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PICTURED ABOVE: Rev Anthony's "The Princess is a Cockteasing Bitch"

The definitive sexually frustrated Super Mario Brothers gamer shirt.  If you don't understand why the princess is a cockteasing bitch, please refer to Sympathy for the Bowser.

Grab it today from SplitReason for $14.95 or get the free wallpaper. Both were created by a Dtoid community member.  100% of the profits will be split between him and Rev Anthony, because they rule. Also available in the Dtoid store... 

Destructoid @ SplitReason - Stickers, beanies, and our Dtoid logo shirts

 

We fought to keep everything relatively cheap and printed on high quality material -- nearly everything is made with delicious American Apparrel 100% cotton and are impervious to suspicious translucent stains after a good wash.

FREE Dtoid sticker with every order!  

In all seriousness, we also wanted to create an opportunity for designers to make cool Destructoid stuff and get paid for their work, so that's exactly what we've done.  Proceeds from the sales go directly to cocks you probably already know: Hushgush, Ron Workman, Marques, UrbanRetro, and yours truly. Destructoid also refuses to support a starving model's coffee/lettuce/cocaine habits, so send us your action shots (outdoor preferred) and we'll add them in a gallery to this story.

We hope to introduce a new design each month, so keep those ideas coming.  Send concepts to niero@destructoid.com  Feedback?  Suggestions?  O RLY?  Let us know!

SEND US YOUR ACTION SHOTS! 

As long as we can't see your genitals we'll add you to the gallery below:

 


 

 


LAUNCH GALLERY (21 IMAGES)
Photo Photo Photo Photo Photo Photo Photo Photo Photo Photo Photo Photo Photo Photo Photo Photo Photo Photo Photo Photo Photo
 

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next 50 comments

139 comments | showing # 1 to 50

mrdurden4's Avatar - Comment posted on 07/17/2007 16:36
mrdurden4
i am only buying a shirt because dtoid is a bad ass playboy.

i would love to advertise for you!
Pangloss's Avatar - Comment posted on 07/17/2007 16:38
Pangloss
This is win. I am so getting a beanie.
Pangloss's Avatar - Comment posted on 07/17/2007 16:40
Pangloss
Also, I can't seem to find Destructoid-brand condoms on either of these sites. What gives?
BluDesign's Avatar - Comment posted on 07/17/2007 16:40
BluDesign
slick.

I'm ordering one tonight.
Sheir's Avatar - Comment posted on 07/17/2007 16:40
Sheir
This is awesome. Too awesome.
mad cow's Avatar - Comment posted on 07/17/2007 16:40
mad cow

Me likey the DTOID Guns t-shirt.
BluDesign's Avatar - Comment posted on 07/17/2007 16:41
BluDesign
bonus points for supporting fat people sizes.
Justice's Avatar - Comment posted on 07/17/2007 16:43
Justice
Yeah that gun tshirt design is SW33T!
Gemsi's Avatar - Comment posted on 07/17/2007 16:44
Gemsi
Right time to go rob a post office so I can buy me some shirts
tehuberone's Avatar - Comment posted on 07/17/2007 16:44
tehuberone
Yum.
Ambulance-Y's Avatar - Comment posted on 07/17/2007 16:46
Ambulance-Y
pay cell phone bill or dToid shirt?!?!?!?! YARG!!! I HATE THESE HARD DECISIONS!!!!111ONEone
Corncobtacular's Avatar - Comment posted on 07/17/2007 16:49
Corncobtacular
Does that mean Dtoid is finally going to update that "Shop" button at the top of the screen?
Sheir's Avatar - Comment posted on 07/17/2007 16:50
Sheir
Just bought the Gun shirt.
ekoala2002's Avatar - Comment posted on 07/17/2007 16:53
ekoala2002
I have been waiting to get some Dtoid shirts!!!
DJDuffy 's Avatar - Comment posted on 07/17/2007 16:53
DJDuffy
ooh lala! must buy everything....oh and for the last time, it's a toque not a beanie!
AngelsDontBurn's Avatar - Comment posted on 07/17/2007 16:53
AngelsDontBurn
I totally just bought one of everything on the SplitReason site. Hahaha.
jerrt's Avatar - Comment posted on 07/17/2007 16:56
jerrt
i totally came to this post looking for robot head shaped birth control pills. just for grins. i didn't even see 'also cocks' branded condoms. *sad*

when the money situation isn't so tight [due to a quickly approaching vacations] i'll pick me up a shirt. i like you guys and i like shirts. [:
Niero's Avatar - Comment posted on 07/17/2007 16:56
Niero
Thanks so much, I'm always nervous about doing this kind of stuff so I'm glad you like!
Sheir's Avatar - Comment posted on 07/17/2007 16:59
Sheir
This is gonna look sick under my new blazer.
AngelsDontBurn's Avatar - Comment posted on 07/17/2007 16:59
AngelsDontBurn
Niero you're very welcome! I was waiting for this moment! Hahaha. The stuff definitely looks awesome!

My only wish now is a Dtoid hoodie and a cap. :D
Topher Cantler's Avatar - Comment posted on 07/17/2007 17:01
Topher Cantler
I'm saving up for the birth control pills.
Jim Sterling's Avatar - Comment posted on 07/17/2007 17:04
Jim Sterling
I love the guns one. As soon as I have moar cash in the bank, I'll drop some dubloons.
thisissami's Avatar - Comment posted on 07/17/2007 17:12
thisissami
sorry... one question that i've always been meaning to ask...

what exactly does STFUAJPG stand for? i've always assumed it was Shut The Fuck Up You Japanese Role Playing Game, but when closely inspected that obviously doesn't fit...
Topher Cantler's Avatar - Comment posted on 07/17/2007 17:14
Topher Cantler
I wish I had something funny to say like Ron, but in all honesty, I'm using the money to buy a cat laser.

PEOW PEOW PEOW
Ambulance-Y's Avatar - Comment posted on 07/17/2007 17:17
Ambulance-Y
@ jim, don't you get an employee discount??
Justin Villasenor's Avatar - Comment posted on 07/17/2007 17:17
Justin Villasenor
@thisissami

It stands for Shut The Fuck Up And Just Play Games.
ScarCeLLe13's Avatar - Comment posted on 07/17/2007 17:17
ScarCeLLe13
they should make the stickers in bulk packs or like a roll cause the stickers are kinda small

im definitely gonna buy the vintage t shirt tho
Suff0cat's Avatar - Comment posted on 07/17/2007 17:18
Suff0cat
Are these new shirts awesomely soft like the Also Cocks shirt?
Roryzilla's Avatar - Comment posted on 07/17/2007 17:20
Roryzilla
ill see if i can send in a design! I LOVE YOU DTOID.
thisissami's Avatar - Comment posted on 07/17/2007 17:22
thisissami
OH!!!! Thank you TheGoldenDonut!! you have enlightened me!!
GuitarAtomik's Avatar - Comment posted on 07/17/2007 17:23
GuitarAtomik
Marques = Me = STFUAJPG shirt

Internet Famous!!!
Justice's Avatar - Comment posted on 07/17/2007 17:25
Justice
The last two points about the beanie state:

# Tight knit, stretches nicely. Approximately 8.5 inches long.
# One-size-fits-all

Is this some kinda of secksual ninnutendo?
Topher Cantler's Avatar - Comment posted on 07/17/2007 17:27
Topher Cantler
@GuitarAtomik- Awesome shirt, dude!
BahamutZero's Avatar - Comment posted on 07/17/2007 17:27
BahamutZero
thongs niero, thongs. thong th thong thong thong.
king3vbo's Avatar - Comment posted on 07/17/2007 17:30
king3vbo
SHWING!

Time to empty the old wallet
Suff0cat's Avatar - Comment posted on 07/17/2007 17:31
Suff0cat
Softer than Also Cocks? I don't know if my torso is prepared for such a thing.


Only one way to find out.
*orders the gun shirt*
Wedge's Avatar - Comment posted on 07/17/2007 17:33
Wedge
OH MY GOD. I was just thinking about buying a Dtoid shirt to wear at PAX. I hadn't even realized they weren't being readily sold. Until now =O
cbebop007's Avatar - Comment posted on 07/17/2007 17:43
cbebop007
Ooo I want!
Oni's Avatar - Comment posted on 07/17/2007 17:49
Oni
Please please please tell me you're bringing back the Also, Cocks shirt. I want one so bad!

Also, as soon as I get some money from my new job, I am totally buying that faux distressed one. That's fucking slick!
Paddylicious's Avatar - Comment posted on 07/17/2007 17:55
Paddylicious
stfuajpg shirt for me. just ordered one, and if it's even half the quality of that also cocks t-shirt i bought a while ago i will be very pleased :3
zombie_wannabe's Avatar - Comment posted on 07/17/2007 18:04
zombie_wannabe
i finally got a compliment from someone on the street for my also cocks shirts. Made my day.

I will definitely pick up atleast some stickers and plaster them all over town.
DJDuffy 's Avatar - Comment posted on 07/17/2007 18:05
DJDuffy
uhh...girl sizes? DO WANT! *cries* where's the love?!
Niero's Avatar - Comment posted on 07/17/2007 18:06
Niero
The also cocks shirts were American Apparrel just like these, I think you're gonna like. We could have made cheaper itchy polyester shirts but who the fuck wants to wear that? I only buy shirts that still feel good after not showering for days
GrayFox's Avatar - Comment posted on 07/17/2007 18:07
GrayFox
Very, very nice. I especially like the Guns one.
ConsFEARacy's Avatar - Comment posted on 07/17/2007 18:16
ConsFEARacy
YES YES YES!!!!
Demios's Avatar - Comment posted on 07/17/2007 18:26
Demios
Ordered from both sites...Shipping cost more than the shirts combined...Totally worth it.
Nick Chester's Avatar - Comment posted on 07/17/2007 18:50
Nick Chester
These designs are truly amazing. I do not get shirts for free, so I will be ordering at least one. :D
GrayFox's Avatar - Comment posted on 07/17/2007 18:57
GrayFox
The 'Guns' t-shirt was just too nice to pass up, had to get it.
ChrisFurniss's Avatar - Comment posted on 07/17/2007 19:06
ChrisFurniss
oh my crap. that guns shirt is KICK ASS
Faith's Avatar - Comment posted on 07/17/2007 19:11
Faith
yeah where are the girl sizes?
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