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Square-Enix announces Destiny's Child game for mobile phones ... wait, what? photo

Remember the whole Y2K doomsday scare, when your neighbor spent his entire nest egg building that bomb shelter in his basement, stocked with a 10-year supply of Spaghetti-Os and Urnge Drank? Yeah, you might want to go knock on his door about now, because that whole apocalypse thing might be right around the corner. Either that, or we've all entered the Twilight Zone. Submitted for your approval:

Square Enix, Inc. the publisher of Square Enix™ interactive products in North America, Music World and SONY BMG MUSIC ENTERTAINMENT today announced that Destiny’s Child Groove is now available on the AT&T Wireless Network. The title will be the first mobile dance video game featuring the popular R&B songs of multiple Grammy-winning female group Destiny’s Child.

Let's see, it's not Friday, April Fool's was months ago, so that can only mean this is ... real? Apparently it's a DDR-style rhythm game, in which players match button presses with arrows displayed on the screen while Beyonce and her pals cheer them on. Songs featured in the game include such timeless masterpieces as Bug A Boo, Say My Name, and the always classic Survivor. Check out the press release after the jump. Until then, someone hold me, I'm scared.

[Big ups to Bfeld13 for this little nugget of horror] 

 

 
Los Angeles and New York (June 11, 2007)
 
Square Enix, Inc. the publisher of Square Enix™ interactive products in North America, Music World and SONY BMG MUSIC ENTERTAINMENT today announced that Destiny’s Child Groove is now available on the AT&T Wireless Network. The title will be the first mobile dance video game featuring the popular R&B songs of multiple Grammy-winning female group Destiny’s Child.

 
Destiny’s Child Groove is a competitive mobile dance game that will feature photos of vocalists Beyoncé Knowles, Kelly Rowland and Michelle Williams, and four songs from the group’s “#1s” album, including Survivor, Bug A Boo, Say My Name and Lose My Breath. Players “audition” to become a backup singer for the band in the game by following prompts along to the rhythms. The arrows are synchronized to the general rhythm or beat of a chosen song, and success depends on the player’s skill in timing and positioning the directions accordingly. Gameplay is interspersed with images of the band members who cheer on contestants as they compete.

 
Destiny’s Child Groove has great graphics, you can take it with you wherever you go, and I love that I get to encourage players as they get better and better at the game,” commented Michelle Williams of Destiny’s Child. “We’re always thrilled to have a new way to connect with our fans, and this game is a wonderful way to do exactly that.”

 
“Developing a truly unique game like Destiny’s Child Groove has been a new and exciting experience for us,” said John Yamamoto, president and chief executive officer of Square Enix, Inc. “We feel this title will expand our presence in the casual gaming market and are excited to have a highly regarded carrier like AT&T and such great talent taking the journey with us.”
I'm going out to buy more Urnge Drank and concrete mix. Who's coming with? 

Continue: More WHAAAAAAT? stories





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37 comments | showing # 1 to 37

NbsAlex's Avatar
NbsAlex at 06/17/2007 15:50
right behind you. ;P
Joe Burling's Avatar
Joe Burling at 06/17/2007 15:56
Sounds like Boom Boom Rockets... but with Destiny's Child. Is there a hot coffee mod?
Im OK's Avatar
Im OK at 06/17/2007 16:03
What.
atheistium's Avatar
atheistium at 06/17/2007 16:03
oh god.
GENACON's Avatar
GENACON at 06/17/2007 16:04
If i see someone dancing while playing this at the train station... Someone is getting pushed.
Rainbowblack's Avatar
Rainbowblack at 06/17/2007 16:08
old news is ooooooooooold
Topher Cantler's Avatar
Topher Cantler at 06/17/2007 16:14
It was announced a while ago, but now it's actually been unleashed on humanity. Smartypants.
fearian's Avatar
fearian at 06/17/2007 16:19
Squeenix seem intent on establishing themselves as pioneers of mobile gaming.
soadsam's Avatar
soadsam at 06/17/2007 16:20
hopefully it wont take to long for us people without a phone to get a console port.
Reeper's Avatar
Reeper at 06/17/2007 16:25
i'm so psyched. cannot wait.
Topher Cantler's Avatar
Topher Cantler at 06/17/2007 16:26
LOL@soadsam
Detry's Avatar
Detry at 06/17/2007 16:27
I gots my peenor in one hand and my cell phone in the other.
scottoid's Avatar
scottoid at 06/17/2007 16:34
sweet baby jesus...who at square made this idea...imagine that brain storming session.
"okay...okay...we can do another final fantasy phone game?"
"no...they would expect that one, if we want to take over the world....we need just more than final fantasy...so what"
"HEY I GOT IT!!! we can prey the americans?...how about another ones of those horrid music, dancey frickin games?"
"guys....Destinys Child...they can do it, why dont we make them "groove" and put it on a phone. "
"YES....just a little more, then the world is ours.."

or something like that, cuz we all know that all these final fantasy games coming out is the heralding of the end of life as we know it and this destinys chillen game is just another nail in the coffin.
Magesx's Avatar
Magesx at 06/17/2007 16:41
All my friends are going to be so jealous when they see me next. >:D
Justice's Avatar
Justice at 06/17/2007 16:44
They dont even make music anymore!
Detry's Avatar
Detry at 06/17/2007 16:54
Justice. They should just delete that other user so you could have your name back. :D
Rainbowblack's Avatar
Rainbowblack at 06/17/2007 16:55
Okay whoever is responsible for that Beyonce/Yuna photoshop is a fucking genius.
Rainbowblack's Avatar
Rainbowblack at 06/17/2007 16:55
upon further inspection...

is that beyonces nipple?
Topher Cantler's Avatar
Topher Cantler at 06/17/2007 16:57
That would be me, sir. Thank you.
Rainbowblack's Avatar
Rainbowblack at 06/17/2007 17:00
that is SO a nipple

Detry's Avatar
Detry at 06/17/2007 17:23
Joe Burling's Avatar
Joe Burling at 06/17/2007 17:25
Nipple goodness!!!
topgeargorilla's Avatar
topgeargorilla at 06/17/2007 17:27
will there be bootylicious?
MaxVest's Avatar
MaxVest at 06/17/2007 17:31
"The title will be the first mobile dance video game featuring the popular R&B songs of multiple Grammy-winning female group Destiny’s Child"...

Oh god... there may be others??
Nick Chester's Avatar
Nick Chester at 06/17/2007 17:44
I have this! It's so awesome!
Topher Cantler's Avatar
Topher Cantler at 06/17/2007 18:04
Dude, if that's a nipple, I feel terrible for Jay-Z.
michiyoyoshiku's Avatar
michiyoyoshiku at 06/17/2007 18:25
Square Enix: SUCKY SUCKY Five Dolla?
Dyson's Avatar
Dyson at 06/17/2007 18:28
DRANK!!
Zanch's Avatar
Zanch at 06/17/2007 19:41
Square Enix...you fail.
Xzyliac's Avatar
Xzyliac at 06/17/2007 20:16
Someone save the children!
Jim Sterling's Avatar
Jim Sterling at 06/17/2007 20:18
You are not ready for Square-Enix's jelly.
allisonaxe's Avatar
allisonaxe at 06/17/2007 22:37
well, remember, everyone thought they were on crack when they announced they were making a disney rpg, and that turned out pretty well----ok, ok, i can't possibly see how anything with destiny's child attached to it can ever be good, even if squeenix is making it. i'm sorry, but i'm from houston, and since those no-talented hobags are from here, and all they ever play on the radio is frickin' beyonce "no-talent lets play the same few chords over and over while mumbling unintelligible lyrics before shouting out the refrain, which just so happens to be the name of the song" Knowles, and i hate her, i hate her band, i hate her father, and i think whoever at squeenix came up with this crap deserves to be gunpei'd for it. (after gunpei yokoi left nintendo for his miserable failure, he was hit by a car. i'm still not convinced that it wasn't a yakuza revenge hit called in by yamaguchi. and yes, i'm calling for it to happen again.)
PockyBum522's Avatar
PockyBum522 at 06/17/2007 23:19
Look I drink...

And apparently SO DOES SQUARE!

Honestly, what I wouldn't give for a stepmania phone port. Okay, okay, so it doesn't rate that high up on the list of life's necessities...But something with a little selection please? Not one band, that gets old. Fast.
Rogue Trooper's Avatar
Rogue Trooper at 06/17/2007 23:38
Oh for crying out loud! Someone at Square Enix must be three fries short of a happy meal.
Mxyzptlk's Avatar
Mxyzptlk at 06/18/2007 00:13
Does Destiny’s Child even exist anymore?
Rainbowblack's Avatar
Rainbowblack at 06/18/2007 04:07
No, MXY they don't.

they named their last album "Destiny Fulfilled" for a reason. Not that S-E took any notice
Founder's Avatar
Founder at 06/19/2007 23:06
Uhhhh.... this oddly doesn't surprise me.
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