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#Satire

Halolz
Halo 5: Guardians is a video game much like any other; some parts of it are real good, others not so much. Take the story, for example, this part of Halo 5 is pretty nice. There's a reason why we gave the game ...   read

Cash money photo
Cash money

PewDiePie nearly has enough money to buy his soul back (Fauxclusive)

Earlier this week Forbes Magazine listed the ten richest celebrities on YouTube and to the surprise of absolutely no one, gaming personality PewDiePie ranked as the top YouTube earner with more than $12 million dollars made over the la...

 
Pokemon Grindr photo
Pokemon Grindr

Apparently you can get laid via gay hookup apps by using Pokemon quotes

Ask any gay guy you know with a smartphone if he knows what Grindr is and he will tell you all about the popular hookup app for men that have sex with men; from the unsolicited dick pics, to the creepy married men trying to pay for sex. Eve...

 
Legend of Zelda photo
Legend of Zelda

Is The Legend of Zelda: Tri Force Heroes too formulaic? (Fauxclusive)

The Legend of Zelda: Tri Force Heroes is the first Zelda game for the 3DS to utilize co-operative play in a series that has traditionally been a single-player experience. So why does it feel so familiar? I played Tri Force Heroes this past ...

 
Fungal Asshole photo
Fungal Asshole

Indie dev's angry rant demonstrates the stress after being Kickstarted

Having never heard of Elysian Shadows -- a 2D RPG that was Kickstarted for PC, mobile, Ouya, and even Dreamcast -- I stumbled across the above video of one of the developers, Falco Girgis, seemingly going off. Apparently one of the te...

 
Law junk photo
Law junk

Every video game delayed in the UK (Fauxclusive)

Following the enactment of the Consumer Rights Act 2015, which guarantees a refund for any digital video game purchase if they are found to be faulty, not as described or not a quality product; every video game publisher announced this mo...

 
The New Normal photo
The New Normal

Major game studios ask that you just lower your standards from now on (Fauxclusive)

Following reports from video game QA testers that the industry hasn’t learned from the errors of the past, publishers and developers around the world today asked gamers to just lower their standards from here on out. Instead of trying...

 
Apple TV photo
Apple TV

New Apple TV promises to bring gaming all the way into 2006 (Fauxclusive)

As predicted for nearly a decade, Tim Cook announced at Apple's September Event that the next iteration of the Apple TV will be able to play games. With a new motion-sensing controller and titles such as Guitar Hero hitting the system, Appl...

 
Notch Tweets photo
Notch Tweets

Markus 'Notch' Persson posts vague tweets just to fuck with media (Fauxclusive)

Markus “Notch” Persson opened up on Twitter this weekend, posting several tweets lamenting that life as an celebrity isn't all it's cracked up to be. The tweets became a news sensation as several high-profile websites painted Pe...

 
New Patent photo
New Patent

Nintendo files patent for first sales-less console (Fauxclusive)

The discovery of two new patents filed by gaming giant Nintendo earlier this year may give us a peek into the future of the company. The first, as reported on Saturday, is for a disc-less home console. The second patent, which was discovere...

 
Don't speak photo
Don't speak

Nintendo will now duct tape employee mouths shut before they go home for the day (Fauxclusive)

Following the dismissal of Nintendo Treehouse employee Chris Pranger over comments he made in a Part-Time Gamers podcast, Nintendo of America told employees that beginning next week the company will start physically taping their mouths sh...

 
Pro Game Journo photo
Pro Game Journo

Video games journalist is total big shot at high school reunion (Fauxclusive)

Students attending the Monroe High School Class of 2005 10-Year Reunion say the most memorable aspect of the night was neither the catering by In-N-Out Burger nor the Wolfmother cover band. No, these students say the thing they’ll r...

 
Kickstarter photo
Kickstarter

Keiji Inafune: Is it too soon to start my next Kickstarter? (Fauxclusive)

Game developer Keiji Inafune asked himself today if it was too soon for him to start his next Kickstarter campaign. In the minutes following Red Ash's Kickstarter failure, Inafune paced around his office mentally going through his back cata...

 
Rocket League photo
Rocket League

Live action Rocket League game ends in tragedy (Fauxclusive)

The bodies are still being pulled from the flaming wreckage of an 8-car accident after Tennessee teens tried to recreate the hit video game Rocket League. Organized by 16-year-old Bryan Song of Big Sandy, the game took place in an empty l...

 
Pixels on Rotten Tomatoes photo
Pixels on Rotten Tomatoes

Some jerk ruined Pixels' perfect zero Rotten Tomatoes score

Look, we all knew from watching the trailer that Adam Sandler's 1980s video game-themed Pixels was going to be bad. That much was clear. So when Twitter was abuzz this morning about its zero percent Rotten Tomatoes score, nobody was su...

 
Game changer photo
Game changer

Upcoming PhysX update introduces state of the art dick physics (Fauxclusive)

Game developers around the world will soon be able to create the most naturalistic penises ever when NVIDIA releases the next update for its popular PhysX SDK. Codenamed “Woody Womb Pecker,” the update is being called a game-c...

 
Animal Crossing photo
Animal Crossing

Fauxlusive: Nookling Junction dumps Trump

Trump, the Republican frontrunner for the 2016 Presidential nomination, has had a bit of a rough week after NBC and Macy's both parted ways with the reality TV star in light of comments he made about illegal immigrants. Today ther...

 
Mega64 nails it again photo
Mega64 nails it again

Entitled terrorists at Mega64 demand Nintendo cancel Metroid Prime: Federation Force

Mega64 never ceases to entertain me and its just-released Metroid Prime: Federation Force petition spoof is proof of that. I mentioned the petition during E3 and some people took it that I was attacking all Metroid fans and not j...

 
Xbox One photo
Xbox One

Introducing the Xbox One for women

One of the big takeaways from this year’s E3 is that women are a bigger presence in gaming than ever before. More than half of all games on display at this year’s show let players step in the shoes of a female character, inclu...

 
We eat here
Electronic Entertainment Expo, commonly known as E3, is an annual trade fair for the video game industry, presented by the Entertainment Software Association (ESA). It is used by many video game publishers and accessory manuf...   read

Nintendo E3 photo
Nintendo E3

Nintendo lost E3 because it failed to exceed my unreasonably high expectations

For me E3 didn’t start until Tuesday evening when, after a day of avoiding spoilers at work, I was able to sit down at my computer, open a bottle of wine and enjoy the annual Nintendo E3 Digital Event. As a life-long gamer with a pe...

 
 photo
8===D
 
Assassin's Creed E3 photo
Assassin's Creed E3

Ubisoft scrambling to make Assassin's Creed E3 demo more playable than final game

With just a few days until the start of E3, sources within Ubisoft say the company is doing everything possible to make the E3 demo of Assassin’s Creed: Syndicate the ultimate gaming experience -- unlike the broken, bug-filled turd of...

 
E3 2015 photo
E3 2015

E3 2015: A look back at the most memorable moments of E3

We are a week away from E3 2015, which is promising to be the most exciting yet. An estimated 50,000 people are expected to attend the three-day event to try out the latest and greatest video games from the top developers and publishers in ...

 
Fake Nintendo E3 Plans photo
Fake Nintendo E3 Plans

Randomly generate leaked Nintendo E3 plans

It is almost time for E3 2015 which means lots of leaks are about to start pouring onto the internet, most of which are fake. Brian Lee made a website to save hoaxers some time as it randomly generates an itinerary for the Nintendo Digital ...

 
Sony E3 photo
Sony E3

Sony remastering its 2010 E3 press conference for 2015

After admitting it has nothing worthwhile to show for the rest of 2015, Sony today confirmed rumors it will be remastering its 2010 press conference for this year’s E3. Called “Sony 2010 Press Conference: The DE3finitive&nb...

 
Wave 4 amiibo photo
Wave 4 amiibo

Wave 4 amiibo launch a bust after only 10 people trampled to death

The highly anticipated fourth wave of amiibo figures hit stores today and by all accounts sold out within a matter of minutes. This should be good news for Nintendo, but sources within the struggling video game company say management is ups...

 
Easy Joke photo
Easy Joke

Employee kidnappings up 500% after Doug Bowser begins work at Nintendo

The warm welcome for Doug Bowser, the new Vice President of Sales at Nintendo of America, is over after it was reported female employee kidnappings have increased 500% since he started earlier this week. More than 10 beautiful blonde empl...

 
Mobile Gear Solid photo
Mobile Gear Solid

Konami proves mobile is the future of gaming with Metal Gear Solid V iOS port

Last week, Konami announced its intention to focus on mobile gaming going forward, saying the platform is the future of the industry. This morning the company proved that even the most complicated console game can feel right at home on a ...

 
Cooking drama photo
Cooking drama

Male gamer faces unwanted catcalls, ogling at Cooking Mama competition

A recent Cooking Mama tournament in Portland, Oregon was mired in controversy after a series of posts on reddit exposed the rampant sexism that happened towards male competitors at the event. Kyle Phillips, who flew from Intercourse, PA t...

 

CJ AndriessenFeatured blogger

Just what the internet needs, yet another white guy writing about video games.

 

Reviews

The Climb"You rock, rock"

 

Soda Drinker Pro"Like explaining an inside joke to someone else"

 

King's Quest: Once Upon a Climb"A tale of two princesses"

 

Stories: The Path of Destinies"Choose your own adventure/death"

 

Koi"Fish out of water"

 

Severed"Cut my life into pieces / Slash into me"

 

ZEN Pinball 2: Aliens vs. Pinball"Not the Alien's most terrifying incarnation"

 

Alienation"Welcome to Earth"

 

Zenge"Slide, slide, slippity slide"

 
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DISCUSSIONS | setupPosts by everyone - post yours

Jinx 01

You never forget your Voodoo Banshee

 
hlarge4

So happy to hear From is fixing those covenants that are too You know the

 
ZoePapillon

The Jungle Book was no Zootopia but it was still rather

 
TheAngriestCarp

Just found out that a new Gamera film is in the works, and that Godzilla Resurgence releases in This is a good

 
Dr Mel

What kind of world is this, I ask you, when a man can come home from a hard days labor only to find a SPIDER in his coffee pot on the drainboard?! A spider he very nearly did not notice before making the coffee! How does life persist under such

 
drmcscott

That Nioh demo was a surprise, wasnt

 
The Dyslexic Laywer

Ive been playing Rhythm Thief and its a very charming game but i swear to God if it forces me to do another god awful motion control

 
Nekrosys

The more I think about it, the more I realise that I actually prefer Dark Souls 3 over It just feels that much less grindy, and having the ability to respec means I can keep fine-tuning my character when I find weapons I have a preference

 
OverlordZetta

And no one was

 
Rico the Penguin

NG++ Dancer has a number of I nearmy got angry before she ultimately Then went on to massacre the next twould bosses to cleanse my certain thing that shall remain nameless will be interesting

 
vxxyman

A lot of catgirl stuff Heres a cartoon penguin for variety:

 
Gamemaniac3434

Good Explored farron keep more, Had an unhelpful guide named rico try to help me find a covenant/a video that took a stupid route to the covenenant, chatted shit with larx till me voice was sore and died over and over against the abyss Mm

 
DanteKinkade

Way too many catgirl things so, welp here is another of the boy <3

 
Parismio

Came back to ds3 and still not being summoned for Its been 20 minutes

 
OverlordZetta

Pokemon Trainers! Out of nowhere, Spain has a Shiny Yveltal event and North America and Europe have a Regular Zygarde event going Dunno if these are ORAS exclusive or if XY are included too, but be sure to grab

 
Lex

So, I heard the Attack on Titan game is coming to the west and has an online component? The models could use some work,

 
iam16bit

Just seeing all these catgirl posts is making me

 
BlazeWii

Things always get whenever I

 
Dr Mel

My job aint But they buy me coffee made the way I like usually without even And thats just

 
Torchman

No comment

 
OverlordZetta

Friendly reminder that dogs

 
MeeGhoulz

you said?Now check whats going on in the couldnt help it!

 
ScionVyse

Gonna finally download Oris Definitive Edition tomorrow, since Im going to a place with internet that I can use to I cant wait to play a better version of my 2015

 
Sailor Zebes

Gotta get in on that cat girl

 
Occams

I could watch public access tv

 
Fuzunga

Before the day is done, have another picture of best cat Bonus bunny girl included!

 
Sir Shenanigans

Sitting down with a lot of coffee and a wee slice of creme brule to WATCH The

 
DSBrad

Beyond Two Souls is no where near as smart as it wants me to think it

 
Torchman

I sometimes wonder if I quickpost too then I tell myself thats a stupid thought and keep

 

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