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destructoid golden archives

Bowie lookalikes photo
Bowie's face is a paradox
[From our Golden Archives: here's our most popular story of the day back in 2009. -N] David Bowie, born David Robert Jones on January 8, 1947, is an English musician, actor, producer and arranger. Having been active in the en... read feature

Super Mario movie photo
Super Mario movie

Why the Super Mario movie is an underappreciated masterpiece


There used to be dinosaurs in Brooklyn
Feb 20
[Ed. note: El Great Burcho published this on February 2007. It's one of our Golden favorites.] No, I'm not being ironic, or corny, or funny. Neither am I drunk, stoned, nor under the influence of outside forces requiring me t... read
Why Penis Why photo
Why Penis Why

Save Ryu from looking generic in Street Fighter IV: A fanboy's top 10 wishes


Why Penis Why
Nov 05
Editor's note: In an internal staff email us old-timers were just laughing about the absurdity of this super fanboy article I wrote back in 2007 voicing my disgust with the redesigned Street Fighter. I've since grown accustom... read
Where are they now? photo
Where are they now?

Where are they now? Ex-Destructoid editors in the biz


Papa Niero is proud
Oct 23
As some of you may have heard by now, Dale North (our editor in chief from 2010-2014) will be moving on to sunnier, though less 'toidy skies. You can read that announcement here. It's no secret that Dale and I have definitel... read
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Golden Archives: The Destructoid children's alphabet book


Made by the Dtoid Community, March 2009
Sep 10
[Something cool we just remembered from our Golden Archives. Love this! -Niero] Last year, GuitarAtomik sang, Rio McCarthy made a bunch of awesome, Necros was racy, itemforty drew the staff, RockVillian made a prologue, Canni... read
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Destructoid Golden Classics: The Mega Man Maker


Remember this?
Aug 22
By popular request, I've dug through old hard drives and present to you Destructoid's classic Mega Man maker!  This little app was originally published during PAX 2008 during a panel we gave about how important it is to ... read
Haggar for President photo
Haggar for President

Citizens, unite: vote Mike Haggar


Ten Reasons Mike Haggar Needs to be the Next President of the United States
Apr 13
[Another gem from Destructoid's Golden Archives, this our most popular story of April 2008] As you’ve no doubt been following the prospective U.S. presidential nominees, you must be asking yourself several question... read
Everyone is gay photo
Everyone is gay
[Destructoid turns 7 next week! Here's our most popular article from January 2009, one of Jim's first features. Check out more of our earlier works in our Golden Archives. -Niero] People have been hunched over their PCs, firi... read feature

Game quotes photo
An exaggeratedly titled top ten list? On the Internet? Surely you jest!
[This month, Destructoid turns 7 years old! Here's the top article of this weekend back in 2008. You can browse more of these in our Golden Archives. Nostalgic yet? -Niero] Call me a weakling, but it's been more or less forev... read feature

Mario is sinister photo
From Dtoid's Golden Archives: Dec 19, 2006
[Destructoid turns 7 on March 16, 2013! I'm celebrating early by repairing some of my favorite articles from our Wordpress days. You'll be able to browse this original collection soon -- "Destructoid's Golden Archives" is her... read feature

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Ramblings of a colorblind gamer


Feb 10
You may or may not know that I am red-green colorblind. Money looks grey to me, pink looks white, brown looks green. No big thing. Since I was born colorblind, I have no frame of reference for how the world is "supposed" to l... read
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Videogames that make you feel godly


Jul 08
Videogames provide the perfect tools for pure escapism or utter powerlessness. As a fully interactive media, the player can be as involved as the developer in the fate of our characters, or we can be utterly impotent in swayi... read
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The REAL top ten games of the decade


Dec 05
You've doubtless read by now the "official" top ten games of the decade, or indeed any of the top ten game lists that have spilled onto the Internet as the so-called "naughties" ends and 2010 ushers in yet another arbitrarily... read
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Rev Rant: Donate


Jul 23
Every week, "Reverend" Anthony Burch talks about aspects of game design and gamer culture in his weekly "Rev Rant" video series. Admittedly, this week's rant turned out a lot more angry and weirdly serious than the other one... read
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How Killzone 2 is blatantly better than Halo 3


Mar 02
Killzone 2 launched exclusively for the PlayStation 3 this Friday, generating much bias from biased people who are biased. It also sold quite a few copies and has been setting the PlayStation Network afire with grenade spam a... read
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Playing With Others: Gaining acceptance


Jan 29
[Editor's note: neveranything shares with us a very heartwarming story on how videogames helped him make new friends for his Monthly Musing piece. -- CTZ] Throughout elementary and middle school, I was the textbook definitio... read
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The Videogame Bosses' Guide to Success


For the love of God, cover your glowing red spot!
Jan 27
So you aspire to be a roadblock in the path of every hero, a hulking shadow that ominously hangs over the hopes and dreams of normal people, the guy that makes babies squall at your very approach. I know you. You've turned ma... read
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A Time to Destroy: The games that destroy us


Some photos are disturbing. No, seriously.
Dec 25
[Editor's note: Tony Ponce, which we only knew as "megaStryke" when this was published, looks at three games that have destroyed people's bodies for his A Time to Destroy Monthly Musing. In 2012 he joined the Dtoid team as an... read
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Crono, Nei, and I
Being a gamer over 30 means that you likely fell in love with gaming a long time ago. For me, that affair started around age 6, as my uncle showed me the Atari and I prowled through his Commodore 64 collection, wondering what... read feature

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Hail the freak: 36 WoW accounts, played simultaneously. By a freak


Oct 11
I submit evidence of one man, which I am going to use to paint all World of Warcraft players as subhuman scumworms who deserve to be shot. This creature owns 36 WoW accounts, plays them at the same time on 11 computers, and g... read
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Thirty rubbish Pokemon: Red/Blue edition


Go away, Tauros
Jun 26
As readers will know, I recently confessed my closet Pokémon fandom and am celebrating my newfound liberation with a selection of Pokémon-themed articles for those who also like to throw hard metal balls at fluf... read
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Believe it or not, I really like Pokémon. I've been a big fan of the series since I was a child, but even though my interest in the series diminished as I got older, I still find myself dipping back into the monster-ca... read feature

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Ten Golden Rules of action games


May 25
There really is nothing quite like a good old-fashioned action game. From God of War to Bujingai, they are the bread and butter of a lifelong gamer's diet. A third-person mixture of combat and exploration, it is a genre absol... read
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Ten Golden Rules of the anti-videogames lobby


May 05
We have had many useful commandments for loyal readers over the course of our Ten Golden Rules series. From learning how to be an online gamer and fanboy, to crafting a successful JRPG or Survival Horror, there have been fail... read
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Ten golden rules of videogame fanboyism


Ah, fanboys.
Apr 27
What industry can truly call itself an industry without fanboys? Those who prove themselves obsessively loyal to any product or corporation can be found among many communities, and nowhere do they flourish more freely than wi... read
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So, I'm reading Topher's Ikaruga review and the comments resulting from it. Other than the usual half-ironic cries of "biased!" and "Anthony would have given this a 4!", I saw many repetitions of one particular sentiment tha... read feature

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Ten golden rules of survival horror


Apr 14
By our very nature, we as people are drawn to the dark. We may not like to admit it, but our macabre instincts thirst for blood, as we find ourselves morbidly drawn to brutality and violence. It is no surprise that horror is ... read
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Ten golden rules of Japanese RPGs


level 9999
Feb 29
The JRPG is a venerable and well respected genre, having survived almost unchanged for decades and supported by a community of hardcore obsessives that drool over every statistic and sweeping, globe trotting storyline that co... read
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Shadow of the Colossus' controls are an exercise in art


The "videogames as art" movement is a funny thing
Feb 29
Artsy wonks like myself love to wax philosophic about the potential that games have in terms of narration or eliciting meaningful, emotional player responses. We laud innovative game designers for forcing us to make morally a... read
These guys suck photo
These guys suck

Five videogame characters who suck at their jobs


Slackers
Feb 27
In general, our videogame protagonists need a set context for their lives before being thrust into action and adventure. Mario can't just be a dude with a goomba-stomping fetish; he has to be a plumber. Marcus Fenix can't jus... read






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