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Super Crap Trophy: Brawl trophy from GameStop is terrible photo

The above image is what GameStop is offering the winner of its Super Smash Bros. Brawl tournament. As you can see, it is the worst thing in the world. It doesn't even have anything to do with Brawl, save for the vague and tenuous hint that the golden man in his underwear might possibly be about to engage in combat of some sort. That, or he's about to crap his unnecessarily tight shorts because he's realized he's a really, really bad trophy. Also, why does he look like Jimmy Osmond!?

Without hyperbole I can say without a shadow of a doubt that this is the single worst thing I have ever seen in my entire life and that it is worse than anything Chris Benoit ever did. Somehow though, GameStop is not only expecting people to desire this lump of rubbish, but to also be proud of possessing it and display it in public as a testament to becoming the "local legend of wreckage."

I expect Jonathan Holmes to bring this monstrosity to the Destructoid camp anon. Then we can burn the thing to cinders.


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78 comments | showing # 1 to 50

Jim Sterling's Avatar - Comment posted on 03/07/2008 07:44
Jim Sterling
btw this is first bit of Brawl news outside of European release dates that I've cared about for a year.
Ali D's Avatar - Comment posted on 03/07/2008 07:45
Ali D
It looks like a handicapped kid taking a dump.

Abominable.
Tron Knotts's Avatar - Comment posted on 03/07/2008 07:50
Tron Knotts
ZOMG 2 Brawl posts front paged in a row time to cblog now about much I dissapprove
PsychosesMan's Avatar - Comment posted on 03/07/2008 07:53
PsychosesMan
Well, I'm impressed. I mean, wow.
Silverhertz's Avatar - Comment posted on 03/07/2008 07:56
Silverhertz
And the winner of the Golden Porcelein Strainer award goes to....thankfully, not me.
Snaileb 's Avatar - Comment posted on 03/07/2008 08:05
Snaileb
Why is Johnathan Holmes doing a Dr. Jekkyl and Mr. Hyde impression?

Also "bring this monstrosity to the Destructoid camp anon" means what?

I will win this, and I will send it to Destructoid HQ.
Pedro Blandino's Avatar - Comment posted on 03/07/2008 08:06
Pedro Blandino
Looks like a really crappy high school wrestling trophy.

Side note. glad I never joined that back in high school. bunch of guys in spandex grabbing one another is not for me.
Cataract's Avatar - Comment posted on 03/07/2008 08:21
Cataract
It looks like a trophy for the special olympics.
Sindicate's Avatar - Comment posted on 03/07/2008 08:25
Sindicate
must. have.
Holyetheline's Avatar - Comment posted on 03/07/2008 08:28
Holyetheline
I will win the trophy just so I can get rid of it.
The-Excel's Avatar - Comment posted on 03/07/2008 08:36
The-Excel
They should give wrestling championship belts as runner-up trophies.
Pagster's Avatar - Comment posted on 03/07/2008 08:38
Pagster
And the mentally handicapped oscar goes to...!
ScottyG's Avatar - Comment posted on 03/07/2008 08:38
ScottyG
Erm, it looks like an amateur wrestling trophy. :S
iron789's Avatar - Comment posted on 03/07/2008 08:39
iron789
Looks like got it from the discount bin at the local trophy shop.
Vigor's Avatar - Comment posted on 03/07/2008 08:41
Vigor
If i won i would just give it back to them, and walk out of the store.
leiden's Avatar - Comment posted on 03/07/2008 08:41
leiden
Gamestop didn't supply this, Nintendo actually sent them to all the Gamestops holding the tournament..

So uh yeah. Nintendo's a bunch of cheap fucks too.

I know this, because people I know who work at Gamestop know this.
CarlostheJackal's Avatar - Comment posted on 03/07/2008 08:46
CarlostheJackal
"It doesn't even have anything to do with Brawl, save for the vague and tenuous hint that the golden man in his underwear might possibly be about to engage in combat of some sort. That, or he's about to crap his unnecessarily tight shorts because he's realized he's a really, really bad trophy."

Jim, you are a grade A word smith my friend. I believe this quote may stand the test of time and make it to the Dtoid Quote Hall of Fame.
saxomophone's Avatar - Comment posted on 03/07/2008 08:51
saxomophone
i just picture a csi episode where the big brother bashes the little brother (who's uber good at brawl) with this trophy. with the obligatory "oh god... what have i done" afterwards. then the camera zooms into that mocking face of the trophy. fin.
Axelay 2's Avatar - Comment posted on 03/07/2008 08:59
Axelay 2
Seriously Jim,

That Chris Benoit comment is truly in bad taste. Going insane and murdering his wife and kid and then committing suicide really isn't funny.

It's a stupid wrestling trophy for Junior High wrestlers hilariously misappropriated for a SSBB competition, probably because GS got a discount on an overstocked item.

If it's the worst thing you ever experience, be grateful.
method47's Avatar - Comment posted on 03/07/2008 09:00
method47
I thought it was life size at first. At least it wasn't THAT bad..
Miguelcar808's Avatar - Comment posted on 03/07/2008 09:06
Miguelcar808
I wouldn't even want that thing in my bathroom.
stevedawg85's Avatar - Comment posted on 03/07/2008 09:06
stevedawg85
Is this for the First place winner, or the first person to get out of the tourney? That "trophy" will play a major role on winners/losers
leiden's Avatar - Comment posted on 03/07/2008 09:07
leiden
@Axelay2

Learn to read comments.

And the Chris Benoit comment was funny.
Artix Lumin's Avatar - Comment posted on 03/07/2008 09:09
Artix Lumin
Wow and I was going to go to that tournament.
Gameboi's Avatar - Comment posted on 03/07/2008 09:16
Gameboi
That's what wrestling trophies look like? Looks like some guy mounting the back of a horse or something.

Not that I'd know what that looks like ;-)
Axelay 2's Avatar - Comment posted on 03/07/2008 09:24
Axelay 2
@ leiden

Wel, my friends who work for the President of the Universe sez that Gamestops decided to purposely buy these trophies cuz they wanted people to feel gheyy for winnin somethinz.

P.S.: You've got problems if you think murdering your own child is a joke. Would you like some child rape limericks too?
Feigro's Avatar - Comment posted on 03/07/2008 09:25
Feigro
Also, Jocks.

Worst trophy gets worst rendition of internet meme.

PS, google "Jocks".
L0cky's Avatar - Comment posted on 03/07/2008 09:27
L0cky
prob they had that trophy already and yust changed the label beneat it so they could finally get rid of it.
MechaMonkey's Avatar - Comment posted on 03/07/2008 09:38
MechaMonkey
"It looks like a handicapped kid taking a dump." - Ali D

/thread
Klytus's Avatar - Comment posted on 03/07/2008 09:44
Klytus
"It looks like a handicapped kid taking a dump."

Perfect for any and all Smash bros. tournament attendees.
GoldBond's Avatar - Comment posted on 03/07/2008 10:01
GoldBond
What does goatse have to do with Smash Bros?
leiden's Avatar - Comment posted on 03/07/2008 10:06
leiden
You should probably go to your gamestop and see that they have a version of this sort of trophy waiting for the winner to.

And yes, I would like child murder jokes, because as long as it's someone elses child, it's always funny.
cleopatrudo's Avatar - Comment posted on 03/07/2008 10:10
cleopatrudo
lol...sooo lame.
Aziel13's Avatar - Comment posted on 03/07/2008 10:26
Aziel13
oh man, ouchers
SonOfABeep's Avatar - Comment posted on 03/07/2008 10:36
SonOfABeep
Further Proof of Fail

http://store.dinntrophy.com/store/specials/wrestling

Dinn Bros. Resin Wrestling Trophy
Dinn Bros. resin wrestling trophies feature fine detailing normally seen in awards costing much more! Set upon a smooth mahogany-finish base featuring 40 letters of free laser engraving ($0.10 per additional character), this trophy is an unbeatable value!
Catalog #: 7170Z
As Low as $4.95 Buy Now!
Mxyzptlk's Avatar - Comment posted on 03/07/2008 10:41
Mxyzptlk
Everyone knows that Chris Benoit actions were caused by his possession by Owen Hart's vengeful spirit.
blitzio's Avatar - Comment posted on 03/07/2008 10:47
blitzio
worst trophy ever.
Necros's Avatar - Comment posted on 03/07/2008 11:21
Necros
Wow. Fuck that shit, even generic trophies look better.
Some Jerk's Avatar - Comment posted on 03/07/2008 11:23
Some Jerk
That looks like something you'd win in an episode of "Pete and Pete".
AngelsDontBurn's Avatar - Comment posted on 03/07/2008 11:46
AngelsDontBurn
That's all you win? Oh wow.
Sharpless's Avatar - Comment posted on 03/07/2008 12:12
Sharpless
MOAR CHRIS BENOIT JOKES.

Sharpless's Avatar - Comment posted on 03/07/2008 12:13
Sharpless
Yes, it's too big, but I don't feel like resizing. Figure it out.
Samit Sarkar's Avatar - Comment posted on 03/07/2008 12:27
Samit Sarkar
Sharpless is the new winner of this thread. Ali D made an admirable effort, though...
Dexter345's Avatar - Comment posted on 03/07/2008 12:32
Dexter345
I don't know, I think the trophy is hilarious. That is, as long as it's meant to be.
Justice's Avatar - Comment posted on 03/07/2008 13:01
Justice
Who did they steal that from?
RAB's Avatar - Comment posted on 03/07/2008 13:13
RAB
@ Sharpless
i think its perfectly sized
though not publically offensive at first glance, only the truly hardcore know about... the trick.


Smash already has close to a hundred, if not more trophies already in it. Ninendo has no excuse.
Hell, i would've settled for an "Ooccoo" trophy
[img] http://nindb.classicgaming.gamespy.com/images/ssbcam/ssbb/trophy_1.jpg[/img]
Kent's Avatar - Comment posted on 03/07/2008 15:03
Kent
DO WANT
Sharpless's Avatar - Comment posted on 03/07/2008 17:35
Sharpless
@RAB
But I was going for "publically offensive."
handdyman's Avatar - Comment posted on 03/07/2008 18:15
handdyman
Wow, that looks absolutely horrible. Who would want to win something like that?!
Wedge's Avatar - Comment posted on 03/07/2008 19:38
Wedge
And good lord. Have you HEARD the radio commercial they have for this thing? Gamestop is so much fail.
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