hot  /  reviews  /  videos  /  cblogs  /  qposts

Sexy Time! God of War II

3:00 PM on 07.06.2009 // Conrad Zimmerman
  @ConradZimmerman

[Sexy Time! is a regular series where we take a look at some of the more, shall we say, erotic aspects of video games. It also gives us a reason to post images such as the above. You're welcome.]

Sex has been a part of legend, lore and religion as far back as... well, as far back as there have even been such things. Few cultures in history have gained more note for mythical shagging than the ancient Greeks. Their pantheon of Gods is positively full of lascivious relationships and you can barely read one of their myths without somebody getting down.

Why should videogames rooted in Greek mythology be any different? If we're talking about God of War, they aren't. Kratos' loins have seen action in every major installment of the series to date. His escapades and the style in which they are presented to the player verge on being a trademark. None has been more over-the-top naughty than his threesome with a pair of bathing beauties in Rhodes in the opening level of God of War II.

In the wake of the "Hot Coffee" scandal surrounding Grand Theft Auto: San Andreas, it's easy to see how God of War's more subtle sexual conquest was overlooked by the media. Compared to the upfront nature present in the modified GTA, cutting away to a wobbly vase with animalistic grunts and moans in the background seemed almost tasteful.

Perhaps it was the success found at slipping under the radar that emboldened the designers responsible for the follow-up. Everything about God of War II was bigger, grander and more graphic than that which came before and the sex mini-game in this sequel is no exception. While the same cut-away tactic was used to avoid the backlash which would have inevitably resulted, taste goes right out the window as we see a fountain in the form of a urinating boy positively erupt at the climax.

The structure of the minigame is simple and representative of many of the tasks found in these games. They're quicktime-events, the same used to conquer any other overwhelming challenge Kratos comes across. By successfully completing the presented sequence of commands, the player receives more than mere tittilation by earning red orbs, the items by which Kratos can improve his skills and more easily meet later challenges.

Which leads to an interesting perspective that can be found in a minigame which is tailored in the way these are. Even if you fail, there is still some level of reward in the form of the charming animation and erotic background noises. But it's a hollow accomplishment and one barely worth more than a laugh. Putting forth the effort necessary to actually succeed in the act (however simplified it may be in this case) can produce something far more tangible.

We can't say for certain if God of War III will feature another penetrating look at the sex lives of Greek Gods. It does seem fairly likely, however, that we'll get to take another stab at demonstrating Kratos' prowess. The question is, how far will Sony take it next?



Conrad Zimmerman, Moustache
 Follow Blog + disclosure ConradZimmerman Tips
An avid player of tabletop and video games throughout his life, Conrad has a passion for unique design mechanics and is a nut for gaming history. He can be heard on the comedy podcast () and str... more   |   staff directory

 Setup email comments

Unsavory comments? Please report harassment, spam, and hate speech to our moderators, and flag the user (we will ban users dishing bad karma). Can't see comments? Apps like Avast or browser extensions can cause it. You can fix it by adding *.disqus.com to your whitelists.

 Quickposts
Status updates from C-bloggers

ooktar avatarooktar
Defeated a sniper in MGS V by dropping supplies on his head. 10/10.
Nat Monney avatarNat Monney
I'm with 3 other guys and we're about to release a mobile game we started almost 3 years ago. What should we do ? [youtube]https://youtu.be/5EGPUBZCGwo[/youtube]
FlanxLycanth avatarFlanxLycanth
Guys I'm on a train what should I do?
Pixie The Fairy avatarPixie The Fairy
Traded in a bunch of old Star Trek novels and other books at a used bookstore. Made $10 and got Tori Amos' "Strange Little Girls" album along with it. They made me take the William Shatner novels back. Smart clerks.
OverlordZetta avatarOverlordZetta
Can this be Toy Story 4? [youtube]https://youtu.be/XJkZX0rKElY[/youtube]
Gamemaniac3434 avatarGamemaniac3434
Also I will be reviewing freedom wars. I didnt make it to the end. I will not be kind to it. There will be blood.
Gamemaniac3434 avatarGamemaniac3434
Yeah....been there before.
techsupport avatartechsupport
MGS V review: When using a character other than Big Boss for missions, the intro credits still say, "starring Punished 'Venom' Snake." Sloppy work, Kojima - no wonder Konami dumped you. 0/10.
Gamemaniac3434 avatarGamemaniac3434
Grim Fandango......some real good sruff here. As soon as I complete it (vita version, of course) will probably see about a write up. Not perfect, but theres some good stuff here. Glad it got brought back from obsolescence hell.
Rad Party God avatarRad Party God
*sigh* If only Disqus had a "block/ignore user" option :/
VIRGO avatarVIRGO
Must. Use. This. Blog. More. But. School.
GoofierBrute avatarGoofierBrute
Just started playing Hyrule Warriors again. Man is that game fun. A bit mindless at times granted, but fun nonetheless.
RadicalYoseph avatarRadicalYoseph
I ate vanilla ice cream and didn't put on any chocolate syrup. Now wondering if that was racist whitewashing #thanksjed.
Jiraya avatarJiraya
The cat dragged in some action figures !
[img]http://i.imgur.com/6Cu2Asg.jpg[/img] [img]http://i.imgur.com/qMFDAw3.jpg[/img] [img]http://i.imgur.com/RPUraY8.jpg[/img] [img]http://i.imgur.com/51DLqjh.jpg[/img]
Dr Mel avatarDr Mel
There's a Custom Soundtrack folder in MGSV. I can't think of a better thing to put there than the old episodes of podtoid I've been running through lately. I'll be fultoning guys and Holmes will be puttin' on mesh tank tops. Perfect.
Shinta avatarShinta
MGSV Pro Tip: Turn your brightness down to 0. It actually makes the view distance for the guards correct, and doesn't make nighttime the best option for you every single time. When guards shoot flares in the sky, the lighting looks like Dragon's Dogma.
Pixie The Fairy avatarPixie The Fairy
Proof I listened to too much Weird Al growing up: I really do hear "Living in America" as "Living with a Hernia."
Nic Rowen avatarNic Rowen
I've been playing a shit ton of Heroes of the Storm recently. It's my first MOBA and I'm SHOCKED at how much fun I'm having. Anyone else into it? Would love to get some games in with Dtoiders.
Script avatarScript
I would wait for a chance to play the game by myself, but I just have to know. Is David Hayter in MGS V in any way? Please no spoilers.
Rad Party God avatarRad Party God
Guys, serious question... How can I make D-Horse to poop?
more quickposts


Contest!


Seriously

Invert site colors

  Dark Theme
  Light Theme


Destructoid means family.
Living the dream, since 2006

Pssst. konami code + enter

modernmethod logo



Back to Top


We follow moms on   Facebook  and   Twitter
  Light Theme      Dark Theme
Pssst. Konami Code + Enter!
You may remix stuff our site under creative commons w/@
- Destructoid means family. Living the dream, since 2006 -