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Something about E3: Nintendo, you got some 'splainin' to do photo
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[For her E3 musing, beverlynoelle (who actually got to go to E3, along with naiathegamer) tells us about her experiences with Nintendo's harem of 3DS girls. Have your own thoughts about E3? There's still time to post a Musing about it. -- JRo]

I’ve started and stopped writing on this post about a million times over the past week. Because it’s taken me so long, it may not be the timeliest E3 post, or the most revelatory, but it covers one of the most standout experiences of the whole event: My time with the 3DS.

First off, the Nintendo press conference was absolutely incredible. It literally left me speechless at some parts (well, unless you count SQUEEEEEEEEE as speech) and I have never been more impressed at a product lineup. I mean…new Metroid, Kirby, Donkey Kong Country, Zelda, Epic Mickey and Kid Icarus?! It was like all my nerd dreams were coming true (well, except for the one where I make out with Sephiroth for hours. But that’s a story for another time). And from the moment Nintendo officially unveiled the 3DS at their press conference, I knew I had to get my hands on one. So, still squee-ing, I hopped in my car with fellow Destructoider Naia, and off we went in search of 3D amazingness.

Hit the jump to read about our adventure.


GIVE IT TO ME I NEED IT

So E3 was super crowded and I picked up my press badge and…OK, look, I’m not going to bore you with minutiae; all the prefacing you’re going to need comes from the following statement:

I love booth babes. I’m not going to judge someone unfairly simply because they’re pretty and trying to make a living; furthermore, I’m not going to condemn companies for using any means necessary to get people into their booths (hey, THIS ECONOMY, man). I talked to many of my scantily-clad sisters and they were all charming, knowledgeable, friendly, and helpful. Even the Playboy Playmates Mafia II hired seemed happy to be there and genuinely interested in posing with fans.


PEWPEWPEWPEWPEW

However, there is one notable exception to my booth babe lovin’, and that is Nintendo’s 3DS babes (or, as I like to think of them, living security devices.)

You may have seen them at the press conference: Beautiful women with short skirts, knee-high boots, and tight t-shirts and blazers, with 3DS’ strapped around their waists (ostensibly so people wouldn’t try to run off with one; however, I’m sure many a nerd would gladly take the 3DS and the girl as well). I was deeply conflicted at the press conference; it had been stellar up until the last few minutes when the girls were introduced, so why even include babes at all? It’s not exactly like Nintendo has a reputation for trying to be edgy and XTREEEEME, and yet there they were, promoting their most exciting new technology the same way as Call of Duty. It didn’t exactly seem in sync with Nintendo’s branding, but I kind of laughed it off at the time.

Cue to three hours later, when Naia and I were just about to get our hands on a 3DS for the first time.

Let me back up a little by saying that, yes, immediately following the conference, we stood in line for THREE HOURS to have 10 minutes of play time on a 3DS. (Wouldn’t you?) What was great about the Nintendo booth was that they had company employees going around and showing off the other products announced at the show. Because of this, a really nice Nintendo employee let Dragon Quest fangirl Naia to go through a quest on the new title in the series while we waited.



Rob McCullough (the employee demoing the game) was very nice, knowledgeable, friendly and funny (but sorry, ladies and gents, he’s married). He seemed to know a lot about the specific product he was carrying and was savvy enough to make comparisons to other (even—gasp!—non-Nintendo) games. Our interactions with him were very positive and left me more excited than ever to see the 3DS, because if the girls showing them to us were even half as enthusiastic as this guy, it was going to be a mind-blowing experience.

Cut to 2 hours and 59 minutes later when we’re about to touch a 3DS for the first time. Child-like excitement overtook me as they led us into the preview area, where six lines of long tables were laid out with 3DS’ on them, smiling girls sitting directly behind them. Each 3DS had a different preview (movie trailers, game trailers, and game demos) on it so you had to switch stations to see the 3DS’ full capabilities. I immediately beelined for an open station, which had a movie trailer loaded on it. I stood there and the girl attached to this particular 3DS smiled at me.

“OK, so this is a 3D movie trailer.”

I nodded, and she continued. “So, you can adjust the 3D like this…”

…and proceeded to fumble around with the screen. She had no idea where the 3D slider was. Finally after a moment she got it (it’s on the right side of the top screen, FYI) and I watched the trailer (which was, like, a kid’s movie with owls or something. Waaaasn’t really paying attention because OMG IT’S IN 3D WHAT IS THIS I DON’T EVEN.) To celebrate another job well done, she then began putting on makeup. (Yes, seriously.)

The fact that the girl couldn’t find the slider was slightly amusing, as she had been demoing the product for 4-5 hours at that point, but I figured maybe someone had called in sick or something and they had to find a gorgeous, stacked girl at the last minute to demo the product.

…yeeeeeah, I think you can tell where this is going.

Naia had the station next to me and was playing Nintendogs and Cats. I asked her how the size compared to her DSi. Since she had her DSi with her, she pulled it out of her bag and held it alongside the 3DS at her station.



Keep in mind that these products look almost exactly the same. They’re the same size; the 3DS top screen is slightly bigger and it has an analog stick instead of the d-pad, and that’s about it. Closed, they look almost identical. So you can probably imagine my confusion when the girl at Naia’s station said this:

“What is that?”

Naia paused for a second and said, “It’s a DSi.”

“Oh, OK.”

I’m going to give you a moment to process the fact that the DSi and 3DS both have “DS” in the name. That knowledge should adequately cover exactly why the next question the girl asked was so mind-boggling:

“…is that by Nintendo?”

Things only went downhill from there. I went to go get my hands on an actual game, something with dinosaurs that lets you face off against one another (kinda like Primal Rage, minus the badassery, but plus ZOMG 3D which more than compensates). Since I hadn’t actually tried a game yet, I was pretty excited.

“Does this game use the stylus? Wait, does this even have a stylus?”

The girl took the 3DS out of my hands, turned it over a few times, then handed it back to me without saying a word. Does it have a stylus? To this day, I have no idea. (Seriously, do you know? SOMEBODY TELL ME!)

The screen said press A to start.

“So you press this to begin…” she says, and starts poking at the screen with her finger (why didn’t she just use the styl…oh, wait.). Needless to say, the game didn’t begin, so she handed it back over to me so I could figure it out. I played the game for a little bit, tore up a stegosaurus with my tiny t-rex arms, then was not-so-gently told by a Nintendo official that our group’s time was up and could we please leave the demo area.

I caught back up with Naia whose last experience with the 3DS was watching a trailer for Kingdom Hearts. The trailer looked great, she said, but she couldn’t tell from watching it whether it was a remake of the first Kingdom Hearts game, or a totally brand new one for the 3DS. So, she asked the girl accompanying the 3DS it was playing on if it was a remake or a new game.

The response? “Um, it’s Kingdom Hearts.”



Talk about anti-climactic.

The booth girls’ inability to answer questions about the 3DS was more than just annoying, it was disrespectful. E3 is an event for industry and media; the majority of the people attending are extremely knowledgeable about games. Why Nintendo felt it was OK to replace its regular, intelligent employees (like Rob) with pretty models to demo its most exciting new product is beyond me. Most E3 attendees expect more than just a vacant smile and tight t-shirt, they want to know about the product itself. And it’s not even like we were asking hard-hitting questions; just questions relating to basic functionality and product knowledge. I could maybe understand a bit of ignorance in terms of the heavier technical stuff (like how the 3D works). But basic usage questions should’ve been easily answerable, right? Right?

The thing that I can’t get over is how quickly my excitement over the 3DS turned into borderline rage solely because the people demoing it weren’t doing their job. Nintendo and the 3DS would’ve been better served by having cute puppies chained to the product.


At least we don’t expect puppies to answer questions other than “Where’s Mr. Squeakers?!” and “Do you have to go outsi…NO NOT AGAIN HOW MANY TIMES DO I HAVE TO TELL YOU?”

Even after waiting in line for hours, I was still excited about the 3DS. But then, after ten minutes of hands-on time with completely disinterested booth babes…it kind of killed the buzz, you know? I actually felt disrespected by Nintendo. The fact that they left their most important new technology in the hands of people who knew next to nothing about it solely because they were attractive really left a bad taste in my mouth, because that’s not what we’ve come to expect from Nintendo. Nintendo has always signified quality, innovation and intelligence to me…and in all of their other demonstrations, those qualities were exemplified by their employees.

I just can’t believe that they would make an exception to those standards for the people in charge of the most important new tech from the show. Because of that, my experience with the 3DS was by far the most disappointing of the whole show. (And I even played the Glee karaoke game.)

So, Nintendo, next year? Less stupidity, more puppies.








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72 comments | showing # 1 to 50
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next 50 comments

Xander Markham's Avatar - Comment posted on 06/23/2010 14:43
Xander Markham
Poor Nintendo 3DS babes. They looked so good, yet failed so bad.
Mark Griffiths's Avatar - Comment posted on 06/23/2010 14:45
Mark Griffiths
If I was in America and had a 3DS, I'd give it to you, take it back and then give it to you again. :P

Good times. We had fun doing the chat, but you got a 360, didn't you? :(
naia-the-gamer's Avatar - Comment posted on 06/23/2010 14:46
naia-the-gamer
That Nintendo rep was so nice. I was on cloud 9 that day.
Gobun's Avatar - Comment posted on 06/23/2010 14:46
Gobun
Bev, you shoulda SLAPPED THAT BITCH IN THE TITS, TELLER WASSUP
Stevil's Avatar - Comment posted on 06/23/2010 14:48
Stevil
I'm saving that booth babe pic for...er...research purposes. Yeeeeah, that's it. Research. Ahem.

Christ, it sounds like a local videogame store than a PR exercise! That's all I've seen from various videos is people either rigidly sticking to a script or just last-minute hiring of people who don't know enough to make a slip up. I think the big companies stake everything on those big presentations more than anything else. That's the sales pitch for them.

Also, Nintendo disrespecting people always happens when they're popular. The Gamecube-era was like someone telling you that they love your friendship, only to absolutely shit on when they got back on their feet a la my student house circa 2006. They've always been false, but at the end of the day, they're a business like everyone else.
Sharpless's Avatar - Comment posted on 06/23/2010 14:51
Sharpless
It's nice to hear a woman speaking in defense of booth babes. There's certainly a crass, misogynistic angle that can rear its ugly head from time to time, but I've always found the idea kind of charming. As long as the women are treated well by both their employers and the people they interact with, I see very little harm in it. It's unnecessary, but it's usually just a fun bit of silliness.

There's no excuse for Nintendo to send uninformed ladies out there. At the very least, they should've sat the ladies down and educated them on the basics of what they might need to share with the public. I'll just assume it was a last-minute decision or some sort of scheduling screw-up. I can imagine a major company like Nintendo being that short-sighted and careless. (I'm sure someone can find a joke in that sentence, but I didn't intend it as such.)
norm9's Avatar - Comment posted on 06/23/2010 14:52
norm9
At the LA Auto Show, anybody standing by the cars knows just about everything there is to know about the cars. Any question, no matter how stupid or complex are answered. Its too bad it can't be the same for games/gadgets.

Makes you wonder the ratio of people standing in line to check out the 3DS to people waiting for their chance to stare at ladies up close.
Jackson Starburst's Avatar - Comment posted on 06/23/2010 14:54
Jackson Starburst
Why hire them then not teach them about the game? People aren't going to buy a 3DS because the booth babes look good, it seems pointless ot have them.

And the girl who asked “…is that by Nintendo?”. Surely with the constant TV advertising and the fact the everybody owns a NINTENDO DS, she should have known who makes the thing.
manasteel88's Avatar - Comment posted on 06/23/2010 14:58
manasteel88
So wait...you're telling me that those busty Nintendo models weren't smart? That shakes the foundation of my world!
Elsa's Avatar - Comment posted on 06/23/2010 14:59
Elsa
Awesome blog.... and you exactly encapsulate my feelings about booth babes. If they are knowledgable, friendly and seem at all happy to be there - no problem. When they look bored and uncomfortable (like at the VGA awards) or when they are stupid and don't represent the product well, they they are better off using real gamers or staff rather than booth babes.

I'm looking back to a really old blog I wrote after seeing some of the booth babe interviews done for G4 a few years ago... they were all asked simple questions about the games at their booths... one woman said ""you like fly through the air in this plane-thingy and get to shoot stuff... giggle, giggle". When another was asked about the game, she was even more blunt and replied ""who's going to ask me about the game when I have this big cut out showing my boobs"... giggle, giggle, hairflip while she pointed to her boobs. It was this type of thing that totally turned me off the whole booth babe thing. Really... it's just embarrassing for the dev or publisher using these walking billboards for frontal lobotomies.

Things do seem to be getting better though... a story done on the main Dtoid page had one of the staff trying to make a booth babe uncomfortable by putting his arm around her and posing for a picture just a little too long - and the gal handled it with class and aplomb! That's the way they should be - customer service reps, not walking boobs.

Sounds like you had fun though... and I'm sooo jealous that you got to see a 3DS!
KyleGamgee's Avatar - Comment posted on 06/23/2010 15:16
KyleGamgee
Great blog.

I will say that Nintendo must have done training for that one day only. Anything earlier would have risked leaking their big reveal. However, if each girl was showcasing ONE thing, then it should have been NO problem teaching them s few basics about the system and some specifics about the movie/game they were assigned.

OR, they could have had a few reps up there that were not security devices roaming the tables and at any question they couldn't handle, the Booth Babe could have called them over.

OR...

Ugh! You're right. They could have done it right. No excuse that they didn't. That is disappointing.
Corduroy Turtle's Avatar - Comment posted on 06/23/2010 15:26
Corduroy Turtle
Cat fight.
Alex Barbatsis's Avatar - Comment posted on 06/23/2010 15:40
Alex Barbatsis
I agree with Gobun
LawofThermalDynamics's Avatar - Comment posted on 06/23/2010 15:51
LawofThermalDynamics
Ok, the 3ds is great, we've established that. Tell me though. Did you play Kirby? and is it worth the fact that I lost 87% of my bodily fluids (ranging from blood, sweat, tears, to vomit)please tell me... also awesome.
SteezyXL's Avatar - Comment posted on 06/23/2010 15:58
SteezyXL
I totally face-palmed more than once while reading this blog. That's so embarrassing AND disrespectful.

Also, I agree with everything Elsa wrote. I mean, I like booth babes as much as the next guy (or gal), but if I wanted to look at half-naked dumb chicks looking hot, well, that's why I own a laptop. Give me something my laptop can't get me, a hot chick who's not afraid to talk about/play video games.
Kickastronaut's Avatar - Comment posted on 06/23/2010 17:23
Kickastronaut
Great post, and I find Kylegamgee made a good point as well. How long would you get to train these people before sending them out to the crowd. How long until some random booth babe would update her facebook/twitter status with something like, "Working the weekend for Nintendo. Supposed to demo some 3d gameboy thing at a show." The thing was already starting to leak when the bigger DS came out people made comments that it would hurt the sales. I'd tend to believe Nintendo went in trying to hold as much info as close to themselves as they could.

BUT...

I agree with the entire post as far as how quickly excitment can turn in the blink of an eye. Just need an unenthusiactic prick in the mix. Not that I'm sure you weren't still excited for the hardware. But I can get excited for the 3DS, for example, on my own. But I can keep that excitement on the forefront of my mind for hours if I just talk about it with like minded individuals.
Occams electric toothbrush's Avatar - Comment posted on 06/23/2010 17:35
Occams electric toothbrush
I liked how the 3DS was chained to the girls, like the 80's spy movies in which the briefcase full of IMPORTANT DOCUMENTS was handcuffed to the guy. Also, that guy always died and had like, two lines of which one was usually, "Here is the briefcase." Gotta hand it to the Mafia II booth babes for sporting the pin up look. That's something I actually find attractive.

As for the Nintendo girls (or the league of older sisters, as I like to call them) eh, I'm not surprised but I am disappointed. Maybe home girl was exhausted from all the Nintendo fervor? Or maybe she was pissed that the 3DS was getting eye fucked more than she was? Anywho, glad you had a time and thanks for sharing.
Excel-2011's Avatar - Comment posted on 06/23/2010 18:57
Excel-2011
The 3DSes on display were imperfect prototypes. The tubes weren't for security, they were piping the soul energy of those fertile maidens for their power supply. It's only natural that some of them would be light-headed that day. The final product will run on self-sufficient batteries and not human power.
lewness's Avatar - Comment posted on 06/23/2010 19:12
lewness
Thank God she didn't think that you managed to steal a 3DS from someone when you took out the DSi.

BoothBabe: Hey, that's our 3DS!
You: No, stupid bitch, it's a DSi!
BoothBabe: 3DS, DSi... I KNOW that "I" is the 3rd letter of the alphabet. Give it back! <slap>
**CATFIGHT**

'Course, I made the stupid bitch part up. And the catfight.

So where is the stylus?
Jonathan Holmes's Avatar - Comment posted on 06/23/2010 19:25
Jonathan Holmes
I have never met a booth babe that was knowledgeable about the games they were representing. Maybe I've just been unlucky thus far?
Sean Carey's Avatar - Comment posted on 06/23/2010 20:46
Sean Carey
The sad thing was, the gals in the line on the way to the 3DS were totally knowledgable and still really cute! Many of them talked about their experiences at other conventions, and I heard lots of them shooting the breeze with the people in line about their favorite games.

Then once you got to the area where you could demo them, it was all the Deal or No Deal gals.

You don't trade in Willow for Cordelia.
Y0j1mb0's Avatar - Comment posted on 06/23/2010 21:36
Y0j1mb0
Good read. Well done Bev.
Enkido's Avatar - Comment posted on 06/23/2010 22:26
Enkido
"I picked up my press badge and…OK, look, I’m not going to bore you with minutiae"
No wait, I really want to know. Did you take a bat to an unsuspecting journalists face, did you drug someone, did you skin them and wear their face like a mask? These are important questions. Also, I don't know if puppies would have worked better, they are generally more portable.
CelicaCrazed's Avatar - Comment posted on 06/23/2010 23:43
CelicaCrazed
You guys totally should have swapped the DSi for the 3DS. Doesn't sound like she would have noticed haha.

I'd feel sorry for you over this "experience" but you've at least seen the 3DS unlike moi :P
Beyamor's Avatar - Comment posted on 06/24/2010 00:27
Beyamor
Reading this was, ah, uncomfortable.

Okay, how about this for a proposal folks: next E3, I'll take on the role of Booth Boy. I promise to be welcoming, knowledgeable, and maybe even generous enough to let you play with the 3DS when I'm done with it.

Heck, added bonus, I'll wear a low-cut shirt too. Oh no.
MacAttackNChee's Avatar - Comment posted on 06/24/2010 04:00
MacAttackNChee
Great blog! Sounds like Nintendo didn't want to overdo the awesome. "We've got an army of sexy babes showcasing our mind blowing product? No no no, cover them up and fire any who are smart enough to safely operate a pen!"

Way to give an incredibly sub par presentation for your biggest product Ninten "Doh"... heh ...
Sven Wohl's Avatar - Comment posted on 06/24/2010 05:57
Sven Wohl
Great read! Also, cute puppies!!
Chris Carter's Avatar - Comment posted on 06/24/2010 13:08
Chris Carter
"You may have seen them at the press conference: Beautiful women with short skirts, knee-high boots, and tight t-shirts and blazers, with 3DS’ strapped around their waists"

I felt the same. It was kind of ridiculous for Nintendo to randomly dress up their booth girls in club clothes. It wasn't just the conference, the actual booth was ALL girls dressed like that! They literally couldn't answer any questions I had for any Nintendo games.
Adam11's Avatar - Comment posted on 06/24/2010 13:10
Adam11
Nice post @beverlynoelle ! Hahaha!
SneakerElph's Avatar - Comment posted on 06/24/2010 13:14
SneakerElph
It's not like Nintendo needs booth babes to grab the attention of E3-goers anyway. Every single person there wanted to check out the 3DS, they didn't need an attractive girl to draw them in.
AwesomeExMachina's Avatar - Comment posted on 06/24/2010 13:19
AwesomeExMachina
Maybe next time Nintendo hires people to show off their 3D technology, the should bring along people whose personalities aren't 2D.

MECHA ZING
Blorp's Avatar - Comment posted on 06/24/2010 13:22
Blorp
Exactly my thoughts about how I feel about booth babes. If Nintendo wants to start selling their consoles with boobies, they should at least have them to be able to demonstrate and talk about the product...

Also, gratz for front page! <3
Monodi's Avatar - Comment posted on 06/24/2010 13:23
Monodi
I have never been in E3, but I have been in ComicCon before. I think that the whole concept of booth babes is generally awkward.
adamkirby1's Avatar - Comment posted on 06/24/2010 13:30
adamkirby1
I may have missed this, but were ANY of the booth babes knowledgeable about their products at all? It said "Even the Playboy Playmates Mafia II hired seemed happy to be there and genuinely interested in posing with fans" but did they, or any other booth babes for any companies, know anything about the industry, or even the product they're advertising?

Also (to all E3 attendees), which booth babes seemed to know the most about the product? Or are they all just sent in with nothing but their looks? I imagine there are at least a few companies that give their products at least a once-over with the girls.
DeliciousBees's Avatar - Comment posted on 06/24/2010 13:31
DeliciousBees
That's the opposite of my interactions with the Nintendo E3 booth, but that might just be because a group of us managed to get into the VIP line with our D-list gaming celebritiness.

While it was still 90% female "booth babes", all of them without fail recognized who we were from and what games we made based solely on our E3 passes that had our corporate overlord's name on it. I even asked a bunch of questions about their AR demo and got smart and intelligent responses.

Maybe Nintendo just kept the cream of the crop for the VIP lounge, and left the rest for the show floor?
D00mM4r1n3's Avatar - Comment posted on 06/24/2010 13:33
D00mM4r1n3
Somethings are best seen and not heard. Just sayin'.
mi6bomb's Avatar - Comment posted on 06/24/2010 13:49
mi6bomb
I'd have to agree with you. The people demo'ing the rest of Nintendo's products on the showfloor were very knowledgeable and able to field questions. Almost all of them were actual developers on the games they were showing. My experience with the 3DS girls was a bit of a mixed bag. Some of them were very friendly, helpful, and interested, and some of them had the attitude of "weird gamers, just keep your distance and don't touch me."

The only time I really felt disrespected was playing Killzone 3. The Sony rep game me the cold shoulder after I asked if zooming in was still "clicking in the right thumb stick." He responded with rolling his eyes and saying "...yes it is. And its called R3 by the way."
Blahblahblahblah's Avatar - Comment posted on 06/24/2010 13:52
Blahblahblahblah
@The girl who asked "What is that?"


Herp derp derp....
jaycobo's Avatar - Comment posted on 06/24/2010 13:52
jaycobo
@troll
You're a troll.
OMG!!
Archwright's Avatar - Comment posted on 06/24/2010 13:53
Archwright
Seen some video where people were checking out the 3DS. I swear, if the lady said "No pictures of the screen" one more time, I was gonna go back in time and slap her trainer.

No one can argue that they didn't do exactly what they were supposed to do, they were just trained WRONG.
zombiekiller13's Avatar - Comment posted on 06/24/2010 13:57
zombiekiller13
@Sean Carey
You don't trade in Willow for Cordelia.

Never have truer words been spoken.
TwistedFate013's Avatar - Comment posted on 06/24/2010 14:01
TwistedFate013
Read this yesterday. Great post, congrats on the frontpage!
pedrovay2003's Avatar - Comment posted on 06/24/2010 14:03
pedrovay2003
Well, I would have stolen the girls along with the 3DS, like you said. And after heaing this, I would have given them back. :-P
SilverDragon1979's Avatar - Comment posted on 06/24/2010 14:11
SilverDragon1979
I'm glad to see this post made the front page. It's a great write-up and deserves it.

@Beverly
It was a pleasure meeting you last week at Kyle's party. :-)

I need to get my butt in gear and post all my pictures from E3.
Tarvu's Avatar - Comment posted on 06/24/2010 14:31
Tarvu
Awesomely scary story. And who needs booth babes when there are awesomely awesome girls like Beverly?
Blorp's Avatar - Comment posted on 06/24/2010 14:32
Blorp
@Tarvu I second that.
MooImaChicken's Avatar - Comment posted on 06/24/2010 14:35
MooImaChicken
news flash hot girls are usually not smart... but that's pretty depressing.
booth girl: so does it use a stylus?
me: yeah you just have to hold it tight and use it like last night...
booth girl: what?
me: what?
Sharpless's Avatar - Comment posted on 06/24/2010 14:36
Sharpless
@The Troll
"Homely"? Get your eyes checked, son. I believe they call that procedure a "vasectomy." I suggest you get it done. Don't even ask them about it. Just go do it. Trust me.
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