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Sexy Time!

Stick Shift photo
Stick Shift

Stick Shift let me jerk off a car


Feel that rumble, tug that stiff pole
Apr 03
Quivering with anticipation, I slowly insert my keys into his ignition slot. A few moments of anticipation, some stuttering as he turns over. A moment of all encompassing rumbling as I turn him on. The engine is running, my c... read
Dead or Alive photo
Dead or Alive

Boobs and more boobs in Dead or Alive 5 Last Round video


Did I mention there are boobs?
Feb 20
If the latest Dead or Alive 5 Last Round trailer didn't have enough explosions for you, then check out this not-creepy-at-all video released by PlayStation Japan that could very well allow you to create your own private expl... read
New 3DS impressions photo
Cue people being mad because I think something could be better
After a Nintendo press event yesterday, I was sent home with a review unit of the New Nintendo 3DS XL. I figured it would be a good idea to record my opening of it so that I could share my trademarked cynical indignation wit... read feature

Link's short shorts photo
Link's short shorts

Link can wear skimpy shorts in the new Hyrule Warriors DLC


Twilight Princess pack
Nov 21
♪ I believe in miracles, since you came along, you sexy Link. ♪ Next Thursday's Twilight Princess pack for Hyrule Warriors will be one to remember. The DLC adds Twili Midna as a playable character, the Postman cos... read
Buff Peter Moore photo
Buff Peter Moore

Here's what EA thinks is worth a press conference


It's a buff, shirtless Peter Moore
Aug 13
At the EA press conference earlier, Peter Moore stood on stage and showed off various modes in The Sims 4. None of that was important though. This is the most important piece of information to come from the presentation. Behold: buff, shirtless Peter Moore. You're welcome. read
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Gentlemen's Club: We're giving away tons of Payday 2!


Over on Dtoid.tv
Feb 19
If you've been following my Twitter you know I'm absolutely head over heels for Payday 2. I came in expecting a crime themed Left 4 Dead-lite but what I got was one of my favorite co-op games. There' s something about plannin... read
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Videogame Clubhouse: The Valentine's Day special


LET'S EMBARRASS OURSELVES AND OUR MOTHERS!
Feb 13
It's time for that annual occurrence of public shame and humiliation: Valentine's Day. If that sentence wasn't enough to tip you off then know that I'm not a big fan of the holiday. So what is a guy to do to prepare himself f... read
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Lightning Returns: Final Fantasy XIII
Yesterday, while working on our preview of Lightning Returns: Final Fantasy XIII, I asked those in the office if I should make some kind of quick video to show off some of the costumes I've collected in the game. Everyone in... read feature

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The Gentlemen's Club! The last one... for the year!?


I CAN'T HOLD ALL THESE GAMES!
Dec 18
Spencer and I are both two people who get really excited whenever our favorite non-denominational holiday rolls around. We have already been getting into the mood by listening to some of the greatest seasonal song hits from B... read
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Rad Show: Kinnikuman Muscle Grand Prix Max 2


Musccccccccccclllllleeeee Bussstttaaaaahhhh
Dec 15
When I was a child, I use to collect these small flesh colored rubber men. They were pretty odd, but they were all unique. They were called Muscle Men, and I had an army of them. Then my destructive self decided to let them m... read
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The Gentlemen's Club! Bears wearing armor, that's it


WHO HAD THIS AMAZING IDEA!?
Nov 20
You guys may remember a movie called The Golden Compass. While out searching for games to play on a show Spencer and I came across the game based on this movie. This movie had bears wearing armor...BEARS IN ARMOR. So naturall... read
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Max Scoville presents "Sexy Video Game News-Hole"
As you might've heard yesterday, I am back with Destructoid as full-time Video Warlock. And so, I've wasted absolutely no time whatsoever abusing my newfound power, and here's the first episode of my new show: Sexy Video Gam... read feature

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The Gentlemen's Club! We are ruining our friendship live!


I SWEAR, IF YOU TAKE MY STAR...
Nov 06
Spencer and I pretty much agree that Mario Party 2 is the best in the series. The characters cosplay depending on what stage they were in! You haven't Mario Partied until you see Donkey Kong in a wizard outfit, that's what I ... read
PAX Prime 2013 Photos photo
Two (hundred) Dtoiders, one helmet
Look at that thing. LOOK AT IT. My god we're beautiful. In fact, I'd go so far as to say that Dtoiders are the sexiest people at any industry event. E3? Check. gamescom. Czech. PAX? You bet your ass, check. And because we're ... read feature

Killer is Disappointed photo
Gigol-oh-no: What the creatively bankrupt, boring missions have to say about Killer is Dead
I really like Killer is Dead. I want to like it more, but I’m increasingly unsure if I should. Unfortunately, the awful Gigolo missions are a big part of planting the seed of distrust in my mind. Hah! I bet you thought... read feature

Senran Kagura Burst photo
Senran Kagura Burst

Senran Kagura Burst will hit retail AND digital in Europe


Huge tracts of land
Aug 10
Gentlemen, get your oils and scented candles ready, because Senran Kagura Burst will be arriving in Europe some time in Q1 2014. Americans received a localization confirmation from XSEED earlier this week, seemingly leaving o... read
Senran Kagura Burst photo
Senran Kagura Burst

XSEED to release Senran Kagura Burst in North America


It's official!
Aug 06
Senran Kagura Burst is coming to the Nintendo 3DS in North America, XSEED Games has announced. The Tamsoft-developed side-scrolling brawler will launch exclusively via the Nintendo eShop this fall.  A two for one followi... read
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Rayman on PC, Incognita, Saints Row IV & More Oculus XXX


The Destructoid Show likes turtles
Jul 26
Hey guys! I'm back! And here's today's Destructoid Show, gettin' nasty and stupid with its bad self. Rayman Legends is hitting PC, which is great. The Oculus Rift is supported by a game about sexy maids, Saints Row IV has a ... read
Ma-Ma-myyyyy! photo
Ma-Ma-myyyyy!

Did Peach just orgasm?


Nintendo starts airing Wii U commercials again in Japan
Jun 27
Oh my God... what is happening in those first 10 seconds!? Nintendo suddenly realized that it forgot to advertise the Wii U and has scrambled to put together a set of TV commercials. But the one for New Super Luigi U is just... read
Wii Fit Trainer photo
Wii Fit Trainer

Japanese artists think Wii Fit Trainer is smokin'


Gotta love that bleached Michael Jackson skin
Jun 19
The fourth Smash Bros. was only announced last week, but fans the world over have already contributed a wealth of art based on the three new characters. However, Japanese art community pixiv has taken a particularly big shine... read
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The Destructoid Show can see through your clothes
Hello boys and girls, here's today's Destructoid Show for you to rub your dirty little eyeballs all over. Mmmm. Yes, just like that. Bethesda is done with Skyrim, and they've now begun teasing their next exciting mystery pro... read feature

Skullgirls photo
Skullgirls

Creator of Skullgirls porn officially joins Lab Zero


How big is your joystick?
Mar 20
[Update: Skullgirls lead designer Mike Z has contacted Destructoid to say that ZONE's pornographic work was not considered during the hiring process. The writer apologizes for not making it clear that this was ... read
Do the Mario photo
Do the Mario

Speed-painted Mario wants you to check his package


"Do the Mario," indeed
Feb 21
8bit Ego artist Josh Summana, who recently shared a time-lapse video of his killer Donkey Kong painting, has clued me into a new piece as part of his "Heroes" line. If you haven't already, do check out his "Villains" line as... read
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Who are the hottest men in the games industry?


Hey Justin Leeper: More like Guy Informer!
Feb 13
It's disgusting how men continue to be objectified in the games industry. Here's our latest example: meningameshotornot.tumblr.com Despite all their hard work, award winning Tweets, and awesome review-score-giving abilities, ... read
Sexy man for Rayman photo
Sexy man for Rayman

Man with sexy voice croons about Rayman Legends' delay


Put on your headphones and dim the lights
Feb 12
The low-level echelon of so-called "gamers" have said their piece about Ubisoft's decision to delay Rayman Legends for the sake of porting it to the 360 and PS3. Now it's time for a real man's man to speak softly into your e... read
Donkey Kong photo
Donkey Kong

So sexy Donkey Kong time-lapse painting


It's like he's undressing me with his eyes
Jan 31
Damn, Donkey, you so fine! Maybe peel my banana sometime! Artist Josh Summana has been creating wonderful pieces like above and filming the process for his media company 8bit Ego. He's got a whole mess of these dudes, such a... read
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Boob Wars: Colonial Marines, HD Wind Waker & RIP THQ


The Destructoid Show gets weird on Fridays
Jan 25
Hey gang, here's the recording of today's live Destructoid Show! Nintendo Direct happened, so we talked about all of that, and SimCity has new curved roads in it, I hope you're ready for that. That new Aliens: Colonial ... read
Chiptunes photo
Chiptunes

Game Boy sex! Parallel Processing by Danimal Cannon & Zef


They made a beautiful chiptune baby
Jan 16
I had a chance to meet the bald and beautiful Danimal Cannon (Roots, Armcannon, Metroid Metal) at MAGFest this year, and I've gotta say, he's one chill dude -- lounging at the merch table in a night robe, what a rebel! Still,... read
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The DTOID Show: VR Porno, Tomb Raider & Dark Souls


Our "sexiest episode ever"
Dec 17
It's Destructoid's sexiest episode ever! Well, Sessiest, anyway. Tara's out sick, so Adam Sessler's filling in. News includes interactive porno for the Oculus Rift by way of a company called Sinful Robot, some new Tomb Raider gameplay, and the top 5 sexiest Final Fantasy characters who are dudes. Plus: Dark Souls II is too easy, everyone get upset. read
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Final Fantasy fans rank the series hottest beefcakes


All that spiked hair, oh my!
Dec 17
Square Enix polled 800+ Japanese Final Fantasy fans on which male characters really beef their cakes. Unsurprisingly, beefcake supremos known for making happy pants tents across the globe Squall and Cloud placed high at 2 and... read






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