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3:30 PM on 10.25.2014

Talking about the Tequila Basement while playing 50 Cent: Blood on the Sand

We're reaching the end of our stupid drunken 50 Cent: Blood on the Sand stream, and not getting any more coherent. We shared our tales of drinking tequila in a basement with actual real-world videogame publisher, Devolver Di...

Bill Zoeker


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'Time is literally running out': Lengthy look at Quantum Break photo
'Time is literally running out': Lengthy look at Quantum Break
by Steven Hansen

Have we even seen this much Quantum Break gameplay? The half television show, half videogame from the developers of Max Payne and Alan Wake is coming to Xbox One next year.

Everything about this is hokey and trite, a Marvel comic in a leather jacket ensconced button up with less color. It also has a pretty nice look to it compared to other photorealistic games. There's some color and good lighting there. It's like a not gross and exclusively piss-covered Deus Ex: Human Revolution.

It's winning me over for the first time though through technical marvel but because that initial bit of combat starts with shrug inducing third-person cover boredom before moving to Singularity-reminiscent time powers--gained by being involved in a freak accident that is killing time--that seems to encourage scaled back, Vanquish-style movement. Active gunplay. Like, there could be a good action game under all this pomp instead of what easily could've been lazy cover-based shooting gluing a bad plot together? 

I still don't want to sit through the TV show, though, especially when it looks as if the game will have more than enough cutscenes and non-interactive bits.

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Beating Spelunky on a dance pad is quite the remarkable feat photo
Beating Spelunky on a dance pad is quite the remarkable feat
by Brett Makedonski


Spelunky players are always finding new and interesting ways to torture themselves. Let's face it -- besting Spelunky's unforgiving randomly generated mazes is an accomplishment unto itself. Learning to do it with your feet is a completely different level of insane dedication.

But, that's what one Twitch streamer did to celebrate getting to 1,000 followers -- he mastered Spelunky's directional controls on a dance pad, and used a controller for the buttons. With the assistance of an early jetpack, he marched right through the game and dropped Olmec to his death.

Not too shabby for something that the majority of players couldn't do with their hands.

Spelunky, Beaten With A Dance Pad Controller [Kotaku]

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If 50 Cent: Blood on the Sand were about Eminem, it might be like Deadpool photo
If 50 Cent: Blood on the Sand were about Eminem, it might be like Deadpool
by Bill Zoeker

In this segment of our drunken 50 Cent: Blood on the Sand stream, I think we're mostly just getting drowsy. Max talks about the evolution of Eminem and I yell at my roommate for texting me about laundry during the stream.

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All the Smash Bros. Wii U facts, differences from 3DS version photo
All the Smash Bros. Wii U facts, differences from 3DS version
by Steven Hansen

Alright. If Smash Bros. 3DS is at least a little sparse, this video makes it feel all the more sparse. I mean, Event Mode is back. And there's a separate two-player Event Mode. 

Watch along with the video above, or read along with my jumbled attempts at saving you 35 minutes by jotting down all this new information on the Wii U version of Super Smash Bros., which is just a month away.

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We wanted to play 'Ninja Mystery,' the game inside 50 Cent: Blood on the Sand photo
We wanted to play 'Ninja Mystery,' the game inside 50 Cent: Blood on the Sand
by Bill Zoeker

Max and I are really getting goofy on Bacardi and Vitamin Water in this portion of our live playthrough of 50 Cent: Blood on the Sand. We discover an awesome arcade cabinet called Ninja Mystery in the game. We also talk about how we like to laugh, and eat pizza, and hug, and how our favorite kind of animal is a dog named Henry; but you wouldn't know him because he lives two towns over and goes to a different school.

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Pay phones are swear stores in 50 Cent: Blood on the Sand photo
Pay phones are swear stores in 50 Cent: Blood on the Sand
by Bill Zoeker

Max and I are getting steadily more drunk in this segment of our 50 Cent: Blood on the Sand livestream. We get a little drunkenly political, considerably more stupid, and start to wonder if Nick Robinson will ever show up.

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We learned Fiddy doesn't need to move his mouth to swear in 50 Cent: Blood on the Sand  photo
We learned Fiddy doesn't need to move his mouth to swear in 50 Cent: Blood on the Sand
by Bill Zoeker

Watch the slow progression of our drunken stupidity as we continue to trudge through 50 Cent: Blood on the Sand. In this segment, I try to make my Bacardi and Vitamin Water cocktail less terrible with lime juice, sadly to no avail. Then Max and I poop a bunch of nonsense from our mouths, as usual.

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We don't recommend eating a whole turkey before you play Borderlands: The Pre-Sequel photo
We don't recommend eating a whole turkey before you play Borderlands: The Pre-Sequel
by Bill Zoeker

Max and I round out the first hour of Borderlands: The Pre-Sequel with groggy, terrible jokes. We also talked about the mysteries of Boz Scaggs. And... stuff.

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We formed a gang called Youngsters With Gumption while playing 50 Cent: Blood on the Sand photo
We formed a gang called Youngsters With Gumption while playing 50 Cent: Blood on the Sand
by Bill Zoeker

Max and I got drunk and played 50 Cent: Blood on the Sand on Destructoid Twitch channel, because we’re idiots. In this installment, the boys discuss Eazy E, Rocky IV, Obie Trice, and ghetto workout videos.

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Hardline: 33 - The Evil Within or without, Mordor as a dating sim, and the deplorable 'Hatred' photo
Hardline: 33 - The Evil Within or without, Mordor as a dating sim, and the deplorable 'Hatred'
by Jordan Devore

This week on Hardline, Brett, Steven, and Jordan talk about Shinji Mikami's latest horror game, The Evil Within, and Hatred, a game that's just plain horrific.

On a lighter note, there's also a discussion about recent features including why Shadow of Mordor should've been a dating sim and that time some of us got angry and broke controllers.

For the audio-only episode, you can subscribe on iTunes and RSS or download directly.

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We played 50 Cent: Blood on the Sand and drank the world's worst cocktails photo
We played 50 Cent: Blood on the Sand and drank the world's worst cocktails
by Bill Zoeker

A little while ago, Max and I decided that the best use of our time would be to get absolutely sh*thouse hammered drunk and play 50 Cent: Blood On The Sand on the Destructoid Twitch channel, and because we want to share this incredible experience with the world, we're uploading the whole shitshow onto YouTube for your viewing pleasure.

In this first installment, we get off to a rolling start, and Max has to take a phone call from his mother. So, here's Max talking to his mom on the phone. Yeah.

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I think I started developing Space Madness playing Borderlands: The Pre-Sequel photo
I think I started developing Space Madness playing Borderlands: The Pre-Sequel
by Bill Zoeker

Max and I finally made it to Pandora's moon, Elpis, in Borderlands: The Pre-Sequel. We're really spacing out at this point, but luckily I was bringing bad jokes and impromptu singing in full effect.

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Max got turned on by my sexy cowlady in Borderlands: The Pre-Sequel photo
Max got turned on by my sexy cowlady in Borderlands: The Pre-Sequel
by Bill Zoeker

Max and I continue to grope around blindly in Borderlands: The Pre-Sequel. Hear us talk about space-related camp movies, and make NBA Jam references. Then Max gets really horny about videogames. Oh, and we shoot psychopaths or whatever...

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I whipped everyone in the first 15 minutes of Borderlands: The Pre-Sequel photo
I whipped everyone in the first 15 minutes of Borderlands: The Pre-Sequel
by Bill Zoeker

Max and I jumped into Borderlands: The Pre-Sequel so we could hang out with Sp'Australians (Space Australians), and look for Moon Wizards. Max doesn't really care for Borderlands, but I'm a big old dork for it. At least we can agree it's more interesting than Destiny.

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Here's 26 minutes of Far Cry 4 gameplay with commentary photo
Here's 26 minutes of Far Cry 4 gameplay with commentary
by Bill Zoeker

Max and I got a chance to dick around in an almost-finished build of Far Cry 4, but unfortunately Max went home sick with an earache, so here's my playthrough, along with my impressions. And Max's dumb jokes.

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