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When Square Enix isn't busy whoring out its major videogame franchise to anyone who'll listen, it can be found in a street corner bar, a glass of merlot in hand, looking down on all and sundry behind gilded spectacles, for it is a wine drinker. Wine drinkers are better than everyone else, you see, and Squeenix is set to prove it with a new -- I suppose "game" -- How to begin with Wine DS. 

With a title that looks like it's trying to encourage children to put a first foot on their glorious path toward alcoholism, Square Enix is helping all players begin with wine by including a bottle of the stuff with the game -- provided by partner Mercian. The software itself will teach budding wine fans all about the noble drink, with a range of tests and lists. Sounds thrilling, doesn't it?

Don't worry, I'm sure they found a way to smuggle Sephiroth into it somehow. Maybe he has a vineyard or something.

[Thanks Jeremy] 


Continue: More Square Enix stories





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13 comments | showing # 1 to 13

trasparenza's Avatar - Comment posted on 11/06/2007 04:19
trasparenza
woohoo! Dylan :D you just went up +1 infinity in my book
ajaxender's Avatar - Comment posted on 11/06/2007 04:51
ajaxender
dylan moran! f yeah! Ah hes so awesome doing stand up.
Kif 's Avatar - Comment posted on 11/06/2007 05:19
Kif
Dylan Moran, nice. Gotta love how dry and brutally honest he can be.
wardrox's Avatar - Comment posted on 11/06/2007 06:16
wardrox
I actually want this "game". It sounds so cool!

They need to make a coffee one too though.
nademagnet's Avatar - Comment posted on 11/06/2007 06:46
nademagnet
I want one that calculates the beer goggle effect.
Elrando's Avatar - Comment posted on 11/06/2007 06:50
Elrando
"What do you want for dinner?"
"Tiramisu fried in sugar!"

Everyone needs to see Dylan Moran.
Phist's Avatar - Comment posted on 11/06/2007 07:05
Phist
Care for a glass of Chardonnay, Sir Sterling? I want this, too. Can't help being a wine fag.

Who the fuck is Dylan Moran? He's damn funny.
sbshootme's Avatar - Comment posted on 11/06/2007 07:09
sbshootme
I loved Black Books, I had no Idea he does stand up comedy.
MaxVest's Avatar - Comment posted on 11/06/2007 08:00
MaxVest
Also keep an eye out for How To Begin with American Beer DS, which comes with a six-pack of MGD, a funnel, and a length of plastic tubing.
SourGr8pes's Avatar - Comment posted on 11/06/2007 08:11
SourGr8pes
My favorite vintage is Apple Boones in a paper bag.
Jim Sterling's Avatar - Comment posted on 11/06/2007 08:49
Jim Sterling
sbshootme: Look for a show called Monster. That's where the clip's from and it's a great show.
king3vbo's Avatar - Comment posted on 11/06/2007 10:14
king3vbo
sweeeeet
Dexter345's Avatar - Comment posted on 11/06/2007 15:13
Dexter345
I've seriously always wished I were a wine connoisseur, but I'm too poor to be one. Will this game help me? Is it even coming out in the US?
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