Indie developer Jon Blow, who hates being quoted, has been quoted as saying that social games like Farmville are evil and intentionally degrade the quality of a player's life.
"There's no other word for it except evil,"...
FarmVille and its evil cousins, FrontierVille and Mafia Wars, are everywhere you look these days, but now they're set to pop up in even more places as Zynga will launch some of their properties on Yahoo, says Next Gen. I...
A former Zynga employee has spilled the beans on boss Mark Pincus, alleging that he encourages the theft of ideas and going so far as to call the FarmVille developer evil.
The ex-worker claims that Pincus said these exa...
This week's Jimquisition was recorded in an apartment with busted air conditioning during a record-breaking heatwave. Yeah, that blazer was a mistake. Fortunately, the video doesn't pick up the intense amounts of leaking sal...
Facebook games are frighteningly popular and able to make huge amounts of money for very little investment. Nevertheless, major developers have thus far expressed a total disinterest in it, the latest being Bethesda's Todd Ho...
[as posted on Japanator]
I don't see Farmville or any of Zynga's other properties appealing to the Japanese public, but I guess I didn't see them appealing to me either. I'll admit that I'm addicted to Frontierville, Zynga'...
The fine editors of Destructoid are hard-hitting journalists dedicated to giving you, the hardcore gamer, all the facts fit to flaunt. This is why, for the past several days, we have been clobbering snakes, scaring bears, and...
Jul 21 //
From: Nick ChesterTo: Jim Sterling, Dale North, Conrad ZimmermanSubject: Why Does Jim Have So Many Fucking Chickens?
Is this necessary? Get a pen or something. Christ.
From: Jim SterlingTo: Nick Chester, Dale North, Conrad Zimmerman
Some of us are driven to achieve, Nick, and those chickens were part of an overall goal!
From: Conrad ZimmermanTo: Jim Sterling, Nick Chester, Dale North
Some of those are Geese. Need 9 of them for a quest line.
From: Jim SterlingTo: Conrad Zimmerman, Nick Chester, Dale North
Is this enough fucking chickens for you, Nick?
From: Nick ChesterTo: Jim Sterling, Conrad Zimmerman, Dale North
I'm more than happy to help out, but I am not going to be coming by to feed that many chickens. That's just silly.
From: Jim SterlingTo: Nick Chester, Conrad Zimmerman, Dale North
I won't lie Nick. I've bought too many chickens and it's kind of your fault so I'm gonna need them fed.
From: Dale NorthTo: Jim Sterling, Dale North, Conrad Zimmerman
Fuck guys!!!! Slow down!! B
Some of you may be siding with me on this clearly thorny issue, and some of you may be siding on Nick. If you're compelled to agree with Nick that I do own too many chickens and that he shouldn't be responsible for them, I'd like you to consider this piece of damning evidence, discovered on my Facebook Profile earlier this week:
I ask you: What is Nick Chester, he who has a problem with chickens?
I tell you: He is Nick Chester, and he IS the problem with chickens!
The fine editors of Destructoid are hard-hitting journalists dedicating to giving you, the hardcore gamer, all the facts fit to flaunt. This is why, for the
past several days, we have been clobbering snakes, scaring bears, a...
Jul 18 //
Jim Sterling On Thursday evening, Nick Chester, Dale North and myself set foot on the wild plains of FrontierVille. The plan was simple: Get into the game, become each other's neighbors, and then start doing as much obnoxious crap as possible in an attempt to break the game and have funny posts on Destructoid. However, the plan failed -- we did not break FrontierVille because FrontierVille broke us.
It all started when Nick Chester sent us all neighbor invites. We all sent each other requests and excitedly started making our homesteads all nice. Nick Chester was the first to discover that FrontierVille is packed full of sexual innuendo if you've got enough of a filthy mind.
"All I know is I've been doing a whole lot of whacking and I'm not sure how I feel about it," mused the editor-in-chief.
In order to build things you need to whack it. Makes no sense, but what it does mean is that your character's arm moves back and forth in a repetitive jerking motion while the word "whacking" appears above his head. And they let children play this game! Well, while Nick was upset about whacking, I offered him some bonus wood!
This game is fucking sick.
Unfortunately, this was the least of our problems, as we quickly discovered that we didn't know how to add each other as neighbors, thus exposing the fact that we've all been on Facebook for years, but have no idea how that shit actually works. We could send the neighbor requests just fine, but as you can see here:
Things did not go according to plan.
Oh, and Nick's suggestion didn't work.
Conrad Zimmerman had joined us by now but things weren't getting easier, and we realized something -- we were so used to our so-called hardcore videogames with their intuitive menus and convenient gameplay mechanics, that we actually did not know how to play a game enjoyed by out-of-touch, technologically blind housewives around the world. As Nick said:
"This game is too casual for us hardcore gamers. It's probably so obvious how to accept a request, but hell if I can figure it out. I sent you a goat, though."
We expected it to be easy, dumbed down for the casual masses. If you get a message on Facebook saying that you've been added as a neighbor, one should reasonably expect there to be a handy link letting you swiftly add that person. No link is there, though. It was eventually Conrad who figured out that you have to go to the Facebook mainpage, navigate to the right tab, scroll down to Requests, and find the FrontierVille request section. That's right, you have to leave the game in order to add your friends.
This lack of convenient navigation is something FrontierVille is full off. From adding friends to accepting gifts and items, everything takes you out of the gameplay experience. As hardcore gamers, we don't expect to be shunted around an archaic menu system, waiting for a brand new screen to load every single time we want to interact with someone or something. It's frustrating and it's a waste of time, and as you've seen here, it's such an alien concept to us that we actually didn't understand how to deal with it.
That wasn't the worst of it, though. Tune in next time to find out how FrontierVille is more sinister than even the trite jokes make it out to be.
The fine editors of Destructoid are hard-hitting journalists dedicating to giving you, the hardcore gamer, all the facts fit to flaunt. This is why, for the past several days, we have been clobbering snakes, scaring bears, an...