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Shocker: Uwe Boll's Postal movie is good photo

Hell has apparently frozen over. Pigs can fly, Clownshoes can write, and Ron Workman has joined the magical realm of Azeroth. Ladies and gentlemen, the rumor brimming all over the interweb is that crapzilla video game film maker Uwe Boll has produced a good film based on Postal, the ultra-violent shooter that takes in all the violence in GTA and coats it with cat feces.  Here's the note:

Rather than continuing to fight his public and online image Boll has decided to embrace it, intentionally elevating the level of absurdity and shlock here to never before seen levels, all in the name of creating one of the most coarse, vulgar and offensive comedies ever put to celluloid.

This seems hard to believe -- especially after the awkward trailer and snipperts we posted a few weeks ago. Nevertheless, the review comes from a trusted indie review source Twitch so I'm inclined to believe it holds some weight. Nevertheless, Destructoid has alterted the FBI and that journalist's financial records are being combed for recent deposits of Deutschmarks and Bloodrayne's panties.

[Via 1-Up] 


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36 comments | showing # 1 to 36

heroclixer87's Avatar
heroclixer87 at 05/04/2007 15:17
Isn't this one of the signs of the apocalypse? EVERYBODY PANIC!
winojesus's Avatar
winojesus at 05/04/2007 15:17
jesus.
is the whole world made up of retards. really? is there anyone out there?
hello?
PappaDukes's Avatar
PappaDukes at 05/04/2007 15:20
HI!
DJDuffy 's Avatar
DJDuffy at 05/04/2007 15:25
Dave Foley frontal nudity??! I gotta go buy a ticket right now! See ya in line, bitchezzzz!
To1kien's Avatar
To1kien at 05/04/2007 15:29
"crapzilla video game film maker Uwe Boll has produced a good film"

I read this, and literally gagged on my sandwich. If this proves to be true, i might have just lost 50 dollars. Crap
Necros's Avatar
Necros at 05/04/2007 15:30
Dear Destructoid,

Well, this is the note. I've decided to end it all. I won't live in a world plagued by such madness, for that's what this is. This is madness.

Sincerely, Necros
Snaileb 's Avatar
Snaileb at 05/04/2007 15:36
"the ultra-violent shooter that takes in all the violence in GTA4 and coats it with cat feces"

Wow Niero, you've already played GTA4? How is it? Pretty violent huh?
Mxyzptlk's Avatar
Mxyzptlk at 05/04/2007 15:38
How much meth did the reviewer take beforehand?
Jerkbutt47's Avatar
Jerkbutt47 at 05/04/2007 15:38
i must see this for myself...
DAMN YOU UWE BOLL!!!!!!!!
Zanch's Avatar
Zanch at 05/04/2007 15:42
I'd like a second opinion, thank you.
Rockvillian's Avatar
Rockvillian at 05/04/2007 15:44
sounds like grade-B anal-expulsive filmmaking to me.
OldschoolVgamer's Avatar
OldschoolVgamer at 05/04/2007 15:45
So someone actually likes the Postal film? Quite interesting...

I have a funny feeling that Uwe Boll has found a formula that actually works and is going to keep doing making films now that he found something that works. My advice: Don't watch the piece of shit!
William Haley's Avatar
William Haley at 05/04/2007 15:46
"...creating one of the most coarse, vulgar and offensive comedies ever put to celluloid."

That in no way sounds like a GOOD review. After all, we're talking about Postal, so even if the movie was good (it isn't) it would still suck.

Uwe Boll has launched an unprovoked personal attack on video gamers the likes of which we haven't seen since 9/11 or Pearl Harbor. If this man was hit by a car in front of me, I would stand there and dance in his arterial spray.

Fuck Uwe Boll.
Jsun's Avatar
Jsun at 05/04/2007 15:56
I bet this movie will be good. The director may suck, but Zack Ward ("Titus") is awesome. Looks funny.
Campbell's Avatar
Campbell at 05/04/2007 15:57
@ Mr. Haley.

True that, man.
Whenever somebody goes ahead and claims that a movie is one of the "most __________ ever", it's usually bullshit.

In this case, it's hard to believe that any movie this day and age can top such schlock-fests as Brain Dead, Evil Dead, Re-Animator, Cannibal Holocaust, Airplane, Pink Flamingos and Bachelor Party, especially one that's directed by the pathetic Uwe Boll.
Niero's Avatar
Niero at 05/04/2007 16:10
I've played every game ever. I also fly around in a magic carpet and charm tigers!

Sorry for the typo :) I'm excited about 4, mental slip!
PiKo's Avatar
PiKo at 05/04/2007 16:19
This is blasphemy! This is madness!
ZeroTolo's Avatar
ZeroTolo at 05/04/2007 16:25
Madness?

THIS..... IS.... DESTRUCTOID!!!!
ZeroTolo's Avatar
ZeroTolo at 05/04/2007 16:27
So yeah... I don't know if anyone watched the clip that the article's author linked, but I have to admit that I laughed at it. I probably won't see it in theaters, and I might not rent it on DVD, but when it hits my on-demand cable in a few years, i'll probably watch it then.
kariomart's Avatar
kariomart at 05/04/2007 16:29
So a crap filmmaker finally realizes he's crap and is now making his movie intentionally crappier? Embracing his incompetence still won't save his film from being another complete waste of celluloid.
Dennen's Avatar
Dennen at 05/04/2007 16:45
I say it's all lies. I refuse to believe that he is capable of making anything that can be considered "good"... To do otherwise... It's just not in my capability.
BahamutZero's Avatar
BahamutZero at 05/04/2007 17:02
yeah I'll believe it when I see it. On acid.
DJDuffy 's Avatar
DJDuffy at 05/04/2007 17:04
Yea Mr. Haley...I know where you are coming from...

Even if it is a "good movie", Boll is still a criminal stealing investor's money left right and center.
ohgr89's Avatar
ohgr89 at 05/04/2007 17:05
I'd rather have the sky crack and have uwe boll make a decent movie then for him to tarnish Postal for the rest of my life.
jimjo's Avatar
jimjo at 05/04/2007 17:41
there are lots of movies that are so horrible there awsome so its not hard to believe.Terror Firmer anyone?
jimjo's Avatar
jimjo at 05/04/2007 17:41
*eh... awesome
Knives's Avatar
Knives at 05/04/2007 18:02
Eso no hace make sense!!
king3vbo's Avatar
king3vbo at 05/04/2007 18:04
This movie will be the epitome of Shitty Movie Night
kariomart's Avatar
kariomart at 05/04/2007 18:34
Actually Bahamut, that's sounds like a good idea. Make it happen!
Rezbit's Avatar
Rezbit at 05/04/2007 21:56
"That's not true! THAT'S IMPOSSIBLE!!!"

"Search your feelings...you know it to be true..."
Roryzilla's Avatar
Roryzilla at 05/05/2007 00:18
thank you king3vbo,you took the words out of my mouth
Oninusar's Avatar
Oninusar at 05/05/2007 01:07
i don't know what to say, im in absolute disbelief. if this is true then Postal 3 is going to have a HUGE fan following, and i owe my friend some money :(
neshill's Avatar
neshill at 05/05/2007 06:36
Well my main criticism of the postal 2 game can't really apply to the movie: it loaded really, really slow.
Ndizi's Avatar
Ndizi at 05/05/2007 11:52
Uwe Boll just became my hero
The-Excel's Avatar
The-Excel at 05/05/2007 15:12
Postal is a comedy?
Im OK's Avatar
Im OK at 05/06/2007 12:39
Well, as long as he keeps making shitty movies that I'll never watch about shitty games that I'll never play, and doesn't come within a hundred yards of an actual good IP, like MGS or something, he can do whatever he wants. Good thing that there are at least some people out there who care enough about their IP to keep Uwe the fuck away from it.
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