Quantcast
Steaming turd tossing in the Crystal Bearers ESRB-nounced - Destructoid




Game database:   #ABCDEFGHIJKLMNOPQRSTUVWXYZ         ALL     Xbox One     PS4     360     PS3     WiiU     Wii     PC     3DS     DS     PS Vita     PSP     iOS     Android


Steaming turd tossing in the Crystal Bearers ESRB-nounced


8:00 PM on 10.10.2009





Everything may seem serene in the above video, but Final Fantasy Crystal Chronicles: The Crystal Bearers promises to be quite "nasty". According to the ESRB, The Crystal Bearers will include "damn", "hell", "bikinis that expose deep cleavage", "telekinetic powers to throw people off cliffs", "a goblin samurai holding a sake-shaped bottle (who) appears to be drunk", "steaming manure", "You were peeping?!" and "How icky of you to watch girls changing!"

Any game that takes the premise of Hancock, puts it in the Final Fantasy Crystal Chronicles universe, then releases itself on f*cking Kwanzaa has my utmost respect. Add skeletons on motorcycles, break-dance fighting, and now psychic turd flinging, and you have something unlike any other game out there. Even if The Crystal Bearers completely sucks, I'll still want it for the novelty alone.

Still not convinced? Then hit the jump to see a group of levitating moogles get their collective-crotch grabbed. 

Kwanzaa can't come soon enough...

[via Siliconera






Comments not appearing? Anti-virus apps like Avast or some browser extensions can cause this.
Easy fix: Add   [*].disqus.com   to your software's white list. Tada! Happy comments time again.

Did you know? You can now get daily or weekly email notifications when humans reply to your comments.







Final Fantasy

10:00 PM on 09.17.2014
Final Fantasy Type-0 HD releasing in March 2015

Final Fantasy Type-0 HD is launching worldwide next March, Square Enix announced today. The remastered role-playing game will debut in North America on March 17, followed by releases in Japan on March 19 and Europe on March 20. The publisher also confirmed a downloadable demo of Final Fantasy XV will come included with the package.more



8:30 PM on 09.17.2014
Final Fantasy XV TGS 2014 Trailer is pretty sharp

TGS 2014 is already off to a big start with the release of a brand new trailer for Final Fantasy XV. Much to the disappointment of many, it was absent from this year's E3 and gamescom shows, but the nearly three-minute tra...more



8:00 AM on 09.17.2014
Report: Final Fantasy XV will get a demo in 2015 packed-in with Type-0 HD

Final Fantasy XV may be getting a demo next year. Game Informer unleashed some info with a March 17 release date for Final Fantasy Type-0 HD, which had another tidbit embedded in it -- anyone who buys Type-O HD will...more



View all Final Fantasy






Back to Top




All content is yours to recycle through our Creative Commons License permitting non-commercial sharing requiring attribution. Our communities are obsessed with videoGames, movies, anime, and toys.

Living the dream since March 16, 2006

Advertising on destructoid is available: Please contact them to learn more