Note: iOS 9 + Facebook users w/ trouble scrolling: #super sorry# we hope to fix it asap. In the meantime Chrome Mobile is a reach around
hot  /  reviews  /  videos  /  cblogs  /  qposts

Sexy Time! God of War II

3:00 PM on 07.06.2009 // Conrad Zimmerman
  @ConradZimmerman

[Sexy Time! is a regular series where we take a look at some of the more, shall we say, erotic aspects of video games. It also gives us a reason to post images such as the above. You're welcome.]

Sex has been a part of legend, lore and religion as far back as... well, as far back as there have even been such things. Few cultures in history have gained more note for mythical shagging than the ancient Greeks. Their pantheon of Gods is positively full of lascivious relationships and you can barely read one of their myths without somebody getting down.

Why should videogames rooted in Greek mythology be any different? If we're talking about God of War, they aren't. Kratos' loins have seen action in every major installment of the series to date. His escapades and the style in which they are presented to the player verge on being a trademark. None has been more over-the-top naughty than his threesome with a pair of bathing beauties in Rhodes in the opening level of God of War II.

In the wake of the "Hot Coffee" scandal surrounding Grand Theft Auto: San Andreas, it's easy to see how God of War's more subtle sexual conquest was overlooked by the media. Compared to the upfront nature present in the modified GTA, cutting away to a wobbly vase with animalistic grunts and moans in the background seemed almost tasteful.

Perhaps it was the success found at slipping under the radar that emboldened the designers responsible for the follow-up. Everything about God of War II was bigger, grander and more graphic than that which came before and the sex mini-game in this sequel is no exception. While the same cut-away tactic was used to avoid the backlash which would have inevitably resulted, taste goes right out the window as we see a fountain in the form of a urinating boy positively erupt at the climax.

The structure of the minigame is simple and representative of many of the tasks found in these games. They're quicktime-events, the same used to conquer any other overwhelming challenge Kratos comes across. By successfully completing the presented sequence of commands, the player receives more than mere tittilation by earning red orbs, the items by which Kratos can improve his skills and more easily meet later challenges.

Which leads to an interesting perspective that can be found in a minigame which is tailored in the way these are. Even if you fail, there is still some level of reward in the form of the charming animation and erotic background noises. But it's a hollow accomplishment and one barely worth more than a laugh. Putting forth the effort necessary to actually succeed in the act (however simplified it may be in this case) can produce something far more tangible.

We can't say for certain if God of War III will feature another penetrating look at the sex lives of Greek Gods. It does seem fairly likely, however, that we'll get to take another stab at demonstrating Kratos' prowess. The question is, how far will Sony take it next?



Conrad Zimmerman, Moustache
 Follow Blog + disclosure ConradZimmerman Tips
An avid player of tabletop and video games throughout his life, Conrad has a passion for unique design mechanics and is a nut for gaming history. He can be heard on the comedy podcast () and str... more   |   staff directory



 Setup email comments

Unsavory comments? Please report harassment, spam, and hate speech to our community fisters, and flag the user (we will ban users dishing bad karma). Can't see comments? Apps like Avast or browser extensions can cause it. You can fix it by adding *.disqus.com to your whitelists.

 Quickposts
Status updates from C-bloggers

TysonOfTime avatarTysonOfTime
Uncontrollable with slightly less Engrish.
Scrustle avatarScrustle
Hachi Roku is my waifu.
Occams avatarOccams
#Darksiders2
ikiryou avatarikiryou
Finally getting around to cataloging all the intergalactic-level augments I want to use for post-game Tyrant killing in XCX. The grind feels more substantial than Monster Hunter but then again there are no four-story-high monsters in MH.
Pixie The Fairy avatarPixie The Fairy
Your waifu is poop. The Ultimate Waifu agrees.
mrandydixon avatarmrandydixon
Boner.
Kaio Da Silva Queiros avatarKaio Da Silva Queiros
Kaio Da Silva Queiros avatarKaio Da Silva Queiros
GoofierBrute avatarGoofierBrute
So due to things at my job picking up and bunch of real life stuff, I don't think I'll be able to give my Waifu Wars blog the love and attention it needs. Still, I don't think I need to remind you guys who best waifu is, but just in case you forgot.
Jiraya avatarJiraya
Nurse Joy is watching your Waifu quick posts
RenaudB90 avatarRenaudB90
Happy belated 30th anniversary!
LaTerry avatarLaTerry
Playstation Universe obviously taking notes from Destructoid. http://www.psu.com/news/29381/Enter-PSUs-Nitroplus-Blasterz-Whos-Your-Waifu-contest
TheBlondeBass avatarTheBlondeBass
I said I'm sorry Linkslaya, I never meant to hurt ya, I never meant to make you cry But today, someone else brought PM up (in the discord chat)
Nathan D avatarNathan D
Waifus. Waifus everywhere. I want them all, but I won't dare. nya
Torchman avatarTorchman
THE TRUTH BOMBSHELLS ARE DROPPING FOLKS. OH MY LORD, GAJ'S SUPPOSED LOVE FOR NAOTO IS ALL A LIE
El Dango avatarEl Dango
For the next Assassin's Creed, they should completely overhaul the gameplay and base it on the latest Splinter Cells. Stealth, climbing and action would all be massively improved that way.
Jiraya avatarJiraya
I come to remind you all , that these tights are ever vigilant , Best Waifu is watching YOU
Torchman avatarTorchman
YOUR WAIFU IS AS GARBAGE AS ZELDA IN COMPETITIVE SMASH 4.
SayWord avatarSayWord
So I am totally in love with adult Nep Nep. New Waifu approaching...
Brazen Head avatarBrazen Head
When does Undertale get "Interesting"? Played for 2-3 hours, having fun, but failing to see what it does that's so utterly amazing.
more quickposts


Contest!


Seriously

Invert site colors

  Dark Theme
  Light Theme


Destructoid means family.
Living the dream, since 2006

Pssst. konami code + enter

modernmethod logo



Back to Top


We follow moms on   Facebook  and   Twitter
  Light Theme      Dark Theme
Pssst. Konami Code + Enter!
You may remix stuff our site under creative commons w/@
- Destructoid means family. Living the dream, since 2006 -