games  anime  |  toys
Destructoid is gaming news, community, videos, and sometimes love. Take the tour or jump in with Facebook:

 


Subscribed to EGM? Enjoy your new Maxim subscription! photo

EGM died a painful and cruel death, but its legacy has been done justice. Those still subscribed to the (officially) dead magazine need not worry that their money was spent unwisely, because instead of EGM, they will now instead be receiving Maxim. Yes, salacious bikini shots for people afraid of real pornography and articles about the best lager shall make a fine replacement for a gaming magazine.

Before we get too sarcastic, let us not forget that Maxim is written by true gaming connoisseurs. After all, they are the only print magazine brave enough to voice what we all know -- that 50 Cent: Blood on the Sand is better than Killzone 2. They're also able to fully review any major videogame in 500 words or less. That's hardcore!

Such lucky, lucky subscribers! They'll be able to write a letter and cancel for a small rebate if they wish, but really, why would they want to?


Continue: More STOOPID! stories





prev next

44 comments | showing # 1 to 44

AgentMOO's Avatar - Comment posted on 06/16/2009 10:07
AgentMOO
And the award for successfully cultivating a diverse demographic goes to... someone else.
DeusPayne's Avatar - Comment posted on 06/16/2009 10:09
DeusPayne
So... the rebirth of the magazine did nothing to retain subscribers? Are they just going to ask everyone to pony up the yearly cost just because they're under new management...
TheToiletDuck's Avatar - Comment posted on 06/16/2009 10:17
TheToiletDuck
@DeusPayne sure they could, if you want them to be bankrupt before they have even restarted.
Wintersocks's Avatar - Comment posted on 06/16/2009 10:20
Wintersocks
Ale is sooo much better than Lager.

Then again:

Fantus's Avatar - Comment posted on 06/16/2009 10:20
Fantus
"Yes, salacious bikini shots for people afraid of real pornography..."

Remember Jim, not all of us like to watch women/men being shat on.
Sexualchocolate's Avatar - Comment posted on 06/16/2009 10:20
Sexualchocolate
Surely they can't legally do this?
At least not without offering a subscription cancellation / refund?

I mean, I subscribe to Total Guitar and would be seriouslly pissed if they decided to start sending me Piano Today or Hello kitty Weekly or something instead.
JamnOnTheOne's Avatar - Comment posted on 06/16/2009 10:31
JamnOnTheOne
"After all, they are the only print magazine brave enough to voice what we all know -- that 50 Cent: Blood on the Sand is better than Killzone 2."

...I thought it was better than Killzone 2.

Anyway, the issue that you get comes with an explanation note as to why you're receiving it. All you have to do is mail a letter to get a pro-rated refund for whatever is left on your EGM subscription. I'm getting $20 back.

But, it's easier to be sensationalist about it and leave off the important piece in the linked article about the ability to cancel and get a refund.
Necros's Avatar - Comment posted on 06/16/2009 10:46
Necros
Lovely enough, my Dad opened up the magazine's shrinkwrap and likely threw out the instructions on how to get the refund for my issues instead of the crappy magazine, since he has the same name as me. Anyone else have the instructions handy?
CommanderPoopypants's Avatar - Comment posted on 06/16/2009 10:47
CommanderPoopypants
@JamnOnTheOne You seem to be yet another assbag wandering virtual streets you have no business treading. Go put your troll comments on a shitty game site instead of a great one. Dumbass
GoldenGamerXero's Avatar - Comment posted on 06/16/2009 10:57
GoldenGamerXero
@Necros

That's the best father's day present EVER!
Blasto's Avatar - Comment posted on 06/16/2009 10:59
Blasto
LMAO I just received this yesterday and thought it was fucked that they would send a porn mag for underage boys/life manual for frat tards to replace the awesomeness of EGM. I just wonder how many moms raised an eyebrow when this arrived in the mail with their kids name on it XD . Kind of a strange choice I think.

Also, not to be a downer, but t's very sad Maxim is able to thrive while EGM is no more :(
Cataract's Avatar - Comment posted on 06/16/2009 11:04
Cataract
@CPP

Chill out a bit. I don't see why you're flipping out on Jamn. He's not trolling, and when you say that someone is "wandering virtual streets", you sound like a goddamn idiot. Next time, think before you talk/type/breathe.

I do agree with what Jamn says, though. A bit of info on how to get the rebate would've been nice. I think I've still got a month or two left of EGM, but I don't mind Maxim that much, it's something easy to read that I can use to pass time.
bluemeep's Avatar - Comment posted on 06/16/2009 11:05
bluemeep
Now I just need some issues of Highlights For Children and I can recreate that dentist office waiting room experience in my own home.
AaronKI's Avatar - Comment posted on 06/16/2009 11:06
AaronKI
@Blasto: That was the first thing I thought of... all of the young kids who got EGM and whether or not their parents will overreact.


I hope this doesn't apply to free subscribers.
Blasto's Avatar - Comment posted on 06/16/2009 11:06
Blasto
@ Necros
"If you would like a pro-rated refund, please send your mailing label or name and address to: Maxim, PO Box 420235, Palm Coast FL 32142-0235 "

You're welcome :)
CALkulon's Avatar - Comment posted on 06/16/2009 11:07
CALkulon
@CP:

Completely agree with Otomiruninja, that was totally unnecessary. Especially when you also consider Jim's promotion of a gold selling website the other day :-/
Cataract's Avatar - Comment posted on 06/16/2009 11:10
Cataract
I'M A VIRTUAL COWBOY

I WANDER THESE VIRTUAL STREETS


I'm gonna be loling fa daaaaaaays
acidspunk's Avatar - Comment posted on 06/16/2009 11:11
acidspunk
Oh Jim you're such a provocateur. I'm surprised the article is not at 100 comments already. Maybe next time just write about how much better FFXIII and Tekken 6 will look on 360 xD
FatherChesz's Avatar - Comment posted on 06/16/2009 11:15
FatherChesz
Well, this explains the random Maxim issue delivered to the house yesterday. And here I thought my roommate was trying to send his girlfriend a hint. Lolz.
Blasto's Avatar - Comment posted on 06/16/2009 11:17
Blasto
@ anti-poopy guys

to be fair, while Poopy was kinda harsh, Jim did say at the bottom of the post that a refund was available. I don't see why Jim needed to include the info in a simple, article meant to add some humour to a slow news day as people affected- (unless their dad threw it away :) - will get the label with the mag. And Jamn said 50 cent is better than Killzone 2 which sounds retarded. Both sides bear some blame I think :)
CRAZYAPE69's Avatar - Comment posted on 06/16/2009 11:18
CRAZYAPE69
middle girl has a nice body but her face is like a dogs arse
Guttlesswonder's Avatar - Comment posted on 06/16/2009 11:22
Guttlesswonder
My wife is gonna love this. I am totally screwed.
The Pat Man's Avatar - Comment posted on 06/16/2009 11:31
The Pat Man
The refund shall allow me to buy those Killzone 2 maps that my broke ass hasn't gotten yet. That's definitely better than this. I already know how to use the internet and I have a PSP. So I see no point in keeping the subscription to portable semi-porn. Now I just need my issue delivered so I can cancel and get my money.
StokeYdral's Avatar - Comment posted on 06/16/2009 11:40
StokeYdral
Well fuck me. My subscription was sent to my extremely conservative grandmothers house because when I signed up I was in the middle of looking for a new place. This will not be fun trying to explain why I'm getting "porno" mailed to her house.
CommanderPoopypants's Avatar - Comment posted on 06/16/2009 11:51
CommanderPoopypants
I was venting @JamnOnTheOne because he said KZ2 is better than Blood on the Sand, which is really a noob thing to say. @Otomiruninja Nice try at seeming funny, better luck next time. One day you'll be hanging out with real girls, I have faith in you. *ROFL*
Cataract's Avatar - Comment posted on 06/16/2009 12:00
Cataract
GOT MY VIRTUAL GIRLS

I DONT NEED NO STANK ASS REAL GIRLS. THEY DON'T GET ME.

VIRTUAL PIMP, SON. WORD.
Colette Bennett's Avatar - Comment posted on 06/16/2009 12:07
Colette Bennett
I'm all good with Maxim, but what if younger kids had a subscription to EGM before and now Maxim shows up? Like what @StokeYdral said above....could make for weird situations :(
Cuppy's Avatar - Comment posted on 06/16/2009 12:08
Cuppy
...Yeah I was wondering why I got that in the mail. brb canceling that shit.
t3chn1k4l's Avatar - Comment posted on 06/16/2009 12:12
t3chn1k4l
Here I thought my girl had filled out the subscription card in one of the magizines I picked up when I knew it was gonna be slow @ work. Leave it to Destructoid to solve the world's mysteries. Guess I'll keep it and pay EGM some more money.
CommanderPoopypants's Avatar - Comment posted on 06/16/2009 12:12
CommanderPoopypants
@Cataract Don't you have something better to do? Like maybe playing the piano to Game Melody Oratorio Volumes 1 and 2? Yeeeaaahhh that's I thought lmao.
waves's Avatar - Comment posted on 06/16/2009 12:13
waves
I used to do retouching for Maxim. While the girls are hot, they look a lot more like bar skanks without teh photoshop.
milk's Avatar - Comment posted on 06/16/2009 12:14
milk
So that's where it came from. Didn't remember subscribing to it.
Necros's Avatar - Comment posted on 06/16/2009 12:20
Necros
@ Blasto

Thank you!
Blasto's Avatar - Comment posted on 06/16/2009 12:32
Blasto
@Necros
Glad to help, no one should have to suffer Maxim (although your dad may be disappointed lol)

@ Collette
You don't have to be good with Maxim. It's ok to say Maxim is shitty garbage, everyone will still love you :)

@ lol @ Waves, too true, but I would say a lot of them look that way AFTER the shoops
PwnanObrien's Avatar - Comment posted on 06/16/2009 12:38
PwnanObrien
Maxim: the official magazine of douchebags who rate supermodels and actresses without introspectively looking at their own lives as an overweight security guard at SEARS.
Magnalon's Avatar - Comment posted on 06/16/2009 12:46
Magnalon
@Pwnan
So true. I've never been a prude, but when people start busting out the ratings system excessively and shit, I just go "dude ugly as shit, wtf".
Blasto's Avatar - Comment posted on 06/16/2009 12:53
Blasto
@ Magnalon
You can't just say "dude ugly as shit, wtf", you have to have a number with it to validate your review, duh!
fozzyozzy's Avatar - Comment posted on 06/16/2009 13:19
fozzyozzy
Shit, this has been going on for a while, no? I started getting MAXIM in the mail about a year ago and I always just assumed it was some lazy sales kid just plugging in my address. Would have been nice to know the money I paid to EGM was funding this craptastic "literature".

Seriously, I would rather my money go to Cat Fancy magazine than some Axe bodyspray swilling recycled paper softcore stroke mag. I would rather pay extra to have back issues of EGM sent to my house instead of this mountain bike humping waste of ink.
JamnOnTheOne's Avatar - Comment posted on 06/16/2009 13:29
JamnOnTheOne
@CommanderPoopypants

I don't know if it's a n00b thing to say, but I really am extracting more enjoyment out of the outrageous antics of 50 Cent versus KZ2. That's just my taste however. Maybe my lack of "?" for implied sarcasm was missing.

Either way, the original post has been updated and information is being disseminated properly.
ZekeThePlumber's Avatar - Comment posted on 06/16/2009 13:40
ZekeThePlumber
Haha, this explains a lot. Yesterday I got an issue in the mail which was first discovered by my sister. It was somewhat awkward trying to explain I knew nothing about it with my full name, address, and subscription number printed on the front cover.
oloacoo's Avatar - Comment posted on 06/16/2009 13:42
oloacoo
To bad I subscribe to PTOM.
The-Excel's Avatar - Comment posted on 06/16/2009 13:46
The-Excel
I've gotten packages clearly intended for someone else in the past. Thing is, my high school used to have a subscription to this and other gaming magazines. I can't wait to hear the reaction from them.
mrplow8's Avatar - Comment posted on 06/16/2009 17:57
mrplow8
Isn't Maxim just Playboy for sissies?
Nerdy Suit's Avatar - Comment posted on 06/17/2009 10:44
Nerdy Suit
So all of the 12-year-old boys who had subscribed to EGM now get to see tight and almost naked 21-year-old girls!

Saweeet!
prev next

Comment with Facebook





Click connect and comment instantly!

Comment with Dtoid





New? SIGN UP - it takes 5 seconds

Comments policy

Destructoid is an open discussion community. You don't need to "audition" to post a comment - just speak your mind. We respect differing opinions on the site, so have at it. Be smart, funny, insightful, clueless, or cute -- but back it up with substance. Keep your cool, keep it fun. We only ask that you act respectfully and above all: don't be a troll and ruin it for everyone else. Don't bring down gamers or we'll, you know, gently shoot you in the face and stuff you into a flaming mailbox. Each comment is your opportuntity to make this community awesomer. Is that even a word?

Avoiding the banhammer only requires common sense: spamming, trolling, racism, NSFW stuff, and other forms of sucking will not be tolerated. If anyone is griefing please report abuse. Be good. Don't suck!

 
New on Destructoid.TV play all videos

Loading
Loading Destructoid Videos

    Win this!
    Dive in! meetup+play for a chance to win a PC

    Dtoid Twitter    Got news?   tips@destructoid.com

    Reviews & Previews
    Resident Evil: The Darkside Chronicles review
    Left 4 Dead 2 review
    Call of Duty: Modern Warfare Reflex review
    Arkedo Series - 02 SWAP! review
    EyePet review
    more reviews
    Chugging along with Legend of Zelda Spirit Tracks
    Online Lessons 101 Monster Slaying in Monster Hunter Tri
    Hooking onto, under and above Just Cause 2
    PS3's 256-player MAG
    Rooms The Main Building
    more previews


    - The Dtoid Army is 50657 strong -

    Showing Cblogs with 3+ faps   show all

    Call for entries: do the wrong thing
    New to Dtoid? Read the survival guide




     Originals
    Chad Concelmo: The Memory Card .76: Brotherly love





















    More Destructoid Originals



     Popular now more






















    Team Destructoid   tips@destructoid.com
    Nick Chester
    Editor-in-Chief    		 Niero
    Founder, publisher
    Jim Sterling
    Reviews Editor    		 Hamza Aziz
    Community Manager
    Dale North
    News Editor    		 Rey Gutierrez
    Video editor & director
    Anthony Burch
    Features Editor    		 Colette Bennett
    Tom Fronczak Brad Nicholson
    Ashley Davis Ben Perlee
    Conrad
    Zimmerman    		 Chad Concelmo
    Jonathan Holmes Jonathan Ross
    Brad Rice Jordan Devore
    Will Maddock Matthew Razak
    Dyson Joseph Leray
    Topher Cantler Samit Sarkar
         
      Dexter
    Adam Dork
    Daniel Lingen
    Hollie Bennett
         		Joe Burling
    Mikey
    Stella Wong
    Josh Tolentino




     

     
      get involved

    register or login
    post a blog
    post a forum
    enter a contest
    contribute a news tip
    suggest a feature
    be a guest editor
    		 support

    new member's guide
    login assistance
    tech support
    report abuse
    email our editors
    read our dev blog
    nuclear crisis?
    		 keep in touch

    RSS feed
    Twitter
    Facebook
    Myspace
    Flickr
    Game nights
    Meetup+play online     		seriously

    about Destructoid
    advertising
    terms of use
    privacy policy
    jobs at MM
    buy our crap     		our network

    Tomopop
    Japanator
    Despingation?



    Destructoid is an independently-run publication forged by our love of video games and the gaming community's need of accountable enthusiast press
    living the dream since March 16, 2006