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Fat Kids

Super Meat Boy photo
Super Meat Boy

Surprise! Kids are annoying and god awful at Super Meat Boy


Get off my lawn
Feb 18
// Brett Makedonski
Look, I hate these posts as much as the next guy, alright? Kids. Yuck. Some people devote their lives to raising these little piles of germs with suspect motor skills. Even my dumb parents were foolish enough to fall into th...
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Get on your travelling pants and find some sisterhood
Max and I were having a laugh at all of the stupid garbage comments on our recent breakout Call of Duty video, and thought it would be a good idea to share the laughter with our not stupid garbage viewers (you).

Tropes vs Fat Guys photo
Tropes vs Fat Guys

Let's look at Tropes Vs. Fat Guys in Videogames


Promoted from our Community Blogs!
Oct 28
// Benny Disco
[Dtoid community blogger Benny Disco takes a look at another common gaming trope. Want to see your own blog appear on our front page? Go write something! --Mr Andy Dixon (who is also fat)] After reading Jonathan Holmes' fasci...
Workout photo
Workout

Virtual reality is the future of treadmills ... I think?


Harder, Better, Faster, Sweatier
Apr 19
// Allistair Pinsof
You don't need a gym when you have a 3DS and elliptical machine, I've realized in recent months. Playing Fire Emblem while working my calfs is both great fun and great fitness, yet my mind has been wondering what else is out...
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UK teachers protecting the young with ignorance


Apr 03
// Fraser Brown
Teachers here in Blighty are concerned. They aren't worried about how the curriculum doesn't prepare kids for the real world or how they've simply become training camps for university, no. It's videogames that appear to be ge...
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Study: Wii doesn't make fat kids not fat


Feb 27
// Liam Fisher
Nintendo's Wii and the motion control trend that followed gave seemed like the game industry's answer to inactive youth. As games have grown in popularity, kids have spent less and less time outside and, logically, "active" g...
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Gamer loses 224 pounds playing Rock Band


Dec 30
// Dale North
Note: Our own Jim Sterling confirms that he is not the kid in question. In that strange world where they use odd measurements like stone lives a gamer named Marc Rodwell. Marc's overeating of curry, pizza and soda had him lit...
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Winners of The Destructoid Show's 3DS Destruction Contest


Jul 19
// Max Scoville
If you watch The Destructoid Show, you'll know we've been doing a contest to give away three Catalyst 3DS cases, sponsored by the fine folks at CM4. Of course, since we're a gaggle of idiot children, the contest was "make a p...

Why do the kids love Call of Duty?

Jul 10 // Jonathan Holmes
From there, I asked all my parent friends if their children were into Call of Duty. With the exception of the few who have a total ban on videogames and television, they were unanimous. Their kids thought Call of Duty was cool, regardless of whether they've played it or not. Even the kids that weren't into the series reported that everyone knows that Call of Duty is either "cool" or "super cool." Not quite as cool as Harry Potter or Justin Bieber, but still pretty cool. So why is it that kids love -- or at least respect -- Call of Duty? How is it that they've even played these games? Aren't they rated M for mature? Here are a few theories. It's M for mature Ever since the ESRB came into effect, I've noticed an inverse relationship between a game's rating and a game's target audience. Everyone I know who's over 40 only plays games that are rated E (assuming they play videogames at all), those under 40 are willing to play games that are either E, T, or M, and those under 20 tend to be particularly attracted to M-rated games. This seems to be particularly true of kids under ten. It's the same old paradigm -- kids want to be grown ups, and grown ups want to be kids again. That's pretty much common knowledge when it comes to lightweight sociology. Even still, it's surprising to me how much younger kids are attracted specifically to videogames that are supposedly made for adults, while they are content with "age appropriate" books and music. These kids have no interest in The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo or the music of Tom Waits. They're totally content with kid-friendly fair, like the previously mentioned Harry Potter and Justin Bieber. So what do Bieber, Call of Duty, and Harry Potter all have in common? A childlike simplicity Today's kids have grown up under the shadow of 9/11 and the wars that followed. All they've ever known is a world in which some strange men from a strange country may end up killing innocent Americans. Wrapping your head around the religious, political, geo-financial, and cultural dynamics of the War on Terror is hard enough for adults, let alone kids. The Call of Duty series takes war and terrorism and turns it into a game. You've got a gun, and you and your team have to shoot the bad guys. That's really all there is to it, at least on the surface. While Activision definitely makes a token effort to present the series as more complex than that, it's arguable that the majority of Call of Duty fans couldn't care less about the series' narrative. You don't need to pay attention to the story to know what to do in a Call of Duty game. All you need to know is that you're one of the good guys, the other guys are bad, and that the path to awesomeness is paved with the dead bodies of your enemies.  If I were a little kid today, terrified and confused by the concepts of war and terrorism, I'd be all about Call of Duty. On one hand, the games makes the player feel empowered and turns war into a just another game, where death is no big deal and killing is fun. That's a much easier pill to swallow than the reality of modern warfare and the death that accompanies it. Speaking of reality... It looks so real One of the biggest selling points for the Call of Duty series is its graphics. The explosions, the backgrounds, and the characters look more real than most games. Personally, it's been a long time since I've been impressed with a game for just its realistic graphics. Sure, if a game uses a realistic look to show us something interesting or imaginative, I wouldn't be opposed to it, but realism for realism's sake does nothing for me. It's like a magic trick -- when you're kid, seeing a guy pull a quarter out of your ear can transport your brain to a truly amazing place. Part of you knows it must be sleight of hand, but another part of you believes that maybe the impossible is reality. When those two parts of the brain meet, magic happens.  That magic is ruined once you've looked behind the curtain. When you know how a trick is done, your childlike sense of wonder gets turned off, and your cynical "adult" brain turns on. The same goes for graphics. When all you think of when you see a "realistic"-looking game is photographs of real objects applied as texture maps, motion capture actors, particle effects, a millions of dollars worth of rendering software, the magic is gone. For most kids, none of that applies. Suspension of disbelief is a much easier feat to achieve for a young mind. When they see a realistic-looking game, they don't think about how it was made, or how much it cost to produce. They just think about how awesome it looks, and how fun it is to be in the game's world. The Call of Duty series feels more real to a kid than it ever will for me, and in that way, I envy the children. And finally... Competition is everything There isn't too much to say about this one. Call of Duty multiplayer is highly competitive; just as a kid is more likely to get deeply invested emotionally in a game of dodgeball or Pokemon cards, they're also more likely to get invested in competing in an online shooter. Adults are usually too caught up in real-life pursuits like making money, finding love, and keeping from getting too fat or otherwise shortening their lifespan. Kids don't have to worry about that stuff, so by comparison, games like Call of Duty and others feels like a much bigger deal to them. In their world, ranking yourself and your peers based on stuff like your skill and dedication to gaming makes perfect sense. This really hit home for me when I overheard my video producer Andy talking to his twelve-year-old nephew about Call of Duty: Black Ops. Growing up, Andy was his nephew's idol. Apparently, things have changed now that Call of Duty: Black Ops has entered their lives. The nephew wanted to know how many times Andy had "prestiged" in the game. Andy said, "Once, then I quit playing because I'd seen everything the game had to show me." The nephew looked appalled. "Only one prestige? I thought you were cool..." he said, his voice descending into a pit of genuine disappointment. "I've prestiged four times, and I'm still not as cool at my friend Lawrence. He's prestiged six times, and he's just eleven-years-old." Andy tried to defend himself with the old "Sorry dude, I was busy making money and going on dates with beautiful women," response, which apparently didn't do much for his rep. "I don't even want to know what your highest kill streak is," his nephew muttered. "If it's below 20, I'm going to be so disappointed." Conclusion If you walk into a room full of adults and ask them if they want to run around outside and play with some squirt guns, chances are they'll either laugh in your face, or awkwardly look away, hoping that you're just making a weird joke. Do the same thing with a group of eight- to twelve-year-olds, and they'll immediately start dividing themselves into teams, Super Soakers in hand. Call of Duty is just the videogame adaptation of squirt guns. It makes sense that kids would be drawn to it more so than many adults. The simplicity and sense of empowerment that come from taking a gun and shooting at something or someone knows no age restrictions. However, it does demand a child-like sensibility to take such pursuits seriously enough to prioritize them over other activities. That's why I'm guessing kids love Call of Duty so much. Now it's just time to wait and see how long it takes for teenagers to catch on to the fact that eight-year-olds love Call of Duty before they start hating it. I wonder what they'll start playing instead? Probably something with guns and boobs. There's nothing like boobs to keep the kids away.
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I was at GameStop the other day, and there was a family in front of me in line -- a man, a woman, a baby, and what looked like a six-year-old girl. The little girl was wearing a bright green dress and seemed happy about every...

Sundays with Sagat: Affirmative Action for the overweight

Mar 08 // Jonathan Holmes
"Big guy" (Ice Hockey on the NES) Approximate Weight: 350 pounds The big guy from Ice Hockey is one of my favorite video characters ever. Sure, he promulgates the idea that obese people are slow, violent punching bags, but he's also really good at hockey. His slap shot is sublime, and he can easily beat the tar out of the two other classes in the game. It also makes a awesome sound when he bounces someone off of his belly. Wario (Wario Land, WarioWare) Approximate Weight: 275 pounds Like Earthquake from the Samurai Showdown games, Wario is a chubby, mean, greedy, and flatulent dude. He's pretty much Mario, but evil, and fatter. Is Nintendo telling us that there is a proportional relationship between how fat you are and how evil you are? Maybe. One thing is for sure, though -- Mewtroid in WarioWare is pretty much the best thing anyone has ever made ever. Mary Ivonskaya (Tobal series) Approximate Weight: 308 pounds The Wii balance board would allow Mary to play Wii Fit, but just barely. Her self esteem would likely take a hit in the process, as the thing would surely call her obese. I know how you feel, Mary. Maybe that's part of why I find you so attractive. I relate with your fat struggle. It also has to do with the fact that, despite your reported weight, you still have a rockin' hourglass figure. In fact, it's sort of hard to believe that you're 308 pounds. If you look that good, and are more than 100 pounds heavier than I am, you either have really dense muscle tissue, or you were weighed on Jupiter when your demographic data was collected for the manual of Tobal No.1. Mamma (Loaded series) Approximate Weight: 513 pounds Mamma may be an enormous, developmentally disable psychopath who alternately dresses like a baby and a giant bunny while indiscriminately murdering everyone that gets in his way, but... Yeah, that's all I got. Rufus (Street Fighter IV) Approximate Weight: 408 pounds Rufus does a lot of things right. For one, he defies the "slow fat guy" stereotype. He's one of the fastest, and most deadly, characters in Street Fighter IV. He's also an egomania-driven food addict who is thought to symbolize both the arrogance and the obesity epidemic in the United States. Sadly, now that Yun and Yang are in Super Street Fighter IV: Arcade Edition, a lot of tournament players are already swapping out Rufus for either of those faster, prettier, and easier-to-use characters. Still, Rufus will always represent the brief, shining time when the "weird fat guy" was on top of the world, or at least, on top of the world of Street Fighter. Anyone who eats too much (Metal Slug series) Approximate Weight: 345 pounds Starting with Metal Slug 2, grabbing too many food pick-ups would cause you to suddenly get super fat. This fat status causes you to become slower and easier to hit, but on the bright side, your gun gets fat too, causing it to shoot fat bullets. Being fat also gives you the ability to attack your enemies with a fork. I guess that's some sort of crack at fat people? Like they are cannibals, or fork lovers, or something? Actually I hadn't thought about it until just now. I was too busy thinking about how awesome the Metal Slug series is and how it has some of the best sprite animation ever. I don't know if anyone will ever top Metal Slug 3. Street Fighter III: 3rd Strike comes close, but it doesn't quite get there. Wait, what were we talking about again? I guess that's my list, folks. I hope you liked it. There are a lot of other overweight characters I could choose, but they're either fit enough to have four-pack abs (like E. Honda), are basically appetite personified (like Quina Quen and Pac-Man) or are just blatantly gross and bad (like the Boomer and that guy from Heavy Rain). It's pretty tough to find overweight characters who play a central role in videogames who are not slow, stupid, mean, food-obsessed, or all of the above. Donut Drake is the only other one I can think of, and apparently, that whole thing was supposed to be some sort of joke. I don't claim to be a world expert on this topic, though. Maybe I'm missing something. Did I overlook your favorite fat videogame character?
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This week's Sundays with Sagat is a little different. For one, it's the start of a two-part crossover with this other video series on Destructoid. Secondly, this is one of the only episodes in the series to get an accompanyi...

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New Rhythm Heaven and Fatal Frame titles totally teased


Sep 29
// Jonathan Holmes
All this 3DS news is great and all, and I'm totally excited about Mega Man Legends 3D and the new Resident Evil stuff, but on my end, the biggest reveal from tonight's Nintendo Conference was actually related to Nintendo's ot...
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Fat Princess patch brings all new map, 'Brownie Town'


Jan 20
// Nick Chester
You know who's fat? The Princess, that's who. She's so fat (and hungry, like fat people, of course) that when her PlayStation Network title gets patched, the developers also have to deliver brownies with it. Yes, Fat Princess...
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Microsoft wants Jim Sterling's Avatar to be as fat as him


Dec 19
// Ben Perlee
If the state of Avatars in my Xbox Live Friends list is any indication, all my friends are apparently closet Master Chiefs, attendees of PAX 09, steam punk aficionados and Halo Waypoint award whores. Seriously, that floating ...
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DSi LL got a big ol' butt, spotted in the wild


Nov 19
// Topher Cantler
With the DSi LL set to be released in Japan this Saturday, display units have started popping up here and there to help Nintendo promote it. Anoop over at Andriasang got to peep some at the Bic Camera and Tsutaya in Shibuya t...
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Art imitates life: Bit.Trip VOID in time for Thanksgiving


Nov 07
// Jonathan Holmes
Bit.Trip VOID is a game that you can play with your family, where you compete to see who can get fatter the fastest. Thanksgiving (link NSFW) is a holiday where families do the same thing, except with more awkward silences an...
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ECA wants you to inform the President about gaming


Jul 27
// Matthew Razak
In case you don't watch the news or read a newspaper to stay up-to-date on current trends -- sadly, this is becoming an ever-increasing population -- the United States is in the middle of revamping its healthcare system. A ma...
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Fitness blogger says games need warning labels


Jul 06
// Colette Bennett
A fitness blog called Winston Salem Fitness recently published an editorial calling out the Wii Fit and suggesting that videogames be packaged with a label warning against the possibility of obesity from their use:Overall, I ...
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Obesity Awareness campaign champions 'exergames', whatever the hell that means


Nov 04
// Colette Bennett
What should you do with a fat kid? No, don't lock him in a cage without food for a week, you jerk. Give him some exergames to play. What are exergames, you ask? Oh, just the latest catchphrase that describes videogames that a...
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Wii Fit tells a 10-year-old that she's fat, Nintendo responds


May 16
// Dale North
Yes, scoff the day away, tubby girl. A videogame told you that you're fat. Kidding. You're normal, according to this Child/Teen BMI calculator. After the news got out that Wii Fit told a 10-year-old girl that she was "fat," e...
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Wii Fit 'traumatizes' kid by calling her overweight


May 06
// Jim Sterling
The launch of Wii Fit seemed to go off without a hitch in Japan, but you had to know that as soon as it found itself in the hands of sensitive Westerners, trouble would occur. The game has barely hit the UK, but already the f...
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Wii Fit gets $89.99 price tag, Nintendo World store pre-order bonus (Update)


Apr 15
// Nick Chester
Hey Flabby McFlabtown! Nintendo have announced details for this Summer's launch of their new interactive fitness game, Wii Fit! The game will ship bundled with the Wii Balance Board peripheral, and will be available at the Ni...
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Move over Pocket Pikachu: Ubisoft's pedometer revealed


Mar 11
// Dale North
Do you remember Pocket Pikachu? This was a step tracker disguised as a virtual pet. Your steps and movement would earn you "watts" to feed little Pikachu, and the idea was that you might get your lazy ass off the co...
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Can games stop you being a chunky f***er? Play Away the Calories finds out!


Feb 21
// Jim Sterling
Nintendo and London's Science Museum are teaming up to ask the question: Could videogames make you healthier? With Wii Fit hitting Europe in April, Play Away the Calories aims to find out, by inviting both gamers and slimmers...
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Nintendo Japan: Wii Fit launches December 1


Oct 10
// Dale North
There was a lot of buzz about Nintendo's weird new foot/exercise peripheral during this year's E3, but we haven't heard much about Wii Fit since then. Now, Famitsu's Express Blog gives us a Japanese release date and price, st...
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Podtoid 32: Fat Japanese Girls edition


Sep 18
// Aaron Linde
Evening, kittens. We’re coming up on a near year of Podtoid, and to celebrate this milestone the higher-ups thought that it’d be best if I destroyed the outfit as soon as possible, and therefore positioned me as h...
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Gamercize: Number one for choice and enjoyment


Sep 15
// Nick Chester
As a collective group, I'd say it's pretty hard for gamers to get motivated into exercising. Be it running, or picking heavy things up and putting them back down, the mere thought of moving is often enough to put us into coma...
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Smackdown vs. Raw 2008 brings the filthy wrestlers to Nintendo's DS


Sep 12
// Jim Sterling
Wrestling is the modern era's poetry, a deep and philosophical journey toward the center of a man's soul. It represents the pinnacle of mankind's achievements, the highest of art and the most refined of our cultural creations...
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WF Portmanteau: Attack the cosplayers' weak spot for massive damage


Jul 30
// William Haley
Today's World Famous Portmanteau will be yet another experiment, as the "winner" will get to take over the feature this Friday while I play the booth babes and take pictures of the games at Blizzcon. The other difference is t...
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Help Reggie get Wii Healthy


Jul 12
// Leigh Alexander
Those of you following our E3 coverage have already heard about Nintendo president Reggie Fils-Aime's less-than-impressive showing at the Wii Fit demonstration. He tried the route of denial by claiming "heavy clothin...
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HGS 07: Clive Barker on fat people, Jericho, and videogames as escapism


Jun 28
// William Haley
Clive Barker is sort of a love him or hate him type of guy. For instance, I love his books, hate his movies. And by "his" movies, I of course mean the Hollywood bastardization of his works. But listening to this man...

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