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Someone at ThinkGeek really enjoyed Portal 2 photo

ThinkGeek is making good use of its licensing agreement with Valve by introducing nine Portal 2-themed products. We're a little obsessed with the game as well, so it's all good.

I was quite certain nothing would top the ridiculousness of the talking Cave Johnson portrait, but we have a new king: "military-grade" shower curtains. There's even a video demonstration!

Take a look for yourself. The rest of the line-up includes a Companion Cube cookie jar, cookie cutters, bookends, an adorable plush turret, LED flashlights, and a PotatOS Science Kit. A couple of items are listed as being "available soon," though one can assume everything will be ready in time for the holidays.

●     Aperture Laboratories Shower Curtain - At long last, fans of Aperture Laboratories can put their hands on the product that started it all: military-grade shower curtains.  ThinkGeek presents gamers with their very own Aperture Science shower curtain to transform their bathroom into a test chamber.  This collectible curtain is available now for $19.99.

●     Portal Companion Cube Cookie Jar - A replica of the Weighted Companion Cube that makes a prominent appearance as an inanimate, but lovable, puzzle solving device in the original Portal.  Available soon for $29.99.

●     Portal Cookie Cutters - Of course, a cookie jar without cookies is like an empty test chamber in your soul.  So fill up your new Companion Cube Cookie Jar with delicious treats inspired by the "warning signs" featured in the game.  The Portal Cookie Cutters feature an all metal construction and come in a collectible Companion Cube tin.  Available now for $19.99.

●     Portal Bookends - 4”x5” solid metal bookends to maintain the vertical orientation your impressive collection of science textbooks.  One end shows the Portal test subject icon entering through an orange entry portal, while the other end shows him exiting through a blue exit portal.  Available now for $29.99.

●     Portal 2 Plush Turret with Sound -  A classic character from Portal video game series, this Turret features motion detection, light, sound and vibration. When sensing motion, the Portal 2 Plush Turret reacts with voice and simulated machine gun fire. To "disable" it, you just tip it over like you would in the game.  Start assembling your Turret army for just $34.99.

●     Wheatley LED Flashlight -  A 2” tall version of the smart talking Wheatley character, simply push a button, and a super-bright LED flashlight emanates from Wheatley's "eye" to illuminate your surroundings. Available now for $19.99.

●     Portal 2 PotatOS Science Kit - Create your own GLaDOS with a PotatOS Science Kit including electronic talking GLaDOS module. You provide the potato and some simple assembly.  Even Wheatley could do it.  Available soon for $29.99.

●     Portal Turret LED Flashlight with Sound - Standing just 3” tall, this intricately detailed replica of the Turret enemies will light your way with a red LED beam, emanating from the Turret’s eye.  With a push of the button on the side, you can hear the turret talk, just like in the game. Available now for $24.99.

●     Portal 2 Cave Johnson Talking Portrait - The most amazing man ever, Cave Johnson, founder of Aperture, repeats his famous motivational quotes from Portal 2. Suitable decoration for any room or test chamber in your home.  Available now for $39.99.








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Jordan Devore is Destructoid's PC gaming manager and founding ginger editor. He is said to be easy to love but difficult to know. When Samit inquired about his curious bio photo Jordan simply replied: "bitches love sandcastles" ... yet, there is no sandcastle in that photo. We may never truly understand his ways. Likes Platformers, Pixel-based graphics, Stickerbrush Symphony, Pokemon, Leaderboards Meet the rest of the team



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14 comments | showing # 1 to 14
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Gorescream's Avatar - Comment posted on 12/02/2011 23:03
Gorescream
I have ordered countless items from ThinkGeek, love that site so much.
hawtpokkitz's Avatar - Comment posted on 12/02/2011 23:20
hawtpokkitz
I want all the things.
DaedHead8's Avatar - Comment posted on 12/02/2011 23:23
DaedHead8
I'm in the market for a new shower curtain.... hmmmm....
smurfee mcgee's Avatar - Comment posted on 12/02/2011 23:35
smurfee mcgee
Gah. I thought that shower curtain actually had the turret on it. Why the hell doesn't it?
Chris Carter's Avatar - Comment posted on 12/03/2011 00:09
Chris Carter
I want all this but it's so damn expensive.
MrDandyMan's Avatar - Comment posted on 12/03/2011 01:24
MrDandyMan
LAAAAAAAATE

the (nearly) only necessary portal-related merch was already made by penny-arcade after the first portal and can be found here http://store.penny-arcade.com/products/pat070441 . I must say though those bookends sure are smart.
Verol's Avatar - Comment posted on 12/03/2011 06:26
Verol
Man I want all these things, but they are just a little too price for me to justify spending money on. The little turret is close.
qliqQLAQ's Avatar - Comment posted on 12/03/2011 08:21
qliqQLAQ
@Verol

The stuff is cheaper as in the official valve-store.
Especially the mugs
Rubios's Avatar - Comment posted on 12/03/2011 09:18
Rubios
I just bought the bookends.
SKSith's Avatar - Comment posted on 12/03/2011 09:30
SKSith
There is nothing on that list that I don't want.
Noir's Avatar - Comment posted on 12/03/2011 11:01
Noir
I need the turret flashlight because "I don't hate you" is a line I need to hear everyday before venturing into this hateful world! $25 is a bit steep, but I'm willing to pay for it.
Chongomaster's Avatar - Comment posted on 12/03/2011 11:12
Chongomaster
I thought it said Wheatley fleshlight. I still dream...
AlexBebop's Avatar - Comment posted on 12/03/2011 13:37
AlexBebop
Ooo, I love the book ends and coasters.
Joanna Mueller's Avatar - Comment posted on 12/03/2011 13:43
Joanna Mueller
Must make myself a Turret Plush.
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