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Teen threatens teacher with knife to buy GTA: San Andreas ... San Andreas!? photo

In a tale of what must be Massachusetts' stupidest child, it has been reported that a thirteen-year old boy pulled a knife on his teacher for enough money to buy Grand Theft Auto: San Andreas.

Police Lt. Paul Shastany says... the male student stayed behind after the other students had left the classroom, pulled the 11-inch knife and asked for $20. After [the teacher] refused, he lowered his demand to $1. The teacher took the knife from the student.

Shastany says the boy wanted to buy the video game "Grand Theft Auto: San Andreas" but his mother refused to give him the money, so he came up with an alternate plan.

Now, I know what you're all thinking. It's not "wow, this makes videogames look bad," or "wow, threatening a teach isn't very clever." You are all thinking -- WHO THE HELL THREATENS TO STAB A MAN FOR SAN ANDREAS IN THE YEAR 2008!? WHO IN THEIR RIGHT EFFING MIND WOULD BE THAT DESPERATE FOR A FOUR-YEAR OLD GAME WITH GTA IV ALREADY OUT!? IF HE ONLY HAD A PS2, WHY DIDN'T HE AT LEAST DEMAND ENOUGH MONEY FOR A CURRENT-GEN CONSOLE AS WELL!? IS HE A FOOL? IS HE A STUPID FOOL? DID A VILLAGE IDIOT MATE WITH A BLOODY CELL TO CREATE A CHILD THAT DUMB!? WHAT AN UTTER FAILURE I HOPE HE HANGS FOR THIS!

Just giving voice to what was all on our minds. Jesus Christ, what an absolute buffoon. Seriously, it's been a long time since I've heard of a criminal attempt so full of absolute fail. 


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67 comments | showing # 1 to 50

covah's Avatar - Comment posted on 05/29/2008 20:33
covah
HAHAHAHA

what a bitch. He lowered his demand to $1 and then the teacher just took the knife hahahahaha.
Mxyzptlk's Avatar - Comment posted on 05/29/2008 20:35
Mxyzptlk
I love how after the teacher refused to pay the $20, he tried to get at least a dollar out of him. Hey, if that had worked he'd only need to hit up 19 more teachers.

Next time genius, trying mowing a few lawns instead.
Shin Oni's Avatar - Comment posted on 05/29/2008 20:36
Shin Oni
guy must've been black. Only us black people who try to rob or steal do such things.

seriously though...SA? isn't that 14 bucks at Best Buy?
GrayFox's Avatar - Comment posted on 05/29/2008 20:36
GrayFox
Best story ever.
Shin Oni's Avatar - Comment posted on 05/29/2008 20:38
Shin Oni
I also thought it was dead funny on how the teacher just took the knife. Was the guy shit scared or somethin?
Miguelcar808's Avatar - Comment posted on 05/29/2008 20:39
Miguelcar808
I'll.... I'll...
Neonie's Avatar - Comment posted on 05/29/2008 20:40
Neonie
Wow ya...there are so many things that make this kid look like an idiot in this story I'm going to have to agree with your village idiot to cell theory.
Snaileb 's Avatar - Comment posted on 05/29/2008 20:44
Snaileb
So dumb....
PaperBowser0's Avatar - Comment posted on 05/29/2008 20:44
PaperBowser0
Jeez, what a fuck tard. >_>
CaptainApocalypse's Avatar - Comment posted on 05/29/2008 20:45
CaptainApocalypse
Further proof that kids are stupid.
Das Inchworm's Avatar - Comment posted on 05/29/2008 20:47
Das Inchworm
well it WAS the best GTA game....AMIRITE?!
Phoenix Gamma's Avatar - Comment posted on 05/29/2008 20:48
Phoenix Gamma
Famingham, huh? That's not far out from where I live. Maybe I'll take a drive down there and give the kid my PC copy of the game, cause I sure don't play it anymore.
4knuckleshuffle's Avatar - Comment posted on 05/29/2008 20:49
4knuckleshuffle
-TARD!
Stormin Mormon's Avatar - Comment posted on 05/29/2008 20:49
Stormin Mormon
wow, i freaking hate stupid kids like this. Its just furthur proof that annoying 13 year olds should not even play these games if they can't control themselves.
Tekoa's Avatar - Comment posted on 05/29/2008 20:49
Tekoa
wait...he did something stupid before he played the violent game? ...now I'm confused.
Triox's Avatar - Comment posted on 05/29/2008 20:49
Triox
Man, all we need now is the cctv recording showing the teacher cracking up in fits of laughter...

S: Gimmie $20!
T: No
S: Okay, gimmie $15!
T: *giggle* Still no...
S: Well, what about $10? You can give me $10 right?
T: *chortling now* Are you serious, still no...
S: Well, what about $5, you must have $5 bucks spare...
T: *laughing oenly now* sorry, but no
S: Well I have this knife, I'll sell it to you for a buck
T: Crying of laughter* How bout I just take it -yoink- before you hurt yourself...
S: Oh, okay then... Bye sir, see you tomorrow!
T: *face palms*
niacin's Avatar - Comment posted on 05/29/2008 20:50
niacin
yet nobody noticed the smart kids taking the teachers wallet whilst he was distracted by the retard with the knife.
moot button's Avatar - Comment posted on 05/29/2008 20:50
moot button
This kid should be hanging out with those fictional, credit card stealing, hooker hiring, Halo playing, Texan boys. They seem to have about the same capacity for abstract thought. HONESTLY AN 11" KNIFE?! PUDDITTINUR BUTT!!!
bleep's Avatar - Comment posted on 05/29/2008 20:55
bleep
Well JIM STERLING,
he clearly had already been playing the newest GTA long enough for his young impressionable mind to be warped irreparably. That Murder Simulator turns kids from THIS into [b]THIS[b].
PhazonYoshi's Avatar - Comment posted on 05/29/2008 20:56
PhazonYoshi
oh my god.
bleep's Avatar - Comment posted on 05/29/2008 20:56
bleep
I fail
garrfunkel's Avatar - Comment posted on 05/29/2008 20:56
garrfunkel
No amount of facepalm.jpegs will cover this one.

Miguelcar is on the right track though.
Rifter01's Avatar - Comment posted on 05/29/2008 21:01
Rifter01
WHAT WHAT .. In da butt??
AlucardX24's Avatar - Comment posted on 05/29/2008 21:02
AlucardX24
*points a gun at Sterling and forces him to buy me Starcraft Battlechest*

c wut i did thar?
Horatio Caine's Avatar - Comment posted on 05/29/2008 21:11
Horatio Caine
If he was living the good life, he would have a PS Triple or a 3-6-OH! Imagine what kind of weapon he use for GTAIV then.
Arugala9's Avatar - Comment posted on 05/29/2008 21:11
Arugala9
What a fucking idiot.
Horatio Caine's Avatar - Comment posted on 05/29/2008 21:16
Horatio Caine
The kid is living the dream.

This needs a "BUSTED!" Photoshop.
Spectral's Avatar - Comment posted on 05/29/2008 21:16
Spectral
Its just not that funny anymore
Professor Pew's Avatar - Comment posted on 05/29/2008 21:17
Professor Pew
FOOL!
DaedHead8's Avatar - Comment posted on 05/29/2008 21:25
DaedHead8
lulz
bbrigg1's Avatar - Comment posted on 05/29/2008 21:32
bbrigg1
I had that exact Structure shirt that kid has up ^ there.
MechaMonkey's Avatar - Comment posted on 05/29/2008 21:38
MechaMonkey
All I can think of is Gilbert Gottfried shouting, "YOU FOOL!", a la Hollywood Squares.
Corak's Avatar - Comment posted on 05/29/2008 21:49
Corak
"All I can think of is Gilbert Gottfried shouting, "YOU FOOL!", a la Hollywood Squares."

For you entertainment.

CypherVR's Avatar - Comment posted on 05/29/2008 21:49
CypherVR
Done.
Schmo0zle's Avatar - Comment posted on 05/29/2008 21:53
Schmo0zle
*fapfapfapfap*

That is the sound of Jack Thompson jerkin' his gerkin' every time a story like this drops.

HE LOVES THIS SHIT.
liam2015's Avatar - Comment posted on 05/29/2008 21:55
liam2015
I think the sound of our collective facepalms will be heard into the near future. So unbelievably pathetic. oh god...

@corak and mechamonkey
lol nice
CypherVR's Avatar - Comment posted on 05/29/2008 22:03
CypherVR
-UPDATE-
CypherVR's Avatar - Comment posted on 05/29/2008 22:03
CypherVR
fuck...-_-
yaisuah's Avatar - Comment posted on 05/29/2008 22:19
yaisuah
This reminded me of when I was in Gamestop last week, and this ghetto super start mom brought her 10 years or younger son in and was yelling at him the whole time to hurry up and pick a game cuz she had to go to work.
I didn't see what game the kid took up to the counter but the employee was like: "I just want to warn you this game is rated mature and has very hardcore violence and sexual themes."
The mom replied: "Oh thats nothin, he's got San Andreas."

So, Would that make her a better or worse parent then the parent of the kid in the story?
yaisuah's Avatar - Comment posted on 05/29/2008 22:22
yaisuah
-t in start
ace of knaves's Avatar - Comment posted on 05/29/2008 22:24
ace of knaves
This is insulting to criminals.
BluFire's Avatar - Comment posted on 05/29/2008 22:24
BluFire
aaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhh
Sharpless's Avatar - Comment posted on 05/29/2008 22:25
Sharpless
I think this may be a candidate for Fail of the Year. That is so amazing that he asked for $20, lowered it to freaking $1, and then the teacher took the knife from him. Perfect. I'm sure the anti-game lobby will jump on this immature kid, even though he's clearly at the bottom of the sound-judgment totem pole.
GohanGVO's Avatar - Comment posted on 05/29/2008 22:35
GohanGVO
Failboat.jpg
B-Radicate's Avatar - Comment posted on 05/29/2008 22:47
B-Radicate
He prolly wants San Andreas because it has much more gameplay depth than IV does.

Zing.
BluDesign's Avatar - Comment posted on 05/29/2008 23:29
BluDesign
You know, I'd much rather be reading this kid's myspace blog about this incident.

Can anyone care to help?
Zarathustra's Avatar - Comment posted on 05/29/2008 23:29
Zarathustra
Has anyone thought that maybe the article put in the wrong game title? I seriously doubt the kid specifically named San Andreas. He probably just said "Grand Theft Auto" and the reporter fucked it up.
mistic's Avatar - Comment posted on 05/29/2008 23:34
mistic
no words can describe the loathing I feel for that guy...
Eschatos's Avatar - Comment posted on 05/29/2008 23:37
Eschatos
Sounds like a future Darwin Awards candidate.
Atlas's Avatar - Comment posted on 05/29/2008 23:43
Atlas
Man, that kid is one rebellious son of a bitch. Fight the man!
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