Quantcast
Steaming turd tossing in the Crystal Bearers ESRB-nounced - Destructoid

DestructoidJapanatorTomopopFlixist



Steaming turd tossing in the Crystal Bearers ESRB-nounced


8:00 PM on 10.10.2009





Everything may seem serene in the above video, but Final Fantasy Crystal Chronicles: The Crystal Bearers promises to be quite "nasty". According to the ESRB, The Crystal Bearers will include "damn", "hell", "bikinis that expose deep cleavage", "telekinetic powers to throw people off cliffs", "a goblin samurai holding a sake-shaped bottle (who) appears to be drunk", "steaming manure", "You were peeping?!" and "How icky of you to watch girls changing!"

Any game that takes the premise of Hancock, puts it in the Final Fantasy Crystal Chronicles universe, then releases itself on f*cking Kwanzaa has my utmost respect. Add skeletons on motorcycles, break-dance fighting, and now psychic turd flinging, and you have something unlike any other game out there. Even if The Crystal Bearers completely sucks, I'll still want it for the novelty alone.

Still not convinced? Then hit the jump to see a group of levitating moogles get their collective-crotch grabbed. 

Kwanzaa can't come soon enough...

[via Siliconera






Comments not appearing? Anti-virus apps like Avast or some browser extensions can cause this.
Easy fix: Add   [*].disqus.com   to your software's white list. Tada! Happy comments time again.

Did you know? You can now get daily or weekly email notifications when humans reply to your comments.








Win your choice of console from Destructoid! in Destructoid's Hangs on LockerDome

Final Fantasy

8:30 PM on 08.20.2014
Final Fantasy Explorers gets a concrete release date and more new job info

There's finally been a release date hammered out for Final Fantasy Explorers in Japan, and it's headed for a 3DS nowhere near you (unless you live in Japan) this December 18. There's also a savory bit of new information surro...more



9:00 AM on 08.20.2014
Final Fantasy XIV: A Realm Reborn is having another free period this month

In addition to its 14-day free trial campaign, Final Fantasy XIV is hosting a one-year anniversary login period. From August 22 at 11:00 GMT to September 1 11:00 GMT, players who have previously purchased the game and do...more



9:00 AM on 08.19.2014
Final Fantasy XIV patch 2.35 allows you to change your Chocobo's color, adds more content

Patch 2.35 has hit Final Fantasy XIV: A Realm Reborn, and in addition to adding some new content and questlines, it also tweaks a few things. Some of the major changes include the addition of Ixali beast tribe quests, al...more



View all Final Fantasy






Back to Top




All content is yours to recycle through our Creative Commons License permitting non-commercial sharing requiring attribution. Our communities are obsessed with videoGames, movies, anime, and toys.

Living the dream since March 16, 2006

Advertising on destructoid is available: Please contact them to learn more