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John Stamos, be my dad photo
John Stamos, be my dad

Uncle Jesse's favorite game of all time is a creepy retro game

Two guys walking around with boners?
Dec 05
// Jed Whitaker
It is December, and the news has been mostly slow. I decided to do what any responsible reporter would do and ask John Stamos, aka Uncle Jesse from Full House, aka the guy that was better than Clooney on ER, what his favorite...
Battlefront photo

Breaking Benjamin's Benjamin Burnley Breaks Battlefront

Probably just a PR stunt
Nov 24
// Joe Parlock
2006 just hit me like a brick, because until today I had no idea Breaking Benjamin were still a band. I used to be massively into their music, and even looking back at it now it’s alright. Pretty much entirely cheesy a...
Porn > video games? photo
Porn > video games?

Ron Jeremy thinks video games are boring and ruining our youth

Also talks about Super Hornio Bros.
Sep 23
// Jed Whitaker
Rom Jeremy aka The Hedgehog aka the chubby guy with the giant cock in all your parents' favorite porn films was recently interviewed by Vice discussing the Super Mario Bros. porn parody in which he starred called Super H...
Chrvches play Rock Band 4 photo
Chrvches play Rock Band 4

Wow, I'm better at Rock Band than Chvrches is!

But they're still famous, so whatever
Aug 10
// Nic Rowen
I take every opportunity to watch real musicians play Rock Band that I can, I'm always interested to see how they'll do. Especially when it happens to be one of my favorite acts. Extra especially when they're playing a Rock ...

Cosplay photo

Jamie Lee Curtis cosplayed as Vega at EVO

Mom of the Year
Jul 19
// Kyle MacGregor
Cool mom (and actor) Jamie Lee Curtis attended EVO this weekend in Las Vegas, taking her Street Fighter fanatic son to the tournament to celebrate his recent high school graduation. Not only did they go, but the whole family ...
Here comes the money photo
Here comes the money

PewDiePie reportedly made $7.45 million in 2014

Just a smidgen more than me.
Jul 04
// Jed Whitaker
Love him or hate him, Felix "PewDiePie" Kjellberg has the biggest subscriber base on YouTube, currently sitting at over 37 million in total. According to a report from Swedish tabloid Expressen, Kjellberg's company PewDi...
Bloodthirsty Wayne Brady photo
Bloodthirsty Wayne Brady

Wayne Brady will rip out your spine in MK X

He's laughing just thinking about it
Apr 17
// Nic Rowen
Normally a celebrity event like this Mortal Kombat X launch tournament would be the sort of thing that makes my skin crawl. A slimy affair of glad-handing B-list celebrities on the downslope of their careers trying to appear...

Give me games inspired by weirdos and madmen

Jan 11 // Nic Rowen
[embed]286041:56845:0[/embed] Captain Murphy I know Captain Murphy, the alter ego of professional oddball rapper Flying Lotus, exclusively through his sublimely bizarre animated music videos on YouTube. I understand there is an Adult Swim short out there that tries to establish a little more of a backstory for him, but I haven't seen it, and more importantly, I don't want to see it at the risk of tainting the magic. I don't really care about who Captain Murphy is or where he comes from, I'm just in love with the vibe I get watching his videos on repeat. I don't want some 60-hour RPG explaining the origins and desires of Captain Murphy, I just want some kind of game that taps into his style: a bizarre, beautiful mish-mash of psychedelic imagery, B-roll samples of 1970's PSAs, cult-member brainwashing, and a fixation with comic book superheroes. It's a potent stew of the kind of floating debris that drifts around in my own head, but expressed in a way I could never articulate. I honestly have no idea what a Captain Murphy game would be, or what it would look like, I just know I want it. Call up the Hotline Miami guys and let them loose on it. Tom Waits In my mind's eye I see an adventure game where you play as Tom Waits wandering around a cocaine-blasted version of 1970's New York, adopting stray cats, bouncing between dingy coffee shops and dive bars. Maybe he's looking for inspiration for his next album, maybe his old lady kicked him out and he has nowhere else to go. The crux of the gameplay would revolve around a Telltale-style conversation system where you swap stories with vagabonds, taxi drivers, and talk show hosts, all with the same level of interest and haphazard disregard for rational narratives. There is a wealth of dialog choices at your disposal that reach across the full berth of human emotion, but none of them really matter since the options you select bear almost no resemblance to the crazy shit that actually comes out of Tom's mouth. You stumble into a bar, shivering calico swaddled in your scarf, and tell the drowsy-eyed piano player about the time you got caught in the middle of a pimp war in a grease joint two towns over and had to use a napkin dispenser to defend yourself. That's basically the entire game because that's all you really need. Dragonette Now you might think a game based on the neon-soaked dance music of Dragonette would be an easy fit for a rhythm game, but that's a little too predictable isn't it? No, what I picture is a stealth based puzzle game where you have to try and sneak back into your apartment building at 4:00am without waking up your jealous boyfriend after clubbing it up all night. Use your dance moves and irrepressible charm to navigate past revolving doors, fool judgmental doormen, and avoid tripping over the cat in the middle of a dark living room and waking up the whole damn building. Think Mark of the Ninja, but with less hook-neck hangings and more cheesy video effects. Tyra Banks “Now hold up Nic, didn't you start this article bitching about reality stars making crappy games?” Well, yes, that is true. But I'm not interested in a game about Tyra Banks herself so much as I'm morbidly fascinated by the idea of a game about her nakedly obvious self-insert character, Tookie De La Creme, from her Modelland novel. If you've never heard of Modelland, or (God forbid) read it, it's like some kind of batshit insane mash-up of The Hunger Games and Harry Potter, but where all the districts are dedicated to making different kinds of clothes or jewelry and all the wizards are replaced with supernatural fashionistas. Tookie is a “forgeta-girl” who comes across a magical trinket called a “smize” (based on Tyra's technique of smiling with the eyes) and is whisked away to the titular Modelland to survive a variety of physical dangers and passive-aggressive social knife fights to become one of the world's seven “intoxibellas” the most famous, and therefore most important, people in the world. I could be snarky and compare the basic structure of the plot to any number of RPGs that do the same basic thing (“You touched a funny space stone? Well shit, guess you're the savior of the galaxy now!”) and remark on how easy it would be to translate that into a workable, conventional game (probably the most conventional on my list really), but cutting industry satire isn't my goal here. I honestly would just love to see a game set in such a gloriously stupid world. I mean, the fashion designers are wizards! Sweet Jesus. Get Ty Ty Baby and Swery in the same room together with some drinks and just let the magic happen. Maybe Duncan from D4 can make a cameo. [embed]286041:56846:0[/embed] If celebrity games are going to be more common in the future, I hope we can at least get the occasional strange and lovely experience out of it. We might not be able to stave off a future dystopia of mobile freemium games inspired by reality show garbage and manufactured pop stars, but we can at least dream of a better one.  I've shared my top picks, but what celebrities or pop icons would you want to see in a game?
Celebrity games photo
These pop icons should have their own games
Celebrities are making games now, this is a thing we're going to have to live with. Kim Kardashian's done it, RuPaul's done it (and apparently her game is surprisingly fun, as our Jonathan Holmes discovered), and of course, 5...

LiLo photo

Take-Two: Lindsay Lohan's GTA V lawsuit was just for attention

If so, I guess it worked
Aug 27
// Brett Makedonski
Lindsay Lohan recently filed a lawsuit against Take-Two Interactive and Rockstar claiming that they used her likeness in Grand Theft Auto V without her permission. The action's raised quite the collective scoff from...
I'm pretty sure they also based Franklin on me
Lindsay Lohan has filed a law suit against Rockstar, the creators of Grand Theft Auto V. The suit claims Lohan's likeness is used in the game, without her permission, based on the character of Tracey Jonas. It's a pretty far-fetched claim, and sure not to go far. But it is worth a good laugh.

Lawsuit photo

Not a joke: Lindsay Lohan sues Rockstar over Grand Theft Auto V

Claims likeness was used without permission
Jul 02
// Jordan Devore
The rumors were true. She's really going for it. Actress Lindsay Lohan has filed a lawsuit against Take-Two and Rockstar Games over a character in Grand Theft Auto V that's said to be based on her likeness without permission,...
MGSV photo

Hollywood loves the E3 trailer for Metal Gear Solid V

Filmmakers offer praise for MGSV and look to the future
Jun 28
// Alessandro Fillari
It should go without saying that Metal Gear Solid V: The Phantom Pain had a great showing at E3. Not only was the official trailer a stellar piece of work, and a big indication of how grim the game will be, but the 30-minute ...
Grand Theft Auto V photo
Grand Theft Auto V

Conan O'Brien tries his hand at Grand Theft Auto V

'I've known Franklin eight minutes!'
Sep 20
// Chris Carter
Grand Theft Auto V is finally out, and pretty much everyone has gotten their hands on it, including Conan O'Brien. This is probably one of his longest and most enjoyable Clueless Gamer segments, because he actually shows quite a bit of gameplay. Around five minutes in he makes up his own quest and gets completely sidetracked, as open world games tend to do!
Conan O'Brien photo
Conan O'Brien

Conan O'Brien plays the Atari 2600 on Clueless Gamer

He takes on the infamous E.T.
Aug 09
// Chris Carter
In this episode of Clueless Gamer, comedian and late night host Conan O'Brien goes back in time, as he plays the Atari 2600. He takes on a number of games, including the iconic Pitfall, Space Invaders, and E.T. If you haven'...
Mike Tyson photo
Mike Tyson

Mike Tyson: 'I couldn't even beat Glass f**kin' Joe!'

Guess the kid ain't so dynamite after all
Jul 26
// Tony Ponce
Out of 100 fights, Glass Joe only won a single match. Now we know who that one guy was. Mike Tyson -- I SUCKED AT PUNCH-OUT ... Couldn't Even beat Glass Joe [TMZ via NeoGAF]
Bayonetta photo

CONFIRMED! Bayonetta's Enzo = Danny DeVito + Joe Pesci

Pesci is obvious, but DeVito? Not seeing it
Jun 28
// Tony Ponce
If you play the original Bayonetta and don't immediately think of Joe Pesci the moment Enzo opens his mouth, you haven't been getting enough Vinny in your life. Some people find his manner of speech annoying, but like former ...
The Roots' Mario rap photo
The Roots' Mario rap

The Roots' frontman spits crazy Mario rap on Jimmy Fallon

Black Thought be KILLIN' it!
Jun 21
// Tony Ponce
You're probably sick of seeing clips of Late Night with Jimmy Fallon on the Dtoid front page, but I can guarantee this one tops 'em all. Regular watchers of Fallon's show of course know that the in-house band is none other t...
Watch Dogs photo
Watch Dogs

Watch a painful Watch Dogs demo on Jimmy Fallon

Aisha Tyler makes another apperance for Ubisoft
Jun 20
// Chris Carter
It's "Video Game Week" on the Jimmy Fallon show, and after a hokey Microsoft and a humble Sony presentation, Ubisoft is on deck with Watch Dogs. This time around Aisha Tyler joins Jimmy and Ubisoft's Nicholas Mainville to sh...
Jimmy Fallon on PS4 photo
Jimmy Fallon on PS4

Jimmy Fallon gets down with the PlayStation 4

Mark Cerny namedrops Katamari Damacy, is awesome
Jun 19
// Chris Carter
Jimmy Fallon hosted the PlayStation 4 during his post-E3 videogame week with Sony's Mark Cerny, who showed off Knack on the new console. I'll say it outright, Mark Cerny was much easier to watch than Phil Spencer, and the en...
Jimmy Fallon Xbox One photo
He's probably all about that NBC paycheck, too
If you've ever wanted to watch Phil Spencer uncomfortably hype up the Xbox One on late night television, you're in the right spot. The Xbox One was featured on the Jimmy Fallon show last night, and the presentation was...a l...

Mario movie screenings photo
Mario movie screenings

Two more Mario movie anniversary screenings this month

Hi, I'm Daisy!
Jun 06
// Tony Ponce
The Mario movie 20th anniversary celebrations continue with not one but two more special events, this time in the plumbers' own home of New York City. Super Mario Bros. The Movie Archive will hold midnight screenings on Frida...
Words from Luigi Mario photo
Words from Luigi Mario

Mario film 20th anniversary message from John Leguizamo

"May the fungus be among us!"
May 26
// Tony Ponce
May 28 marks the 20th anniversary of the infamous Super Mario Bros. movie. Whether you love it or love to hate it, it's nonetheless a landmark film that holds a special place in gaming history. To celebrate the grand occasio...

More fu for you! 'SHAQFIGHTER' has been trademarked

This is what we deserve
May 14
// Tony Ponce
This must be punishment for every unpleasant word ever uttered in response to Shaquille O'Neal's off-court ventures -- his rap career, his starring roles in Kazaam and Steel, the mind-numbing Shaq Fu. I can only imagine that ...
Injustice photo

Latest TV spot for Injustice features Kevin Smith

Old scores finally being settled
Apr 08
// Conrad Zimmerman
A new advertisement for Injustice: Gods Among Us is starting into circulation and they're heading right for the comic fans by bringing in one of the more famous enthusiasts of (and contributors to) the medium, Kevin Smi...
Jet Li is a badass photo
Jet Li is a badass

Jet Li says games can be as demanding as physical sports

Jet Li likes videogames, and that makes everything better
Apr 04
// Tony Ponce
Rigorous physical conditioning. Intense focus. Years of training and discipline to turn himself into a living weapon. Yeah, Jet Li is a textbook badass. But who could have expected that a man like him would offer such a ringi...
Nic Cage = Pokémon photo
Nic Cage = Pokémon

Nicolas Cage is every Pokemon

I'd like to take Squirtle's face... OFF!
Mar 22
// Tony Ponce
Iwata claims that this is the Year of Luigi, but I'm starting to think it's the Year of Nicolas Cage. First came that Majora's Mask texture hack that slaps his mug on every surface imaginable, and now comes this new tumblr th...
Majora's Mask + Nic Cage photo
Majora's Mask + Nic Cage

Majora's Mask gains the mask-like face of Nicolas Cage

Tingolas Cage = Character of the year 2013
Mar 17
// Jonathan Holmes
First we have a hack of The Legend of Zelda that lets you play as Zelda. Now we have a hack of The Legend of Zelda: Majora's Mask that features everyone as Nicolas Cage? It's feeling more and more like every game in 2013 cou...
Coco plays Tomb Raider photo
Clueless Gamer reviews Tomb Raider
I agree with Conan on this one. I don't care how it's supposed to be pronounced; everyone has always spoken her name aloud as "Laura." Conan O'Brien is on top of the new Tomb Raider this week. Naturally, he makes all the obv...

Leonard Nimoy's PS4 photo
Leonard Nimoy's PS4

Leonard Nimoy owned a PS4 over 30 years ago!

The world of tomorrow, yesterday
Feb 23
// Tony Ponce
While the gaming world is still coming to grips with the potential of the PlayStation 4, at least one sci-fi acting legend was facepalming so hard at how behind the times everyone else was. From this early 80s footage that I...
Coco plays Halo 4 photo
Coco plays Halo 4

Cortana can update Conan O'Brien's 'firmware' any day

Clueless Gamer reviews Halo 4
Feb 07
// Tony Ponce
Conan O'Brien is back with another episode of Clueless Gamer, wherein he plays videogames and exhibits no signs whatsoever that he knows what he's doing. Today's game: Halo 4. First he learns that the Covenant worship Theo H...

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