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Adult Unicorn Sex

Awkward photo
Awkward

What would you say if bae's mom gave you this blanket?


I'd probably wife her
Aug 01
// Niero Desu
After a hard day at the office all a gamer really wants to do is go home, kick off their shoes, and cuddle with evil reborn on console. Right? This redditor writes: "My girlfriend's mom doesn't know anything about gaming but ...
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Friday Night Fights - Broken Tooth Day!


Game with the Dtoid Community!
Mar 13
// Mike Martin
Short and sweet today. Cracked my back top molar and it hurts. Bad. On my way out the door to get the last kid from school and then go to the dentist. Sweet pain and drugs ahoy! Have fun gaming tonight, I'll be mumbling and bumbling in some Spartan Ops. See you there.
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Videogame Clubhouse: The Valentine's Day special


LET'S EMBARRASS OURSELVES AND OUR MOTHERS!
Feb 13
// Spencer Hayes
It's time for that annual occurrence of public shame and humiliation: Valentine's Day. If that sentence wasn't enough to tip you off then know that I'm not a big fan of the holiday. So what is a guy to do to prepare himself f...
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The DTOID Show is shot in front of a live car audience
Hey hey! This video was supposed to go up yesterday afternoon, but a series of unfortunate events resulted in it going up very late last night, and then internet witchcraft prevented me from putting up a post. So, if you don...


The Destructoid Show: The Next Generation

Nov 11 // Max Scoville
I realize this is all a bit confusing, but the important thing to take away from this is that I'm back where I got my start, and Hamza and Niero have said "do your thing," and literally handed me the keys to the Destructoid offices (well, I actually have to go pick them up tomorrow, but you get the idea.) This is both exciting and terrifying for me, because I'm actually in charge of some stuff, and nobody ever leaves me in charge of stuff. To quell your curiosity and ease your confusion, here's a short FAQ: Q: What about Tara? Is she coming back too? A: No. Tara's still doing her thing over at Rev3Games, and she's also doing a science show with Anthony Carboni called Hard Science. Go check it out, because they build hovercrafts, and you should always support hovercrafts. Q: What about your hit podcast, The Comedy Button, I thought you were making videos for that full-time? A: That's still very much a thing, but making it a full-time gig while everyone else involved is busy with real jobs is tricky, especially when those real jobs involve videogames, and there are two new consoles coming out this month.  Q: Are you going to bring back Max Scoville's Study Hall? A: Despite what the title might suggest, Revision3 owns the rights to Max Scoville's Study Hall. I have a "spiritual successor" type project in the works which will hopefully fill that void. Q: Are you gonna do a Gundam episode? A: Yes. Q: You need a haircut. A: I agree. If you have other questions, I'll happily answer them in the comments. It's good to be back!
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The Return of The Max
Well, well. Look who's come crawling back. ME. If you guys have been keeping track, The Destructoid Show came to an end two months ago, and I announced my departure from Revision3 about one month ago. And today, in...

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So long and thanks for all the weird contest entries
Well, guys. This is it. The final episode. Tara and I run down a whole bunch of our favorite moments from hosting this insane show. I've been involved in this site for a bit over three years, and it's been nothing short of l...

Dtoid Show photo
Dtoid Show

No Xbox One DRM, Titanfall, Halo, & Oculus Rift VR Sex


The Destructoid Show puts on its wizard hat and robe
Jun 21
// Max Scoville
Hey everybody! It's The Destructoid Show! ...Again! Microsoft dropped their dumb DRM, but there's a day one patch, and we're losing some features. But hey, free Xbox Live games. Titanfall has no single-player campaign, ...

Review: Robot Unicorn Attack 2

Apr 24 // Tony Ponce
Robot Unicorn Attack 2 (iPad, iPhone [reviewed on an iPhone 4S])Developer: PikPokPublisher: Adult Swim GamesRelease: April 25, 2013 (US)MSRP: Free (with microtransactions) I know there are, like, two or three of you who have never played Robot Unicorn Attack before. If you are aware of any such persons, I ask you to point them out to the rest of the class so that we may shed a tear in their name. You poor, unfortunate souls. Have you ever known true joy? On a fundamental level, RUA2 is just like its brethren. In control of the titular unicorn, you race across a whimsical landscape, jumping over chasms and dashing through star pillars, riding a high so blissful that the very air around you feels like a warm pillow of sunshine. If you aren't smiling 30 seconds in, you might have lost the ability to dream, and for that, you have my pity. This time, the world is packed with even more child-like fantasy -- giant unicorn whales that swim through the air, spectacular palaces that lie beneath the glow of nearby planets, and, of course, dolphins! Half the experience is the rich atmosphere, polished and perfected to the point that the previous games feel so bland and inadequate in comparison. [embed]252353:48347:0[/embed] Though you still control your unicorn by tapping the screen, so much has been tweaked beneath the surface to make the action more fluid and to invite light exploration. Similar to Sonic the Hedgehog, there are multiple paths through the stage, each with a different set of obstacles and spoils. You can risk diving into the abyss, praying that you land on solid ground, or you can leap towards the clouds, hoping that a higher plane awaits. Furthermore, the level layout changes daily, so there will always be new secrets to discover. Taking a cue from other runners like Temple Run and Jetpack Joyride, there are challenges to attempt, and clearing a set of such challenges -- jumping through a certain number of rings, collecting fairies floating along your path, etc. -- will increase your rank and unlock new abilities, items, menu options, and even a second environment: the Ice World. Then there are daily challenges with tougher requirements, plus community challenges that rely on the combined force of every RUA2 player on Earth. That sense of community also extends towards daily competitions, in which you must align yourself with either Team Rainbow or Team Inferno for a shot at big rewards. Everyone on your team must work together to achieve a specified goal, but if you feel like your team is heading towards a downfall, you can defect to the other side -- at the cost of your precious teardrops, of course. Those teardrops can be used to purchase different parts for you unicorn, such as a new mane, a new horn, or an entirely new body. You can stick with the standard unicorn model, become the sinister Iron Pegasus, or assume far more frightening forms. These customizations aren't just for show, as they grant enhancements like increased speed, additional mid-air jumps, or even the game-changing ability of unlimited flight! The two default songs, one for each world, were produced by New Zealand artist Module, responsible for the incredible soundtrack to Shatter on PlayStation Network. But what happened to "Always"? It's still here, unlockable from a music room along with other wonderful jams like Blind Guardian's "Battlefield" (from RUA Heavy Metal) and Limahl's "The NeverEnding Story." As these are licensed tracks, you'll have to pay real money for their inclusion, but at least they are a sensible $0.99 apiece. Every added element invites you back into the core game, where you lose yourself to the sights and sounds, literally chasing your dreams. And with the incorporation of community events, you feel a pleasant connection, touching the lives of others as they are touching yours. It's a heartwarming thought to know that, rather than trying to eclipse someone else's high score for your own self-satisfaction, you are working together for the benefit of the whole. Nothing about this game can bring me down. Not even the curiously long load times when you open the customization menu -- which I'm sure will be improved via update later down the road. Simply put, it lifts me like few other games have. And you too can be as content as I am right this very moment. Robot Unicorn Attack 2 is happiness. It is hope. It is always. It is yours.
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Neverending story
Robot Unicorn Attack will forever hold a special place in my heart. I remember PAX East 2010, meeting many Dtoiders for the first time, and joining a rousing drunken chorus of Erasure's "Always" in the late hours of the eveni...

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The DTOID Show: VR Porno, Tomb Raider & Dark Souls


Our "sexiest episode ever"
Dec 17
// Max Scoville
It's Destructoid's sexiest episode ever! Well, Sessiest, anyway. Tara's out sick, so Adam Sessler's filling in. News includes interactive porno for the Oculus Rift by way of a company called Sinful Robot, some new Tomb Raider gameplay, and the top 5 sexiest Final Fantasy characters who are dudes. Plus: Dark Souls II is too easy, everyone get upset.
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Destructoid Mobile has been redesigned, go play


Toilet Edition rides again!
Nov 05
// Niero Desu
We've been promising you a better mobile for ages, and it's finally here.  You can now use virtually all of the features of our desktop site on our new smartphone site. No apps to download, no nonsense to install, no gim...
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The DTOID Show: Adventure Time, Deadpool, & Spider-Boobs


Jul 16
// Max Scoville
Holy crap guys, I think this might be my favorite episode of the show we've done in ages. Like, just in terms of the pure awesomeness/absurdity of today's news. For starters, the ESRB has described all the awful things that a...
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The DTOID Show: Halo, Walking Dead, & Secret World of BJs


Jul 06
// Max Scoville
Hey guys! If you missed today's LIVE Destructoid Show, here's a nice convenient recording of it for you to watch.  For starters, NiGHTS Into Dreams and Dragonball Z Budokai are both getting HD rereleases, and Final ...
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Buy a Balloonicorn and you too can believe in magic


Jun 27
// Tony Ponce
You've watched the magic. Now live the magic! To celebrate the release of "Meet the Pyro," ThinkGeek is selling a three-foot tall Balloonicorn straight from your dreams and into your bedroom. It's pink, it's ballooney, and it...
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The DTOID Show is LIVE from PAX right NOW


Aug 25
// Max Scoville
Hey guys! Heads up! We're in Seattle for PAX right now, sweaty and exhausted. In just a few moments, we'll be streaming LIVE, going over some of the... things... that we're doing. Just waiting for Tara to finish her pizza. G...
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Gah, finally. I've been wanting to talk about Saints Row: The Third since last Friday, and yesterday the embargo was finally up. I got to talk to Drew Holmes, the game's lead narrative designer (or "writer") about all the wo...

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That bear is wearing a bikini ...


Aug 04
// Jim Sterling
What you are looking at is a piece of art for Super Danganronpa 2. The character is called Mono Bear and he is evil, as you can tell from the fact that he's WEARING A BIKINI OH GOD.  Since the first game never made ...
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Winners of The Destructoid Show's 3DS Destruction Contest


Jul 19
// Max Scoville
If you watch The Destructoid Show, you'll know we've been doing a contest to give away three Catalyst 3DS cases, sponsored by the fine folks at CM4. Of course, since we're a gaggle of idiot children, the contest was "make a p...
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New Destructoid Episode: Metro Dorito Aliens Having Sex


Jul 15
// Max Scoville
Hey kid, wanna see a dead body? Oh. Well. You wanna see some really cool video game news... In the back of my van? Uh. Anyway. The guy from Crytek says the PS Vita is gonna fail, and the guy from Naughty Dog says the Wii U i...
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Adult Swim slashing prices on iOS games for July 4 sale


Jun 30
// Jim Sterling
It's almost independence day, the day that America freed itself from my own personal rule (according to my stepkid), and Adult Swim is celebrating by knocking all its games down to the lovely price of $0.99.  Popular gam...
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New Destructoid Show: Live taping was LIVE!


Apr 14
// Tara Long
Morning, folks! For those of you who tuned in to our LIVE taping of The Destructoid Show yesterday, thank you. We do hope you enjoyed it. We also hope you remembered everything you heard in exact detail, because it's the l...
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New Bonecraft trailer released, surprisingly not for kids


Mar 17
// Neranjan 'Venom' Bissoon
Gameplay footage for D-Dub Software's upcoming fantasy/sci-fi adult parody game Bonecraft has been released, and we wouldn't want you to miss it. While the footage shows the action-oriented side of the game, it's leaving my ...
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New Catherine gameplay screens make it look way better


Dec 26
// Josh Tolentino
It took a while, but the hype machine for Atlus' sexy new action-puzzler Catherine had recently (and finally) shifted into "providing actual gameplay details" mode. Screens were shot, copy was written, and...let's just say th...
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X-COM gets multiplayer thanks to a fan patch


Jul 20
// Josh Tolentino
And I'm not talking about the FPS remake that 2K showed off at E3. That's XCOM. What I'm talking about is 1994's X-COM: UFO Defense (or UFO: Enemy Unknown in Europe), that still remains one of the greatest games ever made. No...
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Project Diva's new DLC is better than the upcoming sequel


Jun 13
// Josh Tolentino
E3 might be on, but here at Destructoid we cover other games, too. Like this one! It's called Hatsune Miku: Project Diva. It's a PSP rhythm game based on the singularly amazing "Vocaloid" line of virtual singing idols. Anyway...

Mario is for guys in their fifties

May 22 // Jonathan Holmes
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It's not uncommon for people to say that Nintendo only makes games for kids, and that the Mario games in particular are kid-only experiences. For instance, Blur, an upcoming "realistic" racing game featuring missile launching...

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Robot Unicorn Attack galloping onto the iPhone


May 20
// Hamza CTZ Aziz
The ever lovable Jordan Devore discovered the other day that Adult Swim used a quote of his for the TV ad for Give Up, Robot. After seeing the ad, I decided to check out the game and to finally play Robot Unicorn Attack. Yea...
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Cryptic wants to let Star Trek players into their ships


Feb 15
// Josh Tolentino
Contrary to popular belief, Star Trek isn't always about killing and violence and blowing up legions of hostile starships. Entire episodes of the various TV series can pass by without a single vaporization or bloody maiming. ...
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Microsoft claims that MS Banana Dollars aren't deceptive


Jan 21
// Josh Tolentino
There's always been a lot to buy on the Xbox LIVE Marketplace, and Microsoft is without a doubt hoping you'll spend as much money as possible buying Games on Demand. Unfortunately though, some have accused the 'soft of being ...
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Love Plus Christmas event gives cake, augments reality


Dec 22
// Josh Tolentino
[As posted on Japanator] The life-ruining awesome dating simulator Love Plus does a fine job of adding to the bleak wasteland that is the 3D world on its own, but it seems Konami has yet more plans in store for otaku and thei...
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Time's top ten games of 2009


Dec 09
// Jim Sterling
It's almost the end of the year, which means that top ten lists and reflective features are all the rage. Time magazine is among the first to print its definitive top ten games of 2009, and I'm sure you can all guess which ga...

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