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The problem with sex in videogames is that more often than not, it reinforces stereotypes about gamers. Despite all the claims of maturity, sex is still primarily presented in an exploitative manner meant to titillate the prepubescent boy within. I say 'boy' because games are still primarily marketed towards the male consumer (unless the pale skin of Kratos get you excited, I suppose).
Even when men are presented as objects of desire, the element of attraction is usually grounded in some aspect of the personality rather than physical appearance. Look at the perspective male romances in Mass Effect 2: Two of them are aliens and, depending on your tastes, not particularly attractive ones at that. Whether you find Jack or Tali attractive, it's hard to deny that their character designs have some degree of sex appeal.
RPGs are the one genre where the playing field should be equal. Players are able to choose their gender and have the opportunity to pursue a relationship with a team mate if they so desire. Unfortunately, these "relationships" are little more than stepping stones to the real goal of all the talking: sex.
Take Mass Effect. There's no challenge in successfully establishing a relationship with one of the three romantic choices. All you have to do is spam the paragon dialog options in the conversation, and once you've consummated the relationship, it's gone as far as it ever will.
The same is true of Mass Effect 2 where I inadvertently romanced the three female romance options just by being a nice guy. It's impossible to build a relationship based on friendship without defaulting to the neutral dialog options. By the end of the game, I had three crew mates whose only dialog dealt with having to choose a partner, even after I had already chosen to pursue Miranda. It's only when it comes to crew mates of the opposite sex that the player can pursue the paragon dialog tree without fear of romancing them (which is another problem entirely). Placing the emphasis of the romance on the sex means that the "relationship" has no meaning.
Interestingly, another Bioware venture, Dragon Age, takes a different approach to sex and relationships. Sex is not the end result of the relationship; it's just a part in the machine. In fact, sex in Dragon Age doesn't even have to go hand-in-hand with a relationship -- it can be a onetime thing. Most impressive is the fact that dialog trees don't suddenly stop after characters have sex -- they actually have more to say. Imagine that, two people actually talking about something after having sex. This may be a sign of the end times.
However, a problem for both games is the sex itself. Ever since the Mass Effect controversy that once again claimed videogames were "corrupting our youth," subsequent games have shied away from being "explicit." The sex scenes of Dragon Age and Mass Effect 2 have characters clothed to some extent while the player is treated to cheesy music and awkward fondling. How can we expect sex in videogames to be taken seriously by others when the developers themselves don't?
Developers in general need to back away from this idea that sex somehow automatically makes games "mature" (the same can be said about swearing in videogames). There's nothing wrong with including sex in videogames, but it needs to be handled in such a way that the game industry doesn't look as though it's ashamed.
Sex has a place in games, but it has to make sense within the context of what is happening. Relationships can be more than road maps to awkward sex, and to suggest otherwise demeans not only videogames, but the people playing them.
This promoted blog was written for our March Monthly Musing assignment, "Write something about sex." You too could get promoted if you write something about sex in videogames over on the Community Blogs.
Contest:
5:00 PM on 03.05.2010 | 
Dragon Age's HUGE selling tactic was to flaunt SEX AND VIOLENCE, like it was going to be a big deal. Like I've said many times before, at E3, the devs showed off Dragon Age, and made a huge deal of skipping the Morrigan love scene because it was "way too graphic to show in public".
I'm sure the news spread like wildfire, and everyone was curious to see if it would actually push the envelope. Suffice to say, it was incredibly creepy, and was essentially what a 10 year old's sex fantasy would look like.
As a general rule, I'm not for sex in games, because it's just not done right. Remember Grindhouse cinema, and some early 30s and 40s movies? The term for what went on there generally is "sexploitation" - it's a cheap way to sell your product, and really cheapens the value of it in my eyes. If a game can do sex realistically, there's no reason why it couldn't work out as well as it does in film.
well said, segnor periscope...cue the applause
Video games were at one point directed mainly towards little boys. Games have evolved into much more since then, however... Most mothers don't see it like that, they all still think video games are for kids... Its come that time where videogame developers are starting to explore sex in games. It is a recent thing after all(I am not including the Atari porn games, I mean real video games). So, videogame developers suck at it. They end up sucking at it even more because a bunch of angry moms are like, "WTF? This is wrong for children."
A lot of movies are wrong for children, same with a lot of books. But people have come to accept this, since its something meant for all ages. The world simply hasn't come to accept the fact, games are for all ages to. Different games are meant for different people. And because of that, Bioware chickened out on Mass Effect 2, they simply didn't want the trouble. Personally, I think they should have dealt with that trouble. The fact that they didn't is a shame. The last thing gamers need is to be controlled by angry, fat, single moms.
Also its a point that developers need to realize. Sex should not be the "end point" and more importantly it shouldn't automatically be assumed that you'll be boning just because you talk nicely to someone. If anything the characters in Mass Effect should be more hesitant to bone since you're the commanding officer (although that seems more taboo in ME1 with the Alliance than ME2 and... no one).
Anyway, nice write up.
I mean, for example, you could have sex with prostitutes, sell drugs to kids and kill entire cities in Fallout 2. You just COULD. It wasn't a game adverised as having these "major features", it was just a part of the game world. DA:O was constantly advertised like "we have violence! and sex! and Manson! We are so fucking brutal!" while they could just have all these things as a part of the living game world, not just a part of the game promotion
"Hey Sara. I know you've been spending a lot of time with Carl lately, but if you're interested in some actual sex, give me a call sometime."
I also agree that it's silly that you can choose 1 partner and others remain in that "limbo" state at the end of the game (if you let it get that far). I had this problem when I played the second time through. It's tough to have a non-romantic relationship with someone of a different sex. Oddly enough, now that I think about it maybe that's a fairly accurate reflection of real life relationships.
I also agree with Magnalon in that DA's main thing was that it was a game that was supposed to be genuinely mature. Sex and violence would not be capped by convention, but in the end I do think they chickened out for fear of losing sales (even though I'd argue even the bad press would be good for sales). It's tough to be too critical of Bioware though, as others have said, it's the main example we think of and maybe we have to give them some credit for being out there in front, subjected to criticism from us and those on the paranoid moral collapse panicky front.
(This is weird, two sex related threads at Destructoid in one day after the whole "you can say you're gay on LIVE now" thing. I feel like Loveline.)
Anyway, the part of why is it only the attractive people who get it on...uh, because no one wants to see ugly people doing it?
Really, especially as graphics keep improving so rapidly, I don't want to to watch the fat dumpy dude having motion captured well done (tech-wise) sex with the homely girl.
Like comic books and more movies than not, if sex is on the screen, I'd rather it were good looking people.
No one wants to see Tom Hanks doing Shirley McClaine, you know? (Well, there might be a few around Destructoid, haha)
Actually laughed when I read how they have the cheesy music and awkward fondling. I laughed because would you really have the alternative? Some smooth lovemaking ON CAMERA with some R&B?
Virtual sex scenes are already borderline creepy, but start moving closer to virtual porn...well, I'm going to go out on a limb and assume more people wouldn't want that than would.
So I'm with you on deeper complexities in relationships with dialogue and plot. Heavy Rain goes for that. And they have sex scenes and talk after, so you might want to play that one. Oh, but beware that they do have cheesy music.
Here's a thought though: Wouldn't it be great if instead of making sex better in games, what if writers became imaginative enough to form relationships with characters, even love relationships, without needing to use sex?
Sure, you get the occasional Heavy Rain where sex comes up adding to the story, but 99% of the time sex never needs to come up in a game.
Games are not movies and sex between polygon people is just...kind of sad.
I think this prudish outlook has been a problem for a long time, and video games are it's latest face. It's just as well then that this is becoming a more prevalent topic, as it means people are finally facing the cold reality that sex is as much a part of life (perhaps more so depending on the individual) as death.
I also question anyone who is more okay with a depiction of someone being brutally murdered than they are with a depiction of bare breasts or sexual intimacy.
Your last paragraph reminded me of a comment on a Berserk manga translation forum i like to quote:
"Frankly, you'd think someone having an arm chopped off would be more disturbing then a naked person, but that's not the way our society seems to view things. Violence and blood and gore are far more acceptable then nudity, though I've never understood why."
It was about, how one cover had censored breast on the foreground in the US publishing but completely uncensored violent background