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Shadowrun: now with 20 percent more superlatives

12:30 AM on 04.05.2007 // Earnest Cavalli

Shadowrun is an upcoming multiplatform release for the Xbox 360 and Windows PCs that will allow online play bridging the two disparate platforms. We can all agree on that, right? Good. Now that that's settled, I want to make a list of things that Shadowrun is not:

Shadowrun is not that pretty girl who never called you back after one date even though you thought there was a really special connection there.

Shadowrun is not liquid gold in the form of two beautiful twins willing to submit to your every fantasy.

Shadowrun is not the second coming of a Christ-like figure who shoots rainbows from his eyes and buys you a puppy every time you have a bad day.

Shadowrun is not the ultimate usurper of Counterstrike's claim to the "most-played online FPS of all time".

Then again, according to this article on UGO, I'm apparently totally wrong. While I support the use of superlatives and (confusingly complex swears), the following statement from their preview only shows that it's very possible to type coherently with one hand while giving handjobs to development teams with the other;

Shadowrun is definitely looking to usurp the enduringly popular Counter-Strike, especially when you consider the fact that it will in fact be the first game to offer cross-platform PC and Xbox 360 play. And the way things look right now, it could possibly do just that.

We appreciate their use of non-committal terms like "possibly", "looking to" and "the", but comparing an unreleased title to a game that uses more bandwidth on a daily basis than Skynet and Bram Cohen combined, is tantamount to comparing oranges to other, really sexy oranges that shun the first oranges for having terrible skin and being bad at sports; it's just not done.

 




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Earnest Cavalli, Contributor
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I'm Nex. I used to work here but my love of cash led me to take a gig with Wired. I still keep an eye on the 'toid, but to see what I'm really up to, you should either hit up my Vox or go have ... more   |   staff directory

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