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#also cocks

YouPorn ban photo
YouPorn ban

YouPorn eSports team banned by league

YouPorn, which my colleagues tell me is a supplier of online "adult" entertainment, sponsors an eSports team, Team YP. It has since 2014, back when I wrote, "More like spornsporning an eSporn team." Hah, nice. Unfortunately, this relationsh...

 
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8===D

Hot Mess: 10 Years of Destructoid party photos

There's something about the Mr. Destructoid helmet that brings out the animal in people. I've seen sheepish tiny McChicken-like boys turn into fearless crotch-thrusters, running up on stages and doing what three shots of Jager could not aff...

 
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Friday Night Fights - Happer Nooo Yur!

Dear lord it's bright. Worked till 6am, drank till 8 and back up at 12pm. Choices. Ugh. It's almost 1pm and I need to go back to work. At least it's Friday and it's a short, 4hr shift. It's the little things. Now excuse me, there's ham on m...

 
GOTY 2015
The downfall of Japanese game development has been greatly exaggerated. It sort of reminds me of what happened a century ago, when Dr. Kellogg introduced Kellogg's Corn Flakes in hopes that it would reduce masturbation. Kello...   read

Friday Night Fights photo
Friday Night Fights

Friday Night Fights - Ch-ch-ch-chaaaanges

Well isn't this Hunky Dory? A nice little Friday. We have a new Call of Duty to play together. We have a new Fallout to play with ourselves (HA! HA!). We have herpes. Wait, that's just me. My bad. "So shut up and tell us what's changing Mik...

 
Gamers love danger photo
Gamers love danger

Marathon gamers are 25% more likely to consider sleeping with a serial killer

Do you ever find yourself playing video games for more than eight hours straight? If you answered yes, would you consider sleeping with -- or fucking -- a serial killer? According to OKCupid, 25 percent of you are likely to answer yes. ...

 
Madden tricks photo
Madden tricks

Madden 16 screenshots lie about Marshawn Lynch dick-grabbing mechanic

Madden 16 used the above photo for Marshawn Lynch in its running backs player rating reveal. He is, naturally, number one at 96 overall. He cannot, however, grab his dick in defiance, as he is wont to do in real life. Seriously, watch this.

 
Dick slip photo
Dick slip

Miiverse moderation can't catch ALL the dicks

Sometimes they just slip through the cracks.

 
Rustic photo
Rustic

Rust soft launches female avatars, 'you never had a choice'

Back when I was telling you about how Rust automatically generates penis size based on Steam ID, a footnote to that article was that female player models were on their way to the survival sandbox, too. Well, this momentous addition was anno...

 
Rustic photo
Rustic

Rustic: Rust generates avatar cock size by Steam ID

Haha, rustic. I think it's time for Jordan to take another Rust adventure. The open world survival sim is fascinating. It recently made headlines when players flipped out after it randomly assigned face and skin tone to users' Steam IDs. An...

 
Don't get cocky photo
Don't get cocky

Expensive dick moderation helped kill the last LEGO MMO

Someone think about the children! Like my own personal brand, LEGO is a family-friendly, name-stealing company. And so the open-ended, Minecraft-like builder LEGO Worlds has some problem what with immature idiots' propensity to build cock. ...

 
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Friday Night Fights - Get Over Here!

Guys, I have a problem. I'm thirsty as hell. Not for some sweet meat slapping, but for blood. Your blood. Someone needs to hit me up on Xbox or PC for some Mortal Kombat X action. I have 9 Komplete on PC as well. LET'S DO THIS THANG! I need...

 
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Friday Night Fights - Goodbye Sweet Prince

I don't even have it in my heart to 'shop your face into those penguin eyes. Our fearless Boner Knight: Andy Dixon is leaving us as Community Manager. From the first time I was an asshole to you Andy, to the last time I was an asshole to yo...

 
Mario Kart dicks photo
From our community  

Who put all these dicks in Mario Kart?

[Where will Dtoid community blogger Hyper Lemon Buster Cannon find dicks next?? --Mr Andy Dixon] You know, if there's one important observation I've noticed throughout the years, it's that if you look hard enough, like really really hard, y...

 
Sporting YP photo
Sporting YP

YouPorn is sponsoring an eSports team

YouPorn, which a cursory Google search tells me is a streaming adult video webpage, has announced its sponsorship of a Spanish eSports team (Hearthstone, League of Legends). Play2Win will now be known as Team YP, which sounds like some...

 
Xbox porn photo
Xbox porn

Hardcore pornography CONFIRMED for Next Xbox

SugarDVD, purveyor of such fine films as What An Asshole and Hairy Asian Schoolgirls Masturbate, has confirmed it'll be bringing its adult entertainment streaming services to Microsoft's next-generation Xbox.  The service is already of...

 
Promoted cock blog photo
From our community  

Promoted blog: Gaming's greatest cocks

[Destructoid turned seven this past Saturday, and all month long Dtoiders have been reminiscing about their time with the site over in our Community Blogs. Here's Handy's little dandy. Show us yours! --Mr Andy Dixon] We have a little saying...

 
Etrian Odyssey IV photo
Etrian Odyssey IV

Etrian Odyssey IV will get you stiff

Dale North's review is taking forever because he keeps getting distracted by sh*t like this. [Swagtoise's Tumblr via Tiny Cartridge]

 
HAWP photo
HAWP

HAWP: Oh Ash, your diplomacy is so thick and hard

This is... well... umm... you know what? I'm not even going to explain it. The latest Hey Ash, Whatcha Playin'? is brilliance, plain and simple. Go watch it and have a good laugh or two. Hey Ash, Whatcha Playin'? - Civilization V [GameTrai...

 
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Goodbye, Destructoid

As some of you may or may not have heard, this is officially my last day with Destructoid. Man ... I can barely type that without getting upset. I am starting a new job next week at GolinHarris as a writer for Nintendo. It is an absolute dr...

 
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The DTOID Show: Assassin's Creed DLC, Star Wars, & Porno

On today's completely professional, mature, and otherwise not stupid or embarrassing Destructoid Show, we discuss some very serious topics. First, a season pass is announced for Assassin's Creed III, and the first DLC will be set in an alt...

 
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YouPorn 'now on' Xbox, welcomes 'Xbox Masturbators'

Sometimes this job is boring, and sometimes YouPorn sends Destructoid a press release, excitedly telling us that its streaming sex video services is coming to Xbox Live. Of course, what it actually means is that, with Internet Explorer comi...

 
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Destructoid Community Meetup Photos!

Yeah we're a web site, but we are also a collective of fleshy sacks of meat and blood that play video games together and drink sometimes!  In an effort to centralize our random adventures and always have a place to show random photos a...

 
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Swordfight will get your joystick hard

I stand corrected. This is the weirdest story of the weekend! If you read Joseph Leray's "Nordic New Wave" feature from the other week, you ought to be familiar with Johann Sebastian Joust, a game using accelerometer-powered controllers and...

 
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Namco Bandai pulls penis-flavored SoulCalibur V ad

[Update: So apparently it is not real. Stupid sexy Voldo!] Namco Bandai recently pulled an advert for SoulCalibur V after fans complained that it was too offensive. No, it wasn't the magazine page featuring ginormous breasts. It was an post...

 
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The DTOID Show: Our Top Gaming Moments Of 2011!

Merry Christmas, everybody! I'm gonna keep this short because idiot thought it was a good idea to put a small tree in my house and then leave a bunch of presents sitting under it, so I need to go get rid of that crap before anybody trips on...

 
8===D
While we're all waiting for that hotly anticipated Saints Row: The Third review, it's easy to forget that Volition Inc. has something else coming to market -- the official Saints Row: The Third Dildo Baseball Bat.  Fortu...   read

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Fruit Ninja Kinect unleashes my ninja penis

I refused to rearrange my living room to play Fruit Ninja in my girlfriend's tiny San Francisco flat, so after a few failed attempts at calibration I just jumped behind the sofa, causing my body to turn into a floating severed torso.  ...

 
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When eroges get motion controls

According to Maniac, the Japanese developer Tech Arts is working on a title called 3D Custom Girl, which will be released at the end of October. The women present in the game cover pretty much every single Anime cliché in the book. T...

 
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Skyrim demo sends woman into labor

[Update: Chaz and Stevi joined us in the Outer Heaven chat last night (Chaz has been following Destructoid for years) and we got the chance to talk with the soon-to-be parents. Because of the pregnancy, the wedding (planned for this past we...

 

Victoria MedinaFeatured blogger

I've always been terrible with talking about myself, I want to be witty and give you something fun to read, but I never know quite how to say the things I want to say. At least about myself. I ...

 

Reviews

Bazaar"No, not that Magic Carpet"

 

Thrustmaster TMX Force Feedback Wheel"Basically the T150, but for Xbox One and PC"

 

Fragments of Him"Great writing and performances, terrible pacing and gameplay"

 

Push Me Pull You"Playing Nightcrawlers"

 

Chronos"I keep getting older, but they stay the same age"

 

The Climb"You rock, rock"

 

Hitman: Sapienza"Molto buono"

 

Ray Gigant"Challenge not included"

 

Soda Drinker Pro"Like explaining an inside joke to someone else"

 
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DISCUSSIONS | setupPosts by everyone - post yours

SeymourDuncan17

I am feeling rather vulnerable Take me,

 
Amna Umen

Well pluck my feathers! The Double Fine Adventure kickstarter may finally fully deliver if this email I got has anything to do with

 
Shinta

Why do I always have to have the weird opinion? I get the sense you all stop believing my sincerity after a Starfox Guard is actually REALLY fun once it gets Like playing slow FPS with 12 Honestly surprised I like it this

 
Sr Churros

HELL YEAH my Indie Game: the Movie tshirt just arrived today! Being part of one of the translation teams for the special edition content already was crazy amazing, but getting this swag was also a really neat bonus!

 
AvtrSpirit

A bar that has actually piqued my Its not the first e-sports bar in the world, but I believe its the first in

 
Nathan D

I am the Crow of Cainhurst! My Chikage will cut to your very soul! Prepare yourself for mortal combat! Or, OR I could cheese you to death over 5 minutes while you kill yourself with your PRECIOUS Chikage as I throw poison knives and Molotovs at

 
DanteKinkade

Good day, very good I get to talk to my mate for the first time in almost two weeks because he has been busy with college and work stuff and we spend the day rping kinky hardcore S&M Much more fun the games and will be even more fun in

 
Torchman

Torch summarizes mission 11: GET IN THE MECH AND INTO THE SUPER ROBOT WAR SHINJI

 
Isuma

Boy, oh boy! Tomorrow finally well see some more Persona 5! Hopefully well get a release date as #Hypetrain

 
Dinosir

you know, after having seen the promo stuff for Star Fox, Id really like a Jim Henson-esque star fox puppet Id watch

 
KnickKnackMyWack

Holy fucking How did I not ever catch that Grant Walker from Batman TAS: Deep Freeze is a freaking parody of Walt Disney?

 
Ckarasu

Im sad that it doesnt surprise me that some people actually complained about the Squid Sister These are some of the best implementations of amiibo Neat, fun content thats not necessary for enjoying the All put in a nice

 
SirDavies

Sorry for posting something from The Competition but this interview is pretty great

 
gajknight

Hey guys, look what I got! Once I finish my Lovecraft collection, this is being read

 
FullmetalJ

I cant believe it never dawned on me

 
KnickKnackMyWack

So, I thought Id survey you I wrote a short college bio on Hatsune Miku and the Vocaloid process and Would any of you care to read that paper? Kudos to Zetta for giving me the idea to share

 
Vadicta

Okay, so my works admin officially started supporting Chrome, as it turns out, which means they blocked cookies, plugins, and just about everything on So, now I have to use FireFox for a proper experience -_-

 
Torchman

Game gave me Black Getter mission Love Although Viral is hanging around as an npc :( Gurren lagann soon maybe?

 
Oridan

So apparently the new Uncharted has graphics filters? Im really liking the cel shaded Id play that,

 
Nathan D

So this PS4 Neo, hows that supposed to work if you already have an original one and want to transfer everything on your old HDD over?Youd probably just have to do it all THAT would blow I dont plan on getting one, but

 
StriderHoang

Astro Figgter Sunred theme is stuck in my Anyone want to watch a few episodes with me say Saturday via Rabbit?

 
Alphadeus

Thank God For Me & The Jimquisition (Jim Sterling) (2012) - Song from Songs for Gamers, written for the one and only Jim Its actually two I went with a church type song for the first part, and an action song for the second

 
Vadicta

So, instead of being able to see my updates, Disqus keeps telling me to make an account when I click on my red Im already logged on through Destructoid, Anyone else having this issue?

 
Torchman

Does anyone know where to find a list of the Angels from Evangelion? Im not too familiar with them and I have to defeat certain ones under certain conditions for

 
Oridan

Ive spent this day watching the Stellaris multiplayer Twitch DAY WELL

 
BigDoniel

Somethings wrong with my Destructoid, I can never see posts from the people constantly praising Nintendo with all the free passes I always see Get it fixed now mod folks!

 
Jiraya

I was looking for things to buy and stumbled on this and thought of Nekro no real

 
jake oti

Started Star Fox Guard I wish it had gyro But, then again, some of the gameplay is dependent on how slow the cameras turn, which would be awkward with

 
ACESandElGHTS

Robot Shuffle Man is always

 

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