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I AM DRUNK

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We're playing 50 Cent: Blood on the Sand live on Twitch!


Air Bud on the stream gettin' tipsy
Oct 04
// Bill Zoeker
Max Scoville and I thought it would be a good idea to get drunk and play 50 Cent: Blood on the Sand, so we decided we will do exactly that, and stream it for you to watch live. We're stupidly drinking Bacardi and Vitamin Water in Fiddy's honor.  You can watch the stream here, or in the video player below.
PS4 vs. Xbox One photo
PS4 vs. Xbox One

Drunk Aussies weigh in on PS4 and Xbox One


THIS SOLVES EVERYTHING
Jul 22
// Tony Ponce
You heard the man, Microsoft. You must increase your porn capacity if you wish to succeed. PS4 vs Xbox One: Drunk Edition [YouTube via NeoGAF]
Dovahbear photo
Dovahbear

Go home, Dovahbear! You're drunk!


The third chapter in Dovahbear's epic Skyrim quest
Apr 07
// Tony Ponce
Dovahbear don't let sh*t get in his way. This is the third Skyrim Flash film by animator Joe Bowers. You may remember catching his original "Skyrim : Bear" cartoon or its sequel "Skyrim : Dovahbear," both which inspired...
Beercade photo
Beercade

Forget tickets! This arcade game gives you beer!


Beercade: The Last Barfighter will get you drunk
Feb 15
// Tony Ponce
Long before they became regarded as frivolous childhood amusements, the first arcade cabinets were installed in very adult establishments like bars and college hot spots. The marriage of gaming and alcohol consumption is a b...
Drunk at D.I.C.E. photo
Drunk at D.I.C.E.

Come on, montage! Drunk man crashes D.I.C.E. Awards


'Who gives a sh*t, this is Vegas!'
Feb 12
// Jordan Devore
Of everything to come out of the 2013 D.I.C.E. Summit last week, this undoubtedly brought me the most joy. Specifically, the moment I'm referring to happens at 2:07:30, when an intoxicated man jumped up on stage and wanted t...
Sweet, delicious beer photo
Sweet, delicious beer

BioWare co-founder talks beer and videogames


Taste the high country!
Feb 02
// Kyle MacGregor
Before you head out to your local barcade this evening please take a moment to heed the sage advice of BioWare co-founder turned beer connoisseur Dr. Greg Zeschuk. Joystiq recently sat down with the good doctor (at ...
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Party today with Dtoid, Intel & TigerDirect in Miami


We're bringing the games to Miami's first annual Holiday Technology Bash
Nov 20
// Rodimus Prime
TigerDirect's annual PC race for charity is back, and it kicks off with a killer party! Destructoid is returning to Miami for this special event co-hosted by Intel, and if you're reading this you're invited! Grab your golden ...

The ten best bars in videogames

Mar 15 // Chad Concelmo
After crash landing on desert planet Kerona, space janitor/hero Roger Wilco eventually makes his way to a bar in the small town of Ulence Flats. Inspired by the Mos Eisley Cantina in Star Wars, the Rocket Bar is an oasis filled with a wide variety of drunken aliens and lethal drinks. The highlight of the bar, though, is the slot machine in the corner of the dirty, sparse establishment. One of the most addictive parts of the game, the deadly slot machine minigame in Space Quest is an easy (and fun!) way to make a ton of money to buy a sleek new cruiser from the neighboring used spaceship emporium. Sure, three skull and crossbones will instantly kill you, but that is part of the fun! What’s a good St. Patty’s Day without a few near-death experiences?   Technically, the Chaos Theater is more of a concert venue than a bar. And even though you can’t buy drinks in the game, we all know there has to be a bar somewhere, hiding just off-screen. But the lure of secret alcoholic beverages aside, the real draw of the Chaos Theater is the venue’s central (and only) musical act: the Runaway Five. Spending a night listening to EarthBound’s awesome, ridiculous, six-person (?) jazz band would guarantee one of the best St. Patrick’s Days ever.   The bar in 1983 arcade game Tapper has both a positive and a negative. On the positive side, non-stop beer! In the game, you play a bartender that must serve frosty mugs of beer to an endless barrage of thirsty customers. Seriously, the beer never ends! On the negative side ... that beer is Budweiser.   There are, like, a thousand different bars in the corrupt, futuristic world of underrated classic Blade Runner for the PC. Okay, “a thousand” might be a bit of an exaggeration, but there are a lot. The most memorable of these is Taffy’s Bar, if only because it features a heinously bad stand-up comedy act in all its full, pre-rendered glory. But, seriously, if you haven’t played Blade Runner, play it. It is one of the best adventure games of all time.   It’s like my father always told me: A bar is never a real bar without a plethora of asari strippers. Thanks, dad!   To be honest, there is nothing really special about the bar/command center in the early hours of StarCraft II. It looks like most in-game bars. Outside of the alien head mounted on the wall, it looks like most of the dive bars I frequent in Los Angeles. What sets the bar apart is its inclusion of hardened (and hard drinkin’) Jim Raynor. Any place is made cooler with the inclusion of badass Jim Raynor. Heck, the command center of StarCraft II could have been set in a Ruby Tuesday and it someone would have felt awesome because of Jim Raynor.   Best name for a bar EVER! But they seriously need to fix the chandelier. That is a real safety hazard.   One of my favorite things about playing modern videogames -- especially ones with realistic art direction! -- is admiring some of the incredible in-game architecture. Quite possibly the coolest-looking bar/club in any videogame I have ever encountered is in Deus Ex: Human Revolution. The Hive is so visually interesting and well-designed that I would love to see it exist in real-life. I could easily see myself being a regular there, traveling through ventilation shafts, hacking computers, and making scandalous deals with crime bosses -- all while looking really cool.   There are many reasons that 7th Heaven in Final Fantasy VII is one of the best videogame bars of all time. 1) It is owned by Tifa Lockhart, arguably the best character in Final Fantasy VII. 2) Access to the bar’s secret meeting room is triggered by a pinball machine. (And I love pinball.) 3) When Tifa joins the other main characters on a mission, party member Barret’s four-year-old daughter is put in charge of the bar. A FOUR-YEAR-OLD IS PUT IN CHARGE OF THE BAR! My God, I would love to see what a bar run by a four-year-old would be like. Beyond amazing.   Of all the in-game bars on this list, no other one is as seedy, shady, dirty, and just plain gross as Lefty’s in the original Leisure Suit Larry. And, for that, it is awesome. Seriously, what other in-game bar will let the player drink, steal a ring from a disgusting bathroom, sleep with a hooker, escape from a room by jumping in a trash bin, and observe nude paintings of women in glorious EGA graphics like Lefty’s? Good ol’ Lefty’s. I feel dirty even describing it.   I am the first person to admit making a mistake. When I posted this list earlier today, many people called me out for not including the incredibly awesome SCUMM bar from The Secret of Monkey Island. I was shocked I forgot it. The bar made the short list, but, for some strange reason -- it must have been the work of LeChuck! -- it did not make the final cut. I slapped myself on the wrist and told myself I was an idiot for making such a stupid mistake. But then I saw this tweet. One of my gaming heroes, Ron Gilbert himself, noticed the exclusion. After my first reaction of "OMG RON GILBERT READ MY POST!" I immediately thought, "Oh my God, Ron Gilbert read my post. Uh oh." I knew I had to remedy the error. So, the SCUMM bar gets an honorable mention. I adore The Secret of Monkey Island and feel it deserves at least that. Sorry, Ron (and everyone!). (UPDATE: Ron Gilbert has forgiven me. Whew! I won't have to cry myself to sleep tonight.)   ----- What do you think? Do you know any other videogame bars that you would love to have a drink in? What are your plans for St. Patricks’ Day? Are you going to get drunk (again, not advocating)? Are you drunk right now? Heck, am I drunk right now?
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St. Patrick’s Day is this weekend, and, with that, comes a wonderful celebration of the patron saints and the arrival of Christianity in Ireland. Oh, who am I kidding? It’s St. Patrick’s Day: an excuse to we...

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The DTOID Show: Let's Get Drunk In Skyrim


Nov 10
// Max Scoville
Hey guys! Here's another thing I did with Skyrim last night. This particular adventure involved getting blackout drunk in The Bannered Mare tavern. Now, I don't know what constitutes spoilers, but this MIGHT CONTAIN SPOILERS...
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The DTOID Show: Max's Drunken Saints Row Rampage


Nov 09
// Max Scoville
I'm guessing some of you might've caught the MashTactics livestream of Saints Row The Third in which they gave away stuff and probably did some things. I was supposed to be in attendance with my giant purple dildo, but we ha...
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Drunk Game Review: Mortal Kombat


Apr 28
// Max Scoville
If you follow me on Twitter, you might recall my tweets last Thursday about getting hammered in Oakland and playing Mortal Kombat. This was, in fact, for work. Viking warlord Blake Morse asked me to be his new drinking buddy...
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New Destructoid Show: Unreal Tomb Raidin' DrunkNES


Mar 09
// Max Scoville
Hey dudes. We're back, and this time... We have a show. Another one. I mean, a new episode. Um. Today, we talk about how Wii game development has been back-burnered in favor of Pokemon and Zelda, AKA my favorite video games,...
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New Destructoid Show: We Dare to be Totally Rad at GDC


Mar 04
// Max Scoville
Ladies and gentlemen... GDC is coming to an end. I'm exhausted, braindead, and still making Charlie Sheen jokes in spite of the fact that I'm completely sick of them. That being said, today's stories are as follows: Ubisoft ...
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Hard Corps: Uprising has futuristic surfing


Dec 16
// Jordan Devore
It wouldn't be a proper side-scrolling game without a section where you inexplicably surf. Really, that's all that needs to be said of these new Hard Corps: Uprising screenshots. Unfortunately, it's not quite late enough in t...
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Hands-on with Lilt Line (featuring Ashley Davis)


Dec 13
// Jonathan Holmes
Ashley Davis (of Once Upon a Pixel and Hey Ash Watcha Playin' fame) and I got some quality time in with Lilt Line a few months ago at PAX, but we thought it best to save our impressions until the game was actually released. ...
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E3 10: Bit.Trip BEAT coming to iPhone/iPad, eat chips


Jun 18
// Jonathan Holmes
This week, we got some exclusive time with the developers of the Bit.Trip series. It was awesome. I can't tell you everything they shared with us, but I'll do my best to tell you what I can, starting with this bombshell. Bit...
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Insert fist in mouth: Deadly Premonition now available


Feb 23
// Jordan Devore
Deadly Premonition. Either you "get it," like us, or you're a normal human being and will never be able to comprehend what makes it so entertaining. Hopefully you have already seen these two posts on the game -- each contains...
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Sumotori Dreams: Drunken sumo wrestling for $4


Dec 19
// Jordan Devore
  You might not have the exact name, Sumotori Dreams, tattooed on your brain, but many of you will instantly recognize the game as soon as you start up this video. Usually, physics-based games require thinking, or some f...
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Those Xbox 360 wireless N adapters are out this week


Nov 10
// Jordan Devore
Yes, yes -- wireless functionality on the Xbox 360 does came at a fairly substantial price. What else is new? With that out of the way, let's talk about the newfangled wireless N adapters that became available this week. $100...
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The month in Xbox: Games on Demand, Avatars, and deals


Oct 09
// Jordan Devore
While it's freakishly convenient when companies cram all sorts of knowledge into their press releases, it also saddens me in a way. With an abundance of information, it can be hard to find room for the funny or otherwise offb...
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Red Dead Redemption screens are cooler than Westworld


Oct 09
// Jordan Devore
If there's one thing for me to take away from my time spent on Fallout 3, it's that exploration is one of my favorite things to do in games now that technology is catching up with our imaginations. Combine that with my longin...
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Spend an evening with some NES and Dreamcast papercraft


Jul 30
// Jordan Devore
Papercraft is easy to get overly excited about, there's no denying it. The problem, however, is seeing it all the way through. If any of you have a short attention span like I do, you can only make it a good thirty minutes be...






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