Those of you who have been reading Destructoid for the past year will know of my struggle with Southpeak and its insistence upon releasing nothing but X-Blades screenshots wihile giving me little else to go on. In fact, earlier today I lamented about how my pleas for a cease-fire were ignored.
Now Southpeak is sending them to me personally, followed by a deluge of smiley faces, heart emoticons and LOLs. This has gone beyond.
This afternoon I got an IM from Aubrey, the product manager of X-Blades, who started sending me fresh game images via instant messenger, just to torment me. Nick Chester also informs me he's heard promises of personally delivered screens as well.
Southpeak sent me a link to a page of over 50 X-Blades images. This publisher is a Xenomorph. You cannot reason with it. You cannot hope to stop it. I have tried begging, pleading, even threatening, and the screenshots won't ever stop. I'm afraid to close my eyes. I'm afraid to open them. I have taken up drink, drugs and prostitutes as a way of dealing with this stress, but there is no dealing. There is only death in my future. That is my only escape.
I just want to stop looking at pictures of a videogame girl's arse!
Aubrey: HELLO JIM
Aubrey: its your friend aubrey from southpeak
Jim: Good afternoon. And good timing, just finished recording
Aubrey: i have a really important thing for you to see my dear
Aubrey: click i swear this is not a virus
Jim: GAH!
Aubrey: LOL
Aubrey: LOLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL
Aubrey: :-D
Aubrey: <3
Jim: You people!
Aubrey: <3<3<3<3<3<3
LAUNCH GALLERY (57 IMAGES)
Jim Sterling serves as reviews editor for Destructoid.com, head of the Podtoid podcast, and produces a number of news stories, original features, one-of-a-kind videos. With his passionate argumentative style, controversial opinions, harsh delivery, and dedication to brutal honesty Sterling is a name that you can't help but recognize.
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Contest:
6:00 PM on 01.28.2009 | 
I'll be disappointed if this game is terrible.
I'm so sorry jim! I didn't know this would happen!
Speaking of, I have a copy of final fantasy 9 in NTSC region type if you're interested. I remember you saying something about wanting a copy? I won't charge Ebay prices like Ebay does; just shipping.
At this rate, we won't even need to play the game...we can print them out and make X-blades: The Flipbook!
also, Jim, hang on man, just hang on.
but they will return WITH X-BLADES PART 2.
but they will return WITH X-BLADES PART 2.
Also you have to give it a good review now.
Carry on, wayward sons!
This is some serious funny stuff. However, I have never been as ready to see a game come out as X-Blades, just so I can stop reading about it. I couldn't be less interested in this.
X-Blades - Dropping a major deuce in your console of choice, February 10th, 2009.
it has to be a bottle of 151