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Home The almighty dollar updates

Sonic perfects the art of selling out

11:10 PM on 04.21.2007, William Haley 27 comments

     The almighty dollar
It's one thing to spice up otherwise cookie-cutter games with popular icons, but making a golf game that looks like every other golf game except that you get Sonic as your caddy instead of some underprivileged inner city youth is like throwing salt on the wounds of gamers who grew up loving the inexplicably blue hedgehog back when his games were still, you know, good. It makes one wonder if since pushing out horribly broken sequels hasn't lined their pockets with gold, perhaps Sega has just given up completely.
 
Between this and the Olympics it seems as if Sonic will be appearing less and less in "real" games and instead becoming akin to that washed-up B horror movie actor who still attends all the conventions and milks every last fan for everything they're worth. They couldn't even program Sonic to look enthusiastic, so I think it's safe to say this game is dialing it in. From Mars. 
 
[Via Seganerds

Next page: More Sonic stories




vinnchan's Avatar
vinnchan at 04/21/2007 23:26
To be fair though, it's not like it's CALLED sonic golf. I consider this more like Mario being the Ref in punch out...

Because if we keep on taking it up the ass, one day gold will come out there.
wario67's Avatar
wario67 at 04/21/2007 23:45
Why is Sonic's picture in the Special shot thing?
He just stands there while the child does the shot.
Boris Lugosi's Avatar
Boris Lugosi at 04/22/2007 00:07
This just makes me really, really sad. Sonic needs to disappear. He can still go with dignity.
Mxyzptlk's Avatar
Mxyzptlk at 04/22/2007 00:09
Skateboards on a golf course? EXTREME!!!
Lord_Satorious's Avatar
Lord_Satorious at 04/22/2007 00:41
This is still a Sega product? OK, so who's Sonic selling out to then? He's in a golf game, something Mario's been doing for years. So Nintendo can use their franchises in completely new genres unrelated to their original respective genres, but Sega can't do the same? Whatever. The game itself doesn't look particularly interesting, maybe it would've been better if Sonic and the rest of his pals were they themselves doing the golfing. Does anyone else think Sonic would be better suited to a bowling game however?
Niero's Avatar
Niero at 04/22/2007 00:53
For some reason I read the title as "Sony perfects the art of selling out", didn't understand the writeup as a result, RE-READ the headline and still thought it said Sony, and then finally understood it by watching the video. Think I'm deeply biased or just traumatized?
Segasonicdude's Avatar
Segasonicdude at 04/22/2007 01:28
Gah.....*Shudders* ......NO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
amalgamut00's Avatar
amalgamut00 at 04/22/2007 01:41
Sonic needs to do these things to make money, he has to buy Amy nice things or she'll leave him for Shadow...
madfigs's Avatar
madfigs at 04/22/2007 01:53
Sega:

Rez 2. Make it happen and all is forgiven.
tazarthayoot's Avatar
tazarthayoot at 04/22/2007 02:11
Sonic Bowling sounds like it could actually work.

I think what we have here is a lame golf game that they threw the Sonic characters into just to move a few copies. This game would not have sold otherwise, just look at it. Skateboarding couldn't even save this pile.

It's just...god I sat here for 15 minutes trying to come up with something and it bored me so much my brain couldn't process my thoughts anymore.
Justice's Avatar
Justice at 04/22/2007 02:15
SPECERU SHOTTO!
Sharpless's Avatar
Sharpless at 04/22/2007 02:24
If they make a Sonic bowling game, and Sonic is the ball, where are you putting your fingers exactly? Bad idea.
Farktoid's Avatar
Farktoid at 04/22/2007 04:46
Satorius said it up top. If Mario can Golf, Sonic can too. If it's as fun and engaging as Mario Golf, then Sonic gets a gold star. If Sonic makes you wait a minute between shots to let the game load, he doesn't. End of story.
10BobMarleys's Avatar
10BobMarleys at 04/22/2007 04:56
Look, I Drink...... And i actually wanna play this game for some reason. Cos i drink? maybe.....
Kif 's Avatar
Kif at 04/22/2007 05:39
Sonic is appearing in less and less real games, eh. So he's turning into Mario?

brad drac's Avatar
brad drac at 04/22/2007 09:17
That is some of the worst character animation I've seen in a game since the ps1, inexcusable in a game as limited in movement as golf. Shame, because the cell shading is otherwise really quite nice. I also like the way sonic chases after the ball when it's hit, it's a nice touch. Still wouldn't touch the game with a 10 foot pole.
savagesaladin's Avatar
savagesaladin at 04/22/2007 14:05
Sonic took my gold cock ring....

But anyway, Sonic should be in Super Smash Bros Brawl. Anyone agree, disagree?
michiyoyoshiku's Avatar
michiyoyoshiku at 04/22/2007 14:16
and Nintendo doesn't Whore out Mario?

HUH HUH!

Keep the sonic hate to yourselves
B-Radicate's Avatar
B-Radicate at 04/22/2007 15:32
i have to agree that sega shouldn't get any crap for doing this. nintendo barely even makes real games any more. zelda is one of the few franchises where the characters haven't been prostituted out into every genre of gaming in existence (save the smash bros. series, i guess).

if sonic can help sell copies, so be it. but honestly... haven't his recent terrible games tainted his reputation to the point where less people will buy it? at least secret rings tried. shadow did not.
William Haley's Avatar
William Haley at 04/22/2007 17:42
This article is not about Nintendo or Mario, it's about Sega and Sonic. Sorry for the confusion.
Burnt Meatloaf's Avatar
Burnt Meatloaf at 04/22/2007 21:29
At least in Mario golf, Mario was a golfer.

Ironic that the fastest thing alive playes pawn to the slowest-paced game ever.
Iceciro's Avatar
Iceciro at 04/23/2007 03:09
Burnt hit it on the head, the difference is that Mario Golf is a golf game where you PLAY AS MARIO and his crew.

Here, sonic does NOTHING, he's your damn caddy. It'd be like if in Mario Kart, the characters were just in your pit crew.
kevinski's Avatar
kevinski at 04/23/2007 12:41
Here's hoping that you can bludgeon Sonic with a club at some point.
aliasL's Avatar
aliasL at 04/25/2007 12:40
Sonic Team do the world a favor... DIE! commit hara-kiri get shot by the LAPD i dont care im sick of this butchering of Sonic even I cant defend Sonic and the Secret rings!
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