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Here it comes, ladies and gentlemen -- the onslaught of Grand Theft Auto IV coverage that's guaranteed to both anger you (because you don't have it) and spoil all of the good stuff (because you don't have it ... yet).

IGN has posted their full review of the game, which spans seven pages, and ends in them awarding the game a 10 out of 10. I refuse to read the review myself -- playing the game for a few hours was almost enough of a spoiler for me. But browsing the first paragraph, I read this: "Without question, Grand Theft Auto IV is the best game since Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time." Well then. 

So the game is good. We get it. While waiting by my door for the FedEx man to arrive with my copy for review (no, it didn't come), I realized something -- does it really matter? You're all going to run out and buy the game either at launch or a few days later. If I gave the game a three out of 10, you'd call me a "tw@"and buy it anyway. It's Grand Theft Auto IV, man. If the game came with trace amounts of anthrax lining the instruction manual, you'd still be lined up for the midnight release. 

Is there anyone here not planning on buying GTA IV? If so, please give some compelling reasons why, and provide scans of your medical records, because I don't think you're well.

[Thanks, Ben!]


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102 comments | showing # 1 to 50

ZServ's Avatar - Comment posted on 04/25/2008 17:56
ZServ
I dont plan on buying it right away; no money.
---AMARU---'s Avatar - Comment posted on 04/25/2008 17:58
---AMARU---
ZOMG TEH 10 OUT OF 10'S!!!!!!!!
Nick Chester's Avatar - Comment posted on 04/25/2008 17:59
Nick Chester
OK, the money thing is a good excuse. But barring that ...
The Grudge's Avatar - Comment posted on 04/25/2008 18:00
The Grudge
I will buy it. I might even go to a "midnight" selling of the game.
GrayFox's Avatar - Comment posted on 04/25/2008 18:01
GrayFox
Even though it's IGN, "best game since ocarina of time" makes my penis enlarge.
Hoss's Avatar - Comment posted on 04/25/2008 18:02
Hoss
im not... lack of next gen console and i just dont take rockstar seriously... i can only commit so much crime that it becomes one dimensional to me

*braces for projected hate*
Rockvillian's Avatar - Comment posted on 04/25/2008 18:04
Rockvillian
I'm not getting it, no 360 or PS3.

And I had a broken collarbone when I was 6, had a growth removed from my nasal cavity last year, and recently quit smoking of all kinds (thank God) since that directly correlated with the nasal surgery.

So I have no money now either. Got friends with 360s though :P
Danmartigan's Avatar - Comment posted on 04/25/2008 18:04
Danmartigan
Oh noes you spoiled the whole game for me, it has helicopters? You can shoot people in boats?!?! ARGH

Anyway, the multiplayer looks amazing. Looking forward to the FNFs already.
Slick Icarus's Avatar - Comment posted on 04/25/2008 18:04
Slick Icarus
No 360 or PS3, and my PC sucks, so, not now, at least. But it will be one of the first PS3 games I get when I do get the system, right next to MGS4.
Rockvillian's Avatar - Comment posted on 04/25/2008 18:05
Rockvillian
@Hoss

I love you for saying that. I don't take em seriously either, and yeah.
Quisling's Avatar - Comment posted on 04/25/2008 18:12
Quisling
I don't know. I just never really got into the GTA series. Not enough enjoyment for me I think.

And I'm fairly certain I'm unwell. I'll just play more Ikaruga and CoD4...
Cheeburga's Avatar - Comment posted on 04/25/2008 18:13
Cheeburga
I'll get it when my xbox is fixed.
Tromboned's Avatar - Comment posted on 04/25/2008 18:14
Tromboned
I only ever liked gta2, and that was because it was a great low-bandwidth LAN game. GTA one was off of my charts when it was released (...it does exist, right?) and GTA3... well, the story just wasnt compelling enough. I fully agree with the hoss/rock. whats the point? The most time I spent playing it was to poke around, then get as many cops trying to kill me as possible. There was more, you mean?
Static Jak's Avatar - Comment posted on 04/25/2008 18:14
Static Jak
I can't take this waiting much longer. I know it's only a few short days away but it feels like times slowed down on me. I must have this game!
Creamsnake's Avatar - Comment posted on 04/25/2008 18:15
Creamsnake
So that means Ocarina of Time is better than this game. Excuse me while I go and not fire up my N64.
Projectexodus's Avatar - Comment posted on 04/25/2008 18:21
Projectexodus
I'm not getting it...

Medical record:
- OCD
- Depression
- Anxiety
- Social Phobia
- Ear infection



Haha... just kidding, I'm getting the game.
Matthew Blake's Avatar - Comment posted on 04/25/2008 18:21
Matthew Blake
Not getting it, mainly due to the fact that I do not own either a PS3 or a 360. Honestly, I'm not surprised that it was given a 10 out of 10. Don't get me wrong; from what I've seen, it looks like GTA 4's gonna be a good time, but really, would we expect anything less from any of the major review sites?
StriderS's Avatar - Comment posted on 04/25/2008 18:22
StriderS
@Creamsnake - oic, gonna go fire up your Wii instead?

I can't get it, no next gen systems. I do want it though.
Orionsaint's Avatar - Comment posted on 04/25/2008 18:25
Orionsaint
Best game since Soul Calibur. The last game they awarded a 10. I can't wait. I hope it looks better than previous GTA games ;)

h3lios's Avatar - Comment posted on 04/25/2008 18:30
h3lios
i might pick this up a little later when it's on the greatest hits line up. Never was a big GTA fan (barring GTA: Vice City that is. For now i got my hands full with games such as GT5: Prologue, Patapon, Crisis Core, Chains of Olympus, MGS Online Beta and Lost Odyssey. Plus i got FES on the way and saved up the remaining pocket shrapnel for the MGS 4 LE.

Sure GTA4 might be the alpha and omega of gaming for most people, but i'm not one of them. Though if i get gifted a copy, i won't be complaining.
hammburglar's Avatar - Comment posted on 04/25/2008 18:30
hammburglar
hell even im gonna get it. and i didnt even like GTA3 vice city or san andreas.
Clockwork's Avatar - Comment posted on 04/25/2008 18:31
Clockwork
Cant. Wait.

Days. Getting. Longer.
Hoss's Avatar - Comment posted on 04/25/2008 18:31
Hoss
@matthew

right... by major you mean funded from copious advertisements im sure hah... i need to see more reviews, namely from here or zero punctuation

is hell freezing over? gta fans i envision are very defensive... is this community really that refined?!?

people agreeing with me... what the hell is that? this is supposed to be undeniable greatness and i should be excommunicated from here for heresy
h3lios's Avatar - Comment posted on 04/25/2008 18:36
h3lios
@Hoss:

People are agreeing because of one of the following reasons:

1. MGS Online Beta servers are shot to pieces.
2. You might actually make sense.

i'm putting my bet on number 1 though.
Rainbowblack's Avatar - Comment posted on 04/25/2008 18:37
Rainbowblack
i lolerd at the obese hooker riding niko in the car
Rockefellow's Avatar - Comment posted on 04/25/2008 18:37
Rockefellow
I'm going to be getting it. I just hope it doesn't turn out like San Andreas, where I got bored of the story and just screwed around in the giant map. I still haven't beaten it...

Ah, hell. I don't think I even care, really. This looks too damned fantastic to not get.
Rockefellow's Avatar - Comment posted on 04/25/2008 18:39
Rockefellow
Anyone think I'll have a hard time finding a copy without a pre-order? I figured Best Buy or Target would probably have a copy, but...
DJDuffy 's Avatar - Comment posted on 04/25/2008 18:42
DJDuffy
I wasn't going to buy it, b/c my gf doesn't want me to, but I'm going to anyway! mwahahaa
Breedlove's Avatar - Comment posted on 04/25/2008 18:45
Breedlove
Never heard of it? Is it a casual game, I only go cashe when gaming now. Its the newest trend.
MrSadistic's Avatar - Comment posted on 04/25/2008 18:47
MrSadistic
I want to stab myself in the face knowing that I will not be able to pick this game for another month or so.
Cynical Gamer's Avatar - Comment posted on 04/25/2008 18:47
Cynical Gamer
The game will get no less than a 10 with major gaming publications due to money hats and marketing. I'm still buying it though.
BenHaskett's Avatar - Comment posted on 04/25/2008 18:54
BenHaskett
I won't be buying it, as I don't own a 360 or PS3. Just a Wii. It does look really cool though.

Funny thing, Bully came out for the Wii about a month ago and I just recently completed it. It was really fun; the controls and the combat were a bit janky, and the graphics were a bit wonky, but the game had a really great sense of humor and it was a great deal of fun to ride around on my bike. But because it's a school game, you can't kill anybody. It stops at noogies and pink-bellies. But yeah, anyway, I was looking at images of San Andreas and there was this one shot of a guy running over two other guys in his car. There was blood everywhere. And it looked a lot like Bully.

I'm not really sure where I'm going with this, but I guess all I mean is that it was like Barney suddenly going batshit insane and eating all the children in the classroom. You've got these two games with really similar play mechanics, where one stomps of your toe and shoves you into a garbage can, and the other slices open your belly and strangles you with your own intestines...
Pariah's Avatar - Comment posted on 04/25/2008 18:55
Pariah
I kept going to the back room at work and made sweet love to a special edition copy I claim as mine. sticky. Monday can not come soon enough. Oh, also some d-bag came first thing this morning with a print out of the "rockstar letter."

My response. That is bullshit and you know it. Either...

A: You think I am a moron
B: You are trying to get me fired
C: You are an idiot

I crack my knucles and give him the stink eye "Which is it?"

His response: "Uhh, can I still preorder a copy?"

/Facepalm
Wedge's Avatar - Comment posted on 04/25/2008 18:55
Wedge
I have no plans to get this game. Also I don't have a PS3 or 360.

Still though, after playing Crackdown a bit, I doubt I'd care about this game. This being grounded in reality is going to appeal a lot less to me after seeing what Crackdown did by taking it over the top. I always just played the PS2 ones to do crazy car stunts and explore, and I doubt this will top Crackdown in that regard.
Zanch's Avatar - Comment posted on 04/25/2008 18:58
Zanch
I tend to be skeptical of any review source willing to give a game a perfect score. There's no such thing as a perfect game.
Demios's Avatar - Comment posted on 04/25/2008 19:02
Demios
Cashwhore needs to post the 11/10 review asap. Dont let IGN and the likes steal the limelight.
BahamutZero's Avatar - Comment posted on 04/25/2008 19:05
BahamutZero
wedge, you have absolutely no idea what you're talking about, but thanks for playing.
Samit Sarkar's Avatar - Comment posted on 04/25/2008 19:08
Samit Sarkar
@Zanch: *Sigh* See here.

I can’t wait for this game. I’ve got my Special Edition pre-ordered, and I’m going to go pick it up on Monday night at Best Buy’s midnight launch.
stevesan's Avatar - Comment posted on 04/25/2008 19:14
stevesan
Reviews should be more personal. I don't care about an IGN review - I care about a Roger Ebert review.

Because everyone has different taste's, and how can one identify with a big corporation? Better to identify with an individual.
sevink's Avatar - Comment posted on 04/25/2008 19:15
sevink
I do not plan on buying this game. I feel GTA is an OK series, but the games them selves do not keep me playing longer then a few hours. I'm sure its ok, but again it is really just beating up people, stealing cars. Even if they add a great story it still comes down to those basic ideas. Just not my cup of tea.
lollifier's Avatar - Comment posted on 04/25/2008 19:24
lollifier
I cannot wait for my special edition!
annoying thing i have fucking exams in three weeks, so i wont be able to play it much.
...
who am i kidding?
Kyousuke Nanbu's Avatar - Comment posted on 04/25/2008 19:24
Kyousuke Nanbu
Who cares? Do you honestly think that anybody is gonna give GTA a bad review?

Its like Final Fantasy or any big Nintendo game, its pointless to read the reviews when its just gonna be people fawning over the awesomeness of said game and then finishing with 10/10.

There's quite a few franchises that a free pass from reviewers, GTA is obviously one of them.
GigaMach's Avatar - Comment posted on 04/25/2008 19:26
GigaMach
I will NOT be getting this game. I have never been enthralled by the GTA games, though I do concede that the scope and range of things you can do in them is impressive. I just can't connect to the themes, mainly, that crime pays.

I know, I know. No one is going to commit a crime BECAUSE of any GTA game. I would never believe that. I just mean that I don't care for the world GTA provides to raise mayhem in. I'm totally looking forward to Mercenaries 2, and MGS4, and doing as much stuff in them as I can, and shooting and blasting my way to "victory". It just feels different in GTA, and it's a difference I don't like.

Maybe I'll change my mind if I try it, but I have no desire to bother. Seems pretty overhyped to me, actually.
naia-the-gamer's Avatar - Comment posted on 04/25/2008 19:28
naia-the-gamer
*puts up flame shield*

I'm not picking up GTA IV. I haven't played any of the others either. I don't know much about them but I don't see the appeal in beating people up and stealing cars. If I wanted to play a game that was "realistic" I'd go outside.

Having said that I'm sure there is more to the game than that, but I need to know it's worth it before spending $60.

I know this makes me sound like one of those assholes from the PTC, but I'd entertain reasons why I should play one of the games. Do I need to play them in a certain order? Is there an actual story or is it just "anything goes?" I'm not trying to be a troll, I'm legitimately curious.

I'd be willing to give it a chance to see what the fuss was about, but nothing from what I've seen peaks my interest.

Sorry I don't have my medical records to give you, but I can assure you I'm healthy.
Matthew Blake's Avatar - Comment posted on 04/25/2008 19:31
Matthew Blake
I think I'd enjoy a lot of these games if they weren't over-hyped so much. Halo, for instance, has a fun multiplayer mode, and a mediocre single-player mode. Fine. Multiplayer is fun, but it's not enough for me to call it the greatest thing since sliced Goldeneye. I really like the idea of GTA, in that I can just screw around and do whatever I want; whenever me and my friends play it at their house, I always just drive like a madman. I never even pick up a gun.
rjc5056's Avatar - Comment posted on 04/25/2008 19:40
rjc5056
Have we noticed a trend yet in the types of games the "I'm NOT getting GTA. Pshhhh!" crowd leans towards? It's cool if you tend to skew a little Asian with your preferences but don't ruin our big circle jerk on the "lovin' it" side with your bad vibes.

I'm picking this up on Tues and after telling my gf how excited I was for it and showing her some screens the other day, she goes "Nice. I can't wait to explore the city and run over hookers together!"

God, do I love that woman.
BahamutZero's Avatar - Comment posted on 04/25/2008 19:40
BahamutZero
in this thread: people complaining about GTA who have never actually played the games and/or don't own next gen systems.
Jakysan's Avatar - Comment posted on 04/25/2008 19:40
Jakysan
Grant Theft Auto 3 changed my thoughts on gaming.. thats when I really saw a huge change in how a game could be played, and I put HUNDREDS of hours into the game. Hell, I killed over 375,000 people in that game on the PS2.. yeah, I'm totally getting GTA IV.
Reverend Slim's Avatar - Comment posted on 04/25/2008 19:43
Reverend Slim
I wasn't going to buy it. I played like 10 minutes of GTA3, hated the controls, never bothered with the others after that (though honestly, I really enjoyed GTA1, despite the fact that all I did was run around carjacking cops and having fun trying to escape).

Having read that review and having watched the video review... I'm starting to lean toward buying it just to find out. A friend got the PS3 version early and tells me the issues I had with the controls are completely fixed, with combat playing slightly like Gears of War. If that's true, I'm suddenly intrigued. Two days ago, I had no intention of buying another 360 game until Soul Calibur 4. Now... I'm not sure.
halokid's Avatar - Comment posted on 04/25/2008 19:52
halokid
Cant wait to play gta online
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