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Second Life gets even creepier: Sex with unicorns anyone? photo

Every time I write a post about how terrifyingly Caligulan Second Life has become I swear on a copy of Jane Eyre that I will never draw more attention to that digital Sodom, but then, some virtual Guccione manages to push the boundaries of e-taste a few more creepy, poorly lubed centimeters and I'm forced to reveal yet another disturbing facet of the virtual lives being lead by those who inhabit the Lindens' metaverse.

This time word has come in from BoingBoing of the emergence of adorable baby unicorns within Second Life. People can apparently acquire the tiny, mythological beasts as pets, much like one would keep a puppy or a kitten in the real world only these companions are digitially crafted to be the epitome of adorable -- and unlike a kitten, they only use their horns for helping you defrost your freezer and chipping ice off of your windshield on particularly cold winter days.

Where's the problem with this? So far the description has been all sunshine and lollipops, right? That's up until you realize the only way to pick up your very own virtual mini unicorn is by having sex with an adult unicorn located within the game.

Kinda ruins the moment in the same way that hearing your ice cream man was convicted of sodomizing 8 year olds ruins the flavor of those gigantic ice cream sandwiches, doesn't it?


Continue: More Second Life stories





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76 comments | showing # 51 to 76

Hannah's Avatar - Comment posted on 09/08/2007 05:18
Hannah
@Dennen:

The people who actually take the game seriously need help, but those of us who just mess around and mock different subcultures (I'm particularly fond of the furries, white nationalists, and communists -- all react splendidly when poked), it's a lot of fun. Most of the people that I talk to on there view it as a glorified chatroom/sandbox.
Oninusar's Avatar - Comment posted on 09/08/2007 08:57
Oninusar
Ok here is the scoop, you go to this place called Sensual Stoneworks and once there you get Impregnated by the statue, it plants its unicorn SEED inside your avatar and you have a unicorn baby!
mackisawesome's Avatar - Comment posted on 09/08/2007 09:00
mackisawesome
LAST POST!! p.s. wtf there hasn't been a post since i went to bed.
Justice's Avatar - Comment posted on 09/08/2007 09:09
Justice
The problem is that people with a Second Life, never had a first life in the first place.

Welcome to the third place/
TehBoognish's Avatar - Comment posted on 09/08/2007 09:28
TehBoognish
Sounds like second life is a geat place to work out all those perverse urges you have so you don't go all rape-bot on the neighbors cat. or worse......
DGX Goggles's Avatar - Comment posted on 09/08/2007 09:34
DGX Goggles
Wow, Epic Sex.
HawtPawkitHero's Avatar - Comment posted on 09/08/2007 09:35
HawtPawkitHero
Comment 60!!!
itsjoshy's Avatar - Comment posted on 09/08/2007 09:55
itsjoshy
This game just gets better and better.
rabidkeebler's Avatar - Comment posted on 09/08/2007 10:07
rabidkeebler
Just as I say with every other pornographic game mentioned on any gaming website-"Just tell me when the Wii will support this game with full waggle controlse!"
balth's Avatar - Comment posted on 09/08/2007 11:15
balth
1. What happens if your avatar is male?

2. Whomever said that Unicorn is powerful if it can penetrate her capris.. amen.

3. I suppose it's not gay if it's done with enthusiasm. That's what all my military friends tell me, anyways.

4. I wonder if the in-game Reuters news agency for second life has this on their front page. Worse yet, I wonder if the insurance agencies are covering 'I got banged by a Unicorn and can now fit a pop can through my anus' insurance.

5. What happens if it's not consentual? Like you're minding your own business around the Unicorn and it attacks you? Is there a unicorn planned adulthood to suck it out?

These are but a scant sampling of the random fleeting thoughts skittering across the surface of my brain as I saw that picture.

Second Life, I decree you a weird unstoppable juggernaut of moneymaking for Linden Labs.

That is all.

jerrt's Avatar - Comment posted on 09/08/2007 11:21
jerrt
@Detry: i'm with you, man it's so much easier to get your jollies haven't worked yourself in a corner that requires artificial unicorn sex.
Lowtax's Avatar - Comment posted on 09/08/2007 11:39
Lowtax
Lol unicronbutsekcz plz.
Husky Hog's Avatar - Comment posted on 09/08/2007 12:20
Husky Hog
Damn people really need to get over that game and get something better to do than make all these insane animals
guidedbyvoip's Avatar - Comment posted on 09/08/2007 12:24
guidedbyvoip
Only one option remains. Its a difficult job, and its in the hands of one man:

[img]www.heycomputer.com/ref/legend/dark2.jpg[/img]
Sharpless's Avatar - Comment posted on 09/08/2007 12:45
Sharpless
@Husky
People will never get over this game. It's like expecting people to get over chat rooms, which is all this is - a visual chat room.
nademagnet's Avatar - Comment posted on 09/08/2007 12:53
nademagnet
Developers of Second Life: "Oh, hi there! We just made the worlds first true sand box game. You can even create ANY THING you want IN GAME. So go out there and make us a cool cyber world, Mmmkay."

Internet Fuck-tards: "SW33T! Check out my Unicorn. If you have sex with it you'll give birth to a baby Unicorn that you can play with all you want."

[b]Developers of Second Life{/b]: "Um... ok, I guess we'll roll with that. Just as long as you keep paying us ^_^"
Upgrayedd's Avatar - Comment posted on 09/08/2007 14:36
Upgrayedd
L-O-fucking-L
MechaMonkey's Avatar - Comment posted on 09/08/2007 15:43
MechaMonkey
I'm late to the party, please tell me I'm the first to make a joke about unicorns getting "horny".
GENACON's Avatar - Comment posted on 09/08/2007 16:35
GENACON
Unicorn rape for the win...

I cried twice.
WillyFourEyes's Avatar - Comment posted on 09/08/2007 19:42
WillyFourEyes
lulz. My brother signed up for Second Life, but I don't think he's encountered any bizarre horned horse-yiffing yet. Of course, he's only played it for a total of two days, and that was about a month ago.
Arugala9's Avatar - Comment posted on 09/08/2007 21:17
Arugala9
That's fucked.
JonDarkwood's Avatar - Comment posted on 09/09/2007 02:40
JonDarkwood
It's a good thing most of these people are too busy with Second Life in their parents' basements to go out into the real world and make it more miserable for the rest of us.
JonDarkwood's Avatar - Comment posted on 09/09/2007 02:40
JonDarkwood
It's a good thing most of these people are too busy with Second Life in their parents' basements to go out into the real world and make it more miserable for the rest of us.
Gajeh's Avatar - Comment posted on 09/09/2007 08:28
Gajeh
L O L
Novalon's Avatar - Comment posted on 09/09/2007 10:37
Novalon
I have no more tears left for humanity.

All is lost...

Also, cocks. Unicorn cocks.
PetiePal's Avatar - Comment posted on 09/09/2007 18:28
PetiePal
Just watch the Robot Chicken bit on unicorns lol.
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