreme conditions, MMO players can become slaves to Blizzard and others of their ilk. Like drug dealers, they draw you in with a free hit, encouraging you to get deeper and deeper until you're hooked, before hitting you with the cost. By that time, you're already theirs, and they can do with you as they please. You know you need to get out, but you're already trapped. You look for an escape, you ween yourself off, you even go cold turkey ...

And then they hit you with an expansion pack.

Xbox 360 owners:

I don't think any console has been the source of more bullshit this generation than the Xbox 360. Before the 360 came along, console gaming was simple. You put a disc in your machine, picked up a controller, and played. Then Microsoft kicked the doors in and ruined everything with costly online subscriptions, overly complex licensing issues, inconvenient offline multiplayer and, of course, some of the most rancid and pathetic hardware on the market.

For a console with so many issues, you'd think their customer service would be efficient and helpful, but no. Many reports of ineptitude and outright rudeness infest the Internet, to which I can lend my own experience of sarcastic and clueless representatives.

Then there is the famous "red ring of death." A fitting name, as just like death itself, it is something that comes to us all with no chance of escape. The famous red lights that signify the death of an Xbox is something that has become an inevitability for all Xbox customers, to the point where many gamers fear turning their machines on. Not even the PlayStation 2, with its well-known problems, made people afraid to even use it.

The 360 has, in many ways, wrecked the console gaming experience for many people. Sowing fear and causing huge regular inconvenience, it is the antithesis of everything a console should be. However, we let Microsoft get off the hook time and time again, when any sensible consumer would have abandoned such garbage long ago. Unfortunately, Microsoft has a lot of videogames to its name, despite having a console that struggles to play them.  

Thus we will just keep replacing our electronic sarcophagi and MS can claim it "shipped another console" on reports.

Sonic fans:

No mascot is more tragic than Sonic the Hedgehog. Once he commanded the loyalty and respect of millions of gamers everywhere, now he has only the confused, the psychotic and the embittered defending his name. Unfortunately, I count myself among their diseased ranks, making your humble author no better than anybody else on this list. 

Sonic fans are simply incredible with their willingness to invest hope in every new Sonic game that comes along, even though Sonic Team proves time and time again that it actually doesn't know how to make a good videogame. The problem is impacted by the fact that Sonic Team is as good at creating trailers as it is bad at creating games. This is the team that was able to make Shadow the Hedgehog look like a good videogame. That's impressive. 

Unfortunately, it's enough to dupe hundreds of saps into believing that each new Sonic game will be the one that is a "return to form" for Sega's ailing hedgehog. With each attempt to bring Sonic kicking and screaming into relevance, his loyal followers ignite false hope and become certain that this time their vigil will be rewarded. This time, the hedgehog is back. But it doesn't happen. And Sonic fans have only themselves to blame.

"Core" Wii owners:

It's one thing to be taken advantage of. It's quite another to be taken advantage of and then laughed at. However, this is something that happens to old school Nintendo fans on a regular basis, thanks to Nintendo of America being run by a bunch of dicks.

NoA continues to string along its loyal fanbase, despite the fact that everybody knows they care more about soccer moms and pensioners. Nintendo has a new, far more lucrative demographic and that's fine -- what's slightly less fine is the fact that they persist in playing with the minds of the ones they left behind. Whether it's Shigeru Miyamoto trying to convince us that Wii Music and Wii Fit are videogames, or the endless promises that "core" games are in the works, NoA won't simply admit that they're seeing someone else and would rather break things off.

As if that wasn't bad enough, Nintendo has been downright insulting to its fans, quite publicly laughing at those who supported the company back when it was an industry joke. Reggie Fils-Aime is the worst offender, practically baiting people with accusations of "insatiability" among the hardcore demographic, or insisting that we should have been satisfied with the announcement of Animal Crossing: City Folk at the 2008 E3 press conference.

Oh and let's not forget, only "geeks and Otaku" care about a hard-drive for the Wii. 

I believe that Nintendo of Japan has its head screwed on and is actually good to its fans, but Nintendo of America has been disrespectful and patronizing for the past year. Unfortunately, Nintendo loyalists lap it up and still defend their masters, despite the fact they are being laughed at and painted as little more than insignificant relics. 

PAL gamers: 

Europe and Australia have to put up with a lot of crap. A lot of crap. Back before the Internet, we never really noticed quite how badly we got shafted, but as the World Wide Web turns every industry into a global market, we get to see quite blatantly what an afterthought the PAL region is to many publishers. 

Admittedly, it's gotten better. Most of the good games this generation have come from Western developers, who are actually competent when it comes to worldwide launches. However, Japanese publishers can be absolutely horrible when it comes to releasing games in Europe and Australia, and then they have the gall to try and fight imports.

Some of the waiting times are absolutely ludicrous, ranging anywhere from a month to a year for a game to launch. In the case of the original Animal Crossing, Nintendo sat on its arse for two years before allowing Europe the honor of purchasing the GameCube game.

Then there's the price. Due to both taxes and a sneaky mark up on the part of the publisher, we are expected to pay far more after waiting a lot longer. In the case of one game, shockingly not from Japan, we not only waited almost a year from release, but were expected to pay almost as much as a Wii for the bloody thing. That game was, of course, Rock Band.

Yet people paid. Not only did they pay, they were thrilled to do so. I had arguments with people who were getting giddy over the release of an inexcusably late, unbelievably expensive Rock Band. PAL gamers accept so much shit and seem more than happy to pay through the nose for their trouble.  

And that's the problem, not just with European gamers, or even the others on this list, but with all of us. We're marks, plain and simple. We're served steaming dollops of creamy shit and we merrily gulp it down with the biggest spoon we can find. The only way it will change is if we vote with our wallets and stop justifying publishers, but that will never happen. We are too weak for that.

There is no happy message here. You're fucked, and so am I.


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51 comments | showing # 1 to 50

Zombutler's Avatar
Zombutler at 10/29/2008 15:22
OMG SAYID!!!!!
dronkmunk's Avatar
dronkmunk at 10/29/2008 15:27
tl; dr

HOWEVER, it was pretty clever and well thought-out from what I could tell.

Kudos.
falinter's Avatar
falinter at 10/29/2008 15:27
Agreed.

With everything.
Jonathan Holmes's Avatar
Jonathan Holmes at 10/29/2008 15:33
BRILLIANT.
Oolong's Avatar
Oolong at 10/29/2008 15:36
I love that film. Makes me baaaawww... ;(
Wedge's Avatar
Wedge at 10/29/2008 15:39
You forgot PC gamers that have to deal with half-assed, dumbed-down, months late ports, laden with DRM, and then the developers bitching about how their game doesn't sell and just get's pirated, which was the reason (they say) they put DRM on it in the first place? THANKS CIRCULAR LOGIC.
J03yyz's Avatar
J03yyz at 10/29/2008 15:41
give this man the nobel prize
Person of Lordly Caliber's Avatar
Person of Lordly Caliber at 10/29/2008 15:41
And then we tell gamers about publishers like Atlus, XSEED, Marvelous, and Nippon Ichi. We tell them about how they take chances, listen to their customers, and release games other companies refuse to believe in. We prove that gaming can still be original and that the gamer is not the lowest common denominator.
We fight back. And that's what scares them into making games we wanted all along. Then everybody wins.
Neonie's Avatar
Neonie at 10/29/2008 15:44
"We're served steaming dollops of creamy shit and we merrily gulp it down with the biggest spoon we can find."

Delightfully disgusting.
Audiohol 4m33s's Avatar
Audiohol 4m33s at 10/29/2008 15:44
B...b...but they only do it because they love me. It's my fault as a gamer for demanding so much more from them. Besides, they swore it was an accident and promised to make it up to me with brand new games.

Oh, my console? I, uh...I tripped over it.
casualweaponry's Avatar
casualweaponry at 10/29/2008 15:44
Don't forget Day One server problems.

I love how game companies will have these exclusive betas and on release day the servers are absolute shit.

Was the beta used to build hype instead of stress test the servers? In the case of LittleBigPlanet and Socom:Confrontation the answer is yes apparently.
Xhumation's Avatar
Xhumation at 10/29/2008 15:45
That's true but..can I add one more category.

Sports gamers.

I had a hard time quitting sports games because they always have some nagging issue and you buy the game and say "maybe they'll fix it next year" and they never do, so you just keep buying a sub-par product for years.

and this goes for everyone from Madden to the WWE games (not a real sport I know, but the principle is the same)
gamadaya's Avatar
gamadaya at 10/29/2008 15:48
I'm a core Wii player, and I'm feeling good. The Wii's price is shooting up in value, so by Christmas, I'll be able to sell it and buy a PS3 + games.
killias2's Avatar
killias2 at 10/29/2008 15:52
haha, I agree with everything here.. but what about the lack of games on the PSP and PS3? Sony was supposed to be the master of console gaming coming into this and extend that realm into handheld gaming.. that hasn't exactly happened.
Dexter345's Avatar
Dexter345 at 10/29/2008 15:54
I'm a battered wife on two counts. =(
Rockvillian's Avatar
Rockvillian at 10/29/2008 15:54
Bravo Jim.

Here's some optimism for everyone though:

PC hardware is cheap now!
John B's Avatar
John B at 10/29/2008 15:55
What Wedge said. PC gamers are routinely abused.

It's absolutely staggering how many people bitched about the DRM on Spore but then said that they would gladly wait in line to buy Dead Space and then went on bitching about "Your not buying isn't going to change a thing! You're just depriving yourself of a great game!" What a bunch if fscking tools.
nukka jdav's Avatar
nukka jdav at 10/29/2008 15:56
God being a European would blow.

At least ladies would be wooable.
bart999's Avatar
bart999 at 10/29/2008 15:57
Great article. One of the few good things about sharing a border with the USA is that we get all the releases on launch days in Canada. Hmmm, maybe Steam is onto something?

And yeah, NoA, and Reggie can burn in a fiery eternal hell for their bullshit. As a nintendo fan I don't give a shit about graphics, but I do care about the best games, and they used to be on the NES, SNES, and N-64. Thank Christ for Metroid Prime 3, and No More Heroes.
junglistgamer's Avatar
junglistgamer at 10/29/2008 16:02
I definitely agree with the stuff about MMOs in particular, on a couple of occasions i tried to get into WoW and it's not a fucking game, it's a sick behaviourist experiment. It takes zero skill and infinite time to become 'good' at WoW, never at any point behaving like something thats actually fun to play. Eventually the poor fucks that play it start to feel like they're part of a 'community' that 'needs them' for raids, quests etc etc when as jim rightly points out, they are just a cash cow eager for milking.

Right on brother!
Jellybean Quisling Man-cheese  XII's Avatar
Jellybean Quisling Man-cheese XII at 10/29/2008 16:16
Oh that's kinda sad that I fall under all those categories
(except Sonic which needs to be killed with fire)

HE'S GONNA SHOVE BAMBOO UNDER HER FINGERNAILS!
teach4food's Avatar
teach4food at 10/29/2008 16:18
Nice article. I still ask myself the why of my Wii everyday.
Milkman519's Avatar
Milkman519 at 10/29/2008 16:25
You know, Jim, 75% of the time, I think you're a giant douchebag. But the other 25%, you're fucking awesome. This falls into that 25% area.
Foe's Avatar
Foe at 10/29/2008 16:33
This is RIGHT on the money. Especially that part about the Xbox 360. I've already been the victim of the RRoD once and now every time my Xbox sounds a little weird I actually get anxious. Thanks Microsoft! Like I wasn't stressed out enough already.

AND THE WII! I'll defend the thought put into the hardware and making games that my mom can enjoy but for FUCKS SAKE! Do not tell me that Animal Crossing is a core game! I've played core games sir, and that is not one of them.
ASS HATS down to the very last one.
DreRox's Avatar
DreRox at 10/29/2008 16:37
The Wii "Core" Fans section is a bit of a stretch. Nintendo has released Mario Kart, Galaxy, Brawl, Twilight Princess, Metroid in the first two years of Wii's life cycle all the while working on numerous products for the DS. The memory space is an issue, that's for sure but I still can't help the feeling that Reggie wasn't overdoing it much when he called the hardcore fans insatiable.
The-Excel's Avatar
The-Excel at 10/29/2008 16:45
You would pay £3.05 for a hamburger?
akathatoneguy's Avatar
akathatoneguy at 10/29/2008 16:57
Gamers as a whole and especially at this site (I don't read many others, so I can't speak for them) are way too hung up on developers: which ones are good or "evil", etc., etc. Why do we act as if this is something that has to do with games in specific and not just business in general?

Every large company has a bunch of greedy ass, morally bankrupt dickwads heading things up, if you look high enough in the corporate ladder. This is not just a video game publisher thing. It's a record company thing, it's a politics thing, it's a retail store chain thing, it's a business thing. You don't have to be a gamer to be a "battered wife" to greedy corporations; you just have to be a consumer. Or really, a human being.

There are a lot worse things that many corporations are doing than whoring out a hallowed, respected IP or overcharging for DLC that should be on a disc. Let's have a little perspective, here. If EA or even Microsoft is supposed to be a symbol of corporate evil, you guys must not be familiar with Wal-Mart.
boxmyth's Avatar
boxmyth at 10/29/2008 17:01
I fall into three of these catagories: 360 owner (on my 4th), Sonic fan (former anyway), and Core Wii owner (I don't even bother with it anymore).
Those are three damn good reasons I consider myself a proud PS3 fanboy nowadays. Good writeup.
Zombutler's Avatar
Zombutler at 10/29/2008 17:08
I am genuinely surprised that out of all these comments, ONE(1) person understood my first comment.
smurfee mcgee's Avatar
smurfee mcgee at 10/29/2008 17:20
I don't think it that "core Wii" owners are insatiable; but rather they have to sift through a pile of shit to find a gem. Fucking needle in a haystack.

The Wii has some great games, and I am going to get the new Animal Crossing. A game doesn't have to be a Mario or Zelda game to be great; that isn't what makes them great. I don't care who made it or who's in it as long as it's good.

I think some Wii owners feel neglected because they see all of these "casual" games and others that sell well but suck. There is a lot. I sometimes think, "Why can't they put out less titles with better quality?" Instead Nintendo sees a little gimmick, and makes a whole game of it. I just see all of these one-A titles get all of the attention, then feel like a douche just for owning a Wii.
Thank god for the VC. But that stuff was already good.

It's a good thing I own a 360; it fills the time in between good Wii games.
exodus1925's Avatar
exodus1925 at 10/29/2008 17:42
I agree with most said, however I wouldn't call £40 for a year a "costly online subscription". That's really not that bad.
Sam Spectre's Avatar
Sam Spectre at 10/29/2008 17:43
Fantastic article Jim. Stuff like this is the reason I read Destructoid daily.
Mikular's Avatar
Mikular at 10/29/2008 18:05
Awesome article Jim. Features on this site, mainly your own, are one of the only reasons I read this site so often, and listen to Podcastle. I'm sorry to say I fit into 2 of your categories (Xbox 360 owners and PAL gamers) and I totally agree with everything you've said here, specifically the outrageous piece of crap that is Rock Band. They pay $180, we pay £170. It's a total injustice. Thanks for the enlightening read, look forward to more.
Citizen Erased's Avatar
Citizen Erased at 10/29/2008 18:30
Good article.
I'm definitely a battered UK gamer...we've been getting pissed all over for years...it's ridiculous.
And I'm one of those asshats that lapped up Rock Band the day it came out...2 times more expensive than it should have been and a year late.
That said it's a great game...I couldn't pass it up...I'm not gonna deprive myself just because I'm getting raped by companies...I'm not strong-willed enough for that!
At least Rock band 2 is coming out on the 21st of Novemeber...but still...

Super Smash Bros. Brawl was terrible as well...What was it?...6 months?
Pathetic...and we didn't get anything new either.
Face's Avatar
Face at 10/29/2008 18:32
Jim you are clearly a pro-american PS3 fanboy who is also fat. I can tell from the words used in this here article.
Kyousuke Nanbu's Avatar
Kyousuke Nanbu at 10/29/2008 19:38
The Wii thing is spot on.
lem's Avatar
lem at 10/29/2008 19:52
I just can't justify picking up Rock Band now it's coming out. You could get someone killed for that kinda money.
ChildOfLore's Avatar
ChildOfLore at 10/29/2008 21:06
w00t! Go Jim! Fellow PAL gamers unite!
Resident Evil 4: Wii Edition is the only good Wii game I've seen, anyone knows another one then tell me.
Ninjasnake's Avatar
Ninjasnake at 10/30/2008 00:20
That tooth wasn't their in the first place!
lastSKYsamurai's Avatar
lastSKYsamurai at 10/30/2008 04:29
Jim, you could power all my consoles just by standing in my room, you'r that awesome!
solojon's Avatar
solojon at 10/30/2008 06:47
RedRabbit at 10/29/2008 17:08

I am genuinely surprised that out of all these comments, ONE
I got you man, Sayid(Naveen Andrews) is awesome.
SWE3tMadness's Avatar
SWE3tMadness at 10/30/2008 08:05
Core Wii gamer here.

We're...taking a break from each other to reevaluate our relationship. >.>
garison's Avatar
garison at 10/30/2008 09:14
The Wii was the first current gen console that I bought, but after the shit load of shit games came out, I bought a 360, then a PS3, and I haven't even turned on my Wii in about a month. (except for the few good wii ware and VC games).

It frustrates me how SOOOO much great games are coming out on the 360 and PS3 this holiday, and absolutely nothing for the Wii.

Probably the next Wii game for me is The Conduit. And that is due in mid '09.
Holyetheline's Avatar
Holyetheline at 10/30/2008 12:39
So true it makes me cry.
Jinky Williams's Avatar
Jinky Williams at 10/30/2008 18:25
Man.
4knuckleshuffle's Avatar
4knuckleshuffle at 10/30/2008 20:13
I-I should have liked Mario 64 more. It's all my fault that the Wii doesn't have as many core gamers as I'd like.
JT706's Avatar
JT706 at 10/30/2008 21:13
Part of the joy of the Mother 3 translation is that we're all now playing it in total spite of NoA. Maybe if there were a way to put waggle in it...
Drach's Avatar
Drach at 10/31/2008 05:43
Wonderful article, Jim.I've voted with my wallet in not buying a Wii until the damn price comes down! this system is almost 3 years old and it's still full price... not only that but "we can't make the demand this holiday season"? Bullshit, nintendo. you now there's a high demand already and you corner the market by not making enough units. You did this back when you made cartridges that cost you about 2$ to make, you don't ship enough, then everyone wants one. Simple supply and demand trick. Starve the market until they'll pay any price just to SEE the damn game. (Remembering trying to find a copy of Zelda 2 The adventure of link as a kid)

And don't get me started on Reggis "Fuls-of-Shit" every time I see that pretentious ass I want to just smack him with a wiimote. He's always so damn condescending to whoever he talks to.
OhJAM's Avatar
OhJAM at 10/31/2008 11:48
Jim, if you ever take a trip to America and chance upon visiting Florida, send me a PM telling me so. I owe you more than a few beers for this article alone.
The Amazing Shenazin's Avatar
The Amazing Shenazin at 11/17/2008 00:39
it's just so bizarre how Nintendo has evolved over the years, I mean did they forget that they were well in LAST place in the last generation and yet they fuck over all the people that stuck with them?
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