I'm not usually prone to playing straight-faced simulation games. You know the ones. If I ever did, it would be for a laugh rather than an actual desire to get enjoyment out of performing digital recreations of mundane tasks. Part of me feels guilty when I know perfectly well that people genuinely enjoy Train Simulator 2013, Euro Truck Simulator 2, and the like. To bag on this software I don't fully understand the appeal of makes me feel like a jerk.
As such, I'm trying to avoid doing that going forward, even if it can be challenging. Earlier today, I came across something called -- this is the literal title, it's worth pointing out -- Driving Range Golf Ball Picker-Upper Cart Simulator 2013. A bit of a giveaway, perhaps, that this free PC game isn't totally serious. It's also the result of the Something Awful Game Dev VIII Challenge which was all about "subversive edutainment." Uh huh.
I felt the strange urge to try it out, likely because my teenage brother has a part-time job involving, at times, driving one of these contraptions. After spending approximately 90 seconds collecting golf balls, I decided to run over a man with my cart just to watch him die*. I'll have you know he looked like a sad Stretch Armstrong that had been stretched one too many times, and that I regret nothing. Some things never change
*Also, a quote popped up and the screen faded to black when the dude's body fell apart like Silly Putty, so that means if I am a complete sociopath, at least I'm not alone.
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