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Chilluns

If you've ever played a Pokémon game, you'd realize that some of the critters possess rather unbelievable abilities beyond comprehension. I'm not talking about just the legendary Pokémon but also the run-of-the-...
With Halloween fast approaching, ThinkGeek's new Miniature Replica Portal Gun ($59.99) is going to be hard to resist. It's got appropriately colored LEDs, a working trigger, and movable claws. Parents, think about how much c...
Behold! The LORD's cruelest joke! Cast out from Heaven, rejected by Hell, and feared by the realm of mortals. The rules of nature apply not to this misshapen beast, for it is wrought of no natural element. It exists without e...
Children are the holy grail of conflict. In media, they are the go-to solution for instant dilemma in a can, a way to garner immediate sympathy from an audience because they're children, and children are sooooo sympathic. Ex...
Enter a world of majesty and wonder! Concoct spells dreamed of only in your most glittering fantasy! Feel like a bigger fanny than you ever thought you could be with Wonderbook, Sony's answer to the EyePet! Oh, wait ... ...
In science news, did you know that if you play Call of Duty for four days straight without drinking, you're ten times more likely to be hospitalized with dehydration? A teenager in Columbus, Ohio found that out just this week...
Good news, bad news time. The bad news is that Bob Hoskins, famed English actor who starred in such films as The Long Good Friday, Who Framed Roger Rabbit, Hook, and the notorious Super Mario Bros., was recently diagnosed wit...
While it wasn't exactly entertaining to see during Microsoft's 2012 E3 press conference, I have a feeling Nike+ Kinect Training will do just fine for itself. The fitness game will be releasing in the United States on October ...
If you're looking forward to a slew of cool PS3 games to play this holiday season, you might want to dial your excitement back just a touch. Sony has declared it'll focus on "family-friendly" games this Christmas, hoping to r...
Goodnight Moon is one of the most beloved children's bedtime stories of all time. When set in the Zelda universe, it becomes the pool whence all nightmares emerge. That moon. There is no place to hide. There is no escape. Sweet dreams tonight, f*ckers. Goodnight, Termina Moon [Dorkly via GoNintendo]
A foolish child managed to spend £1150 of his father's money on Xbox Live. The father's response? Blame Microsoft for his own slapdash parenting, of course.  "He didn't realize it was costing real money," said...
If you are a deadbeat dad, go f*ck yourself. Seriously, you've got this little, impressionable person who looks up to you like you are the center of the damn universe, and you're NOT going to do everything in your power to m...
Gamer parents who were born in the 70s and 80s are continuously discovering new ways to introduce their offspring to the hobby. Best to hook 'em while they're young, I always say! And what better way to instill an affinity fo...
News came out this weekend that Reika Morishita, the vocalist of the Rockman DASH (Mega Man Legends) opening and ending songs, will be repackaging her MML tunes, and should the album sell 20,000 copies, Capcom might be persu...
Konami has transformed the popular arcade dance game DanceDanceRevolution for the classroom. Classroom Edition is a PC-based DDR title made for schools and fitness classes, created in cooperation with several health and fitne...
There is an upside and a downside to the patching functionality found in modern console games. On the one hand, being able to close up nasty holes that would otherwise dampen the experience is quite the welcome feature. On t...
Despite my rough attitude and general snarkiness, I have a huge soft spot in my heart for kids. For this reason, I nearly fell apart a few minutes into this short film about Caine's Arcade. Caine Monroy is a nine-year-old bo...
To all would-be parents, how prepared are you for the big day? You could probably stand to brush up on some important child-raising skills. For instance, how far can you toss a baby? You'll never know when you'll need to chuc...
A 46-year-old British man may have gotten away with molesting a child, had the victim not been quick-witted enough to catch his criminal act on her DSi camera. Thanks to a 10-year-old girl and her game system, pedophile John ...
A catholic priest, doing his bit to fulfill every negative stereotype about his fellows, recently sold a Nintendo DS and forgot to remove the child pornography that was stored on it. This classic goof led to an investigation,...
I'm lucky to have parents that didn't have a problem with any videogames. Of course, I grew up at a time where there were no first-person shooters and fighting games weren't bloody and/or sexy yet. These days kids have it har...
Do you guys remember playing Depict1 on Newgrounds? It was a puzzle platformer that fed you inaccurate instructions, so you had to ignore those directions in order to clear the game. It was made by indie developer Kyle Pulve...
Pinup artist Martin Abel has whipped up a poster featuring a rather developed Little Sister from BioShock. Sometimes, when you get a tip in your inbox for something like this, you gotta go with the obvious joke. And so... *DEEPLY INHALE* Jonathan Holmes... well... is it!?!? (Thanks for the tip, Mike!)
I don't know about you, but I could never get through this battle in Final Fantasy IV. My moves weren't feminine enough, I guess. Next time I'll try equipping Long Socks and Gross Shorts from my inventory. 
Perhaps the one thing we don't see much of during the holidays is good ol' child murder. Thankfully, Random Encounter has got us covered with this toe-tapping Assassin's Creed song and dance! I can honestly say that Christmas is now complete. Nothing Is True: An Assassins Creed Song [YouTube]
Harmonix will live stream some Christmas craziness for the Child's Play charity today. From 5pm to 8pm Eastern they'll host a holiday-themed stream to raise money for the kids. This stream will feature interviews with Harmoni...
Hopefully you've had your fill of blood n' guts on the PlayStation 3, because Sony is doing what Sony does best -- pulling the ol' marketing switcheroo and deciding it wants a new demographic. According to SCEE CEO Jim Ryan, ...
You may remember a while ago, Bethesda set up a contest offering a lifetime supply of Bethesda games to any parents cruel enough to name their child Dovahkiin (that's dragon speak for "Dragonborn"). Well, a pair of bastards a...
If there's one thing Infinity Ward's gotten good at, it's using shock tactics. The "nuke" level of Modern Warfare generated a lot of discussion, only to be eclipsed by the highly controversial "No Russian" stage in Modern War...
I like cats but I love bears. How could you not love those rounded ears, that fuzzy face and little nub tail? I've been known to talk to bears. At bookstores I'll flip through bear picture books like some kind of addict. At z...
The gravitational pull for kids to Kinect grows stronger with this newly announced line-up of games and interactive software for Xbox 360. Sesame Workshop, Nat Geo WILD and Disney are working with Microsoft for these new game...
A new Disney Kinect title is still under wraps, but it sounds amazing so far. It's code-named "Rush," and it's set to launch in spring 2012. In "Rush," using Kinect, kids can scan themselves into five Pixar worlds to tea...
British tabloid/glorified comic book The Sun has brought on a neuroscience expert to argue that videogames can cause temporary -- and perhaps permanent -- mental problems in children. Yep, it's that time of the mont...
The latest data from the NPD Group is packed with lots of interesting factoids on the growth of gaming today, but the most interesting is how mobile gaming is the biggest thing with younger gamers. The number of young'ins tha...
No sh*t. But at least someone is backing up what we already knew with some science. Here's the short version: If you've got a kid that has mood issues, or sometimes acts unfriendly, then you should probably keep him away from...
A 46-year-old man has been charged with assaulting a 13-year-old for mocking him during a game of Call of Duty: Black Ops. The man was killed during a match, and then taunted, causing him to find and attack his digital killer...
Skylanders: Spyro's Adventure is hoping to be one of the hot toy products this holiday season, featuring small action figures that can be slotted into a "portal" and brought to life in an accompanying videogame. It's a delici...
You have to love FOX News. It's turned the word "agenda" into something sinister, without ever having to quantify whatever the agenda in question actually is. Next up on FOX's agenda is yet another round of videogame bashing,...
Electronic Arts has made no secret of its desire to knock Call of Duty from its pedestal. In fact, it's mentioned it so many times it's starting to look like obsession. Activision has noticed the attempts at trash talk, and f...
Jo "Supernanny" Frost has decided to join Noel Gallagher in using last week's nationwide UK riots to blame those evil, evil videogames. Using the ever-disingenuous phrase, "research shows," the savior of shitty parents everyw...