Note: iOS 9 + Facebook users w/ trouble scrolling: #super sorry# we hope to fix it asap. In the meantime Chrome Mobile is a reach around
hot  /  reviews  /  videos  /  cblogs  /  qposts

Sex and Video Games: What WOMEN Want
A Destructoid Special Report (part 2 of 3)

7:35 AM on 06.13.2006 // Niero Desu

sex video game.jpg

dreamstripper.jpg Download Dream Stripper
Yesterday we learned that men's agenda for sex in video games can pretty much be summed up by "more realistic gyrating vaginas". Ok ladies, it's your turn. Bring forth your most vocal mind to speak for the entire gamer girl population around the world. What games would women rather be playing, or have us playing with them? Is Mario not cute enough?!! What would you like men to understand as we look to design games for you so that you can spend more time on the sofa with us instead of having to lie, cheat, steal, burn your spa down? LapisScreen.jpg Speaking on behalf of women is game designer and uteri-compatible Heather Kelley (not Kelly, got it!) from Ubisoft (Montreal, ay?) who got sick and tired of guy-designed games that totally missed the point (NES Barbie anyone?) and did her own thing. Finally at long last, male game designers everyone can learn what women really want... along with a Playable Demo! Lapis is a Nintendo DS game that secretly teaches players techniques of female sexual gratification (namely men, whom I believe are the only ones who have this problem from videos I've, um, *heard about* with horses and dogs). Labia Lapis Lust played by helping adorable rabbit-like creatures fly through beautiful environments (Georgia O'keefe would be proud). The creatures are analogous to female erogenous zones, and by making the creatures happy -- petting them on the ears, tickling them on the nose, putting them in a good environment, singing to them, etc, you can fly through gorgeous fantasy environments and so take each creature to its "happy place," one might say. :) In the process of learning what kinds of stimuli these creatures like, the player would learn techniques of female sexual pleasure, though that wouldn't be obvious or even mentioned as a game goal. The idea was to make the game's style and gameplay appealing to a wide variety of females. So, the actions are sensual in nature, and the rhythm of play is akin to sexual pleasure and orgasm, but the gameplay itself does not depict sex. Concept Demo Controls: * Use arrow keys to rotate the bunny-creature and get a good angle on the nose or the tail (bug: some angles don't work, so try rotating further) * Using the mouse, point and click on the nose or tail in the bottom screen (the touch screen) to start flying (in the actual game, you would need to use the DS stylus or the microphone to discover what type of stimulation matches the bunny's individual response patterns) * Try to fly all the way up to the Fireworks and achieve Pure Lapiness! TeapotLevel.jpg Here's an image taken from the demo. In the bottom screen is the touchable bunny, and in the top, the camera flies upwards passing different "levels" of play equating to arousal. This, of course, is the Teapot level. It isn't representative of an actual game, but gives you a sense of the overall creative direction for the concept. So there you have it. We had it all wrong all these years. So take note and listen up men!!! What did we learn?

When Rockstar announces the next city in Grand Theft Auto, we must (A) urge them to shape it in the form of an abstract vagina and (B) ask that all the mission objectives be placed around the upper middle of the map.

Download Heather Kelley's Lapis here and learn something. All jokes aside the game design is extremely well thought out and is built on a mountain of research, check out her presentation here. It's not clear from the presentation or conference web site if women actually really liked this game or not, so I encourage our girl gamers to give it a spin (you can play it on the web browser) and let us know if she hit the g-spot with this concept or if we need to wait for the japanese to figure it out for us. * * * spicy1258-1142.jpg Don't miss part 3 of our special video game sex report, where we show you what the gaming community can do with the right tools and furiously determined boners.

Niero Desu, Blogsmith
 Follow Blog + disclosure destructoid Tips
I host Destructoid for a living. Here's a photo of me at work:  more   |   staff directory

 Setup email comments

Unsavory comments? Please report harassment, spam, and hate speech to our community fisters, and flag the user (we will ban users dishing bad karma). Can't see comments? Apps like Avast or browser extensions can cause it. You can fix it by adding * to your whitelists.

Status updates from C-bloggers

ikiryou avatarikiryou
I want Just Cause 2 and Metal Gear Solid V + Peace Walker to fornicate together so we can have a beautiful big open world to blow up and/or fulton. Then I want to build an infinitely-sized base of soldiers, each with their own personalities and stats.
FlanxLycanth avatarFlanxLycanth
When SFV drops next year we gotta get some DTOID noob battles on, practice with online lag with friends, be really bad casuals together. We can call it Kanye Night Fights. #Swerve on FNF (just kidding...maybe).
Solar Pony Django avatarSolar Pony Django
So someone messaged me on a Lightning fast, comment board that bow they're super depressed. And I worry for them now. Because a comment board is not something to get depressed over, just because someone disagrees with you if your an ass, people will be 2.
arkane9 avatararkane9
Guys, a sequel to Retro City Rampage: Shakedown Hawaii! Someone should really write about it. Lots of Dtoid staff were in the RCR after all.
FlanxLycanth avatarFlanxLycanth
Fuck racism man, shit ain't fair. Can't stand it and I shouldn't have to. Nobody should.
Robo Panda Z avatarRobo Panda Z
Embedded pictures in Quickposts seem to be broken for me right now.
Flegma avatarFlegma
To my surprise, I've more or less figured out Rodea Wii U controls. Still a different game from the Wii version, but not as decidedly inferior in my eyes. Did the legacy medals do anything in Wii version?
RadicalYoseph avatarRadicalYoseph
"Am I a kid, or a squid?" I ponder as I stare off into the horizon. A wise man once told me "Son, you can be whatever you want to be. You are only limited by your lack of ambition " And I want to be a squid. A squid now.
Parismio avatarParismio
Captain America: Civil War trailer dropped!: [youtube][/youtube]
lewness avatarlewness
Gah, wanna go Alexander farming but The Old Hunters ;_;
BaronVonSnakPak avatarBaronVonSnakPak
Holy shit, Splatoon is addictive.
Pixie The Fairy avatarPixie The Fairy
Duck Hunt was a trickier unlock than I expected. Jigglypuff, you are next on my list! [img][/img]
Nekrosys avatarNekrosys
Yay, this arrived today. Nekro is quite happy, as he's been looking forward to playing this game for a while. [IMG][/IMG]
Gamemaniac3434 avatarGamemaniac3434
Dtoid mobile has apparently broken again. This is it. This how the dtoid ends. *black hole opens, dtoid disappears*
Amna Umen avatarAmna Umen
Gave Ronin one more chance before I chucked it in the "never to be finished" pile, glad I did. It could have been so much better but as a frustrating time waster it's not bad.
StriderHoang avatarStriderHoang
I'm sitting on the Fapcast's most recent recording. I just feel like I need a day for myself after, you know, freaking out about rent.
SeymourDuncan17 avatarSeymourDuncan17
Why is every Quickpost now spaced out like poems with random amounts of stanzas that never ever rhyme?
RadicalYoseph avatarRadicalYoseph
Was anybody else here extremely disappointed by the ending of Assassin's Creed 2?
Parismio avatarParismio
Just tried Fallout 4 on my PC Via my Cousins steam account and nope, it does not run for me very well. Buying the PS4 version it is!
OrochiLeona avatarOrochiLeona
You know who never took any shit from anybody? Dr. Blight.
more quickposts



Invert site colors

  Dark Theme
  Light Theme

Destructoid means family.
Living the dream, since 2006

Pssst. konami code + enter

modernmethod logo

Back to Top

We follow moms on   Facebook  and   Twitter
  Light Theme      Dark Theme
Pssst. Konami Code + Enter!
You may remix stuff our site under creative commons w/@
- Destructoid means family. Living the dream, since 2006 -