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Senator determined to find rape in GTA IV, even though there isn't any photo

We always knew that these anti-game wing nuts were looking for problems that weren't there, but never has that idea been so literal. Connecticut State Senator Gayle Slossberg is currently searching as hard as she can for the rape scene in Grand Theft Auto IV, and isn't about to let the fact that no such scene exists stop her:

[Sen. Slossberg] wants confirmation of the rumored rape scene in Grand Theft Auto IV—but she can't reach that level of the game. The Milford state senator's never played GTA, but she fears it's corrupting the youth and thinks a law requiring better warning labels might be the fix. She told the Nose as much at a Capitol press conference last week...

Slossberg hints she'll... introduce legislation next session calling for clearer labeling of depraved video games like Grand Theft Auto...  Slossberg's a bit unsure of how the warning labels might read: "I mean what would it say? 'This game will make you a sociopath'?"

Well, the stupid woman is going to be waiting a long time for her confirmation, considering there isn't any rape in GTA IV. I'd burst into my usual vitriolic outrage at this story, but I'm too busy sniggering bitterly at this imbecilic wench to do so. If ever there was a true snapshot of the idiocy of anti-game lunatics, this would be it -- an out-of-touch politician trying to play a videogame in the hope that she might see some of the rape she heard about.

Says it all, really.


Continue: More Rape Festival stories





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41 comments | showing # 1 to 41

Niero's Avatar - Comment posted on 06/25/2008 13:39
Niero
There's also rape in Heavy Metal music! And satan! Satan is in there somewhere.
BS3 Owner's Avatar - Comment posted on 06/25/2008 13:41
BS3 Owner
Makes me feel better about my american government...

Either their all a hungry rabid pack of wolves or...
They are all Schizo or...

ALL of the above with nothing else to do... DUH!
eternalplayer2345's Avatar - Comment posted on 06/25/2008 13:41
eternalplayer2345
God help us if she finds the pedophile website. God help us all.
BS3 Owner's Avatar - Comment posted on 06/25/2008 13:43
BS3 Owner
@ eternalplayer

Most likely she's just as ignorant as her with hunting intelligence seems to be flawed.
pendelton21's Avatar - Comment posted on 06/25/2008 13:44
pendelton21
Oh, for the love of...
Spartacus's Avatar - Comment posted on 06/25/2008 14:00
Spartacus
Maybe someone should tell her.
Slick Icarus's Avatar - Comment posted on 06/25/2008 14:04
Slick Icarus
Looks like good ol' JT has a new playmate.
Justice's Avatar - Comment posted on 06/25/2008 14:04
Justice
Poor lady, she's on a journey that will never end.

GTA having levels. HA!
Clockwork's Avatar - Comment posted on 06/25/2008 14:09
Clockwork
Haha. Just gotta reach that Rape Level! Yeah!
Verol's Avatar - Comment posted on 06/25/2008 14:10
Verol
Lawl girls playing games?

She knows she's breaking a cardinal law of nature doesn't she?


I went an entire post about a women without asking how she left the kitchen. For once.
Sam Spectre's Avatar - Comment posted on 06/25/2008 14:12
Sam Spectre
Bet she can't get 100% completion...
galagabug 's Avatar - Comment posted on 06/25/2008 14:13
galagabug
so apparently becoming a politician is the newest way to get paid to play games, you don't even have to deal with buggy betas.
Tubatic's Avatar - Comment posted on 06/25/2008 14:16
Tubatic
Looks guys, just because we can't see the rape doesn't mean someone with certain cultural background and life experiences doesn't . . . aw wait, sorry guys. Wrong controversy . . .
Milkman519's Avatar - Comment posted on 06/25/2008 14:21
Milkman519
Haha. She sucks at GTA.
Pepillou2's Avatar - Comment posted on 06/25/2008 14:22
Pepillou2
LEAVE SEN. SLOSSBERG ALONE!!!! SHE'S A HUMAN!!!
A human who wants to play GTA IV.
-PL-'s Avatar - Comment posted on 06/25/2008 14:22
-PL-
I bet she'll just knock a woman over with the Euphoriaâ„¢ physics, and then make Niko crouch up and down on her. Then she'll giggle like a twelve year old boy and type "pWn3d" on her Xbox360 controller keypad.

And indeed, we would be owned.
4knuckleshuffle's Avatar - Comment posted on 06/25/2008 14:28
4knuckleshuffle
She must be playing a different one. The rape is in 5.
Electro Lemon's Avatar - Comment posted on 06/25/2008 14:31
Electro Lemon
Hey, Rowan Atkinson once went on a similar type of chase with Breckin Meyer, Amy Smart, and that guy with the mustache from Monty Python!


Senator: LOOK! LOOK! RAPE! I'm walking into this girl and she's standing there! RAPE!
kagai's Avatar - Comment posted on 06/25/2008 14:33
kagai
Apparently she has a fetish.
Faceless's Avatar - Comment posted on 06/25/2008 14:48
Faceless
Obviously she's right guys, I mean a version of GTA IV from a parallel universe could easily have a rape scene. She may never find this bizarro GTA, but your children might. Are you willing to take that chance? Terrorist.
Sharpless's Avatar - Comment posted on 06/25/2008 14:52
Sharpless
Maybe if she wishes hard enough, it'll happen.
MaximusPaynicus's Avatar - Comment posted on 06/25/2008 14:56
MaximusPaynicus
Sounds like somebody needs to get laid.
Corak's Avatar - Comment posted on 06/25/2008 15:10
Corak
American tax dollars hard at work right here. Pay no mind to our slipping economy, the weak dollar, housing crysis, crime, the war in Iraq, or the upcoming election, this right here is where the real issues are. Yup its them thare videgames that are the cause of all our troubles.
mistic's Avatar - Comment posted on 06/25/2008 15:25
mistic
Wench!

luckily we don't have to pay for that c*nt :p
Cyberxion's Avatar - Comment posted on 06/25/2008 16:02
Cyberxion
@ Corak

You're so right, and it depresses the shit out of me.
mix's Avatar - Comment posted on 06/25/2008 16:19
mix
You don't really have to unlock it as it's in the options under "secret rape level".
B-Radicate's Avatar - Comment posted on 06/25/2008 16:27
B-Radicate
Is she talking about the raping of the franchise Rockstar managed when they took out everything that made the series fun in the first place? 'Cause that shit's frighteningly apparent the moment you get more than 5 hours through the game.

Zing.
Lithium's Avatar - Comment posted on 06/25/2008 16:28
Lithium
At least she's actually playing the game, who knows: she might become hooked!
Milkman519's Avatar - Comment posted on 06/25/2008 16:49
Milkman519
@B-Radicate
Wrong...
RAB's Avatar - Comment posted on 06/25/2008 17:31
RAB
YAH I ONLI GAWT TO LEVEL 6 DEN I GOT BOARD AND STARTED PLAYN WITH HALOZ
the GAMEGOBLIN's Avatar - Comment posted on 06/25/2008 17:40
the GAMEGOBLIN
OH SHIT I'M NEXT TO BE BANNED
DaedHead8's Avatar - Comment posted on 06/25/2008 18:07
DaedHead8
Looking for rape in GTA? Thats like looking for stupidity in politics! Oh wait...
Elandarex's Avatar - Comment posted on 06/25/2008 18:47
Elandarex
Why can't we go back to the days of blaming our moral decline on Dungeons & Dragons? Those were fun days I am sure. Not to mention the attacks made on D&D were probably less embarrassing than the ones made on gaming today...

Wait, no. Sorry politicians, you were and likely always will be dumb as rocks. Am I the only one who feels sorry for these underprivileged political tools who weren't gifted with a capacity for rational thought? Maybe we should start a charity devoted to educating them and shifting out of their ignorant ways.

Nah, that would be too much effort. After all, I am a gamer, which means I am a lazy, immoral, drain on the economy, quite unlike our leaders in the government. Well, that is true in my case but that is besides the point.
BlackSunEmpire's Avatar - Comment posted on 06/25/2008 19:12
BlackSunEmpire
Almost like she just needs to get her name into the papers so she can be reelected by the technology fearing people who voted for her in the first place.
Attro's Avatar - Comment posted on 06/25/2008 19:25
Attro
"...a law requiring better warning labels..."

The label already says why it's rated the way it's rated. Just like movies. Just like television. If folks cant figure this shit out then the games that their spawn are playing is the last thing we should worry about.
Puppy Licks's Avatar - Comment posted on 06/25/2008 19:50
Puppy Licks
Well you know what they say Jim,
It all starts with a rape.
TrailerParkJesus's Avatar - Comment posted on 06/25/2008 20:15
TrailerParkJesus
She just wants an excuse to play the game, that dumb whore
ace of knaves's Avatar - Comment posted on 06/25/2008 21:50
ace of knaves
I'm just picturing her playing the game, trying to rape everything that moves.
MatCD's Avatar - Comment posted on 06/25/2008 22:09
MatCD
I've seen it, it happens in the secret cow level.
Mxyzptlk's Avatar - Comment posted on 06/26/2008 00:12
Mxyzptlk
You've got to be fucking kidding me.
Redeye's Avatar - Comment posted on 06/26/2008 03:54
Redeye
Fuckwit attention-seeker in bandwagon-jumping non-shocker.

Politicians = ubertards.
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