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8:00 PM on 10.20.2014

We learned Fiddy doesn't need to move his mouth to swear in 50 Cent: Blood on the Sand

Watch the slow progression of our drunken stupidity as we continue to trudge through 50 Cent: Blood on the Sand. In this segment, I try to make my Bacardi and Vitamin Water cocktail less terrible with lime juice, sadly to no avail. Then Max and I poop a bunch of nonsense from our mouths, as usual.

Bill Zoeker


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We don't recommend eating a whole turkey before you play Borderlands: The Pre-Sequel photo
We don't recommend eating a whole turkey before you play Borderlands: The Pre-Sequel
by Bill Zoeker

Max and I round out the first hour of Borderlands: The Pre-Sequel with groggy, terrible jokes. We also talked about the mysteries of Boz Scaggs. And... stuff.

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We formed a gang called Youngsters With Gumption while playing 50 Cent: Blood on the Sand photo
We formed a gang called Youngsters With Gumption while playing 50 Cent: Blood on the Sand
by Bill Zoeker

Max and I got drunk and played 50 Cent: Blood on the Sand on Destructoid Twitch channel, because we’re idiots. In this installment, the boys discuss Eazy E, Rocky IV, Obie Trice, and ghetto workout videos.

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We played 50 Cent: Blood on the Sand and drank the world's worst cocktails photo
We played 50 Cent: Blood on the Sand and drank the world's worst cocktails
by Bill Zoeker

A little while ago, Max and I decided that the best use of our time would be to get absolutely sh*thouse hammered drunk and play 50 Cent: Blood On The Sand on the Destructoid Twitch channel, and because we want to share this incredible experience with the world, we're uploading the whole shitshow onto YouTube for your viewing pleasure.

In this first installment, we get off to a rolling start, and Max has to take a phone call from his mother. So, here's Max talking to his mom on the phone. Yeah.

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I think I started developing Space Madness playing Borderlands: The Pre-Sequel photo
I think I started developing Space Madness playing Borderlands: The Pre-Sequel
by Bill Zoeker

Max and I finally made it to Pandora's moon, Elpis, in Borderlands: The Pre-Sequel. We're really spacing out at this point, but luckily I was bringing bad jokes and impromptu singing in full effect.

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Max got turned on by my sexy cowlady in Borderlands: The Pre-Sequel photo
Max got turned on by my sexy cowlady in Borderlands: The Pre-Sequel
by Bill Zoeker

Max and I continue to grope around blindly in Borderlands: The Pre-Sequel. Hear us talk about space-related camp movies, and make NBA Jam references. Then Max gets really horny about videogames. Oh, and we shoot psychopaths or whatever...

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I whipped everyone in the first 15 minutes of Borderlands: The Pre-Sequel photo
I whipped everyone in the first 15 minutes of Borderlands: The Pre-Sequel
by Bill Zoeker

Max and I jumped into Borderlands: The Pre-Sequel so we could hang out with Sp'Australians (Space Australians), and look for Moon Wizards. Max doesn't really care for Borderlands, but I'm a big old dork for it. At least we can agree it's more interesting than Destiny.

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1:00 PM on 10.13.2014

Watch this purple robot murder a small boy repeatedly

Today on Just Saiyan: The Dragon Ball Advanced Adventure saga: Bill and I get our asses kicked by this stupid Red Ribbon Army boss fight for most of the video. But, we tell some of our deepest darkest secrets while this is happening. 

Max Scoville



Watch us beat the last boss of Skyrim photo
Watch us beat the last boss of Skyrim
by Max Scoville



Okay, that's it. We're done. Skyrim is vanquished, and Ronnie James Dio can now mount his big clean tiger and ride it down into the midnight sea full of shiny diamonds like the eyes of a cat in the black and blue. Or something.

Who knows, maybe Dio's adventures in Skyrim will continue someday... But, Bill just showed up with a copy of Ride To Hell: Retribution, so I think we're gonna go play that instead.

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On Just Saiyan, we may be playing Dragon Ball, but we're thinking about Demolition Man photo
On Just Saiyan, we may be playing Dragon Ball, but we're thinking about Demolition Man
by Bill Zoeker

Max and I are beating up clones of General Metallitron in Dragon Ball: Advanced Adventure, and talking about licensed videogames, and how, at any given moment, you should probably be watching Demolition Man.

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Ronnie James Dio is lost in a cairn photo
Ronnie James Dio is lost in a cairn
by Max Scoville



My old roommate told me there's some trick to Skyrim dungeons where if you follow one of the walls all the way around, you'll find the exit, or something, but I never listened to him. I'm still actually mad because he buckled my frying pan by dunking it in cold water, so now it rises up in the middle, so when I cook eggs, they always run off to one side. He's a good guy, though. He played an archer with like a level 100 sneak, and then his PS3 bricked. Poor guy.

Here's some more of our Ronnie James Dio vi-DIO series. Ahem. Video. 

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2:30 PM on 10.09.2014

Ronnie James Dio kicks a little wagon around

Our ongoing look at what it would be like if the late heavy metal icon Ronnie James Dio continues his exploration of Skyrim. I like to think, in a decade or so, people will look back on this video series the same way they on that Ken Burns documentary about that thing that he did. 

Max Scoville



Just Saiyan is back with more Dragon Ball Advance Adventure! photo
Just Saiyan is back with more Dragon Ball Advance Adventure!
by Bill Zoeker

Max and I were finally able to resume our series of playing Dragon Ball games, and talking about which Dragon Ball characters are cool and sexually attractive. This is the first of many more to come, so enjoy... unless you don't like Dragon Ball, in which case; why did you click a post with "Saiyan" in the title?

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Let's play Skyrim and offend some Metallica fans photo
Let's play Skyrim and offend some Metallica fans
by Max Scoville

As Ronnie James Dio continues through the land of Skyrim on his stolen horse, we turn our magnifying glasses of journalistic criticism and nitpickery on Metallica and U2. What is the relationship between these two bands of musicians?

Watch our dumb video to find out. 

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Watch Dio throw a pot down some stairs and slay a dragon photo
Watch Dio throw a pot down some stairs and slay a dragon
by Max Scoville



In our ongoing attempts to break YouTube by uploading the dumbest things possible into it, thereby short-circuiting the Mother Brain and freeing us all from our virtual imprisonment, we've started the second chunk of our adventures in Skyrim as heavy metal legend Ronnie James Dio. This is a bad video made by dumb people, but those dumb people had fun making it, so there's that.

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Shadow of Mordor Playthough - Here's a Graug-sized portion of gameplay photo
Shadow of Mordor Playthough - Here's a Graug-sized portion of gameplay
by Bill Zoeker

[Note: I am currently in process of rendering and uploading all of the videos to the playlist. If you run out and want more, be sure to check back soon.]

Max and I decided it would be a good idea to shoot a playthrough of the opening chunk of the new Tolkien-verse action game, Middle Earth: Shadow of Mordor. As we got further into it, we realized that Shadow of Mordor is some of the most goddamn fun we've had in a game in a while. Above is the first video in our series. You can watch through the whole playlist if you want to see for yourself how badass this game is.

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