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Pixels on Rotten Tomatoes photo
Pixels on Rotten Tomatoes

Some jerk ruined Pixels' perfect zero Rotten Tomatoes score

He probably did it for the clickbait
Jul 22
// Darren Nakamura
Look, we all knew from watching the trailer that Adam Sandler's 1980s video game-themed Pixels was going to be bad. That much was clear. So when Twitter was abuzz this morning about its zero percent Rotten Tomatoes score...
Game changer photo
Game changer

Upcoming PhysX update introduces state of the art dick physics (Fauxclusive)

Schlong live the new era of gaming
Jul 18
// CJ Andriessen
Game developers around the world will soon be able to create the most naturalistic penises ever when NVIDIA releases the next update for its popular PhysX SDK. Codenamed “Woody Womb Pecker,” the update is being ...
Animal Crossing photo
Animal Crossing

Fauxlusive: Nookling Junction dumps Trump

Dumpster behind store now super classy
Jul 03
// CJ Andriessen
Trump, the Republican frontrunner for the 2016 Presidential nomination, has had a bit of a rough week after NBC and Macy's both parted ways with the reality TV star in light of comments he made about illegal immigra...
Mega64 nails it again photo
Mega64 nails it again

Entitled terrorists at Mega64 demand Nintendo cancel Metroid Prime: Federation Force

Petitions are so OVER!
Jun 29
// Jed Whitaker
Mega64 never ceases to entertain me and its just-released Metroid Prime: Federation Force petition spoof is proof of that. I mentioned the petition during E3 and some people took it that I was attacking all Metroid ...
Xbox One photo
Xbox One

Introducing the Xbox One for women

This one's just for the ladies
Jun 24
// CJ Andriessen
One of the big takeaways from this year’s E3 is that women are a bigger presence in gaming than ever before. More than half of all games on display at this year’s show let players step in the shoes of a female c...

The hottest photos of the E3 show floor

Jun 17 // Niero Desu
Everybody was dancing to the fresh beats at the Sonic and Eggman Rap Experience. This must have taken like three whole hours at least! I bet (the artist) doesn't even know how Game of Thrones ended. That's called professionalism. Atari always goes all out at E3. Rattlecry puts you in command of giant baby snakes in an action-packed Battlefield mod set in 1492 Fallujah (spoiler alert) before Colombus arrives. I couldn't even pretend I wasn't looking at her tits during the whole presentation. Busted! Dicks everywhere. Everywhere. They even had the brand new Ford Forza right there!  Forza is slang for "Fisting" in German. Everybody took photos with Jonathan Holmes. He didn't even charge money to the big kids. No cutting in the Occulus dating demo! We all took turns kicking her until she got in line. What. Who? There he goes. Moving across the water. Turning my whole world around.
We eat here photo
Wish you were here
Electronic Entertainment Expo, commonly known as E3, is an annual trade fair for the video game industry, presented by the Entertainment Software Association (ESA). It is used by many video game publishers and accessory manuf...

Nintendo E3 photo
Nintendo E3

Nintendo lost E3 because it failed to exceed my unreasonably high expectations

Why won't Nintendo do what I want?
Jun 17
// CJ Andriessen
For me E3 didn’t start until Tuesday evening when, after a day of avoiding spoilers at work, I was able to sit down at my computer, open a bottle of wine and enjoy the annual Nintendo E3 Digital Event. As a life-long ...

E3: The Last Guardian booth tour

Found it
Jun 14
// Niero Desu
Assassin's Creed E3 photo
Assassin's Creed E3

Ubisoft scrambling to make Assassin's Creed E3 demo more playable than final game

Disappearing face epidemic under control
Jun 12
// CJ Andriessen
With just a few days until the start of E3, sources within Ubisoft say the company is doing everything possible to make the E3 demo of Assassin’s Creed: Syndicate the ultimate gaming experience -- unlike the broken, bug...
E3 2015 photo
E3 2015

E3 2015: A look back at the most memorable moments of E3

Do you remember these classic moments?
Jun 08
// CJ Andriessen
We are a week away from E3 2015, which is promising to be the most exciting yet. An estimated 50,000 people are expected to attend the three-day event to try out the latest and greatest video games from the top developers and...
Fake Nintendo E3 Plans photo
Fake Nintendo E3 Plans

Randomly generate leaked Nintendo E3 plans

Metroid: Feminist
Jun 07
// Jed Whitaker
It is almost time for E3 2015 which means lots of leaks are about to start pouring onto the internet, most of which are fake. Brian Lee made a website to save hoaxers some time as it randomly generates an itinerary for the Ni...
Sony E3 photo
Sony E3

Sony remastering its 2010 E3 press conference for 2015

Call it an E3peat
Jun 01
// CJ Andriessen
After admitting it has nothing worthwhile to show for the rest of 2015, Sony today confirmed rumors it will be remastering its 2010 press conference for this year’s E3. Called “Sony 2010 Press Conference: The ...
Wave 4 amiibo photo
Wave 4 amiibo

Wave 4 amiibo launch a bust after only 10 people trampled to death

That's one for every Robin made
May 29
// CJ Andriessen
The highly anticipated fourth wave of amiibo figures hit stores today and by all accounts sold out within a matter of minutes. This should be good news for Nintendo, but sources within the struggling video game company say ma...
Easy Joke photo
Easy Joke

Employee kidnappings up 500% after Doug Bowser begins work at Nintendo

Bob Ganondorf in billing also suspected
May 22
// CJ Andriessen
The warm welcome for Doug Bowser, the new Vice President of Sales at Nintendo of America, is over after it was reported female employee kidnappings have increased 500% since he started earlier this week. More than 10 beauti...
Mobile Gear Solid photo
Mobile Gear Solid

Konami proves mobile is the future of gaming with Metal Gear Solid V iOS port

Apple Watch version under consideration
May 18
// CJ Andriessen
Last week, Konami announced its intention to focus on mobile gaming going forward, saying the platform is the future of the industry. This morning the company proved that even the most complicated console game can feel righ...
Cooking drama photo
Cooking drama

Male gamer faces unwanted catcalls, ogling at Cooking Mama competition

May 11
// CJ Andriessen
A recent Cooking Mama tournament in Portland, Oregon was mired in controversy after a series of posts on reddit exposed the rampant sexism that happened towards male competitors at the event. Kyle Phillips, who flew from In...
Fake Game News photo
Fake Game News

Madden 16 simulation predicts which players will be arrested this season

Hide their kids, hide their wives
May 04
// CJ Andriessen
The launch of Madden 16 is still months away and while many of the new game mechanics and features are being kept a secret, the developers today did reveal one addition to the storied franchise that will tell gamers which NFL...
Reverse-Censoring photo

Publisher reverse-censoring upcoming FPS for Japanese audiences

Bigger guns, bigger boobs, bigger everything!
Apr 27
// CJ Andriessen
On July 15, gamers in the U.S. and Europe will get their hands on the highly anticipated first-person shooter The Kill Squad. The title, developed by Gunner Games, will also see a release in Japan but players there will have ...
C.A.T. PRO X photo

Mad Catz' newest peripheral is an actual, living cat

Introducing the C.A.T. PRO X
Mar 03
// Kyle MacGregor
Mad Catz unveiled its latest gaming peripheral today, the revolutionary C.A.T. PRO X. The hot new accessory is a small, domestic mammal that can be used to cradle a mobile phone, PlayStation Vita, or other similar device...
Promoted blog photo
Promoted blog

Kickstarter launched for spiritual successor to EarthBound, Mach Rider, SimEarth

Promoted from our Community Blogs
Feb 14
// CJ Andriessen
[Just in time for Valentine's Day. -Mr Andy Dixon] Fans of Ecco the Dolphin, Mega Man Legends, Duck Hunt and Advent Rising should head to Kickstarter right away to throw their support behind a new campaign for a game that is a spiritual successor to those titles and any other game you one time said you’d want a sequel to in a chatroom or comment thread.
Amiibo photo

Nintendo: Next wave of amiibo to be eBay exclusive

More news at 11
Feb 12
// Kyle MacGregor
Newsbrief: Nintendo has unveiled a new plan to curb soaring amiibo prices on the secondary market, inking an exclusive new partnership with eBay seller xXxNoScopeXxX. The move is designed to cut out predatory middle...
Disclosure photo

I hope this video satisfies your desire for disclosure

It does satisfy my need for NITRO-FUELED MAYHEM
Jan 26
// Bill Zoeker
Here's the full triple-scoop disclosure bottom line. Alessandro and I went to cover this preview event for The Witcher 3: Wild Hunt last week. I was late to be added to the list, so we knew going in that we'd have to sh...
Chinese Holmes photo
Chinese Holmes

Jonathan Holmes' face broadcast to entirety of China

Promoted from our Community Blogs!
Dec 16
// arkane9
[A wild Holmes appears! --Mr Andy Dixon] After rising up the ranks at Destructoid and becoming Editor-in-Chief, Jonathan Holmes sets his eyes on China. The country is growing in both economy and power, but what Mr. Holmes' real goal is is currently unconfirmed. His recent appearance on the Chinese news channel CCTV 13 opens up room for speculation.
Promoted Blog photo
Promoted Blog

New Xbox One game simulates what itís like to own a PS4

Promoted from our Community Blogs!
Oct 31
// CJ Andriessen
[Dtoid community blogger Its About To Get Gay In Here is quickly becoming our resident satirist blogger. Here is a lovely example of them bringing both the funk and the noise. Want to see your own stuff appear on the front pa...
Sarkeesian photo

Here's Anita Sarkeesian speaking on the Colbert Report

'I'm well liked'
Oct 30
// Darren Nakamura
Objective videogame journalism time! Anita Sarkeesian was on The Colbert Report last night. Here are some videos of that. The one above shows Sarkeesian's interview with Colbert. The one below is Colbert's introduction segme...
Steam report photo
Steam report

Steam user delighted by crap in Steam inventory

Oct 29
// Kyle MacGregor
Upon booting up Steam this morning, Internet denizen Tiffany Park discovered a notification on the program indicating a number of new items were located in her Steam inventory. "I got really excited," Park told Dest...
Special teabag report photo
Special teabag report

Report: Gamer teabags opponent after narrow victory

Victim unsure as to why, psychologist explains
Oct 13
// Kyle MacGregor
An Xbox live user contacted Destructoid this week with a complaint of being excessively teabagged upon completion of an online multiplayer match in a popular action game. "I'm not sure why he was doing it," said victim Jeff M...

Gallery: The sexiest booth babes of Tokyo Game Show

Sep 18 // Niero Desu
GPS 2014 is so much fun!   I got to fly inside Tokyo City, which is a third country world that videogames were ejected from. The best thing about going to another country's videogame show is to see the latest innovations in thongs and drink badly spelled things from their vending machines. Wacky! Pictured: Koei Booth Actress. What a crazy leather outfit, can she breathe in that? Unlike in Our Great Civilization of West, this show is predominantly staffed by women (take notes, we could learn something!) who are forced to memorize like five pages of game information.  They spend months learning our language, too! Since I've worked in videogames so long and still own my Atari 2600 (it's in my living room!) I always quiz them on the spot to make sure they're not just models. Modeling is really ruining videogames and every time I teach people that on Twitter they follow me around. Pictured: This girl knew her stuff! She's not holding videogames back 100 years I hate to make Stereotypefaces, but in my experience Japanese women do look impressed when I walk right up and say "Moshi Moshi"! Trying to learn a little Japanese is just good manners. Another easy one is "chotto" which means "cut me open." Just don't ask for their phone numbers unless you know your Itchy Nissans. Like the old and best E3s of yesteryear, Tokyo Gamescom gets in trouble every year for inspiring pubic negligence, but who am I to judge? I don't go to that Europino to tell people about the advances in Western dental care. Like my dad always says, "When in Rome, eat the pizza or you're wrong." Pictured: Smoking Squenix Sisters! What sort of emotional scarring do those eyes tell? I could not believe my eyes how not Western this show was! People you live next to would be like, "Well well, nobody at my bank wears that," and that's called Lost in Transgender, which is a great movie that white people like to see before trying to make friends with Koreans. Put your pumpkin spice latte down and get a load of this beauty: Pictured: Some mobile company. Do you think she cries when she sees hamburgers? My friend Dale said she couldn't find a single Nigerian man dressed as Persona 4, but we did meet hundreds of beautiful Orients and took photos of them in their natural habitats. Professional blogger tip: I always asked if I could take their photo, because they sort of threw my black friend into jail for not getting a video waiver. Watch out for that karate chop! That's all for day one of Tonka Games Show 2014. For pointy elbows see this gallery! Note: Some photos may have been slightly Photosharpened for Western Twitter decency standards.
TGS booth babes photo
Super sexy! Click every picture thrice and Myspace it
The moment all you college dudes have been waiting for is here! So make sure your boss isn't looking and get ready to steamboat the weasel, because I need the pageviews and my gallery is the tits!

E3 secret leaks photo
We've left no stone unturned!
We've gotten our hands on some verifiable official E3 2014 leaks and secrets and we're spilling the beans. Find out what's in store from Microsoft, Nintendo, Ubisoft, Epic Games, EA, and all the other big companies making important announcements. Get a sneak peek at news about Battlefield 5, a new Nintendo MMO, Destiny, and all every other E3 reveal and announcement.

Jimquisition: Gamer Guys

Jul 08 // Jim Sterling
Jimquisition happens every Monday!
Jimquisition travels to another time and another place, examining a world taken over by gamer guys and their testosterone-addled inanity. Something must be done! Fortunately, your ol' pal Jim Sterling is here to take those insincere culture thieves down a peg, and put gaming in the hands of those to whom it belongs. Welcome to the Sarkybastardverse, which is definitely a real thing now.

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