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3:20 PM on 04.03.2015

Stick Shift let me jerk off a car

Quivering with anticipation, I slowly insert my keys into his ignition slot. A few moments of anticipation, some stuttering as he turns over. A moment of all encompassing rumbling as I turn him on. The engine is running, my c...

Laura Kate Dale



Review: Criminal Girls: Invite Only  photo
Review: Criminal Girls: Invite Only
by Brittany Vincent

We all know the PlayStation Vita is now the de facto home for all things Japanese. Ports, remakes, re-releases, and original content all trickle down similarly to the little handheld that could, and the Vita port of 2010's PSP adventure Criminal Girls is one of the latest to join the fold. The original release picked up a subtitle on its way westward and found place in retail sales as Criminal Girls: Invite Only.

The Vita release is a strange amalgam of role-playing elements and simulated discipline that feels right at home on the handheld. These prisoners have been bad, bad girls, and it's up to you to push them toward the road to redemption. 

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11:00 AM on 03.01.2015

Cibele is a game about love, sex, and the Internet

Nina Freeman (How Do You Do It?, Space Dad) is the first and only person to talk to me at length about how Smash Bros. could be a metaphor for an orgy. You can watch her full Sup Holmes episode here. We talk about magical gi...

Jonathan Holmes

10:00 PM on 02.01.2015

The Witcher 3 team recorded 16 hours of motion capture for sex scenes

Do sex scenes in videogames ever arouse you or do they just look like two action figures rubbing their crotches together? Or both? If you're said "yes" or "both" to those questions then you're in luck. The upcoming action RP...

Jonathan Holmes


11:59 PM on 12.31.2014

Person offers to 'show boobs' for Captain Falcon or Pit amiibo

Depending on your time zone, this may be your final Destructoid post of 2014. If the doomsday predictions of 2012 come true two years late and this is the final thing you ever read, then I'm sorry, and you're welcome.  A...

Jonathan Holmes

11:30 AM on 12.07.2014

Hot Sticky Mess is the 'hardest' Electronic Super Joy DLC to date

[Update: The levels in Hot Sticky Mess were designed by Don Nguyen and Cassie Chui, not Michael Todd and Cassie Chui as originally reported. Apologizes for the error.] Electronic Super Joy is a happy, scary game about a...

Jonathan Holmes

10:30 AM on 10.05.2014

Heavy breathing and screaming man game hits 3DS in Japan

Growing up, games like Jungle Hunt, Pitfall, and Congo Bongo were the equivalent to today's "AAA experiences". It was just a given that people wanted to play games about defenseless men in the jungle avoiding outrageous deat...

Jonathan Holmes

9:00 PM on 05.16.2014

Surprise, this game about masturbation wasn't allowed on the App Store

Color absolutely no one surprised. HappyPlayTime, an educational tool of sorts for women, has been rejected by the App Store, on the grounds that "the concept is not something that Apple wants to go forward with." Not too big...

Brittany Vincent

5:30 PM on 04.27.2014

Sleepy Time is a Rhythm Depression Masturbation sensation

A lot of weird, unmarketable, one track minded games are referred to as "masturbatory" by their detractors. From a wider perspective, many detractors of videogames in general refer to the medium as "masturbatory", as so many ...

Jonathan Holmes



Contest: Win a PS3/Vita code for Hotline Miami! photo
Contest: Win a PS3/Vita code for Hotline Miami!
by mrandydixon

[Update: Contest over! Winners have been sent their codes.]

Dtoid has just acquired 70 codes for the PS3/Vita version of Hotline Miami and I REALLY WANT YOU TO WIN BECAUSE I LOVE YOU HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY.

Here's the deal: throughout this romantic weekend, I'll be spreading my sticky love to random commenters here on the site, random followers of our @Destructoid Twitter account, and in chat during our various live shows over on Dtoid TV. Stay tuned to all three places for the most chances to win!

Getting all hot and bothered and just can't wait?! Leave a comment below telling me what kind of mask you'll be wearing while you take your sweetheart out tonight for Valentine's Day dinner and I'll enter you right now. Because nothing says "I love you" like Hotline Miami!

Good luck! And don't forget, our Huge members get automatic entry into all contests (as well as a bunch of other awesome perks). It's pretty great!

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3:45 PM on 02.13.2014

Videogame Clubhouse: The Valentine's Day special

It's time for that annual occurrence of public shame and humiliation: Valentine's Day. If that sentence wasn't enough to tip you off then know that I'm not a big fan of the holiday. So what is a guy to do to prepare himself f...

Spencer Hayes





11:15 AM on 01.21.2014

Vita card game Monster Monpiece comes to NA, EU

Idea Factory International's first Vita game, Monster Monpiece, has been confirmed for North America and Europe today. This tactical card battle with RPG elements comes to PSN this spring.  If the name sounds familiar, ...

Dale North



The Oculus Rift Tenga Falcon Rube Goldberg Sex Device photo
The Oculus Rift Tenga Falcon Rube Goldberg Sex Device
by Max Scoville

As you might've heard yesterday, I am back with Destructoid as full-time Video Warlock. And so, I've wasted absolutely no time whatsoever abusing my newfound power, and here's the first episode of my new show: Sexy Video Game News Hole. It is exactly what it sounds like.

Today, we discuss the absurd contraption rigged up for the VR Japan Oculus Rift game jam this last weekend, which was basically a robotic arm and a Fleshlight rigged up as a peripheral for the popular virtual reality headset.

(I'm sorry, Mom.)

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11:30 AM on 10.23.2013

Get ready to spank: Saints Row IV: Enter The Dominatrix

We thought Saints Row: The Third expansion Enter the Dominatrix was some silly, horny internet thing. But it's real, and it's out today on the PSN, XBLA and Steam, priced at $6.99. If you've got a season pass, well, it'...

Dale North



Jimquisition: Neutered  photo
Jimquisition: Neutered
by Jim Sterling

Why do gamers defend their favorite titles from criticism with such volatility? According to some, it's because they don't want to see their genitalia removed.

Is inclusivity the enemy of creativity? Is restriction an inherent part of congeniality? The Jimquisition considers recent controversies against the fear of a game being "neutered" to "pander" to new audiences.

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8:30 PM on 07.26.2013

Rayman on PC, Incognita, Saints Row IV & More Oculus XXX

Hey guys! I'm back! And here's today's Destructoid Show, gettin' nasty and stupid with its bad self. Rayman Legends is hitting PC, which is great. The Oculus Rift is supported by a game about sexy maids, Saints Row IV has a ...

Max Scoville