Remember the Sonic 4 leaks we talked about this weekend, where I basically stated that the majority of Sonic fans are f*cking idiots. Oh what joy it is, then, to discover that the Sonic fanbase is now pulling itself apart at the seams over the one game they've been waiting years for. The amount of drama concerning Sonic 4 has become so hilarious and amazing, we simply have to share it with you.
Ground zero appears to be leading fan site Sonic Retro, where the leaks and the fans RAGING over said leaks got so intense the site's leader went insane. Banning all talk of Sonic 4, "Scarred Sun" wrote one of the most beautiful streams of hatred I've ever seen.
"You guys have really pushed me too f*cking far this time," she writes. "In the past 48 hours, I've had to deal with Sonic 4 leaks, Sega demanding all sorts of crap from me, people posting like f*cktards over some goddamn ten seconds of video, and have been acting like fucking morons in every possible thread. Maybe it'd be something if this has only been going on for a few days. IT'S BEEN GOING ON FOR MONTHS ... You're f*cking circlejerking and nerdraging over a shitty downloadable game that even Sonic Team is not participating in. What the f*ck is wrong with you guys?
"Sonic 4 is tearing us apart, guys, and I'm not gonna stand for it anymore."
You read that right, folks. Sonic 4 is tearing the fanbase apart. This is a beautiful companion piece to my editorial on how obsessive fans deny themselves any pleasure and seek only to complain about their favorite things. I don't want to imply that Sonic Retro is the only place where this is happening. It's basically the entire Sonic fanbase that's lost its mind, and Retro just happened to encapsulate it perfectly. This, apparently, is what a fan of something does. Hit the jump for the full, unedited rant. It's quite something!
[Update: Story just got weirder! Have been informed that the rant was mostly tongue-in-cheek, but then it turned serious. The Sonic 4 discussion was genuinely banned thanks to the community arguing and bile, but Scarred Sun herself is a little more calm about it. So, it started as a joke rooted in something serious, then became something serious rooted in a joke. Sonic fans, gotta love 'em!]
God dammit.
You guys have really pushed me too fucking far this time. In the past 48 hours, I've had to deal with Sonic 4 leaks, Sega demanding all sorts of crap from me, people posting like fucktards over some goddamn ten seconds of video, and have been acting like fucking morons in every possible thread. Maybe it'd be something if this has only been going on for a few days.
IT'S BEEN GOING ON FOR MONTHS. I hold two fucking Shark Weeks—which we have NEVER had to do before now—and you are still all acting like fucking morons over this one piece of shit game. You're fucking circlejerking and nerdraging over a shitty downloadable game that even Sonic Team is not participating in. What the fuck is wrong with you guys? What the fuck happened to the community that I loved?
It's like you've all become braindead zombies overnight and are actively going after what few of us who aren't running in lizardbrain mode. And it's making my skull hurt (though luckily there has been no anal bleeding yet.)
I can't fucking stand this anymore. It's so goddamn depressing to come home every fucking night to seven new pages of HURR THIS SUCKS and HEY LOOK LET'S POST A PICTURE OF MY EGO and other crap I DO NOT GIVE A SHIT ABOUT.
Seriously, there is no shittier, fur-fuck, whiny fanbase than this one. It's sad that we're considered the "best" of the Sonic fandom and yet this place can collapse into a cesspool of fail and AIDS over OH NO THE EYELIDS ARE WRONG THE EYELIDS ARE WRONG YOU GUYS What the fuck? What's with the green eye hate? I have green eyes, motherfuckers. Why do you have to get stick crammed up your ass over fucking iris colour?
Sonic 4 is tearing us apart, guys, and I'm not gonna stand for it anymore.
Therefore, this site is getting some goddamn chemotherapy to get the faggotry caused by this game. And it starts with removing Sonic.
I didn't want to do this. I honestly didn't. We've built ten years on this foundation of all being Sonic fans together working towards a great goal of awesome. But this isn't awesome anymore. It's just fuckbeans. In fact, this fucks up a lot of plans we had to even make something funny for April Fool's. So thanks a lot, fuckfaces.
As a result of this removal, we have set up a parallel site called segaretro.org. It's essentially Sonic Retro without the Sonic. Given this abrupt transition, we will rolling it out over the next day to help ensure the transition.
We have removed the General Sonic Discussion forum in hopes of grabbing the few threads left worth saving and throwing them into the archive. Beyond that, it's gone.
For those of you who follow our Twitter, we encourage you to sign up for the Sega Retro Twitter. We will retweet all tweets to @sonicretro tomorrow, but can't promise anything beyond that.
So good going, fucktards. You don't shit on Sonic. You shit in a toilet.
Contest:
2:00 PM on 04.05.2010
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If nobody can play nice, mommy takes the fucking toys the fuck away from the spoiled little bratshits.
As an admin of two different sites, well done, indeed. You deserve a medal.
As for the pricks who brought this about, in the immortal words of Stephen Colbert, "Fuck 'em!"
I should't be laughing, but damn, this is SAD.
Although it is somewhat old news. Refer to SonicRetro's front page on more words from Scarred Sun.
YER TEEARING ME APAIRT, SONEEK!
SEGA, YOU AH TEARING ME APAHT!
And to you Scarred Sun, I am amazed by how you have put up with this crap so far.
One of the more impressive rants I've heard, but it sounds like the community over there desperately needed someone to smack some sense into them. That admin deserves a goddamn medal for having to deal with such a shitstorm.
"OH NO THE EYELIDS ARE WRONG THE EYELIDS ARE WRONG YOU GUYS What the fuck?" sums up my summary of the sonic fanbase fairly well.
seconded.
And I'm still laughing.
Round 1...FIGHT!
Oh, they're fighting for worst "fan"community. I thought I'd mention this. :F
I am a fan of Sonic, though I am not part of the wretched community that has cropped up during the past few years. As far as Sonic 4 goes, I think it looks neat. I like what I've seen so far and I think a lot of complaints stem from the leaked videos, which have clearly been played by a moron, or someone deliberately playing badly to troll the community.
I can't really speak for the game until I've played it myself. I guess that very concept is the biggest difference between me and these clowns.
Fucking classic, so basically they destroyed that site, and even the moderator had to put out a pure stream of hatred to tell them they are fucking nuts
This is gold, sonic fans are by far the most idiotic fans alive. And Jim I totally agree on what you said, what is it with gamers seeking themselves to deny themseleves pleasure from a game, especially one like this.
Just Gold, maybe im evil but seeing themselves pull eachother apart at such an ironic time, where the best sonic game in years could be upon us, but i smile everytime i see
ha.........
I'm still excited for this game. Now that I've seen all of it I know that it won't suck. Yay!
Regardless, what Scarred Sun said in her original rant was mostly true.
So, you are forgiven, for now. :D
Honestly, I can't see what to get so worked up over. Sonic is too slow. Sonic doesn't look right. Who cares? The problem isn't with Sonic; the problem is that his games are crap. The coolest most badass character is useless if he or she is plopped into a horrible buggy game. And amazingly, it seems like they finally got a potential working formula with the Sonic portion of Sonic Unleashed. Only God knows what flaws they're going to introduce to screw up the next 3D Sonic game.
So just screw the Sonic fan community. Such poor judgement in their own spoiling the short game for themselves and character in raging and ranting about games that don't actually exist yet proves that they are irrelevant.
And on a more serious note I thought it was just more people just bitching over what I thought was no big deal, but when it turned out to be serious, I'd be lying if I didn't say holy shit. Words can't describe how fucked up that is. Hell, I dare say its Deadpool levels of fucked up (and you gotta try damn hard to get that level of disturbed)