I don't even have it in my heart to 'shop your face into those penguin eyes. Our fearless Boner Knight: Andy Dixon is leaving us as Community Manager. From the first time I was an asshole to you Andy, to the last time I was a... read
[Where will Dtoid community blogger Hyper Lemon Buster Cannon find dicks next?? --Mr Andy Dixon]
You know, if there's one important observation I've noticed throughout the years, it's that if you look hard enough, like really... read
YouPorn, which a cursory Google search tells me is a streaming adult video webpage, has announced its sponsorship of a Spanish eSports team (Hearthstone, League of Legends).
Play2Win will now be known as Team YP, which s... read
SugarDVD, purveyor of such fine films as What An Asshole and Hairy Asian Schoolgirls Masturbate, has confirmed it'll be bringing its adult entertainment streaming services to Microsoft's next-generation Xbox.
The servic... read
[Destructoid turned seven this past Saturday, and all month long Dtoiders have been reminiscing about their time with the site over in our Community Blogs. Here's Handy's little dandy. Show us yours! --Mr Andy Dixon]
We have ... read
This is... well... umm... you know what? I'm not even going to explain it. The latest Hey Ash, Whatcha Playin'? is brilliance, plain and simple. Go watch it and have a good laugh or two.
Hey Ash, Whatcha Playin'? - Civilization V [GameTrailers] read
As some of you may or may not have heard, this is officially my last day with Destructoid.
Man ... I can barely type that without getting upset.
I am starting a new job next week at GolinHarris as a writer for Nintendo. It is... read
On today's completely professional, mature, and otherwise not stupid or embarrassing Destructoid Show, we discuss some very serious topics. First, a season pass is announced for Assassin's Creed III, and the first DLC will b... read
Sometimes this job is boring, and sometimes YouPorn sends Destructoid a press release, excitedly telling us that its streaming sex video services is coming to Xbox Live. Of course, what it actually means is that, with Interne... read
Yeah we're a web site, but we are also a collective of fleshy sacks of meat and blood that play video games together and drink sometimes! In an effort to centralize our random adventures and always have a place to show ... read
I stand corrected. This is the weirdest story of the weekend!
If you read Joseph Leray's "Nordic New Wave" feature from the other week, you ought to be familiar with Johann Sebastian Joust, a game using accelerometer-powered ... read
[Update: So apparently it is not real. Stupid sexy Voldo!]
Namco Bandai recently pulled an advert for SoulCalibur V after fans complained that it was too offensive. No, it wasn't the magazine page featuring ginormous breasts.... read
Merry Christmas, everybody! I'm gonna keep this short because idiot thought it was a good idea to put a small tree in my house and then leave a bunch of presents sitting under it, so I need to go get rid of that crap before a... read
While we're all waiting for that hotly anticipated Saints Row: The Third review, it's easy to forget that Volition Inc. has something else coming to market -- the official Saints Row: The Third Dildo Baseball Bat.
Fortu... read feature
I refused to rearrange my living room to play Fruit Ninja in my girlfriend's tiny San Francisco flat, so after a few failed attempts at calibration I just jumped behind the sofa, causing my body to turn into a floating severed torso. The result glitch in my Kinect setup causes another limb to come to life.
How's that for enhanced male performance? read
According to Maniac, the Japanese developer Tech Arts is working on a title called 3D Custom Girl, which will be released at the end of October. The women present in the game cover pretty much every single Anime cliché... read
[Update: Chaz and Stevi joined us in the Outer Heaven chat last night (Chaz has been following Destructoid for years) and we got the chance to talk with the soon-to-be parents. Because of the pregnancy, the wedding (planned f... read
As some of you know, I love to write features on this site. It’s kind of my favorite thing ever, outside of dolphins ... or Showgirls ... or punching old ladies in the face. Well, you get the point. I love writing featu... read feature
Thanks to the Destructoid community blogs, I now cannot look at this formerly beautiful screenshot of The Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim without seeing a terrible truth. That truth is the unquestionable penisfinger standing proud on... read
Sun rays are bad! Didn't you know? The government secretly created videogames to keep people inside and away from the sun after all. Still, you sometimes have to leave the the house for things like candy brain fuel. Lucky for... read
Last week I was a guest on web talk show This Week in Videogames. I am not posting this video of the episode to put the focus on me – I can’t even watch myself on video for more than five seconds without throwing... read
I don't know who it was that came up with the idea to paint a little fly or dot or target on the inside bowl of your average public urinal, but he (or she) was a genius. It took advantage of man's need to urinate, and combi... read
Not really. I have a t-shirt on. I just can’t wait for my parents to Google my name and see that headline show up in the results.
But I will be on GameTrailers TV tonight! I was one of the “gaming expe... read
Friday night, 11pm at the Destructoid + Astro party: "HEY! HEEEEY! SHUT UP! YOU! QUIEEEET!" Then, again, somehow in unison: "SHUT THE F**K UP! WE'RE GOING TO MAKE AN ANNOUNCEMENT!" (Here's the party in pictures)... read
"Finally, porn for the XXX-treme gamer in you!" Not my words, but the words of GearsOfWhores.com, a new Web site dedicated to gamer porn. Of course, by gamer porn I mean, "low budget porn stars doing their normal sex but wear... read
I've been sitting on this info for a little while, waiting to get a proper screen grab of the two winning t-shirts in action, but my screen grabbing equipment sucks and I can't wait any longer.
So here there are, the two winn... read
[These posts on No More Heroes 2 are purely speculation. I have no idea what the team at Grasshopper Manufacture intended for the game to mean; I can only speak to what I've taken away from it, so if you don't enjoy potential... read
Space Giraffe developer and notorious industry whingebag Jeff Minter has been hard at work on a new game that he is hoping to pitch to Activision. Not really, but his idea for Video Game Hero could be a pretty good prospect n... read