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Home Utterly pathetic updates

Sony tells reviewers HOW to review Lair ... this just gets better

3:06 PM on 09.07.2007, Jim Sterling 76 comments

Sony tells reviewers HOW to review Lair ... this just gets better photo
     Utterly pathetic

Okay, I'm sorry, I know I keep picking on Julian Eggebrecht and Factor 5, but they are truly, truly asking for it. Not content to let this rest and intent on reminding us that Lair got some bad reviews, Sony has now sent out special reviewer's guides to tell people how they should actually do their jobs when it comes to Factor 5's opus. IGN received a copy full of handy information, pictures and tips on how to actually play the game. Apparently, this game now needs an extensive guide to be mailed to the player in order for it to be enjoyed. This speaks highly of Lair ... how, exactly?

While fact sheets are not uncommon with review copies of games, IGN for one can't remember ever having such a lavish package sent post-review, with more condescending words from Julian Eggebrecht to seal the deal. "Open your mind and hands for something very different," the Factor 5 President implores reviewers, with a level of obsessive loyalty that is now bordering on the worrying. 

Guys, suck it up -- your game got some bad reviews. It got some good ones too. Stop being so defensive and sensitive, because your continued efforts to dress this up are only making you look worse and worse. Lair was a joke to begin with, now it's becoming iconic for all the wrong reasons. I personally thought you guys were adamant that the customers were more important than the reviewers. Your zealousy on this matter says otherwise.


Next page: More Sony stories




bhive01's Avatar
bhive01 at 09/07/2007 15:08
You have comment 0. You WIN teh HALOZ!

-D- tells me lair is bad. And, the motion controls are shit. I trust -D-. Now with wings.
Dexter345's Avatar
Dexter345 at 09/07/2007 15:09
Maybe Factor 5 should just write their own review, since nobody else seems capable of grasping the subtle elegance of Lair.
lvl54spacemonkey's Avatar
lvl54spacemonkey at 09/07/2007 15:10
oh man. What's next? sony taking reviewers to strip clubs and getting them doped up on LSD in exchange for review scores?


Wait, that still happens.
Justin Villasenor's Avatar
Justin Villasenor at 09/07/2007 15:12
These guys just don't know when to stop.
SnakeDude4Life's Avatar
SnakeDude4Life at 09/07/2007 15:12
Wow.

Move on Factor 5, move on.
mispelt's Avatar
mispelt at 09/07/2007 15:16
Jim, I'm not sure if that was your best work as a writer.

What I'm gonna need you to do is come up with about a 500-word essay detailing all the reasons I may not have liked it and all the reasons it might not have turned out being all you thought it would be.

Then I need you to send me some instructions on how I am to get the most out of your "universally panned piece of garbage" (IGN's words, not mine).

k? thxbai.
galagabug 's Avatar
galagabug at 09/07/2007 15:17
did you guys see the last page of this release on 'how to score lair' when reviewing?

if grading on a scale of 1-5, lair should recieve no lower than 4.
if grading on a scale of 1-10, lair should recieve no later than 8.

i found that kinda odd.
DeusPayne's Avatar
DeusPayne at 09/07/2007 15:17
I GOT it. Their plan is to create so many CRAZY and ridiculous claims that people start thinking "wow... what could posses them to be defending this thing so much. Maybe I'll buy it"

Of course, they could have done without making themselves look retarded in the process, but to each his own.
kawitchate's Avatar
kawitchate at 09/07/2007 15:20
ghosts and now a guide on how to play for reviewers? the game is FAR from being an atrocity (i actually kinda like it), but Factor 5 and Sony need to shut the hell up and just let the bad reviews roll in.

just let it go guys.
Niero's Avatar
Niero at 09/07/2007 15:21
Oh lord.

How can they say that when Wii games are so innocuously accepted? We know it's different. Most people don't like it. Suck it up, cupcake.

I stole Nick Brutal's copy for the weekend and I didn't think it was that bad, but it's not terrific.
Joe Burling's Avatar
Joe Burling at 09/07/2007 15:22
I thought Lair was better than BioShock
Buddha's Avatar
Buddha at 09/07/2007 15:22
wow i was rwally hoping for this game to be gold but it seem sthat it isnt and sony is making it worse for themselves

shame
shame on you sony
rabidkeebler's Avatar
rabidkeebler at 09/07/2007 15:26
Dear Factor 5 guys:

Look, it is all fine and well that you are trying to stick up for your game, but your agruement doesn't make much sense. If you are sending out this "fact sheet" to the reviewers, then shouldn't it have been in the instruction manual? I mean it looks as if the reviewers aren't the only ones having a problem.

Sincerely Yours


Rabidkeebler.
Joe Burling's Avatar
Joe Burling at 09/07/2007 15:26
jk ;)
bhive01's Avatar
bhive01 at 09/07/2007 15:26
You're just reaching Joe. It was over 9000 time better than Bioshock.

BioStorm on the other hand. That game rocked.
Tull's Avatar
Tull at 09/07/2007 15:27
Im surprised no one's found a way for people to email the Factor 5 guys about their thoughts on their issues with the bad reviews. Maybe then they'll realize it's not just the reviewers giving it thumbs down.
CronosBlade's Avatar
CronosBlade at 09/07/2007 15:28
AgentMOO wins the thread.
Joe Burling's Avatar
Joe Burling at 09/07/2007 15:28
I vote that Rabidkeebler gets an avatar. I suggest this...

Joe Burling's Avatar
Joe Burling at 09/07/2007 15:30
@bhive
BioStorm on the other hand. That game rocked.
I agree

@CronosBlade
AgentMOO wins the thread.
I agree
Buddha's Avatar
Buddha at 09/07/2007 15:30
^^^ yes definitly should be his avatar
sushi111's Avatar
sushi111 at 09/07/2007 15:30
What.
A
Bunch.
of
Pussies.
blehman's Avatar
blehman at 09/07/2007 15:31
@AgentMOO

I lol'd at ur comment.

@Factor5

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH! Just stop it already, I can't breath from laughing at you.
Buster's Avatar
Buster at 09/07/2007 15:31
at least they got a 10 from sony defense force
sushi111's Avatar
sushi111 at 09/07/2007 15:34
What.
A
Bunch.
of
Pussies.
ArrestedDeveloper's Avatar
ArrestedDeveloper at 09/07/2007 15:37
I wouldn't give to much cred to Lair's good reviews so far, I did some digging and found some interesting patterns with the people that gave it a great review.
MaximusPaynicus's Avatar
MaximusPaynicus at 09/07/2007 15:43
It saddens me that this is the same studio that developed four of my favorite games of all time with the Rogue Squadron games. (That includes "Battle for Naboo)
Trev's Avatar
Trev at 09/07/2007 15:45
I agree with kawitchate and Niero. It's not as bad as the reviews make it sound. Worse games have gotten less flak. Average in a painful way? Very yes. Not up to the hype? definitely. The problems have been reiterated at length by people.

At this point it's not going to be remembered as a game that didn't live up to the hype, but as a game that Factor 5 whined about until no one gave a shit. I liked the damn thing and even I think they need to accept that they talked it up and didn't deliver.
Joe Burling's Avatar
Joe Burling at 09/07/2007 15:47
@Jim
Your zealousy on this matter says otherwise.
I agree

@Tull
Maybe then they'll realize it's not just the reviewers giving it thumbs down.
I agree

@Buddha
shame on you sony
I agree

@Niero
I stole Nick Brutal's copy for the weekend
I agree

@AgentMoo
It sounds like Sony wants you to try dudes or something...
I agree

@DeusPayne
to each his own
I agree

@galagabug
i found that kinda odd
I agree

@Sharpless
suck
I agree

@Neonie
It is gold.
I agree

@Dexter345
capable of grasping
I agree

@mispelt
I may not have liked it
I agree

@GoldenDonut
These guys just don't know when to stop.
I agree

@lvl54SpaceMonkey
taking reviewers to strip clubs and getting them doped up on LSD in exchange for review scores?
I agree
Holzmiento's Avatar
Holzmiento at 09/07/2007 15:48
I think Lair is better than Bioshock (blood slowly dripping from ear).
Joe Burling's Avatar
Joe Burling at 09/07/2007 15:52
I haven't played it but I don't have a PS3. I did want to play it but then I saw the ratings it was getting and now I don't want to play it so much, but I'm still curious enough to rent it when I do get a PS3... assuming that day isn't so far away that I forget all about it.
SourGr8pes's Avatar
SourGr8pes at 09/07/2007 15:53
"Dearest magazine or blog reviewer;

On future endeavors with our products, please rank them no lower than an 80% of the total score. Remember that around the world, people may have grown up without a family, or were not allowed to play with toys as a child, or were orphaned by civil wars. Think about the disadvantaged children the next time you want to press a negative review of our product. Always remember, fair reviewer: A negative review, is a review for terrorism and a lack of sensitivity towards Darfur.

Sincerely,
Your friends at Factor 5"
SnakeDude4Life's Avatar
SnakeDude4Life at 09/07/2007 15:55
I played it a friends house.

The controls and the lock-on were bad.I took out that sucker and in Fall of Man.

The end.
blehman's Avatar
blehman at 09/07/2007 15:59
@ sourg8pes: A negative review, is a review for terrorism and a lack of sensitivity towards Darfur.

Best line ever.
Joe Burling's Avatar
Joe Burling at 09/07/2007 16:06
Haha. I do want to see it, SuMizzle! This game has peaked my full interest with all the talk surrounding it. I want to play it with my own two hands. Can Bob come, too?
Radius Zero's Avatar
Radius Zero at 09/07/2007 16:13
The only thing they ever had going for them was Star Wars.
Coonskin05's Avatar
Coonskin05 at 09/07/2007 16:20
I'm pretty sure the review guide went something like this


"Dear reviewers,


Would you kindly give Lair a better score?


Thank you."
Download-This's Avatar
Download-This at 09/07/2007 16:25
Perhaps this is an attempt to work those bad reviews. I'm at least curious as to how badly this game really sucks.
Ryan 2502's Avatar
Ryan 2502 at 09/07/2007 16:49
Nah Jim, go right ahead with these stories, they are entertaining and I think Factor 5 needs to learn their lesson here.
Jim Sterling's Avatar
Jim Sterling at 09/07/2007 16:50
It's not about who played it, or how bad/good the game is. It's about Factor 5 being utter pussies over it.
Ryan 2502's Avatar
Ryan 2502 at 09/07/2007 16:54
I haven't played it myself. I'm sure it's a perfectly average. But I agree that F5 have really, really screwed up with their attitude.

Man, back when I was a kid and I played Rouge Squad... these guys were like heroes to me, and when RS2 came out I was so happy, I loved those games quite a bit.

So sad to see a (formerly) much loved developer throw it all away with that attitude.
Deus's Avatar
Deus at 09/07/2007 17:02
I'm wondering if this will turn into another Sony PR disaster. They've been doing so well of late, it's sad to see this kind of idiocy now. I'm just waiting for the incredible new website (not affiliated with Sony or Factor 5) alliwantforchristmasislair.com to come online (steal the domain now!).
Professor Pew's Avatar
Professor Pew at 09/07/2007 17:11
Maybe it will play like a dream on Eggebrecht's one universal console :P
Churchhills Dog's Avatar
Churchhills Dog at 09/07/2007 17:14
it's obvious that they sunk an immense amount of cash in Lair and someone at Sony PR is attempting to salvage their careers
Fading Star's Avatar
Fading Star at 09/07/2007 17:22
Thanks for the article, Jim. They could have started production on a new game with the time that they have wasted with their effort to talk to the reviewers.
Fading Star's Avatar
Fading Star at 09/07/2007 17:23
Thanks for the article, Jim. They could have started production on a new game with the time that they have wasted with their effort to talk to the reviewers.
Deathsaw's Avatar
Deathsaw at 09/07/2007 17:30
That's why I HATE PS3. It truly says "There will be good games out soon.....soon.....and you will review them this certain way. The 6-axis is a failed gimmick. Just let it die Sony. Go back to pushing Blueray players and crappy TV's.
Justice's Avatar
Justice at 09/07/2007 17:38
SOS!

Silly Old Sony!
UglyDuck's Avatar
UglyDuck at 09/07/2007 17:51
I get the feeling you're injecting a lot of weight into something which is, really, quite mundane. They sent them a list of tips on how to play the game. It also happened to be quite elaborate and jazzed up to make it look like they put the effort in.

I don't see any of this "please love us, our game wasn't shit, YOU'RE REVIEWING IT WRONG, here let me show you" that you're talking about.

And something else. Maybe there is a certain way to review a game, and a certain way to play it. I wouldn't negatively review a game like Gears for not having deep enough puzzles or Counter Strike for not providing variety... You enjoy a game for certain reasons, not for every reason under the sun. Of course, that wouldn't justify a developer telling someone how to review a game, but I don't think they're doing that anyway.

Whatever, I'm not going to play this game for years, anyway.
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