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Home Super Smash Bros. updates

Super Crap Trophy: Brawl trophy from GameStop is terrible

7:47 AM on 03.07.2008, Jim Sterling 79 comments

Super Crap Trophy: Brawl trophy from GameStop is terrible photo
     Super Smash Bros.

The above image is what GameStop is offering the winner of its Super Smash Bros. Brawl tournament. As you can see, it is the worst thing in the world. It doesn't even have anything to do with Brawl, save for the vague and tenuous hint that the golden man in his underwear might possibly be about to engage in combat of some sort. That, or he's about to crap his unnecessarily tight shorts because he's realized he's a really, really bad trophy. Also, why does he look like Jimmy Osmond!?

Without hyperbole I can say without a shadow of a doubt that this is the single worst thing I have ever seen in my entire life and that it is worse than anything Chris Benoit ever did. Somehow though, GameStop is not only expecting people to desire this lump of rubbish, but to also be proud of possessing it and display it in public as a testament to becoming the "local legend of wreckage."

I expect Jonathan Holmes to bring this monstrosity to the Destructoid camp anon. Then we can burn the thing to cinders.


Next page: More Utterly pathetic stories




Tron Knotts's Avatar
Tron Knotts at 03/07/2008 07:50
ZOMG 2 Brawl posts front paged in a row time to cblog now about much I dissapprove
PsychosesMan's Avatar
PsychosesMan at 03/07/2008 07:53
Well, I'm impressed. I mean, wow.
Silverhertz's Avatar
Silverhertz at 03/07/2008 07:56
And the winner of the Golden Porcelein Strainer award goes to....thankfully, not me.
Snaileb 's Avatar
Snaileb at 03/07/2008 08:05
Why is Johnathan Holmes doing a Dr. Jekkyl and Mr. Hyde impression?

Also "bring this monstrosity to the Destructoid camp anon" means what?

I will win this, and I will send it to Destructoid HQ.
Pedro Blandino's Avatar
Pedro Blandino at 03/07/2008 08:06
Looks like a really crappy high school wrestling trophy.

Side note. glad I never joined that back in high school. bunch of guys in spandex grabbing one another is not for me.
Cataract's Avatar
Cataract at 03/07/2008 08:21
It looks like a trophy for the special olympics.
Sindicate's Avatar
Sindicate at 03/07/2008 08:25
must. have.
Holyetheline's Avatar
Holyetheline at 03/07/2008 08:28
I will win the trophy just so I can get rid of it.
The-Excel's Avatar
The-Excel at 03/07/2008 08:36
They should give wrestling championship belts as runner-up trophies.
Pagster's Avatar
Pagster at 03/07/2008 08:38
And the mentally handicapped oscar goes to...!
ScottyG's Avatar
ScottyG at 03/07/2008 08:38
Erm, it looks like an amateur wrestling trophy. :S
iron789's Avatar
iron789 at 03/07/2008 08:39
Looks like got it from the discount bin at the local trophy shop.
Vigor's Avatar
Vigor at 03/07/2008 08:41
If i won i would just give it back to them, and walk out of the store.
leiden's Avatar
leiden at 03/07/2008 08:41
Gamestop didn't supply this, Nintendo actually sent them to all the Gamestops holding the tournament..

So uh yeah. Nintendo's a bunch of cheap fucks too.

I know this, because people I know who work at Gamestop know this.
CarlostheJackal's Avatar
CarlostheJackal at 03/07/2008 08:46
"It doesn't even have anything to do with Brawl, save for the vague and tenuous hint that the golden man in his underwear might possibly be about to engage in combat of some sort. That, or he's about to crap his unnecessarily tight shorts because he's realized he's a really, really bad trophy."

Jim, you are a grade A word smith my friend. I believe this quote may stand the test of time and make it to the Dtoid Quote Hall of Fame.
saxomophone's Avatar
saxomophone at 03/07/2008 08:51
i just picture a csi episode where the big brother bashes the little brother (who's uber good at brawl) with this trophy. with the obligatory "oh god... what have i done" afterwards. then the camera zooms into that mocking face of the trophy. fin.
Axelay 2's Avatar
Axelay 2 at 03/07/2008 08:59
Seriously Jim,

That Chris Benoit comment is truly in bad taste. Going insane and murdering his wife and kid and then committing suicide really isn't funny.

It's a stupid wrestling trophy for Junior High wrestlers hilariously misappropriated for a SSBB competition, probably because GS got a discount on an overstocked item.

If it's the worst thing you ever experience, be grateful.
method47's Avatar
method47 at 03/07/2008 09:00
I thought it was life size at first. At least it wasn't THAT bad..
Miguelcar808's Avatar
Miguelcar808 at 03/07/2008 09:06
I wouldn't even want that thing in my bathroom.
stevedawg85's Avatar
stevedawg85 at 03/07/2008 09:06
Is this for the First place winner, or the first person to get out of the tourney? That "trophy" will play a major role on winners/losers
leiden's Avatar
leiden at 03/07/2008 09:07
@Axelay2

Learn to read comments.

And the Chris Benoit comment was funny.
Artix Lumin's Avatar
Artix Lumin at 03/07/2008 09:09
Wow and I was going to go to that tournament.
Gameboi's Avatar
Gameboi at 03/07/2008 09:16
That's what wrestling trophies look like? Looks like some guy mounting the back of a horse or something.

Not that I'd know what that looks like ;-)
Axelay 2's Avatar
Axelay 2 at 03/07/2008 09:24
@ leiden

Wel, my friends who work for the President of the Universe sez that Gamestops decided to purposely buy these trophies cuz they wanted people to feel gheyy for winnin somethinz.

P.S.: You've got problems if you think murdering your own child is a joke. Would you like some child rape limericks too?
Feigro's Avatar
Feigro at 03/07/2008 09:25
Also, Jocks.

Worst trophy gets worst rendition of internet meme.

PS, google "Jocks".
L0cky's Avatar
L0cky at 03/07/2008 09:27
prob they had that trophy already and yust changed the label beneat it so they could finally get rid of it.
MechaMonkey's Avatar
MechaMonkey at 03/07/2008 09:38
"It looks like a handicapped kid taking a dump." - Ali D

/thread
Klytus's Avatar
Klytus at 03/07/2008 09:44
"It looks like a handicapped kid taking a dump."

Perfect for any and all Smash bros. tournament attendees.
GoldBond's Avatar
GoldBond at 03/07/2008 10:01
What does goatse have to do with Smash Bros?
leiden's Avatar
leiden at 03/07/2008 10:06
You should probably go to your gamestop and see that they have a version of this sort of trophy waiting for the winner to.

And yes, I would like child murder jokes, because as long as it's someone elses child, it's always funny.
cleopatrudo's Avatar
cleopatrudo at 03/07/2008 10:10
lol...sooo lame.
Aziel13's Avatar
Aziel13 at 03/07/2008 10:26
oh man, ouchers
SonOfABeep's Avatar
SonOfABeep at 03/07/2008 10:36
Further Proof of Fail

http://store.dinntrophy.com/store/specials/wrestling

Dinn Bros. Resin Wrestling Trophy
Dinn Bros. resin wrestling trophies feature fine detailing normally seen in awards costing much more! Set upon a smooth mahogany-finish base featuring 40 letters of free laser engraving ($0.10 per additional character), this trophy is an unbeatable value!
Catalog #: 7170Z
As Low as $4.95 Buy Now!
Mxyzptlk's Avatar
Mxyzptlk at 03/07/2008 10:41
Everyone knows that Chris Benoit actions were caused by his possession by Owen Hart's vengeful spirit.
blitzio's Avatar
blitzio at 03/07/2008 10:47
worst trophy ever.
Necros's Avatar
Necros at 03/07/2008 11:21
Wow. Fuck that shit, even generic trophies look better.
Some Jerk's Avatar
Some Jerk at 03/07/2008 11:23
That looks like something you'd win in an episode of "Pete and Pete".
AngelsDontBurn's Avatar
AngelsDontBurn at 03/07/2008 11:46
That's all you win? Oh wow.
Sharpless's Avatar
Sharpless at 03/07/2008 12:12
MOAR CHRIS BENOIT JOKES.

Sharpless's Avatar
Sharpless at 03/07/2008 12:13
Yes, it's too big, but I don't feel like resizing. Figure it out.
Samit Sarkar's Avatar
Samit Sarkar at 03/07/2008 12:27
Sharpless is the new winner of this thread. Ali D made an admirable effort, though...
Dexter345's Avatar
Dexter345 at 03/07/2008 12:32
I don't know, I think the trophy is hilarious. That is, as long as it's meant to be.
Justice's Avatar
Justice at 03/07/2008 13:01
Who did they steal that from?
RAB's Avatar
RAB at 03/07/2008 13:13
@ Sharpless
i think its perfectly sized
though not publically offensive at first glance, only the truly hardcore know about... the trick.


Smash already has close to a hundred, if not more trophies already in it. Ninendo has no excuse.
Hell, i would've settled for an "Ooccoo" trophy
[img] http://nindb.classicgaming.gamespy.com/images/ssbcam/ssbb/trophy_1.jpg[/img]
Kent's Avatar
Kent at 03/07/2008 15:03
DO WANT
Sharpless's Avatar
Sharpless at 03/07/2008 17:35
@RAB
But I was going for "publically offensive."
handdyman's Avatar
handdyman at 03/07/2008 18:15
Wow, that looks absolutely horrible. Who would want to win something like that?!
Wedge's Avatar
Wedge at 03/07/2008 19:38
And good lord. Have you HEARD the radio commercial they have for this thing? Gamestop is so much fail.
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