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Storm's Adventures! Bite Me, Mass Effect!

1:20 PM on 05.08.2010

Storm Dain

Video Ninja

The white knuckle finale of the GISHAOTYA (Games I Should Have Adventured On Two Years Ago) series has finally arrived.  One of the last games released in the year 2007 was Mass Effect and I effectively ignored it because I effectively lacked the proper console.  As with most games in this series, the hype was through the roof, and I have to find out why everyone I knew I was wrong.  Witness my mastery while I create the ugliest human in space, and then get him LAID!

Then we move onto Mass Effect 2, where space is spacier and the Krogan are Kroganier.  Now we basically have Gears of War in space.  Wait, isn't Gears of War in space?  No, the Locust came out of the ground, so they're not aliens.  But they're on a planet called Sera...did we travel there?  And is Marcus Fenix bi-curious?  At any rate, Mass Effect 2 gives us a real jolt by killing the main character with the first 10 minutes.  Watch the video to see him wake to galaxy full of Redshirts and big, phat asses.

Yes, yes, I do whine quite a bit.  That's what happens when a game deletes my save files just because I wanted to start over on a new path, thus delaying my video.  Damn you BioWare.


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Storm Dain
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