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Scarlet Blade might be the most shameless F2P game yet

Apr 06 // Conrad Zimmerman
Here's the official trailer: [embed]250929:47992:0[/embed] Yep.
Shameless Free-to-Boob photo
I mean that with every possible connotation
I don't know who it is that's responsible for pointing me in the direction of this video (it just appeared, totally anonymously), but I'd like to thank them for helping me realize that I hadn't yet seen the absolute worst th...

Skullgirls photo
Skullgirls

Creator of Skullgirls porn officially joins Lab Zero


How big is your joystick?
Mar 20
// Vito Gesualdi
[Update: Skullgirls lead designer Mike Z has contacted Destructoid to say that ZONE's pornographic work was not considered during the hiring process. The writer apologizes for not making it clear that this was ...
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EA + Tabloid = Half-naked woman in Crysis 3 bodypaint


Sleaze meets sleaze to have a sleazy little baby
Feb 20
// Jim Sterling
The Sun loves to talk about how dangerous those violent videogames are, and frequently runs stories vilifying interactive entertainment for inspiring crime and teaching the youth of Britain all sorts of terrible things. Still...
Shinovi Versus trailer photo
Shinovi Versus trailer

This new Shinovi Versus gameplay trailer is ridiculous


Half naked hack and slash
Feb 19
// Chris Carter
If you didn't get enough clothes-ripping brawling action out of the first Senran Kagura: Shinovi Versus video, boy do I have another trailer for you. This new video shows off more gameplay, and it it's looking pretty insane ...

Review: Boob Wars: Big Breasts vs. Flat Chests

Jan 29 // Jim Sterling
Boob Wars: Big Breasts vs. Flat Chests (PC)Developer: Softhouse SealPublisher: Manga GamerReleased: October 19, 2012 (Digital), February 2013 (Boxed)MSRP: $24.95Rig: Intel i7-2600k @3.40 GHz, with 8GB of RAM, GeForce GTX 580 GPU (SLI) Boob Wars puts you in the role of an Erorist -- a man paid to teach women about pleasure by having sex with them whether they want to have sex or not. Our "hero" is charged with the task of reuniting the titular tribes who constantly war over which breast size is superior -- however, this being such a socially progressive game, the protagonist aims to spread the word that breast size doesn't matter, promoting peace and tolerance instead of enmity. Because this a socially progressive game.  The objective is to force sex on as many women as possible until they like it. The main message of the game seems to be that women secretly enjoy any and all sex from any and all men, so you might as well just make them do it and wait patiently for their gratitude when you're finished. So like I said, it's socially progressive and has an important moral message at its narrative core. Chapters involve beating women in combat until they're too weak to fight back, then having your way with them. If that sounds monstrous, just remember -- the women want it. No matter how much they beg our heroic hero to stop, the story consistently reinforces the idea that they definitely want it, as much to convince itself as the player.  Holding itself to fairly loose standards in terming itself a game, Boob Wars gives players a modicum of choice in influencing how the story goes, letting them conquer one or both tribes, and selecting which characters to rape -- sorry, seduce -- first. Once a decision is made, some narrative plays out, detailing the player's ambush of whatever victim -- sorry, opponent -- was chosen. What follows is a card battle, though again, Boob Wars plays fast and loose with terminology in a bid to just scrape by the genre's requirements.  Players and enemies are dealt a hand of seven cards, each with random numbers on them, and can choose to play up to three cards per phase. The protagonist and his opponent take turns alternating between attack and defense, aiming to play cards of high value. Basically, if it's your turn to attack and you played three cards valued at five points each, while the enemy plays three cards valued at two, you'll deal damage to the enemy's hit points. The greater the difference between the two scores, the more damage is dealt. That's really all there is to it. On Normal difficulties, it doesn't take long until the cards are whittled down to two per combatant (two new cards are drawn per turn) and battle consists of simply playing all available cards while leaving it up to chance. Variable cards that let you reshuffle or play more cards pop up occasionally, but battles are otherwise a brainless and tactic-free affair.  Once our intrepid Erorist beats his opponent, a sex scene will play out, complete with lurid descriptions of how he sticks his "sexy kebab" in her "honey pot." The text overlays some fairly simple drawings of the action, with a very rare bit of animation now and then. The usual routine is that the women will be frightened and confused as they try to fight the intense pleasure being violated by a stranger gives them, before eventually surrendering themselves. At the end, you get to choose whether or not ejaculate on her body or deposit the semen directly into her womb, because Boob Wars wants to make sure you're complicit in this behavior.  That's more or less it. Beyond that is a more subtle metagame played directly between yourself and the developers -- how long can you play before you truly, utterly despise everything that you've become? I hit that level within the first twenty minutes, which doesn't sound impressive until you remember it's a very short game and does a lot with its brief gameplay to really make you feel that if there is a God in this cold and merciless universe, he did something awful in putting you among decent people. Translated by scribes who clearly used a thesaurus without the requisite understanding of chosen words (Unless they really thought the use of "stinky" in a blowjob scene was erotic), and featuring drawings you could find cheaper and better equivalents of with a quick Google Image Search, Boob Wars: Big Breasts vs. Flat Chests is a game you play not to get off, or even to laugh, but to question whether or not your parents wasted everybody's time in conceiving, giving birth to, and educating you. Of course, the question remains is this -- it's an H-game, what on Earth was I expecting? I don't know. I don't know why I do any of the things I do, but deciding to review games like Boob Wars certainly makes me have a really good think about my life and forces me to resolve to be a better person. I only did it because readers asked for it, but that excuse will never be enough to cover the stain on my conscience. While not the most overt, violent, disgusting, or graphic H-game available, there's nonetheless an inherent layer of unsettling sleaze to the whole thing, a subtly nasty edge to the way it tries to convince the player that women just walk around wanting it all the time, and you're a bad person if you don't give it to them the moment there's nobody around to see you. In this game, you're not supposed to do what you do out of sadism, or dark humor, but out of a sense of heartfelt nobility -- the end game is peace, and tolerance, and everybody agreeing that unbidden penetration is beautiful. That, somehow, manages to be a worse reason than any.  Even playing devil's advocate and writing this from the perspective of somebody who might be into these games, Boob Wars isn't good. By the standards of those who want to masturbate themselves silly over violent cartoon sex, we're looking at something sub-par, lifeless, and cynical. To offend a regular bypasser is one thing, but this feels offensive to even the target audience. Then again, I could be wrong. Maybe this truly is the game fans have been waiting for. I don't claim to speak for them, and nor would I, but all I can say is, if you want to get off with cartoons, there's much better out there. I can give you the links later. You really don't need to waste your time with this brainless, gormless, depressing little exercise in grisly misery.  All that said ... the soundtrack's pretty good.
Boob Wars reviewed! photo
Traumatic mammary
[Warning: NSFW, even if censored, images following.] "At the beginning of the 22nd Century, an anomaly began occurring in the bodies of women," so goes the tale of Boob Wars. "All the women of the world became either E Cups a...

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Earth Defense Force meets filthy porn with Underoid


A Japanese porn game that tries to be an actual game!?
Jan 28
// Jim Sterling
Meet Underoid, a Japanese pornographic videogame that doesn't actually look like a Japanese pornographic game. Oh make no mistake, it looks Japanese, but it's not outwardly porny. At least not at first glance.  This is a...
Boob Wars = GOTF photo
Boob Wars = GOTF

Boob Wars, the last game you will ever need


"Erorists"
Jan 25
// Tony Ponce
Just a short while ago, we received an email from MangaGamer, a distributor of English-translated Japanese adventure games. It contained a press release for an adult turn-based card battler entitled Boob Wars: Big Breasts vs ...
Senran Kagura photo
Senran Kagura

Senran Kagura: Shinovi Versus opening movie is not sexist


Buoyancy
Jan 20
// Kyle MacGregor
My favorite part was when all the clothing erupted off the characters' bodies in a whirlwind of shredded fabric. Hm. Okay. Maybe it is sexist after all. Or not. I don't know. I'm still too busy enjoying that killer music. Oh...
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HAWP: This video is about BOOBS


Also, something something Tomb Raider
Dec 08
// Tony Ponce
Continuing the tradition of only being tangentially related to the videogame an episode is named after, the latest Hey Ash, Whatcha Playin'? uses the new Tomb Raider as a springboard into a discussion about women in games an...
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Party today with Dtoid, Intel & TigerDirect in Miami


We're bringing the games to Miami's first annual Holiday Technology Bash
Nov 20
// Niero Gonzalez
TigerDirect's annual PC race for charity is back, and it kicks off with a killer party! Destructoid is returning to Miami for this special event co-hosted by Intel, and if you're reading this you're invited! Grab your golden ...
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The PS Vita is like a headless lady with four breasts?


That's what a French advert claims
Nov 01
// Jim Sterling
According to a promotional ad in France, the PlayStation Vita is comparable to a woman with no head and four breasts, two of which jut agonizingly from her back like a pair of malevolent tumors.  What are we to glean fro...
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Info dump for Senran Kagura: Shinovi Versus on PS Vita


Spin-off of the Senran Kagura series on 3DS
Oct 28
// Tony Ponce
In my my post last week about new Bandai figurines, I very casually mentioned that booby ninja schoolgirl series Senran Kagura was receiving a new installment on PS Vita. It immediately occurred to me that Dtoid never formal...
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The DTOID Show: Assassin's Creed DLC, Star Wars, & Porno


Plus: Pac-Man locked in a dark room with nothing but pills and his personal demons
Oct 03
// Max Scoville
On today's completely professional, mature, and otherwise not stupid or embarrassing Destructoid Show, we discuss some very serious topics. First, a season pass is announced for Assassin's Creed III, and the first DLC will b...
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YouPorn 'now on' Xbox, welcomes 'Xbox Masturbators'


Porn site cheekily claims it's coming to Xbox Live
Oct 02
// Jim Sterling
Sometimes this job is boring, and sometimes YouPorn sends Destructoid a press release, excitedly telling us that its streaming sex video services is coming to Xbox Live. Of course, what it actually means is that, with Interne...
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Jimquisition: Monster Boobs And Plastic Children


Jimquisition happens every Monday!
Oct 01
// Jim Sterling
Oh, Team Ninja. Oh my dear, sweet Team Ninja. Oh my dear, sweet, misguided Team Ninja. Oh my dear, sweet, misguided, pervy, creepy, sleazy, weird, freaky, pervy, pervy, pervy Team Ninja. Your boobs are so bad. Your justification of said boobs are worse. Boobs. FYI, I fully admit today's episode is silly and quite possibly pointless. It was, however fun to make and I hope it is fun to watch.
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The DTOID Show: Guns, Boobs & Ninjas


Yes, that is the title of today's episode
Sep 28
// Max Scoville
Hey gang! Here we are again, another Friday episode where Tara and I goof off a bunch because we feel like it. Big news today: something something boobs controversy Team Ninja Dead Or Alive 5, Konami unveils collector's editi...
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Team Ninja: Dead or Alive fans demand bigger breasts


Gaming's sleaziest AAA dev justifies its large wobblers
Sep 27
// Jim Sterling
Team Ninja's Yohei Shimbori has been justifying his studio's love of massive breasts with inhuman wobble physics, claiming that while international distributors want the breasts toned down, fans are demanding even bigger...
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New screens and trailer show off DOA5's tag team mode


Jul 19
// Brett Zeidler
Man, do I love me some Dead or Alive. And Dead or Alive 5? From what I've played, it seems like it's shaping up to be something truly special. One of my personal favorite modes from DoAs of past has to be the tag team m...
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ESRB: Resident Evil 6 features hybridized spider-boobs


Jul 16
// Jim Sterling
It's been ages since we had a good ESRB rating story, but America's guardians have delivered the goods once more. As usual, we've got a rating for an M-rated game and, as usual, it makes said game sound delightful ... in a ki...
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BOOBS BOOBS BOOBS BOOBS BOOBS BUTTS BOOBS


Jun 22
// Tony Ponce
This is the opening movie for Senran Kagura Burst on 3DS. In the words of Jonathan Holmes, "I've never seen something switch from totally awesome to totally stupid so rapidly." It begins with your typical "stare longingly ou...
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At E3 last week, there were a good amount of new fighting games. Conrad and I made our rounds to all the booths that had fighting games to show off, and Steven Hansen eventually joined us as well. Here we made our way to the...

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Senran Kagura sequel gets new enemies, same old boobs


Jun 03
// Jonathan Holmes
Senran Kagura is a 2D brawler that was popular enough to get an upcoming sequel in Japan, but it still hasn't been released in the US and Europe. I'm still trying to figure out why. Do 3DS publishers really think that the gam...
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Zombie cheerleaders can be found at London Comic-Con


May 23
// Brett Zeidler
Are you sad because you live out of the country and it's very difficult to make it to the legendary San Diego Comic-Con? Well, if you live in/near London, UK, you can always head to the MCM London Comic-Con being held later t...
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HAWP: Anthony Burch has no shame


May 19
// Tony Ponce
So typical. Anthony Burch has a platform upon which he can share his insight into the value of videogames as a medium, yet he would rather throw all his credibility away for some cheap cheesecake exposure. He's not even all ...
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Juliet's extra costumes unlockable in Lollipop Chainsaw


May 10
// Brett Zeidler
Remember when it was announced that all of Juliet's alternate costumes would be available worldwide? That was great news, except it wasn't clear if they would be available to us at a price, or if they would be included in the...
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Mileena and Kitana duke it out in Mortal Kombat Vita ad


Apr 26
// Brett Zeidler
A new week, a new full length live action teaser for Mortal Kombat on Vita. So, it seems that Warner Bros. lied when they said that the video featuring only Kitana was the full length video, because this is the same exact tr...
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Marvelous truly knows how to market Senran Kagura Burst


Apr 25
// Tony Ponce
Last week, Marvelous revealed Senran Kagura Burst, the sequel the hit 3DS brawler starring school-aged masturbation fodder. And what goes better with horny adolescent fap material if not a box of tissues? On April 28 and 29, ...
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Super Monkey Ball decides to get a bit naughty


Apr 20
// Hiroko Yamamura
Some things just represent purity and innocence to me. New born babies, Mother Theresa, and of course Super Monkey Ball. I'm sure you could mix various words in the game's title with others to dirty it up, but the thought of...
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Holy motorboating, Batman! Senran Kagura to get a sequel


Apr 18
// Tony Ponce
Ninja schoolgirl brawler Senran Kagura sold, like, super well in Japan, so while us Westerners wait ever so patiently for a localization announcement, Marvelous is wasting no time pumping out a sequel. Appropriately titled Se...
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Juliet cleans off zombie bits in Lollipop Chainsaw video


Apr 05
// Brett Zeidler
Zombies are messy. Like, really messy. Their fragile bodies are falling apart and full of blood, so I'm sure it comes as no surprise that Juliet gets covered in zombie bits after a day of slaying them with her chainsaw. She ...

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