French sex toy provider Absoloo has had the savvy idea to capitalize on Diablo III's obsessive following and exploit a tired gag for fun and profit. Whether you choose to laugh or despair (I'm going for a mixture of both), you have to applaud the brilliance. 

We all know the joke. A hot new game has released, and long-suffering girlfriends everywhere are having to look elsewhere for sex. We all laugh so hard at the concept that our eyes start to crack and spill their vital juices down our faces. Anyway, Absoloo is taking the joke to its logical end, offering a free "small vibrator" to anybody who finds themselves lacking a sex life thanks to Diablo III's release. 

If you're worried that this scheme throws up troubling stereotypes about men and women, don't worry. The company assures its potential customers that the vibrator is "not exclusively for girls," meaning that not only can we safely enjoy this story without being bad people, I also get something to stick up my arsehole. Everybody wins. 

In order to get one, just go to Absoloo's Facebook page and share a photo of yourself with the game. Of course, this joke would have been funnier had Error 37 not kept many players out of the game this week, but there you go.

French Sex Toy Site Offers Free Vibrators to Diablo III Widows [The Escapist]

Legacy Comments (will be imported soon)

BkV

I think I'll stay a while and listen to the sounds of the vibrations, even though none of us are interested in Diablo III.

Syn

While this is indeed pretty funny, I have no sympathy for those bitches.

The Virgin Queen

Warning to Diablo III widowers: Don't shove this vibrator up your bum, you need one with a flat base before sending it to brown town. Just thought I'd.. you know.. ahem.. Fuck this, I'm going to go play DIII.

mix

A free taint tickler?
A rectum rumbler giveaway?
A free ass assassin?

......and I ran out of ideas.

Funny but I think that, for the most part, any guy playing Diablo 3 will drop his drawers if a naked chick entered the room! Or cry, I also see that as a possibility, lol.

Occams electric toothbrush

@The Virgin Queen That's a lesson one doesn't soon forget.

Fearzone

No, you got that wrong. The free vibrator is for Diablo 3 *PLAYERS* and it says "ActiBlizzard" on it. Directions are to insert in mouth or anus without lubricant.

Chi

To bad I don't have a selfish significant other, or Diablo III, I could use a new toy. oh well real sex will have to do.

Script

This week on Fox News

Game of the devil makes gamers gay, girlfriends lonely

Faux Furry

So...they're giving away rumble-feature equipped joysticks that are incompatible with any game other than Solitaire?
Oh well, one gets what one pays for.

KingSigy

Wow, um....Okay. That's definitely something.

Chris Carter

My wife plays with me :D

Mr Andy Dixon

I have a vibrating cock ring. True story. Pinches my shaft so hard I can't even get enough blood to my dick to really enjoy it.

The more you know.

THEhambugl3r

This is sexist. What about the handsexuals?

bassbeast

My wife bought this. Does this mean I get a free Fleshlight?

Isay Isay

*flick**flick**flick* while they *click**click**click*

Confuseddalek

So the latest Lollipop Chainsaw parody video ticks off the D-Toid community, yet this is ok?

Blatant

@Flamingboar

Maybe because this has no affiliation with Blizzard? There is a strip club where I live that give free admission to those that purchase tickets to sporting events, concerts, etc. That does not mean that those events support the strip club's policy.

MattEdWithCheese

@Flamingboar I'm assuming that most people's grievances with the Lolipop Chainsaw video are that it was potentially objectifying or demeaning to women (even though that was the point of the joke.)

This, on the other hand is about a sales promotion, giving sex toys to ignored and frustrated girlfriends which would more likely empower a woman. I fail to see your point…

TehTonyM

Fuck it, if it's free it's for me.

Too bad it's not a fleshlight though.

Sepheim

I fucking wish I had Diablo III so I could get to force a free vibrator into my anus.

youngskeletor

@Andydixon - Mine makes my dick look like the neck of a steroid freak. Pre-bench press.

Spaz

You know I think a more interesting question has to be asked, how did Jim stumble upon this little discovery of his XD.

Gamegodtre

are you giving one to Holmes jim?

xOMG KITTEHx

Methinks we should get a review of the vibrator.

The Amazing Shenazin

buzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz buzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz buzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz *squirts*

arkane9

There's a surprisingly large number of people who have posted a picture of themselves on Absoloo's Facebook page.
Lesson: Whatever it is, if you give something out for free, people will want it, even if it means embarrassing yourself in front of your friends and family.

psycho terror2

surely no diablo III player has a significant other...

*rimshot*

Morty

@psycho
Some do.

*rimjob*