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SEGA photo

Man tries to pawn Sega Genesis with meth inside

Gotta go (to jail) fast
Oct 04
// Kyle MacGregor
Sonic may be the fastest thing alive, but our subject today surrounds a different type of speed. On September 29, a 31-year-old man was arrested by police in Moultrie, Georgia and charged with methamphetamine possession after...
Hits from the Xbong photo
Hits from the Xbong

OMG YOU GUYS look at this parents against pot website

Hits from the Xbong
Aug 02
// Niero Desu
Why is it that the people put in charge of teaching the chilluns all the beauty they possess inside end up marrying Bobby Brown, or making batshit crazy stuff like this website about dabbing? I laughed so hard that I haven't ...
Adios adderall photo
Adios adderall

No more Adderall abuse for players in one eSports league

ESL bans performance enhancing drugs
Jul 23
// Jed Whitaker
Abusing drugs to enhance performance isn't just a thing that happens in professional sports, but up until now they haven't been tested for in eSports. Coming just a week after professional Counter-Strike: Global Offensive&nbs...
The Sandman photo
The Sandman

Man drugs girlfriend so he can keep gaming

How not to keep a girlfriend
Jul 09
// Jed Whitaker
A 23-year-old German man has been fined $746 after drugging his girlfriend so he could continue playing video games with his friend. His girlfriend had just came home from a 10-hour shift when he slipped "four or five drops" ...

Nintendope photo

Nintendope: My fantasy hang-out session with the Big N

Promoted from our Community Blogs!
Nov 09
// Preposterous Whitey
[Dtoid community blogger DoctorHair shared this... uh... well, he... yeah... just read it. It's goddamn hilarious. --Mr Andy Dixon] Welcome to Fantasy Blunt Scenarios: A new, ongoing original series concerning groups of peopl...
Saints Row IV Australia photo
Saints Row IV Australia

Australians rejoice: You're allowed to play Saints Row IV

And you won't become drug addicts
Aug 02
// Fraser Brown
After a ridiculous amount of faffing about, Saints Row IV has finally been deemed appropriate for adults to buy. Until now, Australian men and women were considered responsible enough to get jobs, buy homes, and get married, ...
Don't do drugs photo
Don't do drugs

Jeff Minter's next ball tripper simulation is TxK on Vita

I'm getting really hot and thirsty just thinking about it
Apr 11
// Allistair Pinsof
Lover of goats, llamas, and psychedelic arcade games, Jeff Minter and his development house Llamasoft will continue his legacy with a Vita release called TxK, a sequel to Atari Jaguar classic Tempest 2000. "We’re going ...
Trippy Ass Balls photo
Trippy Ass Balls

From the sound designer of Antichamber, comes SoundSelf

'A sensual exploration game about the intrinsic pleasure of playing instead of the rewards of winning.'
Mar 18
// Allistair Pinsof
One of the most striking things about Antichamber is how the sound design makes the world feel bigger and more lush than it really is. The sounds and visuals create a hypnotic world that fills the imagination. And now, Antich...

Prepare your body for Farming Simulator 2013

Jul 27
// Jordan Devore
Consoles gamers have missed out on the joys of farming simulators for too long now. Thankfully, the kind-hearted folks at Focus Home Interactive and Giant Software are here to save the day with the announcement that Farming S...

Pull out the crack pipe for some witch house game remixes

May 28
// Allistair Pinsof
Music label and collective Aural Sects put out a choice compilation of game remixes, this week, called Blam Lord's Quest. This free release is done in the murky, distorted style of the musical sub-genre witch house. For those...

Man arrested for smuggling cocaine in his Xbox 360

May 06
// Kyle MacGregor
Driving around with mass quantities of illegal narcotics isn't exactly the smartest idea in the world, but if that's something you plan on doing you could learn a thing or two about what not to do from this tale about a man a...

Mega64: Sully, what's happening!?

Mar 12
// Tony Ponce
Has it really been that long since Mega64 made an honest-to-God videogame skit? There was that Sonic one, right? It feels like it has been much longer than that. Stop selling yourselves out to your corporate masters and go b...

DTOID Extra: I am in lava with Happy Action Theater

Jan 27
// Max Scoville
Yesterday was one of those days that reminds me exactly how lucky I am to have the most ridiculous job in the universe. A couple guys from Double Fine were in the studio to show off Happy Action Theater, the new Kinect game (...

Boy snorts Ritalin to play Xbox 360, gets f*cked up

Aug 08
// Jim Sterling
Most gamers will grab an armful of sugar and energy drinks if they need to keep awake during a monster play session, but for one New Zealand high school boy, that wasn't enough. He decided to inhale a load of Ritalin to enhan...

Review: Proun

Jul 08 // Allistair Pinsof
Proun (PC)Developer: Joost van DongenPublisher: Joost van DongenReleased: June 25, 2011MSRP: Pay-what-you-want Proun is not a simulation racing game nor is it an arcade racer. It’s something I can only label a binary racer. It’s a game with Zen-like simplicity that makes 1982’s Pole Position look like rocket science by comparison. Once you peel away Proun’s outstanding presentation, you are left with a shallow game lacking ambition in every department beyond visuals and audio.In Proun, you control a ball that is locked to a large, looping cord. The game is similar to Boost for iOS (Speed X 3D on Android), albeit without the accelerometer and less track space. Rather than drifting around corners or throwing red shells at an opponent, you simply rotate your ball around the cable, dodging obstacles that force you to find a safe, narrow route on the cylindrical track.Each track has boost gateways that launch you forward, but you can also acquire boosts by avoiding contact with obstacles for a set amount of time. A progress bar lets you know how close you are, adding to the pressure. Although, you’ll rarely be able to successfully pull off a collision-free boost until you thoroughly memorize a track -- therein lies the main problem with Proun.Playing through the game’s three main tracks for the first time is a worthy experience. The fantastic visuals, soundtrack and sound design overwhelm with a sense of scope and immediate danger. The subtle lighting and depth-of-field effects transform the game’s bare world into an artful, curated landscape. Dodging imposing shapes and navigating through a tight pathway, while the game’s calming jazz soundtrack plays makes for an uplifting experience. Even when you hit something, coming to a dead stop, it’s hard to get frustrated -- but then, you play it again.   [embed]205557:39804[/embed] After your first blush with the game, you realize that you are not only limited to a very small collection of tracks (five if you pay, four if you don’t) -- you are limited in the way you navigate each track. For a game that is abound with imagination in its sound and visual design, it’s a shame that its creator and sole designer Joost van Dongen doesn’t offer the player the same amount of creative freedom.Even Pole Position presents enough variables to keep players returning for faster lap times, but there is so little to “driving” in Proun that it's hard to see any point to it. You dodge, boost and stay still (in order to reach maximum velocity). Since the speed and obstacles are set, a player could literally play the game blind-folded once a course is memorized. It would be an impressive task, but one I’m sure is possible. You can’t say the same for most other racers, where reaching a max speed and navigating a track offers a persistent challenge due to opponents (Proun's are merely ghosts to chase).The game is thoughtful enough to include four-player split-screen and leaderboards, but these additions don’t improve the core of the game. Without an endless supply of hallucinogens, you will have a hard time keeping your friends interested for long. As for the leaderboards, they are full of crazy people who have memorized each track and play it like a machine. Unlike other racing games, there is an obvious path to getting the fastest time but only the most dedicated masochists will get there. They are probably methheads with God-like twitch-reflexes.Fans have already posted two user tracks, which show off their prowess at rendering 3D environments. “Archipelgo,” posted in the game’s forum (by user JohnArr), is especially pretty. I can imagine the game being a great platform for 3D artists to show of their work, but I don’t think many aspiring game designers will take part. Dodging incoming shapes and preparing for the further away, out-of-focus ones makes for a fun way to explore the game’s 3D Studio Max landscapes. It’s like art appreciation for the hyperactive generation. Strap a jetpack to your dick and flying toward a life-size Mona Lisa! The fact remains though, the role of the player is secondary to the importance of the world, in Proun. Creator Joost seems to be aware of this.“Design choices in Proun were not made to make it the best game for the player, or to make as much money as possible. Proun was made because I love the experimental art from the early 20th century.”That’s all well and good, but this train of thought has resulted in a game that feels unfinished and bare. I love experimental art from the early 20th century as well, but I’m not going to write this review in pictograms. Mainly because that would be WAY harder to do, but it also would be a waste of your time, dear reader. You want to read words about games, and I want to play them.Regardless of Joost’s ambitions, “pay-what-you-want” system and the game’s six years of development, Proun is neither a gem nor a waste of your time. In fact, I’d recommend it to anyone curious. Partly because you don’t have to pay, and partly because the initial run through the game’s Championship mode is thrilling.If I sound bitter toward the game and its creator, it’s only because there is a lot of untapped potential that Joost has disregarded, in favor of serving his own art school ambitions. I deeply wish Proun was more of a game. One with more track space, competitive interaction between drivers and a Championship mode that doesn’t recycle the same three maps.  I want a racing game that is less Flower, more Uniracers. Or, hell, more of a game at all! Proun deserves its place in a museum. It's a work of art you stop and stare in awe at for five minutes, but then you quickly move on to the next painting -- that's assuming you give a shit about art to begin with.

Just look at those balls! Those beautiful, magnificent balls, zipping through those abstract planes of color and geometric shapes!  Proun is a beautiful and clever visual feast that deserves to be displayed in a museum -...


Spike teases something called 'Planet'

Nov 23
// Jordan Devore
I didn't forget that the Spike VGAs are steadily approaching, but it had kind of slipped my mind how many big announcements tend to get made during the show. We were already expecting to see more on Batman: Arkham City, but ...

Gaijin Games, Bit Tripp'n with Alex Neuse

Nov 22
// Jon Carnage
Ganja Games I mean Gaijin Games and their epic game series Bit Torrent Bit Trip is both easy on the ears and eyes! That's why I decided to forcefully stumble my way in their studio to find out more about Bit Trip, Lilt Line ...

PAD Live: Come Glee Wii me

Nov 19
// Jon Carnage
Its Friday, and what what a week its been! Here at Public Access Destructoid, we feel the best way to relax from a long work week is with a relaxing game of Glee Karaoke Revolution on the Wii. Hold on to your brain cells, an...

GameTalk with DJ Mochi Pet

Nov 19
// Jon Carnage
I've been on the hunt for thousands of years looking for the all elusive, ultra rare one of a kinda Mochi Pet! I have searched high and low, from mountain tops to the deepest ravines in the amazon, only to find nothing! It n...

Public Access Destructoid: A rainbow gathering

Jul 31
// Jon Carnage
What happens when you've been exiled from the Internet, society, and Walmarts nationwide?  You end up here at The Rainbow Gathering. It is difficult to describe what actually goes on at these technology-adverse gatherin...

Two hours of gaming = doing a line of coke

May 25
// Jim Sterling
An absurd little article has been spewed up by the Lancashire Evening Post, where two hours of videogame playing has been directly compared to doing a line of cocaine. The story claims that a young boy was "tormented" by his ...

Child discovers marijuana in used game case

Apr 16
// Conrad Zimmerman
The Sun has reported that four year-old Riley Brown of West Sussex found a little something extra in the used copy of Fight Night Round 4 his father bought from him from a local Blockbuster Video: A tiny bag of cannibis tucke...

Review: God of War III

Mar 08 // Nick Chester
[embed]166136:58737:0[/embed] God of War III (PlayStation 3) Developer: Sony Santa MonicaPublisher: Sony Computer EntertainmentTo be released: March 16, 2010MSRP: $59.99 It's easy to throw around words like "epic" when it comes to this generation's videogames. Given the level of visual fidelity we've come to expect with the current consoles' hardware, developers are always pushing the next big thing, with larger environments and breathtaking, Hollywood-style presentation. So the word "epic" may not hold the weight I would like it to in the instance of God of War III. This is particularly true considering it stands on the backs of giants -- the God of War titles that preceded this PlayStation 3 sequel provided thrills that changed the way we look at action gaming. With God of War III, developer Sony Santa Monica raises the bar, delivering an experience unmatched in its genre in terms of both quality and presentation. It truly redefines "epic" in shocking and unexpected ways you may not have thought were possible. The tale told in God of War III finds Kratos -- quite literally -- standing on the back of a giant. Kicking off immediately where the credits rolled on God of War II, the Spartan anti-hero mounts the mighty Gaia, forming an alliance with the all-powerful Titans to storm and overtake Mount Olympus. Kratos' goal here is vengeance, and ultimately, the death of the "King of the Gods," Zeus. What transpires in this opening sequence of gameplay -- possibly one of the most effective, heart-stopping openings in gaming history -- simply begs to be called "epic." Here, Gaia is a traveling environment, a moving level that shifts and shakes as the Titan shimmies upwards. Around this, a battle rages on: armies of undead soldiers attack you, and in the distance other Titans battle against the relentless minions of Zeus. Gaia, attacked by a Leviathan -- a huge water beast, made up of crab and horse parts -- flails in pain as you help her fight off the beast.  [embed]166136:58738:0[/embed] You may be familiar with this battle, as I've written about it in great detail before; Chad Concelmo later gushed over an extended playthrough. But it bears repeating, if only because this opening sequence is simply a taste of what God of War III has to offer. The title matches and in some cases (almost inexplicably so) tops of what is thrown at you in the incredible opening minutes. In fact, from start to finish, the game never really lets up. It's full of more "holy crap" and "seriously, did that just happen?" moments than any game in recent memory, pushing the boundaries of both violence (yes, Kratos is at his most brutal here) and presentation. Never before has it been so obvious just why the God of War developers assume control over its camera -- they know what you need to see for the most impact, and how you need to see it; and in this instance, they are almost never wrong.  Heaping praise on how God of War looks almost seems pointless; you can see for yourself that the power of PS3 hardware is getting put to good use here. Whether you're up close to the action and can see Kratos scowling as he battles a minotaur (its tongue wagging around as you drive your blade deep into its neck), or you're watching him scale the environment in a wide shot of the action, God of War III never fails to impress. The game's beautifully fitting art design truly comes to life like never before, with impressive lighting and shadows, and masterful use of intentional soft focus on both the background and foreground. The line between pre-rendered cut-scenes and in-game action is seamless; a slight pause is the only true indication that there's any switch from real-time action to pre-rendered video. In many instances, the in-game presentation -- especially during some of the game's fantastic (and ridiculously savage) "interactive cut-scenes" -- looks even more impressive.  [embed]166136:58739:0[/embed] Underneath the shiny new exterior of God of War III lies gameplay that's both recognizable and welcome to fans of the series. The core gameplay was never broken, and therefore doesn't need to be fixed for the sequel, only tweaked. Kratos comes equipped with a familiar move set, and I was immediately at home behind the sticks, pulling off familiar combos and easily discovering new ones. The game does introduce a number of welcome additions, including the combat grapple, which allows you to grab and engage enemies with your chains, either pulling them towards you or (in the case of larger enemies) reeling yourself in.  Kratos will also acquire a number of new weapons during this final stretch of his journey, including soul-stealing chains from Hades and the boxing-glove-like Cestus from the mighty Hercules. Weapons can be changed manually using the D-pad, or cycled through on the fly by pressing L1 and X. While the latter is a bit awkward at first, with some practice I found that switching between weapons during battle was simple, and useful when I wanted to vary combat styles. Combos are mapped similarly across all weapons, so there's never a need to really learn a new set of button presses for each, which (fortunately) keeps things from getting overly complicated. Each weapon also has its pros and cons, the Cestus being slower but more powerful than the standard "Blades of Exile," or the "Blades of Hades" allowing for a faster and wider evade than others. While all of the weapons feel good, only one, the Cestus (which must be used to break the Onyx shields of enemies) seemed required for combat. Still, it was nice to have a broad range of weapons at your disposal, and it's likely you'll find yourself switching up because you can; and, quite simply, because it's a lot of fun.  You'll also receive a number of secondary items in the game, each of which can be used for both combat and, in some instances, general navigation. Giving away too much information about these items would betray part of the game's storyline (however obvious it may seem), but it should be said that none of them feel like one-off gimmicks. They're all useful in battle as well as in the game's minor puzzles, which, while present in the game, never really get in the way of the game's focus -- visceral, heart-pounding action.  As the final chapter in the God of War trilogy, the story in God of War III is wrapped up nicely, introducing and answering new questions as well as tying up many loose ends. The game's climax itself isn't entirely surprising, but fitting, and presented in a gripping and moving way that jibes with Kratos' character.  On the normal difficulty setting, I was able to complete the game in roughly ten hours. While that's average for a game in this particular genre, it may seem a bit on the short side for some. Fortunately, the ten hours of gameplay are so packed with action and awe-inspiring moments that not a minute feels wasted. In fact, going back and playing some of the game's key moments for a second or third time yielded the same feelings of exhilaration as if I were experiencing it for the very first time. There are reasons to continue playing after you've completed the game's story, too, including equipping special items found in your first playthrough, and the "Challenges of Olympus." These challenges are particularly ball-breaking, keeping in line with the previous challenges found in the series, and deserve a bonus "thumbs up" for making a bizarre and random reference to the 1992 animated comedy Bebe's Kids. (Wait... what?) Without question, God of War III sets the new gold standard for action games, clearing and then raising the near-impossible bar that was set by its previous installments. For many years to come, this will be the game by which all others in the genre are compared, and I suspect we won't see anything like it for quite some time. If God of War III was the reason you bought a PS3, your purchase has been justified and then some. If you're looking to show off the power of your console, this is your new showcase -- it's an experience that simply can't be missed. 
God of War III photo
The new gold standard for action games
Fans of the series expect great things, since the previous installments of the franchise held up as some of the best gaming experiences of all time. The God of War III team could have simply slapped a new coat of paint on th...


Adventures in realistic Mario stuff: The Super Mushroom

Dec 07
// Jordan Devore
Oh God. Is it ... is it halfheartedly smiling at us? From the maker of the realistic Blue Shell and other equally creeptastic items from the Mushroom Kingdom comes this Super Mushroom Christmas tree ornament. It's being offer...

Man plays videogames, falls asleep on a baby

Dec 03
// Jim Sterling
Emanuel Lawrence faces charges of aggravated manslaughter after a pot-fueled gaming binge caused him to fall asleep ... on his daughter. In a night of activity that police are calling "irresponsible," Lawrence smoked marijuan...

'Terminator FPS,' a rad-looking mod for Gears of War

Dec 02
// Jordan Devore
Two total conversion mods in one night? Why yes, I have been huffing glue again. Oddly enough, both of these mods are for games that have since received follow-ups, although this time, the sequel was never released for PC ......

This video almost proves Blur is a sequel to Ghostbusters

Dec 01
// Jordan Devore
Now I don't know how indicative these trailers are of what Bizarre Creations' Blur actually looks like with a controller in your hand, but they remind me of the now-we're-going-really-fast-bro moments in The Fast and the Fur...

Monday Mind Teasers: Samorost 1 & Samorost 2

Jul 20
// Tom Fronczak
After last week's little game Little Wheel, I decided to make this week dedicated to the game that heavily influenced it and countless of other online flash games back in the day. Is Samorost older than the Internets? Yes. Is...

Somebody smart once said that something to the effect of "the interface is your product". I think this is how Apple gets away with overpricing their low-powered computer line (and they deserve every penny for gettin...


Used Grand Theft Auto comes with free ecstasy tablets

Apr 09
// Jim Sterling
A British man was stunned after buying two second hand Grand Theft Auto games and discovering some free ecstasy tablets wrapped in plastic and slotted into the one of the game's manuals. For some reason, 34-year-old Richard T...

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