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The award for the worst controller design goes to ... the USB Dragon Dual Shock photo

There are a lot of options out there if you’re in the market for a third-party controller. The first thing that I tend to look at is the price in relation to the first-party stuff. Although the vast majority of us think cost, there is apparently a market for people that want just a tad bit more out of their controller. These guys want savings...and dragons.

Introducing the most wretched controller ever created, the USB Dragon Dual Shock Scary GamePad. This controller has it all for the dragon enthusiast in your family. It’s has a brilliant paint job, eyes that illuminate during play, and a very pronounced dragon head sticking out of the top. In addition to how sharp the head looks, it can also double as a holding device. If you’re too busy to eat potato chips while mashing on Fusion Frenzy 2, the dragon’s mouth can hold some until you win the match.

Honestly, I really want to meet the guy that will buy this controller. I want to look him in the eye, shake his hand, and walk off into the sunset. Because that guy has to be the coolest person to ever grace this planet.

[via teamteabag -- Thanks, Chelsea!]








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54 comments | showing # 1 to 50
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next 50 comments

Brad Nicholson's Avatar - Comment posted on 09/06/2008 15:51
Brad Nicholson
@DanGale - Too afraid to confirm. Sorry.
Jakysan's Avatar - Comment posted on 09/06/2008 15:54
Jakysan
I'm heading to gamestop at this moment. DRAGONCONTROLLER GET!
eternalplayer2345's Avatar - Comment posted on 09/06/2008 15:55
eternalplayer2345
This seems what you would want if they only people you game with play halo/COD4. "Wanna play halo?" "sure you can use my new controller"
nintendoll's Avatar - Comment posted on 09/06/2008 15:56
nintendoll
ROOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOAR!

That's what I would do, all the time, if I owned this controller.
Mushman's Avatar - Comment posted on 09/06/2008 15:57
Mushman
Talk about hand rape, sweet Jesus that looks uncomfortable.
Red TheHaze Veron's Avatar - Comment posted on 09/06/2008 16:01
Red TheHaze Veron
i bet even this controller has a better D-Pad than the official 360 controller.
Daxelman's Avatar - Comment posted on 09/06/2008 16:05
Daxelman
Great Design. Amazing Workmanship.

Horrible Functionality.


Verdict: GET IT ANYWAYS. YOU MUST FUCKING HAVE THIS.
IT'S BETTER THAN BANANAS!
Blind assassin's Avatar - Comment posted on 09/06/2008 16:05
Blind assassin
As we all know, dragons logically follow evolution so they would be able to wield metal.
Infinite Obscurity's Avatar - Comment posted on 09/06/2008 16:05
Infinite Obscurity
Best controller evar.
mix's Avatar - Comment posted on 09/06/2008 16:11
mix
Slap that bad boy design onto a guitar hero controller and we'll talk business.
Sharpless's Avatar - Comment posted on 09/06/2008 16:15
Sharpless
I don't know. There's a part of me that wants to go "OMG AWESOME!" but my sense of dignity and good taste just won't let it. Looks a bit too much like the original Xbox's first controller, thickness-wise...
Electro Lemon's Avatar - Comment posted on 09/06/2008 16:17
Electro Lemon
Jesus H. Christ, that looks abysmal.
HairyMike87's Avatar - Comment posted on 09/06/2008 16:19
HairyMike87
Wouldn't that scare kids?
bahss's Avatar - Comment posted on 09/06/2008 16:21
bahss
Jesus God.
Emrah's Avatar - Comment posted on 09/06/2008 16:23
Emrah
Does the tail extend to a usb cable? That'd be nice :)
Wexx's Avatar - Comment posted on 09/06/2008 16:24
Wexx
DO WANT
ghets's Avatar - Comment posted on 09/06/2008 16:24
ghets
HAAHAHAHA! I would totally buy that.
Luigi takes over's Avatar - Comment posted on 09/06/2008 16:28
Luigi takes over
Its really not that bad, what's worse is the Original XBOX controller designed to look like a pair of guns.
-PL-'s Avatar - Comment posted on 09/06/2008 16:37
-PL-
The layout isn't terrible, it just seems like it would be uncomfortable to hold with all those jagged surfaces and whatnot.
Edarios's Avatar - Comment posted on 09/06/2008 16:46
Edarios
i could see someone really into power metal buying this and playing age of conan or something...the kind of person who has medieval swords on their wall..
A New Challenger's Avatar - Comment posted on 09/06/2008 16:48
A New Challenger
I play with one of these while powergaming in my wolf shirt.
Chicken008's Avatar - Comment posted on 09/06/2008 16:48
Chicken008
That dragon is quite rotund.
Darren Nakamura's Avatar - Comment posted on 09/06/2008 16:55
Darren Nakamura
...It's an XBox 1 controller called a Dual Shock? I am confused.
STUVNING's Avatar - Comment posted on 09/06/2008 17:07
STUVNING

BLAAARGGH
Paustinj's Avatar - Comment posted on 09/06/2008 17:08
Paustinj
I think I just threw up in my mouth a little.
Ogu's Avatar - Comment posted on 09/06/2008 17:11
Ogu
this is an awesome controller, you forgot to mention you can load it with gasoline and it actually spits fire when it rumbles.

No stuvning's controller... that's a bad design.
DJDuffy 's Avatar - Comment posted on 09/06/2008 17:24
DJDuffy
This is just amazing. I hope the mouth spits out green acid...mmmmmm...acid >_<
Daxelman's Avatar - Comment posted on 09/06/2008 17:49
Daxelman
GOOD JESUS STUNVNING.

How the hell do you even hold that?
TrailerParkJesus's Avatar - Comment posted on 09/06/2008 17:52
TrailerParkJesus
Beautiful atrocity.
SourGr8pes's Avatar - Comment posted on 09/06/2008 17:56
SourGr8pes
This dragon needs a speaker in its mouth that plays Iron Maiden while I use it. Then, it will be some AAA material.
Aaron Mxy Yost's Avatar - Comment posted on 09/06/2008 18:06
Aaron Mxy Yost
And the Trogdor comes in the NIIIIGHT!!!
Blind assassin's Avatar - Comment posted on 09/06/2008 18:08
Blind assassin
I think that the RE4 gamecube controller ultimately wins out in the "design over functionality" field. THe thing was just totally absurd in every possible way.
ninjikiran's Avatar - Comment posted on 09/06/2008 18:09
ninjikiran
I want the ninja version!
nintendoll's Avatar - Comment posted on 09/06/2008 18:14
nintendoll
This controller is good for when you have a friend that plays like an asshole. You have a controller that is substantially larger and more pointy to throw at his face.
twentythoughts's Avatar - Comment posted on 09/06/2008 18:47
twentythoughts
... Wow. That looks... Well, actually, not quite as bad functionality-wise as the Dragon Quest 8 "Slime" controller. I bought it, and it looks sweet, but man is it hard to use.
rallyf1's Avatar - Comment posted on 09/06/2008 18:50
rallyf1
http://www.dealextreme.com/details.dx/sku.4998
Fury-Genesis's Avatar - Comment posted on 09/06/2008 18:56
Fury-Genesis
Well the first thing that strikes me in terms of design is that the tale would totally poke me in the balls.
Fury-Genesis's Avatar - Comment posted on 09/06/2008 18:56
Fury-Genesis
*tail.

Dammit.
dephect's Avatar - Comment posted on 09/06/2008 19:34
dephect
Why is an xbox controller called a dual shock!?
randombullseye's Avatar - Comment posted on 09/06/2008 20:50
randombullseye
I've seen some shitty controllers in my day but this dragon thing is by far the worst.
Teta's Avatar - Comment posted on 09/06/2008 20:59
Teta
And I thought the NES controller was the only that hurt my hand from only watching it.
Slick Icarus's Avatar - Comment posted on 09/06/2008 21:20
Slick Icarus
So bad it's good...
RaidenMGS2's Avatar - Comment posted on 09/06/2008 21:25
RaidenMGS2
Wow that contorler is AWSOME, but the the tail would just stab you in the gut in a horribly painful way
Intruder's Avatar - Comment posted on 09/06/2008 22:24
Intruder
I swear I saw this in a GameInformer like 2 years ago.
ace of knaves's Avatar - Comment posted on 09/06/2008 23:14
ace of knaves
That is the best...*sees Stuvning's pic*...that is the second best controller I've ever seen.
CrocBox's Avatar - Comment posted on 09/06/2008 23:26
CrocBox
Somebody just please put this abomination out of it's misery.
Too Much Coffee Man's Avatar - Comment posted on 09/06/2008 23:49
Too Much Coffee Man
i'm confused. it's called a dual shock 2 which is a sony controller but it looks like a microsoft controller.
Justice's Avatar - Comment posted on 09/07/2008 02:24
Justice
VOM!
13thDragon's Avatar - Comment posted on 09/07/2008 06:41
13thDragon
Oh man, that is awesome. I want one now!!
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