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Subscribed to EGM? Enjoy your new Maxim subscription! photo

EGM died a painful and cruel death, but its legacy has been done justice. Those still subscribed to the (officially) dead magazine need not worry that their money was spent unwisely, because instead of EGM, they will now instead be receiving Maxim. Yes, salacious bikini shots for people afraid of real pornography and articles about the best lager shall make a fine replacement for a gaming magazine.

Before we get too sarcastic, let us not forget that Maxim is written by true gaming connoisseurs. After all, they are the only print magazine brave enough to voice what we all know -- that 50 Cent: Blood on the Sand is better than Killzone 2. They're also able to fully review any major videogame in 500 words or less. That's hardcore!

Such lucky, lucky subscribers! They'll be able to write a letter and cancel for a small rebate if they wish, but really, why would they want to?


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44 comments | showing # 1 to 44

AgentMOO's Avatar
AgentMOO at 06/16/2009 10:07
And the award for successfully cultivating a diverse demographic goes to... someone else.
DeusPayne's Avatar
DeusPayne at 06/16/2009 10:09
So... the rebirth of the magazine did nothing to retain subscribers? Are they just going to ask everyone to pony up the yearly cost just because they're under new management...
TheToiletDuck's Avatar
TheToiletDuck at 06/16/2009 10:17
@DeusPayne sure they could, if you want them to be bankrupt before they have even restarted.
Wintersocks's Avatar
Wintersocks at 06/16/2009 10:20
Ale is sooo much better than Lager.

Then again:

Fantus's Avatar
Fantus at 06/16/2009 10:20
"Yes, salacious bikini shots for people afraid of real pornography..."

Remember Jim, not all of us like to watch women/men being shat on.
Sexualchocolate's Avatar
Sexualchocolate at 06/16/2009 10:20
Surely they can't legally do this?
At least not without offering a subscription cancellation / refund?

I mean, I subscribe to Total Guitar and would be seriouslly pissed if they decided to start sending me Piano Today or Hello kitty Weekly or something instead.
JamnOnTheOne's Avatar
JamnOnTheOne at 06/16/2009 10:31
"After all, they are the only print magazine brave enough to voice what we all know -- that 50 Cent: Blood on the Sand is better than Killzone 2."

...I thought it was better than Killzone 2.

Anyway, the issue that you get comes with an explanation note as to why you're receiving it. All you have to do is mail a letter to get a pro-rated refund for whatever is left on your EGM subscription. I'm getting $20 back.

But, it's easier to be sensationalist about it and leave off the important piece in the linked article about the ability to cancel and get a refund.
Necros's Avatar
Necros at 06/16/2009 10:46
Lovely enough, my Dad opened up the magazine's shrinkwrap and likely threw out the instructions on how to get the refund for my issues instead of the crappy magazine, since he has the same name as me. Anyone else have the instructions handy?
CommanderPoopypants's Avatar
CommanderPoopypants at 06/16/2009 10:47
@JamnOnTheOne You seem to be yet another assbag wandering virtual streets you have no business treading. Go put your troll comments on a shitty game site instead of a great one. Dumbass
GoldenGamerXero's Avatar
GoldenGamerXero at 06/16/2009 10:57
@Necros

That's the best father's day present EVER!
Blasto's Avatar
Blasto at 06/16/2009 10:59
LMAO I just received this yesterday and thought it was fucked that they would send a porn mag for underage boys/life manual for frat tards to replace the awesomeness of EGM. I just wonder how many moms raised an eyebrow when this arrived in the mail with their kids name on it XD . Kind of a strange choice I think.

Also, not to be a downer, but t's very sad Maxim is able to thrive while EGM is no more :(
Cataract's Avatar
Cataract at 06/16/2009 11:04
@CPP

Chill out a bit. I don't see why you're flipping out on Jamn. He's not trolling, and when you say that someone is "wandering virtual streets", you sound like a goddamn idiot. Next time, think before you talk/type/breathe.

I do agree with what Jamn says, though. A bit of info on how to get the rebate would've been nice. I think I've still got a month or two left of EGM, but I don't mind Maxim that much, it's something easy to read that I can use to pass time.
bluemeep's Avatar
bluemeep at 06/16/2009 11:05
Now I just need some issues of Highlights For Children and I can recreate that dentist office waiting room experience in my own home.
AaronKI's Avatar
AaronKI at 06/16/2009 11:06
@Blasto: That was the first thing I thought of... all of the young kids who got EGM and whether or not their parents will overreact.


I hope this doesn't apply to free subscribers.
Blasto's Avatar
Blasto at 06/16/2009 11:06
@ Necros
"If you would like a pro-rated refund, please send your mailing label or name and address to: Maxim, PO Box 420235, Palm Coast FL 32142-0235 "

You're welcome :)
CALkulon's Avatar
CALkulon at 06/16/2009 11:07
@CP:

Completely agree with Otomiruninja, that was totally unnecessary. Especially when you also consider Jim's promotion of a gold selling website the other day :-/
Cataract's Avatar
Cataract at 06/16/2009 11:10
I'M A VIRTUAL COWBOY

I WANDER THESE VIRTUAL STREETS


I'm gonna be loling fa daaaaaaays
acidspunk's Avatar
acidspunk at 06/16/2009 11:11
Oh Jim you're such a provocateur. I'm surprised the article is not at 100 comments already. Maybe next time just write about how much better FFXIII and Tekken 6 will look on 360 xD
FatherChesz's Avatar
FatherChesz at 06/16/2009 11:15
Well, this explains the random Maxim issue delivered to the house yesterday. And here I thought my roommate was trying to send his girlfriend a hint. Lolz.
Blasto's Avatar
Blasto at 06/16/2009 11:17
@ anti-poopy guys

to be fair, while Poopy was kinda harsh, Jim did say at the bottom of the post that a refund was available. I don't see why Jim needed to include the info in a simple, article meant to add some humour to a slow news day as people affected- (unless their dad threw it away :) - will get the label with the mag. And Jamn said 50 cent is better than Killzone 2 which sounds retarded. Both sides bear some blame I think :)
CRAZYAPE69's Avatar
CRAZYAPE69 at 06/16/2009 11:18
middle girl has a nice body but her face is like a dogs arse
Guttlesswonder's Avatar
Guttlesswonder at 06/16/2009 11:22
My wife is gonna love this. I am totally screwed.
The Pat Man's Avatar
The Pat Man at 06/16/2009 11:31
The refund shall allow me to buy those Killzone 2 maps that my broke ass hasn't gotten yet. That's definitely better than this. I already know how to use the internet and I have a PSP. So I see no point in keeping the subscription to portable semi-porn. Now I just need my issue delivered so I can cancel and get my money.
StokeYdral's Avatar
StokeYdral at 06/16/2009 11:40
Well fuck me. My subscription was sent to my extremely conservative grandmothers house because when I signed up I was in the middle of looking for a new place. This will not be fun trying to explain why I'm getting "porno" mailed to her house.
CommanderPoopypants's Avatar
CommanderPoopypants at 06/16/2009 11:51
I was venting @JamnOnTheOne because he said KZ2 is better than Blood on the Sand, which is really a noob thing to say. @Otomiruninja Nice try at seeming funny, better luck next time. One day you'll be hanging out with real girls, I have faith in you. *ROFL*
Cataract's Avatar
Cataract at 06/16/2009 12:00
GOT MY VIRTUAL GIRLS

I DONT NEED NO STANK ASS REAL GIRLS. THEY DON'T GET ME.

VIRTUAL PIMP, SON. WORD.
Colette Bennett's Avatar
Colette Bennett at 06/16/2009 12:07
I'm all good with Maxim, but what if younger kids had a subscription to EGM before and now Maxim shows up? Like what @StokeYdral said above....could make for weird situations :(
Cuppy's Avatar
Cuppy at 06/16/2009 12:08
...Yeah I was wondering why I got that in the mail. brb canceling that shit.
t3chn1k4l's Avatar
t3chn1k4l at 06/16/2009 12:12
Here I thought my girl had filled out the subscription card in one of the magizines I picked up when I knew it was gonna be slow @ work. Leave it to Destructoid to solve the world's mysteries. Guess I'll keep it and pay EGM some more money.
CommanderPoopypants's Avatar
CommanderPoopypants at 06/16/2009 12:12
@Cataract Don't you have something better to do? Like maybe playing the piano to Game Melody Oratorio Volumes 1 and 2? Yeeeaaahhh that's I thought lmao.
waves's Avatar
waves at 06/16/2009 12:13
I used to do retouching for Maxim. While the girls are hot, they look a lot more like bar skanks without teh photoshop.
milk's Avatar
milk at 06/16/2009 12:14
So that's where it came from. Didn't remember subscribing to it.
Necros's Avatar
Necros at 06/16/2009 12:20
@ Blasto

Thank you!
Blasto's Avatar
Blasto at 06/16/2009 12:32
@Necros
Glad to help, no one should have to suffer Maxim (although your dad may be disappointed lol)

@ Collette
You don't have to be good with Maxim. It's ok to say Maxim is shitty garbage, everyone will still love you :)

@ lol @ Waves, too true, but I would say a lot of them look that way AFTER the shoops
PwnanObrien's Avatar
PwnanObrien at 06/16/2009 12:38
Maxim: the official magazine of douchebags who rate supermodels and actresses without introspectively looking at their own lives as an overweight security guard at SEARS.
Magnalon's Avatar
Magnalon at 06/16/2009 12:46
@Pwnan
So true. I've never been a prude, but when people start busting out the ratings system excessively and shit, I just go "dude ugly as shit, wtf".
Blasto's Avatar
Blasto at 06/16/2009 12:53
@ Magnalon
You can't just say "dude ugly as shit, wtf", you have to have a number with it to validate your review, duh!
fozzyozzy's Avatar
fozzyozzy at 06/16/2009 13:19
Shit, this has been going on for a while, no? I started getting MAXIM in the mail about a year ago and I always just assumed it was some lazy sales kid just plugging in my address. Would have been nice to know the money I paid to EGM was funding this craptastic "literature".

Seriously, I would rather my money go to Cat Fancy magazine than some Axe bodyspray swilling recycled paper softcore stroke mag. I would rather pay extra to have back issues of EGM sent to my house instead of this mountain bike humping waste of ink.
JamnOnTheOne's Avatar
JamnOnTheOne at 06/16/2009 13:29
@CommanderPoopypants

I don't know if it's a n00b thing to say, but I really am extracting more enjoyment out of the outrageous antics of 50 Cent versus KZ2. That's just my taste however. Maybe my lack of "?" for implied sarcasm was missing.

Either way, the original post has been updated and information is being disseminated properly.
ZekeThePlumber's Avatar
ZekeThePlumber at 06/16/2009 13:40
Haha, this explains a lot. Yesterday I got an issue in the mail which was first discovered by my sister. It was somewhat awkward trying to explain I knew nothing about it with my full name, address, and subscription number printed on the front cover.
oloacoo's Avatar
oloacoo at 06/16/2009 13:42
To bad I subscribe to PTOM.
The-Excel's Avatar
The-Excel at 06/16/2009 13:46
I've gotten packages clearly intended for someone else in the past. Thing is, my high school used to have a subscription to this and other gaming magazines. I can't wait to hear the reaction from them.
mrplow8's Avatar
mrplow8 at 06/16/2009 17:57
Isn't Maxim just Playboy for sissies?
Nerdy Suit's Avatar
Nerdy Suit at 06/17/2009 10:44
So all of the 12-year-old boys who had subscribed to EGM now get to see tight and almost naked 21-year-old girls!

Saweeet!
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