I'm here in bloody hot Dallas where the sun is shining and the aroma of geeky nerds clings to the walls of the Westin Hotel like Tupac fans cling to the notion that he is still alive. It's day one of the ScrewAttack Gaming Convention and already I saw Stuttering Craig walk past me. I think he pretended not to notice me, but I will find him again and make him give me a job as their new Yahtzee. I think it's Yahtzee that does ScrewAttack, right?

Here are some photos from early on today, giving you a brief idea of what things looked like before all the fourteen-year-olds registered and filled the place up with their curly hair and the undeniable stink of wet dreams. There'll be plenty of fun to come from SCG, including our shakily recorded footage of a bit of the cartridge-blowing competition and a photograph of me with a very special celebrity.